Extended Breastfeeding - did you always know you would?

[TitaniaP]

I have an 8 mo DS and we had loads of problems breastfeeding to start with (wouldn't latch, undiagnosed (until 13 weeks) tongue tie, low supply and really slow weight gain). We seem to have overcome all the problems (with lots of good advice on here) except I still seem to have low supply and am still taking domperidone. I always thought I would feed until at least 4 months, and then it became 6 months and then a year...

I'm starting to think about returning to work and find myself not wanting to give up. Due to the above issues, DS has been mixed fed since he was 4 months old, with me giving 1 or two bottles a day. The last three days he has point blank refused his bottles, screaming and physically pushing it away. Which has made me think the matter might have been taken out of my hands! I assumed (maybe incorrectly) that due to my low supply he would self-wean quite early (and he still could of course).

I have to hold my hands up and admit that prior to DS I thought extended breastfeeding was a little weird (I was oblivious to the benefits) and would never imagine myself wanting to feed for so long (I realise 8 months is still very young and I'm nowhere near extended just yet). I now realise how ignorant my views were and totally understand the reasons why people feed to two and beyond.

So I guess my questions are:
If you fed your children to lets say past a year (not sure when the term extended kicks in), did you always plan it that way, or did it just happen.

How did your family and friends react (or did you not tell them).

How did your partner react. My partner has been incredibly supportive thus far, but I'm not sure what his reaction will be to this. I think because it's so unusual in our society people don't always know what to think.
How should I go about cutting down on the domperidone? Down to three a day now, but any less does seem to impact (or is it just in my head?)
When I go back to work, can I just feed morning and night?

Any experiences gratefully received as I don't know many people in RL who have fed past a year. Thanks if you've read this far!

If you fed your children to lets say past a year (not sure when the term extended kicks in), did you always plan it that way, or did it just happen.

No, just happened. I'd never even given any thought to how long people breastfed for, but once I'd started I just kept on until the DCs wanted to stop.

How did your family and friends react (or did you not tell them).

I didn't tell people in general unless they asked, which by and large they didn't. My close family knew -- I suspect my mother in particular thought it was a bit odd but no one ever said anything.

How did your partner react. My partner has been incredibly supportive thus far, but I'm not sure what his reaction will be to this. I think because it's so unusual in our society people don't always know what to think.

He was fine. I imagine if I'd known up front when I was pregnant the first time that I was going to breastfeed for years rather than weeks or months he'd have thought it was odd, but just as for me he saw it going on one day at a time with no particular reason to stop.

When I go back to work, can I just feed morning and night?

Yes. I carried on that way (with an extra feed at weekends) for ages with DC1 and DC2.

Eglu - DS is also 8 months (but my first). I just can't imagine at the moment not being able to pick him up and feed him when he needs it.

He's trying to stand at the moment which means he falls over a lot. If he has a big bump, feeding him is like instant comfort. I'm really not sure how much actual feeding he does when I'm trying to comfort him - maybe that's why a lot of people talk about nursing rather than feeding (or is that more of an Americanism?)

He is also one of the worlds worst sleepers and bf is one of the quickest ways to get him to sleep (I like my rod, thank you very much!)

Thanks so much for sharing your stories.

No I didn't plan it. I thought getting to six months would be good going. As I was all ready to give up at four weeks getting to two years feels like an achievement.

I do wonder how family will take it if we continue past a year. I think my family will be okay as my Aunt bfed her younger DD until 3 so they have experience of it.

I think my MIL is already slightly uncomfortable with it as she only fed her two for a couple of months each. She is too polite to say anything though.

Have started reading on the matter and thought that from 6 months onwards they need at least a few solids to keep iron levels up?

I've read this too - in the River Cottage Baby and Toddler cookbook they mention that BF babies over six months will benefit from a vitamin tablet as breastmilk doesn't have everything they need by that point (one assumes food can also make up the gap). Also the bit about iron was reported recently (within last year) in the press.

I took domperidone with DS and found that if I skipped one of my tablets it really made a difference to my supply... it works because a side-effect of pomperidone is to cause your prolaction levels to increase, I think.

Congrats to all of you on BF for so long - my DS hated BF and for various reasons was FF from 2 months onwards! I'm planning to try again with DC2.

Any why am I on this thread, you may ask? Sheer nosiness :)

Why do people's family even know about these things? I can't understand it. My mil doesn't interrogate me and nor does my mother. Don't volunteer and dont respond to queries.

Speaking for myself, my family noticed me feeding the DCs; I suppose I could have pointed out of the window and shouted "My word, what on earth is THAT?" in the hope of distracting them, but it probably wouldn't work for the duration of a whole feed...

Speaking for myself, it's because DD1 shouts "I want some booby milk!" at the top of her voice

Seriously though, I don't know how I would spend the entire day or even an afternoon with relatives without DD1 wanting a BF, she is a very enthusiastic feeder and not one of those 3yo that only feeds in the morning and evening.

With regards to starting solids, it is recommended to start at around 6mo or when your baby shows signs of readiness. The Baby Led Weaning book or website has good info.

I think there is some confusion about 'EBF'- to some it means 'extended BF' and to others it means 'exclusive BF', which in turn can be taken to mean that a baby is fed only on breastmilk (no solids) or that he is fed only on breastmilk and solid food with no formula milk. In terms of NHS guidelines I think it means that a baby is fed only on breastmilk (no solids).

Oh yes EauRough, by EBF i meant exclusive BFing. Thanks for clarifying!

EauRouge, even, sorry!

NO! I absolutely didn't plan to be BFing a school aged child.

DD1 was such a nightmare to BF it was just amazing to hold a baby he seemed to know what to do.

Of course I didn't know then that she not only knew how to feed aged 1 day, but that she instinctively knew how to feed as she grew up.

I'm very lucky I had a couple of friends who fed DC to about 5 and a family who don't go in for interfering.
I'm sure DSIS thinks I'm a touch weird, bit she knows that already.
She's always had the misfortune of being the normal younger sister trying to explain "I'm not a bit like Startail"!

I only really learnt about extended BFing from reading forums etc in the year or two before I got PG. Once I had DS I was absolutely determined to BF and fought my way through several hurdles, so then really wanted to keep going to a year. At that point I thought I'll feed till about 2, although would reconsider at 18 months. 18 months has come and gone and I'm still going strong at 19 months, and am beginning to think 2 is not so far away and am not sure I want to push it to stop if DS isn't ready. DH is beginning to mutter about how we should think about weaning him (off the breast that is, I think most children are eating solids pretty well by a year and my DS is no exception).

TruthSweet I didn't know you were pregnant, many congratulations!

Thanks Woodland it's all a bit new to me too - I am 10 weeks and only found out a month ago!

Oh I meant to add that my nearest LLL group is 20 miles away (amazing since I live in a big city). There is a local bfn group, but the women who run it although lovely are peer supporters. My local NHS IFS is not not allowed to see babies over 6 weeks

Argh clicked post too soon.

So there really is no-one locally to discuss the domperidone with unless I pay privately for an IBLC which we'd struggle to do at the moment.

A lot of LLL leaders will chat over the phone if you just phone your nearest one, or you could try the national helpline or email help form :) Contact details are here.

Thanks EauRouge I'll try that!

I never ever thought I'd carry on this long (still feeding, DS is 2.6 and I'm 20wks pregnant).

Once (years ago), I saw a woman feeding a toddler that was younger than DS is now, and I did think it was odd, and I judged (I remember thinking 'walking, talking, shouldn't be still breastfeeding'). I am SOOOO embarrassed by my former self!

Now that I'm pregnant again, everyone seems to think I need to stop, but I just don't see the urgency. I never imagined myself tandem feeding, but I didn't imagine feeding past 6 months to begin with, so we'll just see what DS does in the next 4.5 months.

Is there some confusion between "weaning" ie introducing solids and "weaning" as in weaning off the breast?

I do know that they are perfectly fine on breastmilk and ridiculously minimal solids for a lot longer than you'd expect, but it's not a course of action I'd recommend taking purposefully. I do really recommend BLW as a method of introducing solids, though :)

I thought I'd feed my twins to 6 months, or until they got their first teeth. I was really not keen on feeding a baby with teeth.

My babies are now 16 months old (and have 8 teeth each!) and we're still feeding. I'm back at work, so they feed about 4 times between 8pm and 6am on my working days and feed unrestricted in the day as well at the weekend/if I am on leave.

DH asked the other day when I might stop, and I explained the WHO guidelines of 2 years. I think he accepted that, but I think he'd rather I stopped sooner (if not already). I don't really know his views on it because I don't want to disagree when I'm going to carry on feeding anyway

My mum knows better than to comment now. She thought I was mad for continuing past 6 weeks, though I don't know whether that's because the first 6 weeks were tough or whether she thinks 6 weeks is the 'right' length of time to feed. Again, I'd rather not have the discussion/argument when I'm happy with what I'm doing and going to carry on doing what I thinking right.

Right now I am happy to carry on. Whether we'll reach 2 years or self weaning or stop tomorrow, I don't know. I'm going to feed them for as long as they want it and I'm happy to do it. If either if those changes, I'll wind it down/stop feeding (and pump to wind down and avoid mastitis) depending on which feels best at the time.

One thing I really didn't anticipate is the simplicity of it all. Once I got past the first 9 really tough weeks, it just became a way of life. I don't worry about doing it, I don't worry about what other people think about me doing it, and I don't worry about when I'll stop.

Congrats on getting this far OP. I am currently breastfeeding DD now 16 months. I was always going for a year of bf. Before I was a parent I had briefly worked for the NCT so I knew the benefits. My return to work was fine when she was 10 months. She had a feed am, when I picked her up and before bed. Until she was 1 she had expressed at nursery in a cup and then after a year she had cows milk there. At a year, she was so happy with the boob that I decided to carry on. She is at nursery four days a week and i wanted to give her some immunity from all the bugs. I'm touching wood but it has worked! However although i was enjoying it at 1, I'm finding it a bit of a chore now. My jobs pretty full on and i don't get a moment to drink or eat which means I'm pretty run down at the moment. I really admire natural term breeders,but it is not for me. I wonder if continuing to the point she has a word for it ' more boo' will make it harder to stop in a few months. Though i am rare amongst my friends, i do talk about it openly and have met many others who have carried on for longer than they would normally admit and have also encouraged others. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

My dd is almost 23 months and is breastfed...whenever she wants really. Yesterday she fed several times because she had a tummy bug but we can go days in between feeds now. Mostly she asks first thing in the morning and last thing at night. She has slept through since she was 11 months so no night feeds anymore.

When I was pregnant I wasn't sure how I would feed my dd. I knew that breastfeeding was best for my baby but I had decided to see how it went. I had bottles and formula at home just in case.

Towards the end of my pregnancy a friend in work mentioned that she fed her dd for two years and that got me thinking and I did a bit of research into it, which did make me more determined to breastfeed, but like many others I thought let's try for 3 months, then 6 then 1 year and now my dd is nearly 2 and here we are "still" feeding! To be honest I am delighted. I do think I have discouraged my dd from breastfeeding more often over the past 6 months or so. I feel a bit guilty about that...but more often than not my dd gets to bf when she wants and its so lovely. She loves "boo boo" and I love giving it to her.

Reactions have been mixed. I have converted my immediate family's thinking I think - they used to be a bit horrified at the thought of a toddler being breastfed but now that its actually happening they don't seem too bothered. My mum is a softy with my dd and anything that makes my dd happy seems to make her happy! My in laws don't seem so sure...when my dd asks for boo boo in front of my mil she will say oh you don't need that your a big girl! A couple of my cousins have remarked that It's not normal and that the who guidelines only apply to developing countries! To be honest, I don't hide the fact that we continue to breastfeed but it doesn't really come up in conversation either.

My dh has supported my decision to continue 100%. He see's it as being a natural thing to do now.

With regards to feeding morning and night only, we have done this since I went back to work when my dd was almost 13 months old. If you are thinking about doing this before your dc's first birthday you'll need to offer formula in the day, but after 1this is not an issue.

DD is 20 months - not sure if that's extended or not. It was never planned. Initially I would have been ecstatic to make it to 6 months and I intended to try to get to a year to avoid formula. I figured I would then stop but DD had other ideas. I think I'd kind of like to stop now as she is becoming more demanding at times now and occasionally it causes embarrassment in public (and indeed at a meeting with DS's male teacher, although he politely pretended not to notice the toddler trying to pull up my top!)

My friends and family know I still feed her at home and have expressed no surprise or distaste at all.

DH doesn't mind a bit and has always been totally supportive.

Don't know about domperidone

I went back to work when DD was 7 months old and have only fed morning and night since then (initially late afternoon as well, but never expressed for her at work). It worked just fine for us.

gaelic - never say your DD is 20 MONTHS old It doesn't seem much beyond a few months ago that she was a little baby. Congratulations to getting to 20m - that is a FANTASTIC achievement on both your parts!

With ds1, I thought you "had" to stop at 6months. When I got to 6months I decided to go to a year and see what happened. Then at a year, I saw no reason to stop, so decided to go to 2yrs, as per the WHO recommendations, but again saw no reason to stop. Now at 6yo, I think he is finally stopping.

If you had told me I would feed this long, I would have thought you crazy!

With ds2, I went into it knowing I will feed him til he self weans. I think he will stop much earlier than ds1. Famous last words....