In tears, in pain, attached to electric breast pump while 3 wk old baby with reflux screams downstairs. Please tell me it gets better! (Lengthy - sorry)

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At my wits end and can't stop crying this evening. DS is 3 wks old and, at his last weigh-in by the community midwife on Thurs, had put only 20g on in 3 days. Midwife coming tomorrow to weigh him again tomorrow (Monday) and I'm fearing the worst. On Thursday he was still half a pound below his birth weight.

For the past week and a half he has slept about 8 hrs in 24 and has fed every 1-2 hours. The problem is, he brings it straight up again - in alarming quantities. Then, of course, he is hungry again and screams the house down until he is back on the boob. Rinse and repeat... Was taken seriously by midwife after he vomited three times during Thursday's visit, half an hour after his last feed. Duly dispatched to GP the same day, who prescribed Infant Gaviscon. Sadly DH & I are finding it difficult to get it down in time - and when we do, it doesn't seem to have much effect.

Am exhausted & worn down to a frazzle and, to compound issues, my left nipple is so cracked/painful that, despite slathering it in Lansinoh, I've resorted to expressing from the left breast this evening, rather than feeding from it. Perhaps the latch could be improved, but I'm sure that LO wanting such frequent feeding from it doesn't help with the healing! The other boob is fine.

But it's the reflux and the failure to put on weight that are really getting me down. Earlier this evening he fed for 25 minutes in an upright position and vomited the milk down his front within a minute of coming off the breast. Then screamed the place down until I popped him back on again. He was too agitated to feed upright - he couldn't keep the latch - so I resorted to side by side feeding. After 25 minutes he took himself off and we fed him the Gaviscon and put him in an upright position - and he brought everything up within about 3 mins.

At that point, I'm afraid to say, I lost the plot and began crying and crying. My DH has taken the baby downstairs and I can hear him screaming for another feed. I feel like such a shit mum and given the past few days, hold out little hope for tomorrow's weigh-in.

I'm sorry about the lengthy tale of woe, but please tell me if you think I am going wrong somewhere - and that it gets better! At the moment, everything I do seems like a waste of time (and precious BM!) - and I'm so worried about my baby. TIA :(

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Oh love, I really feel for you. More knowledgeable posters than I will be along shortly, but it sounds like you need to go back to your GP urgently for a different prescription for the reflux. Gaviscon is only the first step and it doesn't work for some babies.

I am sending you lots of love face. It will get better, before you know it your baby will get well and bigger,remind yourself as i did soon after i gave birth,'this too shall pass', and it will. Hang in there..

I'd be tempted to go to the out of hours doc, actually. You sound at the end of your tether.

He needs to get seen by a paedeatrician

That amount of vomiting is not usual and can point to reflux which can need other treatments

Gaviscon didn't do much for my DS who had silent reflux

Breast milk is the best thing for him tho, if it is reflux as it is very gentle on his tummy so well done on keeping feeding

Feed him as much as you can - skin to skin is good

Ok, first of all, can you call one of the BF hotlines in the morning? I think they're all closed now. They can maybe help you with the latch. The latch = less milk getting into your baby, for how much effort he's putting in, so fixing it should improve his weight, maybe.

Are you sure he's bringing up the whole feed? I know, I know, but a tablespoon of liquid, spread out, looks huge, iyswim.

I think there are more serious options than Gaviscon for reflux. Can you get to the GP tomorrow?

When he throws up, does he projectile vomit? And it sounds as if he is in discomfort with it, too.

I dont have experience of the reflux you are talking about - but the first 3-4 weeks of breast feeding was toe curlingly painful for me. I too sometimes felt - and did- just hide or just cry at the thought of another feed or cry during it.
Everything - lack of sleep, pain, hormones are against you so don;t think for a minute you are a crap mum - you're not!!
I had really big boobs and it only really got better when I learnt I had to hold up each breast when DS was feeding so he wasn't pulling or tugging.

If it helps I fed until 13 months and it became a great loving thing so it definitely does get better.
And all my friends babies with reflux got better too x

Please put your foot down tomorrow and demand to be seen by a paeditrician. Even if it means sitting in A and E. I was in your situation and its no fun for anybody involved (projectile vomiting after every feed and it was taking hours to feed). Luckily my GP agreed with my suspicion that it was lactose intolerance and we had it dealt with, happier baby within 24hrs and no vomiting - this was week 6. However, your baby may not have this problem, but its worth checking.
Try to distance yourself from the crying, not physically, but mentally, its not the babys fault and its not your fault, hope it is resolved soon. x

Am no expert on reflux but for your nipple can you get some compresses called Bio-Fem? They are BRILLIANT. The makers do a balm as well which you can smear on with abandon but the secret weapon for me were the compresses - little pieces of, well, cloth stuff impregnated with some kind of magic elixir. Bung them in your bra and let the soothing begin. Have used then with both my dcs and they worked overnight to sort out my cracked and bleeding nips.

Am in France but have a spare box of cream and conpressss and if you want to pm me I can shove them in post to you tomorrow but would take couple of gays to reach you. If you need them sooner I found them in a big branch of boots.

Good luck and I agree another GP trip is in order. And don't get down about the weight business. My ds took more than three weeks to regain birth weight and the midwives were nothing but encouraging. They will see how determined you are...

Irsy thing thay springs to my mind, Is it projectile vomiting? Hang on in there.

Couple of days, not gays. . Durrrrr.

Is your baby showing any signs of dehydration, is his soft spot sunken at all? Are you getting wet nappies?

You need an urgent referral to a paediatrician.

You GP can do this. When DD was ill my GP faxed the referral at 3pm and we were seen (by the consultant) at 8.30 the next day. not only that but we were in the diagnostic imaging department at 10.00, scanned by 11.00.

It is possible so don't be fobbed off.

I really feel for you, I am so sorry you are going through this.

The breast relief compresses may also be called Multi-mam - having googled it appears they may be rebranding them but the genius sanity-saving products inside are the same.

Sympathy - huge. It DOES get better.

DS vomited constantly despite being BF and refusing a bottle until at least 6 months. And he was a useless feeder. It took him hours. I wore nothing but T shirts over my clothes as there was sick everywhere, including in DS's ears. he also screamed constantly and loudly for 6 months. His weight was a concern. He's fine now. But I nearly lost it on many occasions. The breast pumps were also a disaster - eventually i appplied a cow milking technique to me, rather than a machine.

Gaviscon did nothing for us nor did we find an immediate cure.

But if he is projectile vomiting (our DS didn't - it just came up and out, with screams) ring the out of hours crew, otherwise keep him warm, cuddled and listening to your heartbeat, with a towel and t shirt over you that you can change and see the health people in the morning.

Watch what you are eating, too. My sister in Switzerland was told to eat nothing fibrous nor acidic nor bloating, as they would all upset the tummy. When she told me this, I finally realised that the fizzy water, coffee, porridge, strawberries or cabbage etc that I had been having was having a disastrous effect. She also told me that if she had a small sweet sherry (yuk) 45 mins before BFing, when infant was about 1 month, helped him and her! It did, too. Bbut it had to be sweet. I'm sure that would not be good advice here, but it seemed to be acceptable in mittel europe.

Ok, it's shit. It will get better. Your baby needs to be seen by someone and the next steps taken since Gaviscon isn't cutting it. Chances are, you'll work through some options and suddenly you'll have a gurgly, happy, weight gaining baby. Keep pushing for your lovely child to be seen. Well done so much on what you've managed so far.

Thanks all for such swift advice - I'm already a bit calmer! We're due a visit from the HV and also a visit from the midwife tomorrow, so I shall ask for something stronger or a referral to the paediatrician. Tbh when the midwife first suggested that he would need to be readmitted to hospital if he didn't put on weight, I was mortified - but that was over a week ago (& feels like a lifetime), and I'm now at the stage where I'll do anything - ANYTHING! - to get him happier and chubbier, as everything that I have tried since then has had minimal effect.

@NotQuiteCockney We do have a local BF support group, but my best intentions re. going have so far been thwarted by the non-stop feeding/winding/propping upright/vomiting schedule. The midwife initially made the same comment about the tablespoon, but changed her mind last week when she saw what he was managing to regurgitate over his sodden babygro (and her sodden shoulder ). I think appearances can be misleading though, as he is a healthy-looking baby despite the lack of weight gain: pink-cheeked, alert and producing plenty of sodden nappies. He is in discomfort - when he turns puce and pummels his face and screams and screams, it's horrible to be able to do so little about it.

I'm also wondering about wet nappies? A friend's baby did this and there were two problems - one was a cows milk/lactose intolerance and the other was a problem with her gut/ intenstines which needed very simple and minor surgery to correct. Sorry I can't be more technical but I had a new baby at the time and the details went over my head. Ask to see a pediatrician. Are poos green and frothy? This is a symptom of lactose intolerance.

Sorry you're having such an awful time .

There are lots of mumsnetters who have experience with reflux who will hopefully come over and help. Sadly, I'm not one of those, but I thought this information may be useful to read.

The writer also has a breastfeeding support service called milk matters. They might be good people to have a chat with over the phone.

Really hope you get some help soon.

OP when he voms does it travel long distances like something out of the Exorcist or is it just down his baby gros? If its travelling pop to A&E tonight as they can do a very simple test to rule out something called pyloric stenosis.

If its just hitting you and him then hopefully the HV and Gp can sort his reflux meds ply a referral to a paed.

I'm glad you mentioned it Baroness. DS2 had Pyloric Stenosis at 5 weeks, there was lots of vomit with blood flecks in it, but his soft spot sunk which is when we got help. Not saying this applies to your baby Present but mention it to the midwife to rule it out.

OP, just sending love and support. Sounds particularly tough. If vomiting is not projectile, the next step 'up' in reflux medicine that is usually prescribed is Ranitidine and we found this very helpful. Best of luck. Oh, and I know I'll get battered for this but if you need a few hours ours from caring for your baby, your DH can always give him a little bottle of formula/expressed milk if you some. Things always seem worst at night as you enters he graveyard shift, so just keep going.

ignore the instructions. Give the gaviscon before a feed not after. I found it best, with 2 of mine, to give it before a feed made up in a bottle with water and warm.they're more likely to drink anything warm and wet when hungry.sometimes I had to use a syringe to get it in then made it all better with a feed after.if you express try mixing it with a little milk to get it down.

fake care of yourself. I promise it will get better.

Projectile vomiting: no, none of that - thank heaven for small mercies! Up it comes, and down his front / my back it goes.

The GP checked him on Thursday, when the Gaviscon was prescribed, and said that he wasn't dehydrated. His nappies are nice and soggy. I've been keeping an eye on his fontanel since then and it hasn't been visibly sunked. Another plus point!

As for dairy: his poos are mustard and runny, but I've been guzzling food to keep up with his feeding, and there has been a lot of dairy in there (I'm vegetarian). I have cut dairy out as of today to see if it makes a difference, but according to kellymom it can take up to 3 wks to see if there is a noticeable effect - and dang, at this point I definitely don't have that long.

@FriskyBivalves - thank you so much for your kind offer. PMing you...

I promise you it gets better. My daughter is nearly six months old and still suffering from reflux. When she was two weeks old she lost 400 grams in a week (less that the 10 per cent they allow but I was devastated), I like you had decided to breast feed, although I loved my midwife she basically told me to spend the evening with my top off in front of the telly and feed as often as my daughter required (thought I was doing that anyway) as it must be my latch but hey ho did it anyway, cue vomiting like you wouldn't believe and a trip to A and E the next day, DD was sick 11 times in 8 hours. Hospital decided reflux so we were given infant Gaviscon. As you say it was a viscous cycle feed, sick, feed and the nipple pain was agony.

Anyway we found what worked for us was a formula last thing at night and first thing in the morning,it wasn't what I had wanted but the thicker consistency meant it stayed down much better and meant we all got some Much needed sleep and it gave my poor breasts a rest. (a mega hot bath really helps I find but make sure you dry yourself really carefully afterwards)

A the end of the day you need to find out what works for you and your family, never ever feel like any of this is your fault, it's not, you are not a crap mum and soon you will get in the swing of this vomiting malarky, I promise. My daughter now takes most of her feeds (bottles of breast and formula-milk) in her bouncy chair as any movement however slight has her stomach contents on the floor faster that you can say yuk!

Although this Gaviscon neutralises the stomach it does not help at all with DDs amount of vomit and the doctors/health visitor are uninterested since is putting on weight so well now. However DD is a happy, chubby little madam who just happens to shower me in sick but I promise it gets easier you really will learn to live with it.

Try to Stop beating yourself up (easier said than done I know, I was you a few months ago :) the mere fact that your concerned shows your not a bad mum.

The very best of luck xxx