Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

If anyone had told me a week ago...

36 replies

Jennyrosity · 26/01/2012 18:30

...that today I'd be sitting squeezing my own boobs whilst DH diligently collected the resulting colostrum in a syringe to be shot into 4 day old baby girl's mouth and that this would seem perfectly normal to us both...well, I wouldn't have believed them, to say the least.

And yet here we are. DD fed reasonably well in hospital, partly I suspect due to the attentions of very forceful midwives who pushed her head onto my breast and wouldn't take "waaaa" for an answer. But since we've been home she either fights frantically against being on the breast - literally pushing herself off and screaming - or consents to latch on, sucks a couple of times and then promptly falls into a deep sleep.

We had a wonderful session with a lactation consultant yesterday, following which we had 2 or 3 really good feeds, but today she's back to her previous pattern. Consultant has recommended just keeping her close, offering the breast whenever she looks vaguely interested, and the aforementioned colostrum harvesting to keep her going till my milk comes in - which I hope will be very soon!

Anyone else had this? What worked for you?

OP posts:
crikeybadger · 26/01/2012 18:57

The first bit of your post made me smile as I remember feeling the exact same way with DS1. I can remember my DH saying that he'd never imagined seeing his wife 'milk' herself. Smile

Actually, the forceful midwives may be one of the very reasons that she is fighting the breast now. Babies don't take too well to being pushed on the back of their head and this can 'turn them off' feeding.

Your LC consultant's advice sounds good, I'd just add the suggestion to have lots of skin to skin and not force the issue too much. Keep an eye on wet and dirty nappies thou' to ensure she is getting enough. This NCT sheet is pretty good.

crikeybadger · 26/01/2012 18:58

Oh and congratulations and don't worry- things will get better soon. Smile

NewYearEverything · 26/01/2012 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

showtunesgirl · 26/01/2012 19:04

It's amazing how many midwives do the head forcing thing. This happened to me too.

TheCrackFox · 26/01/2012 19:15

Yes, the head forcing thing with ds1 completely ballsed up bf. Well done in getting a lactation consultant to your home to help.

PotteringAlong · 26/01/2012 19:19

One of my friends had this and her DS liked to feed using nipple shields. He's now about 7 weeks old and will feed without them. Could it be worth a go?

EdlessAllenPoe · 26/01/2012 19:38

i think -

how often are you expressing? fairly often to get supply coming

when milk comes in a proper hospital grade pump may come in handy (rent from NCT/ hospital?)

have you had baby checked for tongue tie?

second recommend of trying with nipple shields

if you are up to it, a deep re-birthing bath for you and baby

my sisters baby was just like this just 1 month ago....it was tongue tied, latched on nipple shields....did all the things you mention...

sisters baby now feeding well now tongue-tie snipped!

get as much support as you can.. ...was it NCt or LL or a hospital BFC that came to see you?

PuraVida · 26/01/2012 19:42

I was milked by a male midwife!!!!! Thought nothing of it at the time Blush

Others have given better advice than I can

Good luck it o ly gets easier Smile

cravingcake · 26/01/2012 19:47

My 13wo was a bit like this. He was forceps delivery and his left ear was very bruised and I noticed that he would latch ok on one side but not the other where his bruised ear was on the down/in my hand IYSWIM so had to go for the rugby-ball-under-arm or lying down techniques to get him to latch to the other side ok.

Also, dont forget colustrum is very nourishing so if she is managing to latch on ok for a couple of good sucks before falling asleep she's getting some food that way and you know she can do it.

Original poster
Jennyrosity · 26/01/2012 21:33

Thanks everyone. The YouTube video for biological nurturing made me cry - it just looked so lovely, babies just laid across their mums happily feeding. Mine screams like at my nipples like they're poisoning her, and I can't have lie up my body like because I had an emergency c section and I'm too sore.

I just feel like such a failure. I had a horrible, difficult pregnancy, a horrible, unsuccessful labour - I just wanted this to be the one thing I could do properly for her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jennyrosity · 26/01/2012 21:35

Forgot to say, lactation consultant (who's NCT) is coming back tomorrow. Maybe we can get somewhere but I feel like we're going to be in trouble with her because we've given her some formula in a bottle, which she told us not to do. I just couldn't bear to see her hungry.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jennyrosity · 26/01/2012 21:37

Just noticed I missed a question - I got the midwife to check her for tongue tie while still in the hospital - she's fine.

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 26/01/2012 21:41

Oh how lovely, this has made me smile because it made me remember sitting in hospital gathering colostrum to feed to DS2 to help his blood sugar between proper latched-on feeds.

Please, please don't feel like a failure - you are doing all the right things now. That colostrum gathering will get your milk coming in faster, and that will mean she screams less because she will learn that the milk will come.

Don't beat yourself up about the formula, but do try to give as little as possible because it won't help your supply. Did she take the colostrum you had?

lagrandissima · 26/01/2012 21:42

Jenny don't stress my dear. You are doing your best for her. it can take 5 or so days for your milk to come in, especially after a difficult birth. DS1 was born on a Friday at 10lb 2oz, and dropped to 8lb 10oz by the following Wednesday. The MW said I'd have to use formula the following day - but that night he gained 3oz and I didn't have to face that decision.

Your nipples are not poisoning her - she's a newborn baby, they cry.

Your milk will come in shortly. If your breasts become so hard that the nipple flattens, try hand expressing a few millilitres (or use a hand pump, e.g. medala) to get a better nipple shape before you try to get your LO to latch on. Any milk you express, drop into a sterile cup and then get an oral syringe or sterile teaspoon to drop it into your baby's mouth at the end of the feed. I believe you can take ibuprofen when your milk comes in (it can be very painful) and use cool compress to relieve the inflammation, and a moist warm compress for a few moments before you try to feed your baby. After 24-48 hours the engorgement will pass and you will have less discomfort.

It is incredibly hard to do - believe in the power of your body to nurture the child that you have borne, things will get better soon. In the meantime, as much skin on skin contact as you can manage, nose to nipple, and persevere. Newborns are very tired - some sleep 23 hours out of 24. If she continues to drop off during her feeds, you can try unwrapping her a bit, tickling her toes, changing her nappy etc. At this stage expect 12-13 feeds per 24 hours (depending on her size I guess - a 2 hourly gap between the start of one feed and the start of the next would be normal for a baby between 7lb-10lbs. Other MNers may be able to be more precise about this.

Good luck :)

lagrandissima · 26/01/2012 21:44

X-posted with your post re. giving her some formula. If you can try not do this, as BFing is based on supply and demand - the more she sucks the quicker your milk will come in, and more is produced. Also, if you are feeding her with a bottle she may get a preference for the bottle teat and flow, which is different to the way your breast feels and lets down milk. Have faith that the colostrum you are producing is rich in nutrients. All will be well.

crikeybadger · 26/01/2012 21:45
Sad

Hang in there Jenny - your milk will be there soon and things will get better.

You've had a hard time and you will be able to do this for dd, you just need some support and some help. Many women give their babies a bottle of formula at this stage and many, many have continued to go on and breast feed them.

Could you manage a relaxing bath with dd? Sometimes that can be helpful.

It's such early days still so don't give up hope yet. Smile

EdlessAllenPoe · 26/01/2012 21:45

ask the lactation consultant to check tongue tie too. lots of people on here had their babies missed.

lagrandissima · 26/01/2012 21:45

PS Don't feel like a failure. You've made a beautiful, healthy child. There are people on MN who would give their right arm for that. You have years ahead to be the perfect parents - get through these difficult weeks and be kind to yourself x

Original poster
Jennyrosity · 27/01/2012 02:20

Something wonderful has happened! I went to sleep with DD on my chest a couple of hours ago and just woke up to find her determinedly crawling down me towards my boob, just as the biological nurturing video said. Unfortunately my breasts are so large that my nipple was actually hanging off the edge of my body, so when she got all the way down there and couldn't find it, she began to scream in frustration - and I don't blame her, she'd worked so hard to get there!

Not wanting to disrupt her when she so clearly knew what she wanted, I asked DH to help me syringe some colostrum, thinking if I could get enough into her to calm h

OP posts:
Original poster
Jennyrosity · 27/01/2012 02:26

Silly phone.

...calm her down, she might have another go - and you realise the caliber of the man you married when he just gets up and bemusedly pads around looking for the syringe, even though he's barely awake and she's screaming the place down.

Go to express and discover, joy of joys, my milk has come in! We gather enough in the syringe to calm her, and put her to the breast - she gets the nipple all on her own, no forcing required, and settles in and has a good, proper feed!

She's fallen asleep across my boobs now, and I'm lying her, waiting for her to wake up for the next feed, which I think will be soon, and feeling incredibly happy and proud of my clever, determined little daughter!

OP posts:
LAbaby · 27/01/2012 02:42

Syringe feeding, with my husband squeezing the syringe whenever my son sucked, really worked for us. He had a tiny mouth so did struggle but it taught him that he would be rewarded for sucking. After a shaky start and a big weight loss he had put on a pound by two weeks and we are still feeding six months on. Good luck!

LAbaby · 27/01/2012 02:44

Just read your last message, really brought the memories back! My boobs are too big for my son to latch on himself, but he had a real big go. And my syringe is now in our memory box.

scrivette · 27/01/2012 04:51

That's great news and what an understanding DH.

DS was the same, I would suggest lots of skin to skin tomorrow and a bath together. I always found that DS would latch in much better during or after a bath.

sarahbanshee · 27/01/2012 07:08

Well done - what a great post to read and well done all three of you. Getting successful breastfeeding started can be really hard but you are doing so well and it is great that you and your husband are working as a team. Just keep focused on feeding and stay relaxed about everything else for now, live in pyjamas and stay in bed snuggled up together as much as possible. You are doing such a good job!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 27/01/2012 07:52

Ah brilliant! That has actually made me well up Smile

And well done your DH, a supportive partner is just brilliant when you are learning to BF, they can make all the difference IME.