Is this normal or not? Weepy and Overwhelmed...

[OpheliasWeepingWillow]

Named changed as embarrassed :(

Gave birth last week, labored almost 2 days and ended in EMCS. Lots of pain and really 'shocked' by the whole experience.

Now home and:

Baby is ebf but I seem to be feeding feeding feeding despite lots of supply. Almost impossible to nap or rest at night.

This would not be such a problem but... I am so weepy! Every time I feed (i.e. all the time) I am overwhelmed by the enormity of having a baby and screwing it up somehow.

This afternoon she was so fussy and I ended up just bawling but in a really hormonal way, not in a 'depressed' way.

Still taking painkillers (strong) and feeling guilty. I already take ADs and REALLY do not want to slide into PSD.

I of course have entire half days when I am not crying :) Perhaps it's just been one of those afternoons?

So - is it normal to be a weepy mess half the time after you have had a baby and said baby is a little bit fussy? Is this baby blues?

Is it at all related to breastfeeding? Clueless here.

Thanks for reading.

Congratulations!
Yes, it is normal... I have had 3 dc and the hormones are nightmarish to start with, add that to lack of sleep, and generally getting used to having a new baby (is it your first?), then actually you sound pretty sane!!

It is also normal for the baby to feed alot to start with - just try to go with the flow with breastfeeding - feed on demand and just try to get as much rest as you can inbetween.

Sounds like you're doing great!!!

And, the feeding WILL get better at night....
If you can feed lying down that will help at night - I found that really hard to do until baby bigger, but lots of people can and then you can doze while baby feeds.

Totally totally normal. I had an EMCS too and was shocked by the whole experience and especially how weak and vulnerable I felt afterwards. I think I cried every day for the first two weeks at home. It's the hormones rushing through you and the shock of what your body has been through but I promise it gets much better very soon! I did a post natal NCT course and it helped so much to meet other Mums at the same stage as me.

Breast feeding is full on when baby is tiny, I didn't expect it either but for the first few weeks you just sit and feed all day. Make yourself a comfortable place to feed with the tv remote, books, water and easy to eat food within reach and don't worry about housework, cooking or anything else.

You'll start to feel normal again in a few weeks. Good luck!

Thank you both - it's like my face won't stop leaking and I'm so scared of PND.

This doesn't feel like depression though, it feels just very hormonal and out of control.

I think it is possible to tell the difference between depression and being a weepy hormonal mess, and you can trust your gut instinct on this. You've given birth, had a major op, you are physically knackered, your hormones are going bonkers and it is all overwhelming. It would be strange would it not if you were not discombobulated?
My baby is 2.5 weeks old and feeds what feels like 27 hours a day. I feel your pain. Let's hang on in there. On another thread a poster said, don't worry about tomorrow, just concentrate on today. I'm going to make that my motto for getting through these early days. If you worry whether PND is just around the corner, that's going to drive you bonkers on its own.
Let us know how you get on.

It's baby blues. It's so, so normal. I was there 4 months ago. It passes, really it does. Then you forget how awful it was, and do it again... tbh I was far worse with DD (4 months tomorow) than DS (3). Tiny babies are relentless - DD fed for 40 mins every hour and a half at that age, had no idea of day or night, I was exhausted from pg, labour (and 3 yo) and on top of all this - you (and I ) have an open wound!

You have hormones flying all over the place, they will settle, but it is very early days for you. Spend as much time as you can resting, get DP/DH to wait on you, take the baby for walks, and maybe get on the www to find exiting things to do with your baby once you are up and about again.

With my first CS I was walking a few miles after a fortnight and was driving again after 4 weeks. If you don't have a baby sling/carrier, get one. They are great for carrying baby while your stomach muscles are too weak to push a pram.

My top tip for getting through those first two or three weeks with a newborn and a CS - Marks and Spencer ready meals are delicious!

My mum is a recovering alcoholic (has not drunk a drop for over 30 years) and I lived by "One Day at a Time" when my babies were tiny. Sometimes it was even "I'll just see how I go to lunchtime...."

Also know how you feel, DD is ten days old and feel all over the place emotionally. DP was [confusec] on day 7 after I spilt a cup of water and howled for ten minutes that I was no good as a mother .

I did have a VB but it followed 3 attempts at induction and ended in episiotomy and ventouse delivery and lost a lot of blood. DP has to give me daily fragmin injections and the first attempt at that at home ended in a flashback for me of the last stage of delivery and subsequent hysterics. I think this is normal!

Hey Ophelias

Yes, completely normal but I do understand what you mean about it not feeling like depression. Had DS three months ago and it's only really just dawned on me that what I was experiencing was depression. At the time I felt so bloody awful I wished I was depressed! But it's the hormones.

I've had depression in the past and this was TOTALLY different. It didn't help that it occurred during the period that people said women can get the 'baby blues'. That is such a massive understatement but it might be called that because what your feeling now will subside.

I kept telling myself 'well done' if it was a good day or 'not as bad as it could be' if it had been bad. Bad days turned into bad afternoon or mornings or evenings as the bad days became less frequent and stop occupying 24 hours. Soon I was having better days even when the feeding was difficult. DS is bf too. But remember a lot of the stress and anxiety comes from sleep deprivation, a half hour nap really changed my mood.

Please don't stress about getting PND, if you are diagnosed then that's good because you're getting the help you need. Speak openly and plainly to you HV, midwife or GP if you feel you can, they are there to help you. The way you feel now is not uncommon, unique or shameful - but it can be helped.

And use MN for support and funny stories when you can!

Congratulations too!

You really could have been describing me in your post! Those hormones are a real bugger. And it was quite a shock to me also that the feeding seemed to go on for 24 hours a day.

I remember bursting into tears all the time at the silliest things. My first family outing involved me sitting at an outdoor cafe weeping! I felt vulnerable, exposed, and as though every emotion was right at the surface. It does get better!

One tip - go with the feeding thing. Resign yourself to being stuck on the sofa for large chunks of the day and aim to enjoy it! Surround yourself with food you like, learn to browse web while bf (lots of pillows supporting baby is the key), set up a little station with water bottle, phone, TV remote, etc. Lie back and relax.

You are all awesome. Thank you. Really thought I was losing my mind.

Baby is sleeping now and all I can do is stare at her and try not to cry with wonder / fear / exhilaration / fatigue.

So glad this is normal, I can't tell you!

You're so not alone! I had an EMCS too and it knocked me for six. I was in hospital for six days due to complications and on my third day I was in a total hormonal mess and I just couldn't stop crying.

The cloud did lift after a couple of weeks and I too questioned if I had PND as I just felt so low. It DOES get better and if you feel like it isn't getting better, do talk to someone. :)

Thanks Showtunes

Last night was super tricky as she fed on and off for over five hours - just would not be put down, overtired, fussy... Thoughts of dummies fleeting across my mind...

My DH is going to take a few days off to help thank goodness

How are you today OP?

Hallo Osterley - better but have found that evenings are worse for some reason, perhaps a day full of hormones and breast feeding? Having some oversupply issues and green poo + spluttering baby with wind so trying to work through that.
Oh and went for a long walk and almost fainted in a cafe - too soon after emcs I think . Perhaps I just need to chill out a little?

You're right I think! Don't try to do too much too soon, it took me about 8 weeks to feel strong/normal again. Be careful to get plenty of fluid too as its easy to get dehydrated when you're feeding and don't have much time to think about yourself. Do you have any family to help?

Unfortunately I live away from all my family but I do have a full time housekeeper so it's not like I am coping with housework etc.

Now I only cry when baby cries - is like a knife in my heart. Ridiculous...

Onwards!

It's incredibly normal. Positive side - you have too much milk; I would have been so grateful for it! You also sound like your ebf/bf is going to go well and your nipples aren't shredded.

Ask your HV if there are any baby massage courses in your area - their tummy moves really helped my DD poo regularly and happily. Green poo is often a sign of insufficient lactase to digest lactose; consider Colief if it gets very bad. Lactose that gets to the lower bowel produces gas that is very painful, so you get lots of wincing and squirming and screaming from your baby. Not like wind in the tummy after feeds - the gas is produced in situ. Colief is pricey though.

Summary of massage:

1. Holding legs, push knees up into tummy then extend legs & repeat, with a sort of rocking rhythm.
2. Hold feet together with one hand, cup over top with other and let knees splay; move the lower half of the baby from side to side.
3. Clockwise circles around tummy button (moving poo through gut).
4. Holding feet with one hand and pulling legs/bottom up a bit, scoop downwards with the side of your palm under the belly button (moving poo down rectum).

About 10 reps for all; repeat daily and it should help the gut cope/develop in time.

Hey I cried today an my baby is 11 weeks. To my mind it's better out than in! With your oversupply/spluttering baby and wind I can recommend a position. Lie on your back with a pillow supporting our head. Lie baby on their tummy across your body just below your boobs. If baby's body is v shaped it really helps with bottom burps! ALso the milk has to go kind of upwards so it can help the choking. Added bonus is I often fall asleep while feeding!

Don't panic, it gets better!

I remember DH finding me, feeding DS and sobbing for my mum one evening soon after DS was born. Mum came up the next day, when typically I felt better. It's all those bastard hormones, I promise.

Also, I can identify with the evenings being bad. I used to fear the loooooong nights, and feel way more weepy. Think it was a combination of exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed at having so much responsibility. I always felt a lot more 'alone' at night. It does get better!

Well today is not a good day... Yesterday was brilliant until midday until she just fed and fed and fed until evening then cried until midnight. Then waking every hour and a half and now she has passed out (it seems), full of milk and exhaustion.

It's after lunchtime where I am, my scar hurts, anxiety is rising and I am SO tired.

What counts as feeling bad enough to consider upping the ADs? I tend to be worry a lot about sliding back into depression and right now I cry all the time...

Hi ophelia - I have suffered depression in the past and when my 3rd baby (now 4 months) was 12 weeks I realized baby blues had turned into PND. What is more ridiculous than crying when your baby does (quite normal) is crying when reading your thread (me!).

I decided not to do ADs for a bit. I'm in a support group and waiting for a referral for CBT. Biggest thing I can say is be kind to yourself and find time every day for self care - be that a warm, uninterrupted bath, a walk, a cup of tea and a book. Prioritise your self care just below baby care but above housework etc. You are way more important than laundry. Make sure you really do sleep when you can - exhaustion is probably 90% of the problem.

Just take each day one at a time, spend precious time smuggling with your baby and remember you need nurturing too. Can your DP support you through this?

I have no family within 4,000 miles apart
from DH and DC so know how isolated and overwhelmed that can make you feel.

You will get through this, don't be afraid.

Snuggling not smuggling!

Jnice your post made me cry too!

I honestly feel like my face will not stop leaking...

Scared I will have to stop breast feeding because of increased ADs, scared I will go insane through the sheer levels of anxiety I am having right now, scared of never being able to stop crying.

DH is coming with me to the dr tomorrow. I have such a complicated history of hormonally responsive depression I should have seen this coming! No idea why I did not Maybe because I felt OK during pregnancy.

Sorry you too feel bad