Breast feeding in public - Cringe!

[ShiresCountryBumpkin]

As I can't find any other threads on here I'm wondering if I'm the only one reluctant to get my baps out in public! Its not just the feeling of being exposed that worries me, but also the logistics of it - I've got small boobs so cant feed whilst holding baby in my lap as he's a foot away from breast so require pillows, bed or kitchen table - not what I want to take into starbucks really!! Has anyone else overcome their embarrasment or do us shy types just end up retiring to the car or expressing like crazy??

I've never been embarrassed to bf so can't comment on that, but in terms of the practicalities, dd needed supporting and I used to rest her on a folded up sling or coat or my bag with a jumper on top to make it soft. No need to take a cushion out with you.

(I never needed to do that with subsequent dcs, I think I must have just got better at holding them in my arms.)

The thing about lots of coffee shops is they have those leather bucket chairs which you can sort of sink into and can help support quite a lot. Having said that, I have often fed in the car before getting on with the shopping because there's less to distract him.

In Starbucks etc, I'd put my ankle on opposite knee, and elbow on sofa/chair arm. Worked great. Or use a ring sling.
I didn't feel exposed - just chose vests to pull down and tops to pull up

Just did a quick google search for portable feeding cushion and this came up! Have never seen it but it might just be of use maybe.

Someone on here told me to practice in front of a mirror so you can see just how little breast you expose.
I love the vest under top idea, pull one down and the other up then pop the baby on.

You will get over it.

i just lift my baby to my breast and i feed her anywhere.... including airport / on plane / busy train / cafe / "posh" restaurant / park bench / my car / motorway services / dentist waiting room / during drs (and nurses) appt / in the breast feeding room in my local shopping centre.
My shopping centre has a nice breastfeeding room with a comfy chair and a cushion (seperate to the nappy changing room, which is actually comfortable to feed in,) and some mothercare stores have lovely feeding rooms with feeding chairs too)

it DOES get easier as babies grow bigger, and i have never had any comments or "looks" either.

almost all my NCT group BF so meeting once a week in a public place where we were all BFing really helped.

you can get breast feeding aprons (have a look for bebe au lait) if you are shy? Or a muslin tied round bra strap can do a similar job much cheaper so you dont feel too exposed... or you can be just like me and just feed her where ever.

Good Luck.
Im sure once you have done it a few times it will get easier

Practice. You'll soon be able to do it without anyone seeing anything unless they're stood 2 cm from you peering at your nipple

I found myself in the pub bf in front of a group of men I've known since I was 12. Never thought I'd see the day but it was just automatic and no one batted an eyelid

Really it's no biggie once you're proficient, but I found that it does take time to become so

I know how you feel. My DD is 7 months and I've never bf in public! How bad is that? I do hope you manage to do it though. Good luck!

I have small breasts too and DS is a fidget when out and out (very easily distracted!) so I sympathise. I honestly don't think other people are as bothered about it as we sometimes think. The first time I BFed in a cafe I was very concious of an elderly couple nearby who kept looking over with what my paranoid mind assumed to be judgey expressions. Then they struck up a conversation with us on the way out and it turned out they just liked babies.

'out and about' that should be...

I find myself seeking out comfy sofas to lounge back on, so dd can basically lie on top of me, and wear stretchy low neck t shirts so I can pull it down and a breast up and out.
Actually in this weather sitting against a tree in the park works best!
I'm having squirting issues with dd (not so much with ds) so am usually only using the better-behaved side in public. Usually I figure any observer will prefer seeing bf to hearing a howling baby but getting their faces wet is a bit different...

I just stopped going out.

I agree, with practice you probably won't need the pillows and stuff and will be able to cross your legs to be able to do it.

I was shy to begin with but got used to it all quickly enough. For me, I had a lot of pain for a while and I didn't want to be cringing and wincing as I latched her on.

Muslins are also useful for shielding things and also, for a distractable baby, to give them some peace/privacy.

I fed on buses, park benches, in shopping centres etc. and never got a dodgy look or comment (and I was SO ready iwth my responses if I had!)
However, if doing it in privacy or peace suits you better, don't feel obliged to get over the shyness and feed in cafes!

I put a foot up on a ledge, chair or whatever. It raises your knee to your breast and baby can balance on there.

You have to practice tbh. It's funny but the more confident you are at doing it, the less anyone seems to notice.

I found it really tough - had huge issues with oversupply of milk, so ds used to choke and pull off, and milk would flood out - I'd have to tuck a muslin into my bra, which woudl get completely sodden in seconds (I used to wring it out after feeds! ). I also have small boobs and am very shy about exposing myself in public.

but - I did it, regularly. Finding a slightly secluded spot helps, perhaps with your back/side turned slightly to the majority of people there, having a supportive friend there, and I found breastvests to be brilliant - they're like a top that doesn't cover your bra, so you wear a top on top, and pull that up, and the breastvest covers your tummy.

I think the key is just to do it, and keep doing it, and sometimes you'll flash by accident, but you'll get better at it. And either glare or smile friendlily at anyone staring at you!

Good luck - you can do it!

I'm embarrassed too. No matter what wear I can never do it as neatly as all the other mums in the NCT group and my boobs are on the large side. I thought that having small ones made it easier to do it discretely? Also I resent people in coffee shops who take up the few available soft comfy seats to work on their laptops rather than being considerate and offering to us breastfeeding mums!

I am smaller of nork and I think actually it's an advantage - if your baby's head covers the vast majority of your breast, there's no problem.

But if you're that self-conscious, think about a nursing cover. I never used them - and they're not for me. They also get some MNers frothing because it suggests there's something wrong with BF in public (I passionately believe there isn't). But it's your baby getting fed, and if it makes you more confident - and means you feed longer - all to the goods. But I'd go for bebe au alit rather than hooter hiders, just because hooter hiders is a really ridiculous name and they shouldn't be encouraged

I get embarrassed at latching on and taking her off at the end.
the exposed bits.

I don't mind the bit in between (apart from when i have customers and i'm worried she'll pull off while i'm serving them!)

i don't hold her in my lap though.
i cradle her in my arms.

i'm an A cup normaaly, was down to a B while still feeding occasionally- never found i needed any sort of prop or pillow and would happily feed anywhere... i think all those accessories would probably make me feel even more self concious.... people genuinely don't notice most of the time.

totally agree with vest top to pull down method- all these drapey breast feeding specific tops are way too much hassle. why don't you have a supportive/ shielding friend with you and go to a cafe at a quiet time for your first few goes- you'll be confident before you know it

good luck!

As they get bigger they can kind of sit on your lap while feeding which is actually easier so don't assume it gets harder as they get heavier. At first I was very self conscious and used to find mother and baby rooms in john Lewis, supermarket etc. Meeting up with my ante natal group helped with that - safety in numbers plus I didn't want to miss out on the conversation while sitting on my own in the baby change feeding for an hour!

Since then I have fed virtually everywhere

I had the opposite problems in that my J cups couldn't be hidden no matter how I tried, so I got a bebe au lait feeding cover and that was brill at the start when I was getting the hang of it.

By the end of a year I gave up caring though!

I struggled initially and dreaded ds needing a feed, but we went on holiday when he was 4 months old and as we were going long haul I obviously needed to be able to feed him. It's practice you need really. Crossing your legs, or putting your feet up on something like a footstool really help because you can prop your baby closer to your breast. Once they're latched on you're usually ok, unless of course you get a loud noise and the baby turns around to have a look, usually with your nipple in their mouth! Ouch!

Small Boobage here too fed four of them everywhere and anywhere. I found a top and a cardigan helps as you can sort of wrap the cardigan around the baby. I don't agree with breastfeeding covers.

You actually see so little breast as it is probably more in a town on a hot summers day!

I was laughing one day at a dance display, this Gran stood up with a blanket to shield her daughter when she was feeding, they also had a cover over the babies head, totally unnecessary and actually drew more attention than if she had lifted her top and popped the baby on.

It does get easier and easier, practice feeding without any supports just cradling the baby in your arms, I think that's part of the problem if your used to cushions it's hard without them at first. Also check out breastfeeding tops and those vests that help cover you up a bit more.

You'll be fine, honestly. Just pluck up the courage to go somewhere like Starbucks when it's not too busy. Go with other breastfeeding mothers or family/friends. Get comfortable and feed. If anyone notices, they're unlikely to say anything.

I used to get my breasts out anywhere and everywhere to feed DD - if anyone had ever said anything negative I'd have loved to have challenged them but as it was, I only ever had smiles or positive comments. The more that mothers feed out and about, the more it helps normalise breastfeeding.

sorry to be dim, but surely having smaller boobs, would make it easier.

Why the need for a kitchen table when you have two arms to hold the baby?

I don't mean to sound dismissive as I know that many women do find it hard to feed in public, bit tbh I doubt anyone is watching you- most people are either so self absorbed or rushing that they wouldn't even notice you.