Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Feel a failure...pls help

50 replies

ebbie22 · 14/01/2006 22:39

Hiya,just wondered if anyone could shed some light for me pls...
Ds is 4 wks old,solely breast fed,but the last 3 nights,wont/cant settle between 11 and 2,last night it was 4am ..
Real high pitched crying,constantly wants to suckle on boob,but keeps unlatching himself,also no milk left.......
He doesnt poo for up to 3 days,so far,and is VERY windy to say the least....
Am starting to feel that my milk alone isnt enough for him at night yet he weighed 9lbs 14 on weds and was 8lb 5.5 ozs at birth so surly that cant be problem...any answers would be gratly recieved...t.i.a xx

OP posts:
starlover · 14/01/2006 22:42

ok well your boobs produce milk constantly, so you will never have no milk.
he may just want comfort, and he gets that from feeding which is a good thing!
it could be colic, which is basically unexplained crying... doesn't really help much does it? have you tried using infacol or colief to help with his wind?

also, not poo-ing for 3 days is totally normal in a breastfed baby. they absorb so much of it that there isn't much left to get rid of. it's fine for them to go over a week!!!!

i think your milk is fine for him, he sounds like he is putting on weight brilliantly

alexsmum · 14/01/2006 22:44

some breastfed babies don't poo for days. the milk is so good at providing what they need and so eay to digest that sometimes they don't have any waste left over.
are your breasts sore? could he be latching off because his mouth is sore? check for white spots in his mouth, could be thrush.
your milk is enough for him , he is putting on weight . have faith in yourself.
high pitched cry sounds a bit colicky?
it might not feel like it but you will always have milk- the more he sucks the more you will make.
sorry if i'm stating the obvious here.

alexsmum · 14/01/2006 22:45

bit controversial maybe...have you tried him with a dummy?

arizona · 14/01/2006 22:45

Sounds like he is doing fine ebbie22. Don't give up! I had 9lb 5oz ds totally breastfed, very healthy. I think your milk is enough. Still very early days and baby is still not 'settled'. A blip? Will soon sort itself out i think. Hope not too simplistic!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/01/2006 22:46

Ebbie, all babies go through a growth spurt between 4-6 weeks and will want to feed more. This in turn ups your milk supply. Its a tough time but if you stick with it he will settle in a few days.

hunkermunker · 14/01/2006 22:47

No poo for three days in a breastfed baby this young can be a cause for concern. How long has this been going on? Has he ever pooed every day?

foundintranslation · 14/01/2006 22:48

Constant feeding (even/especially (!) at night) is very normal in the early days. 4 weeks would be VERY early to be doing anything close to sleeping through.
How do you know/what makes you think you have no milk left? There is always milk in the breast.
That said, the poos are a bit infrequent for his age. How many sopping wet nappies are you getting per day?
Weight gain should be calculated from lowest weight, not birth weight. How much did he lose after birth?
You're NOT not not a failure... well done for persevering! Don't rush to supplement him just yet. It would be a very good idea to speak to a bf counsellor:
bf helpling numbers if you click on here and scroll down
Good luck!

arizona · 14/01/2006 22:49

My ds had very infrequent poos too. Used to be thrilled with a big one. She was fine!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/01/2006 22:49

To be more specific, whereas your baby normaly feeds every 2-4 hours, you may find he wants to feed almost double that, or feed for much longer. Just let him do this (yes, you do start to feel like a milking machine!) and then he will slowly reduce the number of feeds he wants but your body will continue to make enough for the increased feeds. Hope that makes sense.

ALso, it does sound like colic. Its very common, and very distressing and they do grow out of it after 3 months. In the meantime i found Infacol helped us.

expatinscotland · 14/01/2006 22:50

Hey, you are NOT a failure, okay!

Your milk is FINE. It is entirely possible for breastfed babies to be colicky. And he may not even be colicky.

When babies get to this age, they go through a few rough patches. It's like they realise they're not in the mummy anymore and they're a bit gutted.

I would be, too. I mean, things were good in there - they were always the right temp, they didn't have to suck on anything or cry to get nourishment, they were comfy, etc.

Try two droppers full of Infacol before each feed. Stop and wind him every 5-10 minutes.

If you're finding it hard to get wind out of him just by sitting him up, try placing him on your lap face down w/a rolled up towel under his shoulder for support and rubbing his back. Or, stand up, hold him facing outwards, and cork him over your arm. Rub his back. Sometimes this helps bring up the wind.

Hold him a bit after the feed and put on a little white noise. Make sure the room is free from other stimulation.

Get mobile, pace the floor, bouncing him gently in your arms. Go for a drive or a walk if you're in a safe neighbourhood (ah, that was one advantage of DD1's being born in summer, those long days).

This will pass. When you get down, just repeat that over and over again.

Catilla · 14/01/2006 22:50

Infacol!

I started it about this age (maybe earlier actuallY). At first seemed odd putting something "artificial" in his mouth - but soon was scared to feed without the little drops first!

Also - try not to worry too much - almost everything that feels like it'll be the same forever with a baby actually changes after only a week or two.

How does he "not settle"? Lots of crying regardless of being held - or only when put down? Have you tried swaddling? Or warming the mattress before putting him down?

BTW feeling like you have "no milk left" (which as starlover says, is never actually true) is a good thing - emptying the breasts well will stimulate more production. Which reminds me - it could just be a growth spurt (3 weeks is a usual time... but it does vary) - so maybe he is hungry and will soon be more than satisfied as your production goes up.

Remember he still has soooo much more growing to do - if you don't let your milk supply be stimulated (ie. go through the few days of extra demand to get there) and instead substitute with formula - then the supply won't increase and then he'll only be less satsifed. Make sense?

Yorkiegirl · 14/01/2006 22:54

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ebbie22 · 14/01/2006 22:56

Thanks for the advice so far....Im not worried that he is not putting on weight as he seems to be fine on that note,over 9 ozs a week?Why,do you think that is not enough then?????
The poo issues started the tues b4 last when he was 2wks plus 4,b4 that EVERY nappy was dirty....He has loads of wet nappies,and im not concerned that he is not sleaping thur,sorry if it seemed i was,just that for the last 3 nights he has been screaming non stop for at least 2 hours,he does doze but still seems to be in pain,and then when he has settled,its only when he is upright....

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/01/2006 22:58

Could possibly be reflux. I dont know much about it mind you. Might be worth a visit to GP or HV to rule it out.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/01/2006 22:58

I dont think the non pooing is anything to worry about at the moment. Three days is ok imo.

starlover · 14/01/2006 23:00

i don't think anyone was concerned about his weight.. think they thought you were! lol

he really does sound fine..

what happens in the evenings? do you put him down in his cot in your/his room? he MAY just feel a bit lonely.. we used to put ds in his crib in the living room with us!
he may just want comfort, as expat said, it's a bit odd for them being in the outside world! it's totally ok to just cuddle him to sleep.
if you manage to get him to sleep, what happens when you put him down?

it is definitely worth trying swaddling or warming his bed up before you put him down. just makes them feel a bit more secure and cuddled

hunkermunker · 14/01/2006 23:01

"Some breastfed babies, after the first three to four weeks of life, may suddenly change their stool pattern from many each day, to one every three days or even less. Some babies have gone as long as 15 days or more without a bowel movement. As long as the baby is otherwise well, and the stool is the usual pasty or soft, yellow movement, this is not constipation and is of no concern. No treatment is necessary or desirable, because no treatment is necessary or desirable for something that is normal."

This is from kellymom.

The main thing is, do you think he's OK? When he does poo, is it a decent amount? Is he alert when awake?

You do have milk, that much is obvious from his weight gain. Don't fall into the trap of expressing to find out how much you have because it's no guide at all.

Breastfeed him a lot, don't supplement him with formula or restrict his feed times, try something like Infacol and if you are worried about him because he seems not himself, then I'd say take him to the GP on Monday.

Original poster
ebbie22 · 14/01/2006 23:02

Forgot to add,feels like no milk left as he was on the boob,and then off again,more so i think as a comfort and also so i knew it wasnt just because he was hungry[iugwim]...Nipples were beginning to hurt and as a result r bright pink[lol]...He seems settled tonight and has sleapt for 3 hours so far,i am feeding on demand and dont have a clue how ofton he goes between feeds...
Since he was born he has been very chilled only crys for a feed,or dirty nappy,and still is in the day...Have tried inforcl but keep forgetting to give it to him....how the hell do i remember??

OP posts:
starlover · 14/01/2006 23:04

we had that prob with remembering to give the infacol! never did find a way of reminding myself!

you sound like you're doing a good job though, especially the "chilled" baby bit!
i bet he just wants lots of hugs from you... and tbh who can blame him?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/01/2006 23:04

Have you tried tilting his crib/cot slightly?

Original poster
ebbie22 · 14/01/2006 23:10

Sorry to go on,just recaping on the messages...
Jack,stays downstairs with us and starts out of the blue,wont settle with a dummy although does in the day....As he is farting all the time could it b he is just a windy baby?He does get winded after each feed,and does burp...
I did mention it to the h.v on weds,and deep down i do feel worried but dont know if its just me worrin or if i should be worried...I know its still early days and hes just beginning to get to know everything himself,but it doesnt seem right,but other than that e is fine himself....Why is there not confused icon....

OP posts:
starlover · 14/01/2006 23:13

it does sound like colic tbh... and if so he will grow iout of it... though it's not nice for you right now!

BUT, that said it may be worth a visit to the GP just to put your mind at rest? that way at least you'll know he is fit and healthy and there is nothing untoward bothering him.

have heard really good things about colief on here, so maybe try that if the infacol isn't doing it?

my ds always got rid of his wind by farting too... explosive poos were a nightmare

starlover · 14/01/2006 23:14

actually colief sounds a bit of a faff... you have to add it to expressed milk! but then, if it works...

suzi2 · 14/01/2006 23:15

Our DS (now 5 months) was a really windy baby until the last few weeks. He was really colicky too.

Have you tried any of the colic remedies to help with the wind? My DS was the same. Uncontrollable crying for about 3 hours a night and generally windy and grumpy during the day. We walked the floor with him for weeks. Eventally Colief drops helped a fair bit. although they were fiddly to use while breastfeeding. You can get them on prescription if they work.

Original poster
ebbie22 · 14/01/2006 23:16

He just seems to stop...as quick as he had started but because i was up/down,i have sleapt on sofa as not to wake dd....he slaps in his chair,wakes for his feeds then straight back to sleap....Maybe i should stop the clock at 9,til the followering morning...lol
Even when i cuddle him,or if dh does he is still screaming,he might settle for a little but then he starts again....

OP posts: