In tears, in pain, attached to electric breast pump while 3 wk old baby with reflux screams downstairs. Please tell me it gets better! (Lengthy - sorry)

[PresentFace]

At my wits end and can't stop crying this evening. DS is 3 wks old and, at his last weigh-in by the community midwife on Thurs, had put only 20g on in 3 days. Midwife coming tomorrow to weigh him again tomorrow (Monday) and I'm fearing the worst. On Thursday he was still half a pound below his birth weight.

For the past week and a half he has slept about 8 hrs in 24 and has fed every 1-2 hours. The problem is, he brings it straight up again - in alarming quantities. Then, of course, he is hungry again and screams the house down until he is back on the boob. Rinse and repeat... Was taken seriously by midwife after he vomited three times during Thursday's visit, half an hour after his last feed. Duly dispatched to GP the same day, who prescribed Infant Gaviscon. Sadly DH & I are finding it difficult to get it down in time - and when we do, it doesn't seem to have much effect.

Am exhausted & worn down to a frazzle and, to compound issues, my left nipple is so cracked/painful that, despite slathering it in Lansinoh, I've resorted to expressing from the left breast this evening, rather than feeding from it. Perhaps the latch could be improved, but I'm sure that LO wanting such frequent feeding from it doesn't help with the healing! The other boob is fine.

But it's the reflux and the failure to put on weight that are really getting me down. Earlier this evening he fed for 25 minutes in an upright position and vomited the milk down his front within a minute of coming off the breast. Then screamed the place down until I popped him back on again. He was too agitated to feed upright - he couldn't keep the latch - so I resorted to side by side feeding. After 25 minutes he took himself off and we fed him the Gaviscon and put him in an upright position - and he brought everything up within about 3 mins.

At that point, I'm afraid to say, I lost the plot and began crying and crying. My DH has taken the baby downstairs and I can hear him screaming for another feed. I feel like such a shit mum and given the past few days, hold out little hope for tomorrow's weigh-in.

I'm sorry about the lengthy tale of woe, but please tell me if you think I am going wrong somewhere - and that it gets better! At the moment, everything I do seems like a waste of time (and precious BM!) - and I'm so worried about my baby. TIA :(

hello, i haven't read every post so sorry if this repeats somone, Im off to bed in a min, just wanted to say, I've had 5 and 2 DS's had raging reflux. Have you been prescribed gaviscon. It really does help. I expressed 4 oz every morning when had most milk and put it into 4 x breast bottles with wide teat and less air. Give one dose before a feed. (i think it used to be half a sachet) Of course while feeding all the time this is tricky but will give you a bit of respite. Also tipping matress up can help as mine wouldn't sleep on back as in too much pain. Also 3 weeks in you are bound to feel everything is awful. don't give ujp and dont be too hard on yourself. Breast milk is so much better for relux as its more eaily digestible. Also there are some foods that will make baby worse. Don't go near a cabbage, or anything dark green, onions and tomotos, baked beans, basically anything that makes you windy will make hime worse. Good luck, thinking of you

No advice but just wanted to say I've been there and its so hard and you're doing so well to still be breastfeeding. Dd brought up fountains of milk for a long time and fussed and cried and arched her back when feeding, it was pure hell.

This sounds odd but I got a tea towel and poured an ounce of water onto it to give me some perspectiuve which helped sometimes.

Baby may be crying more because of reflux than hunger too - have you considered a dummy? I hate them but they really soothed dd.

Sorry if I'm repeating am in a rush but wanted to reply.

Thanks melatoon4 - it's heartening to know that you were in the same position, and that it does get better. I've read tons online about reflux, but all the webpages seems to end with the same line about how you shouldn't worry too much as long as your baby is putting on weight. There is relatively little that covers the opposite scenario!

A dummy really helped my Dd so definitely worth a try. Ds2 lost more than 10% and hadn't put it back on after 2 weeks. Then got gaviscon and he slowly started gaining, then had a massive spurt and caught right up to his centile.

Do try giving gaviscon before a feed it worked much better that way for us.

Present, so many posts.....everyone's rooting for you !

Best thing is to see someone who can give knowledgeable help asap.

Breastfeeding helplines will give support, but cannot really help with what sounds like something that needs a medical view.

Don't stop/start doing something different 'cos of what people say on here. Check everything out first. Having said that, Gaviscon is usually given before a feed - can you call someone to check that out?

For what it's worth, a baby this far below birthweight at 3 weeks needs taking seriously, quite apart from the chucking up. Even so, he sounds basically ok from what you say....so no panic.

Thanks again for all the replies and advice. Fed DS about 20 mins ago, having given him the Gaviscon beforehand, rather than after, and also mixed it with BM rather than water. Right now the feed is staying down and he's dozing on DH's chest rather than yelling and thrashing, so fingers crossed!

DH and I doubt that he has put on weight, but are all primed to ask (and argue if necessary) for a paediatrician referral tomorrow. I will let you know how we get on...

Good to hear things are looking slightly better. I have no advice, just wanted to say my LO was admitted to hosp at 5 days as BF was a disaster (he was tired so not feeding, then too tired to feed and as first time Mum I had no idea what I was doing IYSWIM)

I was mortified, but IMHO the two days we spent in hosp were well worth it. I was lucky as although he had lost 16% of his bodyweight and his bloodtests etc showed he was dehydrated we caught it early enough that I was allowed to carry on trying to bf top up with cup feeding ebm.

There were two wonderful nurses on the pediatric ward who were bf specialists, and all 6(!) of the doctors we saw offered slightly different but useful advice.

He's 4 weeks and 2 days now, and weirdly has just taken his first feed without the nipple shield that has been the only way i can get him latched on...no idea why the sudden change!!

Fingers crossed you get this sorted, with or without admission to hospital.

Just echoing what some other posters said, You need a Gp to refer you to a paediatrician. My ds was exactly the same as you describe yours, and it was such a difficult time for us all.

It got easier with gaviscon (seems to kick in and do the job after a few days) and then domperidrone and ranitidine (sp?) which disagrees with him so we don't give him that.
Keep up with the bfing, you may be offered a formula by a paed but that could create more problems. A 3 week old baby wont be able to take a dummy, and it could interfere with bfing latch, this was suggested to us but was fruitless because even the tiny ones were too big for his mouth.

We had to walk ds2 around all the time held in an upright position to stop milk literally pouring out and it did help.
It does get easier I promise.

There is a website called crying over spilt milk that was very helpful for us, as was a diet change for me. Agree with other posters that keeping them upright after feeds helps, and taking 20 min between each breast during feeds helped a lot. We are now 7 months in and it is WAY better. You will get here too. Deep breaths :)

Echoing my support and glad that things seem a little better. Your post heading really resonanted with me. We were kept in hospital for 5 days after the birth due to difficulty breastfeeding and weight loss, I basically had to express milk and syringe feeds into him in the hospital (under guidance from midwives) for a time. My ds had mild reflux and I remember oh so well sitting with the Medula Swing pumping away (and seemingly taking for bloody ever) while he screamed and screamed. Gaviscon helped us and definately keeping upright after feeds. Lie VivalaSativa above, we walked round and round with him upright to stop he milk pouring out.

I hope you get some good support from hv and doc later today. The hv should be able to refer you to the local bf group-the leader of mine did home visits and she was a huge help, really gave me the confidence to continue breastfeeding when I was feeling so useless and on the verge of giving up. It definately does get easier-I have huge admiration for you for persevering.

so glad the gaviscon mixed with bm worked, hope it continues to! Hope today is a better day x

I'm so glad that gaviscon before rather than after helped. I was going demented trying to post that advice to you last night, for some reason my phone wouldn't post and that advice made all the difference to me with mine. DS2, who lost weight at the start, had gained weight (albeit only a tiny bit) within 2 days of getting gaviscon down him. If it gets in and works then it will make a difference pretty fast. It meant he settled to a feed instead of arching his back and screaming his way through.

All three of mine have had dummies from birth and taken them fine. DD and DS2 still BF fine, DS1 FF for other reasons. Both the boys could have lived without I suspect but DD (who also had reflux) seemed to really, really need it. She just had a really strong need to suck and not feed. She would scream if offered the breast when not hungry but would be happy with the dummy. I do think it's worth a try if he's very unsettled between feeds.

How have things been today PresentFace?

Well, today has been a lot better - last night was a lot better, too. DS has put on weight! It's only a couple of ounces, but it's going in the right direction, and I was convinced he would have lost weight again because of all the vomiting, so am really happy.

Actually he's been like a different baby today: a lot calmer, a lot sleepier and a lot less pukey (and less clawing-at-his-face hungry as a result). I'm not sure why this is as we've given him a little Gaviscon, but not that much. I'll go with it though! As a result I managed to get an afternoon nap in, and feel a lot better myself. We also tried a dummy for the first time today, when he was grizzling inbetween feeds.

The MW and HV confirmed that he isn't dehydrated, and the MW isn't fussed about the fact that he isn't yet back at his birthweight as she says he is getting there - albeit slowly. Have made an appointment with the GP to review the Gaviscon scrip and the MW is coming by again later in the week.

So, things are looking up (she says, hopefully...)

Well done presentface, you are doing brilliantly.

There is a reflux support thread running in feeding and I know it has pretty much all the ideas on it-at least the first thread in August 2010 I think-for helping refluxy babies. You will notice there that different GPs give different advice and some are reluctant to prescribe or refer on. If you don't get what you need from yours, don't accept it as gospel - go and see someone else instead.

I hope the gaviscon continues to help. We found with ds1 and 2 that we had good and bad days. Gradually the good outweighed the bad. Watch out for constipation with gaviscon. Some seem fine on it but it's worth keeping an eye out. Ranitidine, I believe, can not be prescribed until the baby is a bit heavier. I recall willing ds2 to gain enough to have it.

I remember the screaming, the constant covering in sick and me crying too. I would recommend getting dh to do one of the sitting upright sessions in the night - ours took 90mins! Also, when you make it out of the house, don't forget to pack a clean top for you as well as the baby! Finally, I found terry towelling squares from Boots to be much more absorbent than traditional muslins, thus avoiding some of the spillages. Hell, at times I went for a hand towel!

I don't think people with babies who don't have reflux really understand what it is like. Take any help you are offered, let others hold the baby when it screams to give yourself a break and do whatever you need to do to get through. Any bad habits can be undone later. My 2 both had a dummy by day 4 as I understand it helps reflux. Good luck. PM me if I can help.

Fabulous news! Sounds like the gaviscon is working. It's amazing the difference it makes when it does. Well done you :). Fingers crossed it carries on getting better now.

Fantastic news that you are all feeling a bit happier.

Well done on the weight gain too- it must be be good to be moving in the right direction.

brilliant - keep going. But some just keep screaming for ages so if he does but seems to be ok, bright eyed etc, just remain calm.. One lovely cousin told me not to worry - pointed out it was good exercise.

I jettisoned the baby muslins early on for linen tea towels. absorb 3x their weight. and kept the spare t shirt in the car.

and look after yourself. don;t expect too much of yourself. Another friend told me that if she had managed to have a bath and read a bit of a newspaper that was success. Dressing - who cared....

This does sound exactly like what we went through, with slow weight gain, constant screaming , feeding and puking.oh, I remember it so well - in fact, I will never forget - my ds had reflux, but was not diagnosed until 10 weeks - he was put on ranitidine which doesn't stop the puking, but helps with the stomach acid so relieves the pain. The paediatrician who was lovely said that it would improve when he was able to take solids (thicker and easier to keep down) and when he could sit up. My DS got a flat head from twisting to one side and always lying the same way - the physio said he was a typical reflux baby and had given himself a flat head by trying to reach a position he could be comfortable in ( basically trying to lengthen his oesophagus trying to get away from the acid washing around if that makes sense) I used to give the gaviscon using a pippette out of the infacol bottle - don't worry if you give it before, during or after a feed, or express a little bit off into a bottle and add to that, then return to breast, but it is a faff. there was a good website that had wedges etc to prop them up: www.babyreflux.co.uk/knowledge/
I hope things are going a bit better for you now.

On iPhone, so this'll be brief:

• when you get time, go on the reflux support thread, there is excellent advice re giving gaviscon, plus things that have worked for others for you to try!

Ds (3 months today!) has silent reflux. First 6 weeks hell, he would only sleep upright on me or dh unless exhausted and then we sometimes could get him into hIs propped up Moses basket for a few hours. I hope you are getting some sleep! Gaviscon did v little for ds, gp put him on rantidine at 6 weeks and that helped pretty much straight away, things improved vastly - so keep some hope! Different meds help different babies tho, so if what ur gp can prescribe (gaviscon or rantidine generally) doesn't work, push to see paeds.

Ds has silent reflux, still not better 100% ESP when he managesto spit out or vom up his ranitidine... Plus he's on 91st centile (guzzling milk uo soothe his throat), so little bugger keeps needing his dose adjusted to keep pace with him!

Hope things are getting better, you healing up at least...

I wanted to give a quick update, as everyone was so kind and helpful when I posted originally.

Sadly it all went downhill again after my last post: after a couple of good days and a paediatrician appt set for two weeks later, we had a couple of not-so-good days and then a couple of days that will be known as Vomitgate forever after, which resulted in a same day referral to the children's ward at the local hospital. He wasn't dehydrated, thank goodness, but it seemed like the milk was boomeranging out of his stomach and his weight gain stalled again.

While in hospital he was put on Ranitidine (which neutralises the stomach acid) and this has really helped to make him happier. It doesn't stop him being sick but it stops the vomiting being so painful for him, so he isn't screaming all the time - and a different baby has emerged! He also behaved beautifully while on the ward, had a couple of really good days and put on 4oz in two days. I saw a breastfeeding counsellor who gave us the once over and a thumbs up.

So baby and I have had a better time of it since leaving hospital - hooray! - but almost from the minute we walked out the door, he began vomiting a lot all over again, and his weight gain stalled. He has put on half an ounce in the past week. So we went back this week and were prescribed two more medicines to try. The first is Carobel, a milk thickening powder - tbh it seems utterly incompatible with breastfeeding. The second is Erythromycin, which speeds up the progress of milk through the stomach.

So there are good days and bad days, but no easy answers. The paediatrician did mention FF if none of these work, but hopefully we won't have to. Fingers crossed!

I've PMed you about some of the things in your update.