Exclusively breastfeeding beyond 6 months - curious questions if you don't mind answering?

[GodisaDj]

Hi there,

My first thread that I've started so hope you are all nice so nervous about response. My dd was 6 months old recently and I'm just a wee bit proud I've exclusively bf'd up to now, especially as I had a few problems at the beginning (tongue tie, mastitis and then retained placenta which had to be manually removed on the day surgery ward).

I have no intention of stopping just because I've reached "6 months" but I've had people ask me this already eg "well you're at 6 months now, you can switch to formula.."

None of my close friends reached 6 months (although I have met new ones through a bf baby group who plan on carrying on past 6 months) but I personally don't see other mums bf'ing beyond 6 months unless at my baby group.

So, where I live, a population of 400,000 people and approx 200,00 women (Wikipedia!) I know of several baby groups run by the nhs bf support team, with about 20-30 people attending each one but say about a quarter bf'ing beyond 6 months; that doesn't seem a lot of people does it?

If you are breatfeeding or have breastfed your children, I'm curious:

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?
2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?
3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?
4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?
5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.

For the record, this isn't a study or anything, I'm just genuinely curious as I want to carry on bf'ing my dd but feel I'm "on my own" and in a minority I suppose

This was when DD3 was 6m and just on BM (and formula while I was ill with pancreatitis) as she was ill herself. I needed to now the right answer not an 'I'll check the BNF' answer (BNF said 24hrs and Hale's M&MM said 4hrs) as she was coming in to bf.

It is quite shocking how little some HCP know about bfing (or indeed how drugs might get into BM).

If you are breatfeeding or have breastfed your children, I'm curious:

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop? When babies were 1 yr old
2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think? Cow's milk now fine, break for me, they started walking and it seemed odd to me to feed a walking person. Odd but honest reason
3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)? no change
4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months? positive from others who have done it too ~ very supportive. negative from very few, but mainly those who gave up BFing or couldn't BF for long
5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences. little response from me as I didn't feel I needed to justify it to anyone. "cheaper and more convenient" worked every time if I did respond

Sorry for lazy copy/paste response, my keyboard is missing loads of keys and it annoys me!

1) when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?
I stopped at around 17 months.
2) What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?
Just because she wasn't fussed and I am pregnant, it had become quite painful. She only fed morning and evening, and she never asked, it was always me offering. I just decided not to offer any more, and she never asked!
3) if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?
I found it easier in many respects, she was sturdier so easier to flip into position and could manouevre herself/hold her head etc etc. She was heavier though, obviously, so I had to prop my arm up sometimes!
4) what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?
No negative experiences. I never had any looks, or comments etc. Bar a few friends expressing surprise that I was 'still' going, asking when I would stop, why was I still feeding etc. The sort of questions that would be deemed 'judgemental' if I has asked them of a formula feeder but not really meant nastily.
Positive, well my family always said they were proud I was doing it, DH was fully supportive.
5) And how have u responded to the negative experiences.
I never really had any, but to friends (as per previous answer) I would just answer honestly.

DD never had formula, she went straight onto full fat cow's milk. Funnily enough I went to get DD weighed last week, she hadn't been done since she was about 13, 14 months. The HV asked if I was still feeding her (the notes said I was last time) as I said that I wasn't, she was on cow's milk. Her response? "Well, I bet she's glad to be on the full fat stuff at last" !!

I told DH, we both laughed at the concept that the substance that had got her from the teeny little 7 pounder that she came into the world as right up to the hulking great toddler that she is now could be anything but full fat!!

DD is 9 months old. She was breastfed until December when I started introducing one feed a day of formula in a cup to get her ready for being with other people and me going back to work. She is still breastfed for all her other feeds.

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop? I will probably have to stop in the next few weeks, because it is unlikely that it will work with my shift patterns. I will be out of the house for 14hrs on work days, will have to do nightshifts, sometimes won't even see DD for nearly 24hrs and can't express. I will give it my best shot to keep it going for as long as possible though. I would love to keep breastfeeding until she is at least one but don't think I can.
2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think? see above
3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)? It depends. Sometimes she feeds in the same kind of position as she did when she was tiny, sometimes she is more sitting up. Long feeds do sometimes make my arm ache.
4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months? None really. I haven't noticed any negatives looks when we are out, and I don't really talk to many people about still breastfeeding. My mum has said about having to stop soon, but I'm not sure if she is making a point about breastfeeding too long or just being realistic about not being able to do it and go to work. Even my in-laws have stopped going on about it, and they were anti-breastfeeding in the early days (because it meant they couldn't feed her and she couldn't stay the night at their house at 6 weeks old which is what they wanted!). My HV did look amazed that I was still breastfeeding at 6 months and told me that I would have to stop breastfeeding soon, as "she will have teeth soon and you can't breastfeed when they have teeth." I also had to take her to A&E twice in December for different reasons, and the nurses and doctors there seemed confused and amazed that she didn't have formula.
5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences I have just been amused by the HCP's responses and thankful that I know from MN that of course it is possible to breastfeed a baby with teeth. I have just ignored anyone else.

(1/2) I plan to stop either when DS self-weans, when I get fed up of bf'ing, or when DH thinks I should stop (which is probably the most likely). DS currently feeds often (min 6 times a day, usually more, plus some at night) and is age 2.1.

(3) I still use the cradle hold, or a variation on it. I bf lying down a lot too.

(4) BF after 6 months is much easier than the difficulties of stopping! It's the solution to tantrums, pain, illness, refusing to sleep, wanting comfort, being frightened and just being stroppy. It's been the best parenting tool I could have had.

(5) I've had a few comments along the lines of 'when are you going to stop?' but I just say it works for us, or point out that DS's eczema / allergies and general state of health would probably be worse once I do stop. I'm sure lots of people think I'm the local madwoman (DS feeds in public a LOT) but I don't really mind. If I feel twitchy, I give people a smile and I do often get people smiling at me.

I do things differently from the majority of people I know though (I did BLW, didn't give solids before 6 months, co-sleep etc) so I just relish my 'slightly odd' reputation and realise that even if I weren't bf'ing, people would still think I was weird.

You would be surprised how many older babies / toddlers are bf though. I'm the only person I know (outside of my attachment-parenting group) who bf's a 12 month + child in public, but I worked out that almost 50% of the 1-2 year olds I knew were bf: you just didn't see it in public.

Agree with the advice to call it by a name you don't mind having shouted across the supermarket.

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?
   Am still bf'ing DD who is 17 months old - not exclusively though, we were giving formula at night but more recently have moved onto warm full fat cows milk.

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?
   Probably won't stop until she loses interest. I do find it is sometimes a bit of a faff / annoying - she has on occasion not realized what she was doing and given me a bit of a bite, and has picked up a really annoying habit of nipple-tweaking (though to be fair when I trim her nails it is much more bearable, so there is something I can do to make it less annoying). But being able to soothe her if she's in pain, and getting her to sleep reasonably easily, is worth that annoyance. She is also very healthy and the illnesses she has got have generally slid off pretty easily (very mild chickenpox, pretty mild colds).

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?
   Bigger babies have got more strength and bigger mouths etc - I'm sure that the improvement in bf'ing that I saw at around 3 or 4 months was down to that. Other than that, as commented above I did find that it became easier to feed while lying down. She did start pulling at my top and making it visibly clear that she wanted a feed a few months ago, which makes it a bit more potentially embarassing, but then as she is feeding much less often then that evens out.

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?
   The reason I continued initially was because at 4 or 5 months I could see weaning coming up but I felt like I'd only really just got comfortable with it. And then it wasn't causing me any problems and was making other things easier, like comforting her when needed. I haven't really had any negative experiences when out and about. What we did do was move to giving her formula overnight just around the time that she was a year old - this was partly because we were TTC number 2 (successful - just had my 12 week scan) and partly so that DP could experience the joys of night-time waking! Now she's pretty much stopped having formula overnight as she's happy with the warmed cows milk.

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.
   With self-righteousness! No, not really, because I haven't had any really, but it would be with some mixture of self-righteousness and gentle words like 'cheaper and more convenient'.

Everyone gas said pretty much what I was going to sat. I still bf my 21mo dd.
Never intended to go so long but someone above hit the nail on the head, they are only one day older than yesterday.

No probs with biting or position, a toddler positions themselves, and knows not to bite after you've yelped a few times.

As for negative comments, I say its human milk, made especially for small humans. Why would I give her anything else if that's what we choose also quote who guidelines.

My big bit of advice, be careful what you call nursing, via they will shout it urgently at you at inopportune moments. We went with a nonsense word, which works for us. Only me, dd and daddy know what she is on about, and if we are out and about I can just say later and she understands.

Hi
Like others really, probably all been said! But, feel so happy feeding that thought I'd add to the thread too!!!
Bf little girl for 15 months, she became less interested around that age, I was quite upset as would have fed for a bit longer just at night time routine really.
Bfing my son still, he's 7 months now. Loving feeding still. Am still in awe of how our milk makes them grow!!!!
No plans as yet to stop, will do like first little one, but prob as a boy he'll want to go longer! X

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?
   BF DD until she started biting me and drawing blood repeatedly at 15 months

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?
   Stopped as neither of us were really enjoying it and my supply was dipping. I'd gone back to work f/t at 6 months and expressed three times a day til 11 months when she started having the occasional bottle of formula in the day when I was struggling to express enough (supply for expressing dipped a lot by this point) we started giving cow's milk for odd drink sin the day at 12 months and then she decided she wanted "ottle" at bedtime most nights not BF from about 13/14 months. I still did overnight and early morning feeds til 15 months

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?
   No real issues. as she was more sistractable we fed in a quiet place more ofetn I suppose

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?
   Was a bit stressful if away with work overnight or on a conference to have to set up expressing facilities/milk storage but apart from that no issues at all. I worried a lot that my friends who had stopped BFing might feel judged by the fact I was still feeding

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.
   n/a

Pretty much exactly the same as BartletforAmerica

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop? When i was pregnant and was asked when do you think you will BF to I answered with a chuckle "when they get teeth" but actually in hindsight that's nonsense as their teeth dont get in the way at all and my son started getting his teeth in at 2 months I carried on happily BF until he was 18 months. I am now BF our 9 month old and plan to go up to about 18mths-2years or if she wants to stop before that.
2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think? I stopped at 18 months with my son because it was getting too darn sore to BF and be 6 months pregnant
3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)? They just position themselves pretty much, you find your groove and that just makes us all content. My son towards the end used to BF sat on my lap or standing!
4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months? Being heavily pregnant and BF a toddler was hard going. My MIL and Dad were just agast that I would even consider beyond 3 months. It just didn't seem right to give them formula when i had a good thing going with BF.
5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences. With the ouchy BF when pregnant I just asked son if it was ok not to have mama milk he seemed to understand and only asked once since but there wasn't a fuss. I ignore the MIL and my Dad on this topic.

1. stopped at 11 months for both wanted to do it until 12 months
2. biting (happened with both) although I could have continued as I think you just need to change the latch I was ready
3. not really just adjust as you go also as they get old it was less frequent feeds (well for me)
4. very positive had a group of friends who did the same and some for longer. My family very supportive. Not sure what MIL thought but she didn't offer her opinion
5. didn't have any

1) when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop? Still feeding DS at 12 months - my original goal was 6-9 months before I discovered milk should be the main source of nutrition until a year. It was such a struggle to begin with that I just want to make the most of it for now.

2) What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think? Depends on DS really, I see us continuing to roughly 18 months but will let him decide unless there's some major reason I want to put a stop to it sooner

3) if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)? DEFINITELY more distracted now, I can't feed in public any more because he just latches and unlatches 2 seconds later to look at everything! I end up exposed. Much more fidgety now but has always been to some extent. Cuddles me now which is lovely. Signs 'milk' whilst feeding - he likes me to say it as he signs, very cute. Obviously heavier now but also holds own weight better. I've also found I've dropped any preconceived ideas of what's 'normal' - I think nothing of feeding mid-play or with a boon over the side of the bath. I think it's OK to adapt the way you feed but would insist on nursing 'manners' when out and about

4) what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months? Pretty much just funny looks when people discover I'm still breastfeeding and comments like 'well realistically he'll self-wean soon won't he?'

5) And how have u responded to the negative experiences? I smile and pretend I haven't noticed the looks (it could just be me after all) - I take great pride in telling people "actually it's rare for a child to self-wean under the age of about 3" I don't plan on feeding that long but with so many great benefits I fail to see how 'extended' breastfeeding can be a bad thing.

Well done on making it to 6 months, especially with the rocky start. Hope you continue for many more!

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?

Can't remember what the plan was, 2ish for dd? I fed until she was nearly 3. Ds self-weaned at 4.

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think? dd- I was pregnant, limited feeds and she weaned. ds self-weaned. I had imposed limits though.

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?

Yes, changed constantly. Toddler acrobatics!

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months? None really - occasional funny look maybe. Stopped public feeding at 2ish.

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.

Stared them out

My DS will be six months in two weeks. He's never had formula and I have no plans to introduce any. I should imagine we'll feed up to a year or thereabouts. It's not been easy. Well, the technical side has been easy, but he's reflux-y and has food sensitivities. Why will I stop? Because I miss dairy, soy, wine, kombucha tea...and a thousand other foodstuffs that are currently verboten!

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?

DD1 23 months, DD2 (expected shortly) probably longer as will be SAHM

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think? Lack of sleep (DD still waking in night lots), wanting to have another baby.

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)? Easier in parts as they latch on by themselves and feed for less time, but the distracted stage when they pull away to look at everything can leave you a little sore at times. Great as soother for teething child, but you do get bad nights where they feed like a newborn for comfort. Need more back support as they are heavier.

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months? I was lucky and had no negative comments, but think people close to me knew better if they had a negative opinion to keep it to themselves!

Positive experiences, when DD had D&V at 20 months and didn't eat for 5 days she increased feeds to newborn frequency and was perfectly hydrated despite not drinking fluid other than breastmilk.

Negative, trying to express at work enough for feeds in the early days, but that soon passed once she started eating more food. Teething feeding and lack of sleep.

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences. Mantra: It will pass!

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop? DS is 19 months and I am still bf'ing him but only at 8pm when he goes to bed. I haven't got that much milk really but its a nice bonding time for us and calms him down and off to sleep. We've gradually cut back from 15 mins to about 5 mins now and then sleep.
2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think? I was starting to get very 'over' bf'ing when he hit 18 months and I was suddenly ready to stop. Up til then I'd been happy to take his lead - anyway, I was really stressed that he would still be on the boob at 3 years old because he was a total addict and would pull at my top all day etc but literally 2 weeks ago he just stopped asking for it and its been the easiest weaning experience I could imagine. Maybe he sensed I was over it?!
3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)? Have always fed lying or just sitting with him across my lap. Never had a problem really with position.
4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months? Every family member and friend (bar one or two) were asking when I would stop with MIL and my mum pressuring me to stop from about 9 months. I told them all piss off and that I would stop when I wanted to. I ended up getting quite short with them all after about 12 months.
5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences. I suppose I'm quite assertive anyway and didn't feel it was anyone elses business but mine and DS. I have always fed discreetly in public (on planes, ferries, trains, restaurants, cafe's etc) but never made a big deal out of it and mostly people never noticed. I have to say, being able to immediately calm and soothe DS by bf'ing when he was jetlagged or tired or sick has been a bloody saviour and saved us all from sleepless nights when my friends who rely on dummies or bottles were at their wits end!

Some fabulous experiences, hints and tips. Thank you for posting.

I'm annoyed again as another family member has put forward her pennies worth on breastfeeding; how dd should not be waking up at night and that I need to "sort that out" so that she "sleeps through". She then stated all of her kids slept through by 6 months from 11pm-6am.... I nearly screamed something very judgemental about formula fed babies but refrained from doing so as I would be as bad as her then wouldn't I? I j responded with "how would you suggest I change her night time routine for her to sleep through" and she just gave a nervous laugh

Oh I need to grow some balls dont I, it just pisses me off people think they have a right to tell you have to raise your child. Rant over!

1. I plan to stop when she wants to. She is 14 mo
2. See answer to 1) or what TruthSweet said.
3. Position has changed a bit, but she is asleep on my lap in the cradlehold at the moment.
4. I haven't had any negative experience, but I've had one v. positive one recently. I was in the library bfing and a man, abt 50 or so, noted what I was doing and gave me a big approving smile.
5. I think I would respond to negativity by thinking the person expressing it was a bit ignorant.

Gosh GodisaDj you post is almost exactly what I was experiencing with DC1 at that age. Could have written it myself about 7 years ago. If you'd added that the City has one of the lowest bfing rates in Europe then it could be the same place.

Anyway to answer your questions:

If you are breatfeeding or have breastfed your children, I'm curious:

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?

Fed them both till they were about 2.8. Only intended to feed DC1 till 6 months but by then it was so easy and formula seemed such a faff I couldn't see the point of swapping.

2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think?

I was pregnant, didn't fancy tandem feeding and my boobs were really painful.

3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)?

Well it did change as they got bigger, but you sort of figure it out for yourselves as you go along .

4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months?

Never had a negative comment on bfing in public, had a few from the family but who cares what they think . On the positive side you know they are getting the best thing for them, its a great way to calm them or get them to sleep and a lovely way to reconnect if you've been at work all day.

5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences.

"oh that's really interesting" "the World Health Organisation recommend Bfing for a minimum of 2 years" "well, it works for us as a family" or just play Bfing Bingo .

still feeding my 16mo twins

We only feed at home, so negative comments only from DP who keeps asking when/how I am going to wean them. I say "not yet!".

Positions: since he could stand ds2 prefers to stand on the floor while I sit on a sofa a little bent forward. Works ok for dd too. Otherwise I sit on the floor and they kneel next to me, but kneeling often turns into headstands .

ds1 stopped around 15 months, partly as a result of me doing "don't offer, don't refuse". I sometimes wish these would do the same, with an idea they might sleep for longer at night. But they show no signs of feeding less, and then at night it's the easiest way to get them (and hence me) back to sleep.

In the early months I hated feeding twins. It's not generally lovely now, but rarely horrible, mostly ok, sometimes lovely. I'm still feeding them because stopping would be harder than not stopping, and because I always regretted with ds1 (who I loved feeding) that we didn't keep going a bit longer.

Good for you, it sounds like you're doing brilliantly, and you have every reason to be proud! My answers are:

1. when do you plan to stop bf'ing? Or when did you stop?
2. What will/were your reasons for stopping do you think? I didn't plan to stop at any particular time - I assumed DS would get bored and self-wean at some point, which he did when I was in hospital for five days when he was 18 months old. It just came to a natural end then, which was fine.
3. if you have gone beyond 6 months- what have been your experiences of feeding a bigger baby (holding them, position- has it changed)? Yes, as they get longer and leggier and more toddlery it really changes! DP took a great photo of me lying on the bed on my side with DS on all fours with his head down having a feed, just before he stopped. He still used to cuddle on my knee if he was tired or if we were in public, but if we were at home and he felt lively he would feed and twirl about - slightly irritating but also very cute.
4. what positive or negative experiences have you had about feeding beyond 6 or 12 months? All positive, best thing I ever did. I'm very proud that I did it all myself and that DS never had formula. This is not a criticism of the way other mothers feed, but it is something I personally feel very proud of. When he was bigger (but still very definitely a baby!) it was such a great thing to be able to soothe him when he was tired, upset or whatever in such an easy and natural way, and the bedtime feed went on being a great pleasure. It was also great to be able to breastfeed when I went back to work when he was 13 months old. He used to have a morning feed and then when I picked him up I would either feed him at nursery or in the car before we set off for home. It was really helpful, it meant that he was relaxed and happy and not starving hungry for the drive home, and I felt like we'd reconnected after a day apart.
5. And how have u responded to the negative experiences. I did have a bit of an episode with a really sore nipple, but I had an electric pump and expressed off that breast until the nipple was healed and I could go back to feeding from both breasts. Otherwise, no negative experiences at all.