Exclusively breastfeeding beyond 6 months - curious questions if you don't mind answering?

[GodisaDj]

Hi there,

My first thread that I've started so hope you are all nice so nervous about response. My dd was 6 months old recently and I'm just a wee bit proud I've exclusively bf'd up to now, especially as I had a few problems at the beginning (tongue tie, mastitis and then retained placenta which had to be manually removed on the day surgery ward).

I have no intention of stopping just because I've reached "6 months" but I've had people ask me this already eg "well you're at 6 months now, you can switch to formula.."

None of my close friends reached 6 months (although I have met new ones through a bf baby group who plan on carrying on past 6 months) but I personally don't see other mums bf'ing beyond 6 months unless at my baby group.

So, where I live, a population of 400,000 people and approx 200,00 women (Wikipedia!) I know of several baby groups run by the nhs bf support team, with about 20-30 people attending each one but say about a quarter bf'ing beyond 6 months; that doesn't seem a lot of people does it?

If you are breatfeeding or have breastfed your children, I'm curious:

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?
2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?
3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?
4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?
5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.

For the record, this isn't a study or anything, I'm just genuinely curious as I want to carry on bf'ing my dd but feel I'm "on my own" and in a minority I suppose

Hi ds (now 3) never had formula. I bf him until he was around 14 months, and slowly dropped a feed at a time changing those to a cup and water or cows milk. I know people continue beyond 14 months but by then I was just doing an evening feed and DS decided he didn't want it. So in a sense I bf til DS decided to stop.

For quite a while towards the end it was just the evening feed which was good because he was so easily distracted.

For a long while I did the rugby ball hold because if cs healing poorly but around about six months I changed to front hold and that was much easier. I did find while I had to keep his body facing mine he required slightly less manipulation. On the downside as they get holder they get less happy about being a book rest during feeds and want to look at the book!

Tbh DS wouldn't take a bottle so he very much decided to bf and when to stop. I didn't find bf was the best thing for my back so it was a bit of a pain when out so I tended to plan where I would do feeds in order to ensure good back support. This probably placed me out if public view as a dude effect and maybe because of that I only had positive comments from people.

I am still feeding my 15 monto old twins, though not exclusively - they have solid food now too! I also use formula milk on cereal instead of cows milk because I think it has extra goodies in it over cows mill (obv not over breast milk, but I font have time to express enough for cereal).

I didn't (and don't) have a plan for stopping. I think if you'd asked the pregnant me whether I'd still be feeding two walking toddlers I'd have laughed. But they don't suddenly become too old for Breastfeeding - they're only one day older than yesterday, and they fed yesterday, so I carry on. I expect they'll either self wean, I'll suddenly decide I've had enough or they'll be an event that triggers stopping. Don't know really.

I've only really had positive reactions to my feeding, except the odd glare from middle aged women in cafes. I've had a few HCP offer advice on how to stop, though they offer the advice interspersed with the assertion that carrying on is a good thing! Very easy to see that they think I should stop but guidelines say they can't tell me to stop.

I think you just have to do what you think is best for your family at the time. I druggies for the first 8 or 9 weeks, but it's been a dream since. I get tired, and I wonder if my babies would sleep through if I stopped Breastfeeding on demand all night, but then every night I do it again because at the time, it feels like the best thing to do. Maybe one day that'll change.

Now I am back at work (went back when babies were 12 months), they don't breastfeed in the day. The nursery/my mum offer cows milk/water in a sippy cup, but try dint drink much and then tank up overnight! I think if I decide to stop feeding all night, I'll have to really pester them to take more cows milk in the day or they won't get enough fluids. But that's a puzzle for another day!

I forgot about positions! We go with whatever works at the time - normally cradle hold during day but lying down if I'm anywhere near a bed! I haven't really found that size changes anything position wise.

I bf my last child until he was 2.5 - he had had surgery at 2 and lost a lot of blood having his adenoids removed so continuing bf seemed like a good idea.

For me, the only downside was the way he would pull up my top and shout, "Boobie milk!"

My top tip is to tuck your top in very firmly and refer to bf by words you are happy to have shouted out in company.

As someone who never got past 6 weeks due to paranoia that the babies would be sick if I did (no happy BF memories for me) keep going as long as you and your baby want to. Tell everyone else to bugger off!!

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?

DS is 9 months old and I am considering stopping because his sleep is shockingly, horrendously bad and I am having trouble functioning and hate how grumpy and over emotional I'm being with my older children. r!

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?

See 1) :) There is nothing hard about BFing him in itself and it is lovely to be able to comfort him quickly, not have to fuss with bottles etc. but over and above everything I need a few stretches of sleep of longer than an hour, and atm he wakes hourly and wants to feed every single time.

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?

Don't think the position has changed, I've always prefered the simple cradle hold and that still works fine, it is very easy in fact, just his legs stick out a long way!

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?

We live in a rural part of Bavaria, Southern Germany. Here I have only met 2 mums who didn't BF at all (and both tried and feel they have to explain what they didn't succeed if BF ever comes up in conversation, so it is very strongly the norm, people also happily feed small babies here there and everywhere and nobody ever comments) but at the same time I have only met one mum who BF to a year, and she stopped then - people don't BF toddlers. Most people don't know I am still BFing, not that I hide it but I tend not to feed in public any more - DS is big for his age and wriggly too, and anyway goes up to 4 hours in the day between feeds. The fellow mums who I have mentioned it to raise eyebrows but they think I am a nutcase anyway and that this is just another of my English Eccentricities - they never say anything negative, just seem to think it is a little odd! My paediatrician (all kids here have a paediatrician, like in America) is very excitable about me still BFing and never fails to check whether I am and tell me how good it is and list all his pet favourite benefits, his top favourite being that it reduces the chance of ear infection. The kids don't see any other health care professionals and I haven't been to a doc since my 6 week check so nobody is interested in me stopping for my own sake lol.

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.

I haven't really had any, just people possibly thinking I am a mad English woman, which is a reaction i get daily anyway so I am used to :)

Hope I haven't put you off, I am very, very sleep deprived but I don't think my DS's night time BF mania is actually typical, it is just driving me to destraction now, mainly because I have the older 2 to think of too.

I'm still feeding DS at 21 months- way beyond what we planned (had sort of assumed/hoped he'd gradually self-wean when we introduced cows' milk at 12 months), but he really loves his "Me More", so it's just carried on, really. Will continue until he self-weans (doubt it) or something forces the issue, e.g. if I get pregnant again and my nips get too sore. Or he leaves to go to Uni.

Positions- I still feed lying down sometimes, but mostly just let myself get comfy in a chair and he gets comfy too and we have a nice old cuddle, until he gives the command "Other One", whereupon we swap over. He's enormous btw, but it's still just wonderful.

I've had a few friends who clearly think I'm bonkers, but they don't harp on the subject so I just let it go over my head. I've never had a single negative comment or funny look from strangers and I've fed him in public an awful lot. I have a number of killer retorts ready prepared, but never had occasion to use any of them!

Ds had formula at nursery during the day from eight months but I continued to bf morning and evening (and at night a fair bit too) until he was nearly two. I was a big mean and made him go cold turkey at that point because he was starting to feed more, not less and had reached the point where he spent most of the night attached to my nipple.

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?
   I am still bf my DS who is 15mo. He has never had formula and drinks only a little cows milk from a cup. He has 2 or 3 feeds in 24 hours. I don't have a plan to stop, that is I will feed until he decides to stop or it becomes a problem, I have no set date in mind. I am keen to feed until at least 2yo.

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?
   My reasons for stopping will be that he no longer wants to bf.

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?
   I actually find it easier physically feeding now as we usually feed lying down in bed which I could never manage when he was smaller. I rarely feed when out and about, only because he doesn't want milk then, no other reason.

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?
   I work in a hospital and a few times my DS has cropped up in conversation with elderly ladies who have all asked "did you feed him yourself?" when I reply that I still am I have had lots of "thats wonderful, well done you, how fabulous" responses.
   No direct negative experiences, I do think my work colleagues think I am a bit of a hippy, but then ff is the norm where I work and so someone successfully bf AT ALL, never mind beyond 6mo is a bit of an oddity. They are curious about it though, not directly negative like I said. But that may have more to do with how I tackle it - confident and unapologetic - rather than trying to hide it.

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.
   See above. For the most part other ppl couldnt give a monkeys what you do. If you are confident and knowledgable about your decision to continue bf then there really isn't anything anyone can say. If you are trying to hide it away and be defensive about it I guess it would be easier for people to 'attack' your decision.

Congratulations on reaching 6m of bf. Keep going until you feel you want to stop. I regularly see 10 other mums from our local bf group (we left when our babies were 6mo - NHS thing), and all but 2 of us are still feeding. However, I now rarely see anyone actually feeding, up until the babies were about 1yo or so it was totally normal to see one or other of us feeding, usually while shovelling cake into our faces in a cafe, but now most of the babies only feed twice a day and so its never 'milktime' when we meet.

Should have mentioned that DS has been away from me for 4 days a week (10 hours a day) since 9mo and manages fine with a little cows milk/water. Will also go to bed fine with no milk if I am out in the evening (lucky, I know).

I fed my ds till he was 23 months when he self weaned. He never had formula, but happily took a bottle of EBM. I loved feeding him, and he loved it too.
Some people were judgy about it, but things like when his chest consultant said he reckoned it was being breastfed that had kept him out of hospital, I knew we were right

If you are breastfeeding or have breastfed your children, I'm curious:

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?

I stopped feeding DS at 16mo, when he self weaned when I was about 4 months pregnant with DD.

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?

It is quite common for milk supply to drop in pregnancy, but we would have carried on if he'd wanted to have done so.

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?

Much easier to hold them, because he could get himself into a better position more easily.

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?

*I don't think I had any particularly memorable experiences. When I was pregnant with DD, some people were surprised that I was still feeding DS, but their comments weren't negative, just interested.

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.

I've had NO negative experiences!

My baby is only 5months.... but i have no intention of stopping at 6m!!!

I intend to let her self wean as and when but will be sad when she does.
Althernively i will have another HG pregnancy and be forced to stop when i take anti-sickness tabs, but that is definitely not planned for a few months either.

In my NCT group of 10, 6 of us are EBF, 2 combination feed, and as far as i know , not 1 of us plans to stop BF-ing and switch to formula in a few weeks time.

(My grandmother has asked me when i plan to stop and is horrified that I dont as she doesnt like to see older babies BF-ing Told her WHO advise not giving any other milk until 2 years, but she doesnt even believe me, and doesnt think its right lol)

I fed DD1 until she was 23 months, currently still feeding DD2, 8 months old. My intention is to stop at some point between 18months and 2 years, but we'll see how it goes.

DD1 by the time we stopped I was only feeding her once a day just before bed. We moved her out of her cot into a bed, and it seemed a good time to make a clean break. To be honest I'd started feeling quite irritated by feeding her, if that's the right word, anyway, I just wasn't enjoying it at all the last couple of weeks, and so it felt like it was time to stop.

I didn't find positions changed at all with DD1. DD2 I feed lying down at night, which I didn't with DD1 and I find it much easier to cope with the night feeds that way.

Experiences - I remember feeding DD1 in the feeding room at John Lewis when she was about 9 months old (not sure why I went in there, I would usually just go to a cafe). All the other breastfeeding mums in there with much younger babies were openly highly curious and had obviously never encountered anyone feeding such an old baby(!) They asked LOADS of questions.
I was also told by a Health Visitor (who specialised in infant nutrition) at DD1's 1 year check, that I should stop breastfeeding her, that she'd never met anyone who breastfed a 1 year old before and she would be much better of drinking cows milk from a cup.
I ignored her advice

My only advice is go with the flow and do what you and your child feel comfortable with.
DD said she'd give up BF when she started school, she didn't.
I was lucky no one said anything and I had friends who BF unto that sort of age.
I found that as DD got bigger and stronger she would position herself. Fortunately she also worked out how not to bite.
I don't think I feed her in public after she was about 18 months old because she got too long. You need to be in bed or on the sofa to have somewhere for the legs!
Don't worry, most DCs aren't as determined as DD and will self ween at a sensible age.

I'm LOVING all your responses, it's reassuring and will definitely taking up the hints and tips. I have 18 months in my head but like the idea I'd a natural end, dd self weaning.

I can't respond to each of you as on my phone and can't go back to see what you said, but someone put about confidence think this is a big part of it because it isn't the norm as such. So being proud of breastfeeding, rather than hiding it. Not that I plan to flash boobs at every opportunity but discussing it if people ask. Thanx to the MNer who put that.

And someone mentioned how people are curious rather than negative. I have experienced that too. Again, it's lovely when people want to talk about it.

There seems to be a reoccurring theme here as a couple of you mention that you're perceived as a 'mad woman'... Hmmm, and the couple of people I do know who are nursing toddlers have said the same too! Oh well I can live with that title. It's better than being a cow / bitch / boring / or bad mother etc isn't it

Keep them coming, fab experiences

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?
   Erm, still feeding 1x day at 2y5m. Planned to stop at 2y but it's so damned convenient not to have to go downstairs at 5am for bottle-milkie.

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?
   Fed up with sharing my body. That's the reason I stopped with all of them (14 mo, 18 mo, 24mo and still going). I'm acutely aware that this child is my last and am less bothered by her reluctance to stop tbh.

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?
   Bloody wriggling! And it hurts more when they suddenly start thinking about something and accidentally lose focus and bite you. Also they can basically help themselves beyond 1yo which can lead to some hilarious situations.

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?

Haven't really had either afaicr.

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.

N/a but would just ignore.

all my three girls have never had formula

they weaned themselves at varying ages

two of them for longer than people find ok

as they got older positions and stuff just came naturally

once they were over 12 months I allowed cows milk aswell

I went back to work full time, including a round-trip 36 hour commute, when DS was 6 months old. I kept BF until he was 15 months old. It was awesome, though I have to admit the multiple expressing sessions (including on the train) got tiresome after a while. But it was still easier than sterilising and preparing formula.

Absolutely no reason to move over to formula at 6 months; BF to 12 months and then you can keep going or switch straight to cow's milk.

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?

Both still going strong, DD1 is 3.4yo, DD2 is 11 mo.

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?

Planning to let them both self-wean.

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?

Definitely find things easier post 6-months. They know what they're doing by then

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?

All positive! I find breastfeeding totally invaluable as a parenting tool. Tantrums, meltdowns, fears etc all fixed by a quick BF.

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.

I don't think I've really had any. My grannie has made a few hints about weaning, but in an affectionate way. Most people just seem curious, no-one has ever said outright to my face that it's wrong and I should stop.

I found going to LLL helped me feel normal, I know lots of other mums now that are BF toddlers.

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?

I thought I would stop at 6 months - that was my goal, and when things were no easier at 3 months I never thought I'd make it. But it just got easier at some point and we're still going at 6.5 months. My new goal is 1 year, am going back to work in 6 weeks - going to try to express during the day and feed him in the morning and night. Will see how that goes. Hoping he'll be sleeping longer than 2/3 hours in a row by then... I am not sure when I want to stop stop though... It seems I'm more attached to it than I ever thought I would be.

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?

Hopefully he will be the one who decides when we stop, but it depends on how things go when I'm back at work :(

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?

Have always used the cross-cradle (teeny baby) or cradle hold (from a couple of months on), or a bit of biological nurturing in the early-ish days. I never have got the hang of feeding laying down. Positioning him has got so much easier as he has grown and we both know what we're doing!

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?

Nothing negative at all really. Lots of positives from family. One friend thinks it's a bit weird to carry on and that it's more for the mum than the baby, but that's about it.

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.

N/A

1)when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?

DS is 21months old and is still b/f. I have said to DP that i will stop at 2 yrs but I may not - I do have to go away for up to a week before this so this might bring it forward.
he does have other milk- formula/cow's and goats

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?

I am starting to think he is too big - I am a little embarrassed to feed in public- especially as he yells boobie very loudly. I'd also like to start wearing underwired bras
3) if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?

I am not sure to be honest - it is very easy now and I can't remember when that changed - he has always been in cradle position and will lie down next to me as well.

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?

I have loved it- it still makes me feel incredibly close to DS- I can always comfort him - he has been ill and the only thing he will have is bf and it is reassuring to know that he is getting some nutrition- it has made travelling easier. It is such an easy option to send him to sleep get him to relax etc

but - he has never been a good sleeper and I'm not sure how much b/f impacts this. It can be frustrating when all ds seems to want from me is boobie- makes it difficult just to comfort him sometimes

My 3 dcs never had formula. I fed my first two dcs to 12 months and my third to 14 months. I stopped because they were eating large amounts of food by a year. Between 6 months and 12 months I gradually reduced or dropped a feed when my dcs started to eat significant amounts of food at each "meal time". E.g. I would offer my dc bread / veg / water for lunch, then afterwards I would BF. Gradually they would eat more real food and less milk until I stopped offering the milk. I also stopped because I wanted to get pregnant again and I didn't start ovulating again until I had virtually stopped breastfeeding.

Feeding a bigger baby was just as easy as feeding a young one, if not easier. They know what to do.

I never had any negative comments. Virtually everyone I know / knew breast fed their babies and a huge number continued until their babies were at least a year. I know a fair number who have continued to feed their babies to toddlerdom.

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?

Self-weaning for DD1 (3.6y) and plan to let DD2 & DD3 self wean too (they are 4.2y & 2.3y). The next baby will (hopefully!) be ebf to 6m and then self-weaned too.

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?

If my children still need to nurse and they are still able to, why should I stop them? The health benefits don't stop just because they are X age and the risks keep lowering for me the longer I do it

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?

They change how they attach, they get too big to do the classic 'tummy to mummy' type of attachment and they find what works for them.

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?
   I have had some horrible experiences with HCP but then in my town initiation rates are about 40% so it's not well known to bf let alone to self weaning age! Plus some people are excessively Freudian in their outlook....

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.
   Pretty much cried - I have no spine or ability to defend myself from HCP so just crumble, though I have got better over the years (nearly 6y bfing now) and have even argued with (junior) Drs about abstention from bfing due to meds.

Gave up worrying about meds for mummy or the occasional drink once she got to 2.5 or so. Comes a point when they BF only once or twice a day and weigh so much that the amount they get isn't a problem with every day things.