Made to feel like a freak

[nancerama]

There may be elements of TMI. Applogies in advance. Also this may not be the best place for this, but as it's related to BF I figured I would get some sympathy here.

DS is 7 months old. I went to the doctors for a smear test again today. Saw the same nurse that messed up performed one 3 months ago and was there for a recall because of inconclusive results.

First question she asked was the date of my LMP. I told her I couldn't tell her, but it was well over a year ago. She looked at me very strangely and told me that this was absolutely not normal and I should make a GP appointment immediately. I told her I was unconcerned as I had a 7 month old baby. She had my notes in front of her, she knew this. She told me that I should have restarted "months ago" and that this was definitely cause for concern. I told her that I was still breastfeeding and was under the impression that it was normal not to have a period whilst still feeding.

She looked at me, snorted, and said "how unusual".

I'm probably a bit hormonal and overreacting, but I found her attitude and demeanour very disappointing and unsupportive of my decision to keep feeding my baby.

As an aside, the whole smear process was also conducted in a very unsympathetic manner. She stood by me while I undressed, didn't give me a sheet to cover my modesty, and didn't use any lubricant. I can't remember if this is normal or not. All my antenatal examinations were so much more dignified.

Sorry. That was long.

Very odd. Not restarting periods while breastfeeding is absolutely normal. She sounds very ill-informed, quite apart from unsympathetic (and possibly incompetent, if she messed up the previous smear). I would write to your GP about it.

She is insane. Agree with exexpat - not restarting periods while bfing is tottally normal. Mine didn't start till a year and 10 months after each of my dc, respectively.

Sounds like she was disrespectful and nasty during the smear as well - I can remember how uncomfortable my first smear was after childbirth :( I'd write to your GP practice to complain.

Oh dear, that sounds awful. Re periods that's quite normal not to have one if you are bf. also sounds like she was inappropriate in her treatment if you came out feeling like that, esp the standing by you when getting ready and no sheet, not that I care if they do that but I want the option. You can write to the practice manager or pals to complain.

I hope this one comes ok so you don't have to have another one for 3 years.

No periods totally normal, and not unusual to be bfeeding a 7month old either. I think you should complain, and suggest the nurse needs further training on postpartum reproductive health.

My 1st period after having my DD started on her 1st birthday. It sounds like this nurse needs reminding that it's not unusual for periods not to return for a while when BF. Her treatment of you during your smear is awful too so I agree with other posters and think you should complain to the practice manager.

That sounds horrible :( Is she the only nurse?

I agree with starboo. I'd make a complaint.

What a load of rubbish. I am on your behalf.

What an idiot nurse. Completely uninformed. Make a complaint, definitely. Save another woman from this sort of trearment. Well done on the bf too :)

OP, not TMI at all...this is ill-informed and very unprofessional, particularly given that this nurse was tasked with doing a test related to women's health. And particularly bonkers when you consider that breast cancer risk reduces the longer a woman breastfeeds for.....

Thanks ladies. You've made me feel much better. Thank goodness I wasn't over reacting.

To be clear, she thought it was odd that I was breast feeding - not sure whether she finds breast feeding odd, or whether she thinks I don't look like a breast feeder, or whether she thinks that my milk should have miraculously dried up at 6 months... Anyhow, she has offended me in more ways than one, and I feel quite justified in writing a letter of complaint.

She's going to continue to find me odd. I have no intention of giving up any time soon.

On the flip side I had an appointment with my GP this week also (am getting my money's worth out of the NHS this week). Her response to me still breast feeding was "well done - a lot of people don't make it that far. Keep it up!". What a difference!

I also had a moment today, which is appropriate to share. I went to the apple store today to pick up my sick laptop which had been repaired by their "geniuses".

I was asked to turn it on and check it was all working. Being an organised sort, I have my whole life synced to my laptop and iPhone. As soon as I'd logged on a box popped up on my screen announcing SMEAR TEST to the poor genius.

I think it's safer for me not to leave the house for a few days!

Yes do complain, she sounds thoroughly unpleasant.

On the other hand I wouldn't rely on BF as a contraceptive. Maybe that's what she meant

What a dick she is OP. Take no notice of her. My dd2 is 16 mo and I still haven't had a period yet. I had an xray recently and they had to do a pregnancy test on me because I hadn't had a period for so long, even though being pregnant right now would be the immaculate conception! The nurse was a bit huffy about it too.

She sounds awful...rude, unsympathetic, OTOH I am quite insanely jealous of no periods at 7 mo (or even 16, petisa ) DD is nearly 8 mo and ebf (mostly all bleeding night too) and my periods came back at 11 weeks grr.

I've had 2 periods in 5 years thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding! DS2 is 19 months and I still haven't had a post-birth period.

SHE IS WRONG AND DERANGED.

That nurse sounds like an utter loony! Definitely complain. It's hard enough for women to pluck up the courage to have a smear without having to face idiots like her.

She sounds like a PITA. Definitely complain.
TBH I thought that having smear tests within 6 months of birth gave an increased chance of having inconclusive results. At my surgery smears aren't carried out until after 6 months in order to minimize the possible upset of getting an odd result due to having recently given birth.

Good Lord! I had a slight eye brow raise when my periods hadn't returned after 15 month of BF, but I accept that this is unusual in this country. She was then totally supportive.

Of course you should have a modesty sheet and lubricant. What a cow bag.

did she actually say you were weird? only ask as sometimes we expect some comment and take it the wrong way. statistically, you are uncommon.

i've had hcps raise their eyebrows at feeding over two and feeding while pregnant, but always took it in the spirit of 'you're unusual', rather than 'you weird overbearing hippy mum'

oh, i had no periods for 26 months! then pregnant again month after. maybe i can keep going until menopause!

I could of written this! I went for a smear test when DS was 5 months and was asked about my periods. Told her before DS, was told that's not normal. Told her I was still breastfeeding, same response. I just found it odd that a nurse who does smear tests doesn't know this!

She was rude about the breastfeeding. She should have given you privacy to get changed and something to cover yourself.

I would complain strongly.