Breast feeding in public - Cringe!

[ShiresCountryBumpkin]

As I can't find any other threads on here I'm wondering if I'm the only one reluctant to get my baps out in public! Its not just the feeling of being exposed that worries me, but also the logistics of it - I've got small boobs so cant feed whilst holding baby in my lap as he's a foot away from breast so require pillows, bed or kitchen table - not what I want to take into starbucks really!! Has anyone else overcome their embarrasment or do us shy types just end up retiring to the car or expressing like crazy??

I once sprayed breast milk straight from the breast all across specsavers whilst learning to breast feed. My sister found it hilarious, and after that i kinda thought it couldnt get any worse, so just whipped them out anywhere!

Please don't worry about people looking. I know some people are nobs but the majority don't care in the slightest and won't notice. Anyone who's nasty about it should be told to sod right off! You're feeding your baby-there's nothing inappropriate or sexual or weird about it, any more than there in giving a baby a bottle.

I think nearly everyone is nervous to start with- I hid under a huge scarf for the first few times! As everyone else has said, confidence comes with practice. You could go along to a breastfeeding group or out with some other breastfeeding mothers so that you're not alone. A scarf or muslin square tucked into your bra strap can help provide a bit of cover while you get settled.

I think most people don't even notice, they just think you're cuddling your baby. I've been BF in public for 3.6 years now (yes, DD1 still feeds in public!) and I have NEVER, not once, had a dirty look, complaint, insult or any remotely bad comment.

I think the mirror tip is fabulous....there really isn't that much to be seen and you will get better at it.

floofy tops with a vest underneath as already mentioned are fab, ....one up one down, with the baby on your lap as a shield no one will really notice that you are faffing with maternity/feeding bras, quick latch on and you are away

A scarf can be helpful but can also just be another thing to get tangled in. As EauRougesaid mostly folks just think you are cosying with the baby.....at least until they start making grunty piggy slurpy noises when they are a bit bigger, which tends to give the game away!

Good luck!!

The DCs always panicked when I tried covering them up to feed them so I just wore loose tops or even maternity tops (all summer babies) that pulled up and then draped back down over them without covering them completely. I kept a folded up muslin in the hand that wasn't the main one supporting the baby and clapped it over my boob to prevent squirting or dripping if they unlatched, and just leaned over and shook the top back down.

As they got to the stage of distraction and frequent detachment I generally fed them in the car, just to avoid the distraction, and also because by that time they didn't desperately need to be fed when we were out as they did when they were really small. I also tended to time trips out so as not to coincide with a feeding but their 'schedules' tended to be moveable feasts so this didn't always work out.

you need to choose your seat carefully so you're a bit tucked away and not right in the middle of a cafe.

Lots of muslin cloths or scarves to cover up.

It's much easier with friends especially those who have bf.

I find it embarrassing too and even in feeding tops seem to need to guide dd to nipple more than normal.

I think practice is the biggest help. I am still adjusting and dd is 11 weeks old.

I just maintain my belief that people can't see me if I don't want them to!

Honestly though, no one else is in the least bit interested in what you're doing; they are all (in the nicest possible way) as self absorbed as you. They'll be thinking about what they are doing and what they look like and at most the thought "there is a women breastfeeding" might flash through their mind for 2 secs.

I used a nursing cover initially ad found it really useful in situations where I felt embarrassed. I was also going on holiday to malaysia and India when DS was around 4m and bf in public without a cover would have been impossible due to cultural reasons. I don't use it anymore if I'm in the uk, but have occasionally found it useful for instance when on a really busy tube etc. it's definitely worth a try till you get more slick at getting the baby latched on quickly. Have never had to use a cushion in public. I just cross my legs and rest my arm/baby on my knee/thigh.

I'm currently at home while DH goes to Ikea on his own because I was scared that DD would want feeding while we were out! She is only 3 weeks and we're working up to it. My problem is taking her off to wind - my nipples seem massive and dark and it's really hard to take her off, adjust top, wind, then get it back down again one-handed while she wriggles. Maybe confidence will come to me as we get more used to it. At home it's just much easier to leave a boob hanging out!

Well if you don't feel comfortable then there are usually plentty of places you can go, shopping centres have feeding rooms or ask in the library if you can use a reading room.

However, once you've done it a few times you won't look back. I'm not sue why it is a problem you have small norks? You can hold him without needing pillows.

I do sympathise with not wanting to feed in public. Ds1 was a dream to feed, I fed anywhere. Dd was a nightmare, every feed was a screaming battle and it got to the point that I could only feed in bed. Practical . Ds2 seems to be a dream, 3 and a half weeks old and I have already fed plenty in public, often while walking around. I fed holding him in one arm and pushing the trolley in the supermarket the other day and today latched him on in H&M, waited for dh to pay then meandered round the shopping centre, down the street, to the market, bought lunch and he finished his feed on a bench while I ate pizza .

Wow - just a few responses then! Thanks so much everybody - sounds like practice and a vest top, together with a kick up the arse from a friend & I should get the hang of it! I promise to come back in 3 months to hopefully say that I'm BFing everywhere :)

I agree that those feeding covers are unnecessary, and I think they make it all a bit more obvious what you're doing. Plus you have enough to carry around with a small baby without adding something else! You could always get a nice scarf, there are tons of pretty ones for summer in the shops right now, and just drape it a bit. Or a muslin, which will come in useful for mopping up anyway!

I never found feeding in public too awful (even though I had a distracted baby who'd pull off to look around) but I didn't like feeding in front of people I knew much- daft or what!

i found feeding covers were too faffy. at first i used BFing rooms in shops til i got a bit more confident. now, i'll sit anywhere, and usually put my feet up on the pram wheel so my knees are raised and DS is cradled on my lap that way iyswim. loose tops with vest under is great - pull vest down, top up and when he's finished feeding the top usually falls down to cover up anyway. only issue i've ever had was when DS was rummaging in bra while feeding, and unnoticed by me (too engrossed by coffee and cake!!), had removed breast pad and was happily waving it about like a small white flag while still feeding and doing his little piggy grunting noises!

I have on really rarely fed in public and this has been at playgroups etc rather than shops. All of my babies have had reflux - they latch on fine and start feeding but then you get the sick flying out the diffculty winding and latching back on etc and by the time ive dealt with that my boobs are everywhere and every one is covered in baby sick. No amount of clever vest/cardy/ nursing top cobo has ever worked for me althoughim sure there are more graceful women who manage fine!. Anyway this has never stopped me going out almost all places have somewhere to feed larger shops have feeding areas smaller ones have changing areas, hospitals/doctors etc normally have a little corner or room to use if you ask.

More words of encouragement from me. Yes it's daunting at first. I tried it out on a bench facing a wall, then in the car, then in Starbucks with my nct group. Eventually I got better at it & was good at not exposing boob. Use baby to shield your boob, it really is more discrete than you think. Most people don't bat an eye. Some people are even encouraging. There are also baby 'cafes' run by local authorities / bf support groups. Ask your Health visitor for details of a bf support group as it's a good place to go try feeding in public.

Feeding in public makes life so easy, no bottles to think about or feeding times to stick to, just grab a muslin and go out. It makes it more likely you can bf for longer.

can't be that obvious.
lady in the shop yesterday, spoke to me while I was bfing DD and said, "is that your baby?"

she was either dim or it was unnoticeable

I made Dh come with me the first time I ever fed in public. I also used a feeding cover for ages with ds.

With dd, I dno't bother, and Dh reckons it's more subtle because I haven't got an enormous bit of fabric. However, it did make me mroe confident as a first timer.

I wouldn't use my DH as a shield! I'd be halfway through feeding her before he worked out what he was supposed to be covering up.

He didn't come to cover me! WE'd've looked like some kind of many limed beastie! I just wanted moral support (and a heavy in case anyone challenged me!)

i was thinking of hiding the nipple whilst latching.

Lots of great advice for you Op. I'll agree that practicing in a mirror works.

Take a friend with you whose also breastfed & try a park first, then a cafe, then somewhere busier.

Purchase some trendy scarfs (justified scarf collection in my wardrobe!)

Always remember that people are busy and whilst you feel "all eyes on you" there probably isn't anyone looking or if they are it will be a brief 'oh that lady is nursing, how nice' and back to their well needed coffee as they're having a shit day a work.

Could you go along to a breast feeding cafe/group too? You'll see other mums there doing the same and can build your confidence. I fed at one of them for two sessions and then braved the public when dd was 2 weeks old. It was terrifying but i did it and then each time after that was easier.

Now it's second nature and people don't even see or notice what I'm doing unless I accidentally spray the room with milk when dd (8months) decides to smile at random strangers when I feed

Well done to cheesy earlier in the thread for feeding twice in public so far...keep going and I promise it gets easier and definitly congratulate yourself for achievements like this - it isn't 'normal' for boobs to be out in public so you are going against what you know and have been brought up with.

Good luck

I was really excited about BF my baby in public for the first time, goodness knows why, but when it came to it I was a bit nervous and my husband was seriously on edge, scanning the room like an MI5 agent, lest someone notice!

We're both over it now and I don't even bother with a vest underneath to pull down now, I just pull my top up or down, whatever's easiest, and get on with it.

Before I breastfed, I never never noticed anyone else breastfeeding, now I notice them all the time. They must have been there before, I just didn't see. I'd guess most people are the same.