Extended Breastfeeding - did you always know you would?

[TitaniaP]

I have an 8 mo DS and we had loads of problems breastfeeding to start with (wouldn't latch, undiagnosed (until 13 weeks) tongue tie, low supply and really slow weight gain). We seem to have overcome all the problems (with lots of good advice on here) except I still seem to have low supply and am still taking domperidone. I always thought I would feed until at least 4 months, and then it became 6 months and then a year...

I'm starting to think about returning to work and find myself not wanting to give up. Due to the above issues, DS has been mixed fed since he was 4 months old, with me giving 1 or two bottles a day. The last three days he has point blank refused his bottles, screaming and physically pushing it away. Which has made me think the matter might have been taken out of my hands! I assumed (maybe incorrectly) that due to my low supply he would self-wean quite early (and he still could of course).

I have to hold my hands up and admit that prior to DS I thought extended breastfeeding was a little weird (I was oblivious to the benefits) and would never imagine myself wanting to feed for so long (I realise 8 months is still very young and I'm nowhere near extended just yet). I now realise how ignorant my views were and totally understand the reasons why people feed to two and beyond.

So I guess my questions are:
If you fed your children to lets say past a year (not sure when the term extended kicks in), did you always plan it that way, or did it just happen.

How did your family and friends react (or did you not tell them).

How did your partner react. My partner has been incredibly supportive thus far, but I'm not sure what his reaction will be to this. I think because it's so unusual in our society people don't always know what to think.
How should I go about cutting down on the domperidone? Down to three a day now, but any less does seem to impact (or is it just in my head?)
When I go back to work, can I just feed morning and night?

Any experiences gratefully received as I don't know many people in RL who have fed past a year. Thanks if you've read this far!

mawbroon - I said that with DD2 I was convinced I would be bfing DD1 & DD3 and DD2 would have have stopped!

No, DD1 stopped a month before DD3 was born at 3.6y and DD2 is 4.3y and 'still' going though she is down to once a week so I am never sure if she has stopped or not.

I didnt really think about it before having DS. I knew my mum BF us, so knew I would do it (or at least try!) but I didnt have any idea how long she actually fed us for.
DS is now 17m and only on one feed a day most of the time, which he has been since about 13m. DS2 is due in a few weeks and I'm planning to tandem feed them, I imagine DS will start having more feeds again then!

I didn't think i would get to one month never mind 2.5 years

I would like to wean and have done at many points but DD has other ideas - she can nurse like a newborn at times

I am an accidental extended breastfeeder

I was going to just see how it went, don't think I had any particular 'aims' except maybe the first week. As it turned out, DS had other ideas and we're still going strong at 2.3 .

I never thought about feeding past 6 months. I gave up with DD at 13 weeks after rather poor support I realise in hindsight. With DS I just really wanted to get to 6 months.

We had a difficult start but I was more informed and more determined and had fab support from here TBH - TikTok. 6months came and went, it seemed stupid to change to FF when I was off work for a year and was much easier than swapping to bottles.

12 months came and went. DH muttered a couple of times about isn't it time we stopped now, I said I was going to give it a bit longer yet. He realised it wasn't his decision
DS self weaned at 2 and a bit after very gently gradually reducing on his own. I gave a slight nudge for nightweaning as the broken nights were killing me, about 19 months.

I still miss it a bit TBH. I wouldn't have believed you if you said I would still be feeding him at 2 when he was walking, chatting and going to preschool. I just encourage people to remember they don't need to plan when they will stop, just take each day as it comes.

Not planning any more, but for another baby I would plan to feed until they self weaned again, it was great. DH if I am honest benefited from me doing all the night time stuff, but he was taking DS away for the odd night from about 14/15 months without any problem.

Still feeding DS at 3.3 here. (Just at bedtime and when he's sick these days.)

No, I didn't intend to do extended BFing!

I had no idea about BFing, prior to being a mum. I always knew I'd try to BF, but I supposed I'd give up when DS was about 1 I guess (no idea where I got that idea from!)

I also would have thought extended feeding a bit odd as I knew nothing about it.

But once I became a mum, and we had established BFing without pain, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to do.

I read about the medical advice being to BF until 2, so I made that my target (being from a science background, a recommendation from the WHO is good enough for me!)

But 2 has come and gone and I'm still BF a year later. DS shows no signs of self-weaning and I suppose I'll have to push the issue at some point. But DS was horribly ill a couple of weeks ago, he was refusing food and water, but he wanted to BF. I'm always so relieved I can still BF him when he's sick.

I just took it one day at a time. I had a terrible time establishing bf with ds1, and absolutely hated having to top him up with formula (which he was allergic to, so it made him absolutely miserable), so once bf was sorted and I was on a suitable elimination diet, it was fairly natural to carry on until he no longer needed milk or got over his CMP intolerance.

By the time that happened, he had his own ideas and wasn't about to take a no from me just because I didn't want to feed, so we carried on until he was ready to stop. 2y9m, as it happened (I was pg).

I never really discussed it with anyone much, when people asked me how long I was planning to feed for I always answered 'for as long as we both want to'.

With ds2 I was expecting to bf for at least a couple of years, as I wouldn't want to short change him compared to what ds1 got...

Dh has been totally supportive all the way through, and will be very sad when ds2 eventually stops feeding, I think.

Yes indeed TruthSweet. Time certainly does fly! Like RubySlippers, I would describe myself as an accidental extended breastfeeder!

My DD is 19mo and I have every intention of enabling full term breastfeeding. I wanted to breastfeed when I was pregnant and knew about the benefits of long term feeding, I had the book' food of love', I was prepared for any eventually except for the one which we ended up with. My DD was starved of oxygen during the very last minutes of labour and was placed in a cooling coma to try and save her life, she was in a coma for a week, I was frantically pumping, then my milk came in at the same time as I was hit by the shock and stress which caused me to collapse on the ward. when DD was brought round we had to teach her to suck and t feed, she was used to a belly full of milk every three hours and so just didn't realise she had to suck to get milk and my supply was dire. At one point in any 24hours I was feeding DD every three hours, then pumping for an hour, then sleeping for an hour, then spending 8am till 10pm with DD on NICU then try to rest.
Suffice to say when we got home I was exhausted and distraught, we had to top up to start with as DD was very poorly, at just over a months she refused the bottle and just had breast milk, feeding every hour to two hours she was simply boosting my supply but my latch wasn't corrected for three weeks by which point I was bleeding continually. I was so determined to feed I did jeopardise our bonding because baby = pain.
At 8 weeks we found she had a severe cows milk intolerance and soya intolerance so I had to restrict my diet, I didn't want to feed her hypo formula and so pressed on.
Gradually very slowly the bond between us grew and in our situation that was by feeding and co sleeping, severe separation anxiety hit and she was with me constantly. It was hard. Then she started nursery at six months and the bugs started, with each one she became iller and iller, being forced to wean by dieticians who said my continued breastfeeding (at seven months) was the cause of her not eating enough, so I continued to feed at lunchtimes walking to and from nursery. We then found out she had a terrible ear infection and THAT was why she wouldn't eat. But I kept on feeding and slowly she ate more.
Now we are dealing with renewed wanting of milk as she can ask for it, hands down my top, all night feeding, but I would be sad to stop before 2, and would love to tandem feed but she would be 3yrs minimum.

If you fed your children to lets say past a year (not sure when the term extended kicks in), did you always plan it that way, or did it just happen.
Always planned to feed for a natural term
How did your family and friends react (or did you not tell them). ?
They know I still feed, I do rely on them knowing DD can't have the usual dairy sources and spas she is frequently admitted to hospital and on more than one occasion it is the only nutrition and comfort she will have. We don't feed in public now unless it is a baby place or at like minded friends houses.
How did your partner react.?
It's a joint decision but he is very uncomfortable with me feeding unless at home
How should I go about cutting down on the domperidone?
I would strongly suggest speaking to the national breastfeeding support network, I would eat oats (flapjack, porridge etc) and get your supply up by drinking plenty of water, taking fenugreek, mothers tea, and then cut it down. I know you said you mix feed, tbh I would ditch that if you can and baby moon, offer offer offer, get baby to boost your supply but def speak to an expert
When I go back to work, can I just feed morning and night?
DD went to this pattern of feeding about her first birthday and I got mastitis which given the journey we've had was an unwelcome surprise. Then she has boosted up her feeds again, and she reverse cycles, the less she feeds in the day the more she feeds at night! I do want to night wean but will wait until her current teeth are through.

With ds1, I intended to feed for 8 weeks as I was going back to work when he was 15 weeks old ( Ireland 1996!) But I didn't want to stop, so continued, and thought I would stop when I actually got to work. Then in a baby book I had, it said "It is perfectly possible to work and breastfeed" and gave instructions on expressing. Couple of colleagues thought I was weird, I thought they were small-minded. I ended up bfing him for a year.
Ds2 bfed for a year
Ds3 thanks to Mumsnet bfed for 2.8 years, gave up to ttc ds4 as I couldn't get pg while bfing.
ds4 bfed till 2, gave up to ttc dd.
I intended to bf dd for as long as we wanted but then she died, aged 7 weeks.

I was also on Domperidone for DD and DS. I had low-supply and worked very hard at BF.
Mixed fed for 14 months for DD and EBF for DS until he turned 2.
DD2 is 8m old and my supply has been fab (apparently because I was still BFing DS not long before getting pregnant again!)

Just happened. I worked so hard at it, i wasn't stop just like that!

I think people think I take BF a bit too seriously. My mum even told me to stop when DS was about 18 month even tough she BF herself always told me about the benefits!

The biggest issue was the sleep problems which were related to BF as I BF my DCs to sleep so they were addicted to falling asleep feeding and would wake up after a cycle looking for me. DH did get annoyed with the sleep issues. Not the BF really.

How should I go about cutting down on the domperidone? Down to three a day now, but any less does seem to impact (or is it just in my head?) I was the smae as you. I was worried that if I stopped my whole supply would be affected. i honestly think it was psychological. Maybe try just 2 and a half etc...

When I go back to work, can I just feed morning and night? Definitely.

Sorry, my post was epic

chip monkey sorry for the loss of your DD

Chipmonkey, sorry for your loss.

Congratulations TruthSweet! Hello Mibby

DS is 16 months and I thought we'd be lucky to get to 6 months (difficult start due to TT). I went back to work at 4.5 months. He now only feeds in the evening and at night. DH is mostly supportive and most other people don't really know, although I don't hide it if it comes up in conversation. My Mum was a bit dismissive of it last time she came to stay which disappointed me, but I just ignored her and carried on anyway!

If you fed your children to lets say past a year (not sure when the term extended kicks in), did you always plan it that way, or did it just happen.

I had planned six months, simply because I thought that that was how long you fed for . Then for a year, once I realised that if you stopped earlier you needed to replace with formula. Then just sort of carried on to around 21 months, when I was pregnant with DD2 and my milk dried up. DD1 was not interested in dry nursing and, since it was painful at that point, TBH I was fairly relieved.

How did your family and friends react (or did you not tell them).

I didn't particularly mention it to people past about a year. It's recently come up in conversation to a couple of friends and they have been pretty positive about it.

How did your partner react.

I honestly don't think he has ever reacted at such. It was just something we do and took for granted. I'm not explaining this very well, but it would be a bit like asking his reaction to giving them a bath, or changing their clothes or something.

When I go back to work, can I just feed morning and night?

I went back to work at 11 months and we were fine morning and night. Some babies/toddlers like to feed more on the days you are around, but DD1 was consistently not interested in daytime feeds once she got into the pattern of not doing so when I was at work.

Hope that helps. Past about a year breastfeeding was a total breeze for us. No nursing bras, no top tugging, happy to settle without if I was out for some reason. A total joy. I hope to do the same again.

OP - I remember your earlier thread and posted about my experience. Well done on getting to here. I have supply issues too and took domperidone for a few months. I dropped it at 6 months on the dot after a slow wind-down from 8 a day (with ongoing debates with DH about dropping one a week / me panicking about the effect of reducing the dose). In any event, I agreed to stop at 6 months on the basis that that getting to 6 months would be success of sorts. So stopped, was coincdentally away from DS2 for 24 hours and pumped every 3 hours and got exactly the same amount as he took from a bottle plus his normal one bottle of formula per day. Which made me feel much more relaxed about the whole thing and think that the domperidone may have been a psychological crutch after it had its initial impact (and I'm sure it did have an impact). By the way I've always been able to express modest amounts after feeding/when DS2 was having his one bottle of formula pre 6 months so if you can't express at all I wouldn't treat this as the only test - it just showed me that stopping domperidone hadn't ended my supply.

DS2 is 14 months now and we are both very enthusiastic about feeding! On your questions:

If you fed your children to lets say past a year (not sure when the term extended kicks in), did you always plan it that way, or did it just happen.

Planned to make it work this time - so more than with DS1 - 7 months mixed fed - and probably at least a year. Now I can't imagine wanting to stop.

How did your family and friends react (or did you not tell them).

Friends and family know. Friends mostly fine (I don't know anyone who has done this) but a few comments about it being really wierd ("bitty") after 18 months. I've referred to the WHO guidelines and what is biologically normal and they don't say much. If I'm honest, I'm not that comfortable feeding in public any more and try to distract but would rather feed than have a screaming child.

How did your partner react.

He thinks I've "made it work", point proved, you can stop now but is willing to accept it (and thinks sticking boob in mouth is a pheonomenally useful baby silencer which he would be reluctant to lose...)

When I go back to work, can I just feed morning and night?

I'm feeding morning, when I get home and bedtime 4 days a week and more on days I'm at home. For the first month was also back to feeding all night but we've cracked that for the meantime with DH taking night duties for 3 nights in a row. I worry about supply and think I will always worry that it isn't great/isn't enough/is frustrating for DS2 having to plug away for ages to get another let-down but he doesn't seem to mind so I guess it works ok.

It never occured to me that I would not breast feed. People said did I have formula in just in case and how did I know etc. But I was really adamant that I would do it and that was it. Obviously had DS had a problem that would have been different but I based my decision on everything being OK which it was. He's now 11 months old and I have no plans to stop yet despite a few people starting to hint that I should. Returning to work has not stopped me either. I'm lucky that I can use a workplace nursery so can feed at lunch time but usually he can go 9 -5 without anyway. He's just started to say "aboooo" which we think is an attempt at "boob"