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Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Infant feeding

Feel a failure...pls help

50 replies

ebbie22 · 14/01/2006 22:39

Hiya,just wondered if anyone could shed some light for me pls...
Ds is 4 wks old,solely breast fed,but the last 3 nights,wont/cant settle between 11 and 2,last night it was 4am ..
Real high pitched crying,constantly wants to suckle on boob,but keeps unlatching himself,also no milk left.......
He doesnt poo for up to 3 days,so far,and is VERY windy to say the least....
Am starting to feel that my milk alone isnt enough for him at night yet he weighed 9lbs 14 on weds and was 8lb 5.5 ozs at birth so surly that cant be problem...any answers would be gratly recieved...t.i.a xx

OP posts:

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ebbie22 · 16/01/2006 23:16

Thanks,he does like to suckle,though is unsettled again tonight so will give him some gripe water an see if that helps....Not as unsettled though might i add..lol,may be thinking something different in the morn mind..

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Karmamother · 16/01/2006 15:18

meant to say, the unlatching thing...when dd does this I think she wants to suckle but her wind pain makes it difficult so she pulls off. She normally has a good burp. Also, when she is overtired & screaming, again she wants to suckle but she's too far gone,IYSWIM, to relax & feed properly. Sometimes, I rest her on a pillow & feed her rugby ball style instead of holding her in my arm, which is probably as tense as she is!

Karmamother · 16/01/2006 15:15

ebbie, this sounds like my dd. She did this for ages and through a process of elimination I felt she had "stockpiled" some wind which was now in her intestines & couldn't be shifted until she farted. Also, she was very tired...over-tired in fact. I now understand her personality & realise that she is very nosey & will stay awake till the bitter end. Once she got to this stage, it was near impossible to calm her let alone get her to sleep. We ended up with 3hrs of rocking & walking which was the undoing of us. Its now hard to get her to sleep without it. Anyway. what I do now is watch for early signs of tiredness...yawning & burying her face into my chest, then try & get her to sleep then. Hth.

ebbie22 · 15/01/2006 17:17

Thank you for all your replys,Jack slept soundly again last night so maybe he did just need some extra milk....Though do think it does sound a bit like colic,though will just see how it goes....

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kiskidee · 15/01/2006 04:17

"to the top"

kiskidee · 15/01/2006 04:16

ebbie, just in case infacol doesn't work, it didnt for me. try good ole gripe water in a medicine dropper. dd loved the taste. a tummy tub seemed to help with getting her to poo too as they pedal their legs when you fill the tub top and suspend them in the deep water. her little pedalling legs brought out a few massive poos. (be on your guard as you then have to get them out quickly and refill the tub with water.) sorry if TMI.

agree with swaddling. also in desperation, dh once took dd out for a walk all swaddled in a fleece blankie and a hat into a bracing NE wind when nothing would console her and she was asleep in about 30 secs - and a few more times afterwards! sometimes the oddest things work.

ebbie22 · 15/01/2006 00:40

oh no def years 2.5 or was with my dd.....Jack has gone bk to sleap....

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expatinscotland · 15/01/2006 00:37

you gotta wonder sometimes why we do this to ourselves .

well, i play w/my 2.5 year old daughter and know why.

but tbh, this newborn phase is the roughest one imo.

mears · 15/01/2006 00:32

If you think it is colic you could also try feeding from one breast at each feed. By that I mean first side, change nappy etc. then put back on same side.

Agree that it could just be a phase you ride out. I remember putting baby in pram and rocking him in the middle of the night out of frustration.

expatinscotland · 15/01/2006 00:31

i'm awake, too. just fed roisin but she was STILL screaming away.

dh has her now, b/c when all else fails, it's time for a long drive! the motorway will usually do it.

ebbie22 · 15/01/2006 00:30

wide awake....but happpy...

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/01/2006 00:29

OK, this might seem realy unhelpful, but sometimes they just do this. There isnt much you can do except bid your time. It will pass.

ebbie22 · 15/01/2006 00:22

He just screams and screams,doesnt want skin to skin,although Loves it any other time.....Am going to read up on colic...Although he just woke up,saw he was rooting and fed him b4 he started,had his first boob,winded him,dh changed bum,second boob,kisses,straight in his bounchy chair,straight to sleap....
Must get some too,as no chance in day,what with dd,and housework....unfortantly chores dont wait just because a baby is born,though nice idea....

On another note,he seems to be straining all the time...hummmm

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expatinscotland · 15/01/2006 00:08

have you tried talking to him or reading to him? babies can hear their mums voices in the womb.

just tonight, roisin was so upset. she was windy as well. i settled her upright a bit in the crook of my arm and just told her how i understood how upset she was, that it just isn't right that babies should have to go thru all this, yadda yadda yadda. she looked and looked at me, and i think i may have even seen the beginnings of a smile, but she settled after a bit and drifted off to sleep.

try sleeping w/him next to you, in a moses basket if you prefer, and rest your hand lightly on him or just put it in his basket so he knows you're there.

bonkerz · 14/01/2006 23:48

I posted this on december thread too!!
Please dont think you are failing! I only managed 2 weeks breast feeding and totally admire how well you are doing!
Definately sounds like Jack could have colic? Alex has not been settling for a few nights and appearing to want to be fed and also just being generally miserable and not settling despite being fed! Last night we gave in and gave her 5 ml of gripe water and the change was almost instant. After about 15 mins of wind escaping from everywhere she was calm and the best bit was that she fed at 10.30 and then at 2.30, 5,30 and slept till 9.30 which is better than ever!! She settled straight back down after each feed which meant i got spoilt for sleep last night! Needless to say have done same tonight!

Yummymummy24 · 14/01/2006 23:47

yeah get your hv to show baby massage it works flippin wonders!!!

mears · 14/01/2006 23:41

Do you ever just have him lying next to you skin-to-skin Ebbie? He may not actually need to be on the breast all the time and will settle when cuddled this way. He sounds perfectly normal I have to say. Babies love to be connected to their mums and it is useful to remember that the breast gives more that just milk - it is a source of great comfort. Sucking is soothing and it is lovely for him to listen to your heartbeat. He can also have skin-to-skin cuddles with Dad remember. You are doing a great job by the sounds of things. Make sure you try and get a sleep in the afternoon to catch up on sleep - that is the biggest area of neglect with a youing baby. When you are tired, rationality goes out of the window. Your milk is the best thing for him

suzi2 · 14/01/2006 23:38

Computer ate my reply

Shortened version is DS was like this. Still is quite windy (now 5 months). We tried a few colic remedies. Colief drops worked really well and helped him quite a bit. A fiddle to use when breastfeeding and expensive. Although if your GP is nice they'll prescribe them. You can buy them from Boots but it may be worth trying the cheaper things first like Colicynth homeopathic granules (ask at Boots), Infacol or Gripe water.

Good luck - it will pass, I promise, but may take a while. You could also try some tummy massage too. You need to do it when your baby isn't screaming. i.e. when their tummy muscles are relaxed. massage in a clockwise motion in an n shape. Up the left side, over the top of the tummy (level with lowest ribs) and down the righ side.

ebbie22 · 14/01/2006 23:35

I love bf,i love the bond we have and the time i get to spend with him,without dd feeling left out...And wouldnt dream of giving up yet without a fight,that said i dont want to bf for longer than 6 months if i dont have to[just personal choice for me}and its nice[Great in fact]TO GET DECENT ADVICE AS NOONE I KNOW OUT OF MY FRIENDS REALLY ENJOYED BREAST FEEDING,ALTHOUGH SOME ARE WILLING TO CONVERT WITH THERE SECOND ONES....sorry for shouting but takes so long to type be dammed if i have to ...Its nice to know that my milk supply is still gd,i did think it was as leak like anything,but i guess i just worry..

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Yummymummy24 · 14/01/2006 23:24

Hello there havent read all the thread so if i'm repeating please ecuse me. High pitched cry is a pain cry so i think colic defo. Is he pulling his legs up to his tummy? Thats another sign of colic. And as for the feeding a lot it will probly only last a week its just a growth spurt they do have them at this time. I nearly stopped bf thought milk had run out but he was just growing be prepared for sleepless week but dont panic. Its so hard at first my boobs were agony each nipple was a scab!!! Good luck xxxx

arizona · 14/01/2006 23:24

Sorry. That was supposed to be a smiley face. Dur!

starlover · 14/01/2006 23:23

no-one really knows why colic occurs... it used to be thought it was wind, but from what i read it is not just described as "unexplainable crying"
not really much help is it? and yes, it can just stop and start!

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arizona · 14/01/2006 23:22

Think in a few weeks you won't even remember this ebbie. Someone once said to me 'everything's a phase'. It's so true (smile)

ebbie22 · 14/01/2006 23:19

havent tried anything but infalcol,but even then havent really tried it as keep bloody forgetting,can colic start and stop just like that then??And why is it only at night????

Thanks for All of your help and anymore gratly appreciated,though little chomper is still asleap and boobs are feeling heavy.....lol

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starlover · 14/01/2006 23:17

have you considered seeing an osteopath with him?
i cannot speak highly enough of them, and i know others on here will say the same...

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