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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Made to feel like a freak

36 replies

nancerama · 05/01/2012 12:16

There may be elements of TMI. Applogies in advance. Also this may not be the best place for this, but as it's related to BF I figured I would get some sympathy here.

DS is 7 months old. I went to the doctors for a smear test again today. Saw the same nurse that messed up performed one 3 months ago and was there for a recall because of inconclusive results.

First question she asked was the date of my LMP. I told her I couldn't tell her, but it was well over a year ago. She looked at me very strangely and told me that this was absolutely not normal and I should make a GP appointment immediately. I told her I was unconcerned as I had a 7 month old baby. She had my notes in front of her, she knew this. She told me that I should have restarted "months ago" and that this was definitely cause for concern. I told her that I was still breastfeeding and was under the impression that it was normal not to have a period whilst still feeding.

She looked at me, snorted, and said "how unusual".

I'm probably a bit hormonal and overreacting, but I found her attitude and demeanour very disappointing and unsupportive of my decision to keep feeding my baby.

As an aside, the whole smear process was also conducted in a very unsympathetic manner. She stood by me while I undressed, didn't give me a sheet to cover my modesty, and didn't use any lubricant. I can't remember if this is normal or not. All my antenatal examinations were so much more dignified.

OP posts:
100years · 11/01/2012 16:19

OP have you made a complaint? How are you doing now.

I had mine done today, nurse asked when lmp was, I said, she said 'you're bf right?' 'yep' I said she said cool I'll put that on the form. Easy as that. No more questions or comments on it. My LO is 4 months so not as old as yours but I thought of you when she was so nice. I hope you get some answers and an apology

Quenelle · 11/01/2012 16:27

I didn't have a period until DS was a year old.

She sounds ill-informed and rude. Please complain about her.

WoTmania · 11/01/2012 16:28

Yup she is wrong but these misconceptions exist unfortunately - I had a hard time explaining to the scan people both subsequent pregnancies that I didn't know how far along was because I hadn't had a period between pregnanices. DC3 was 19 months when my periods returned 5.6 years after my last previous period Grin

Please complain; if nothing else her attitude towards patients needs sorting out.

craziedaisy · 11/01/2012 20:46

Sounds like you had a very strange nurse. When I went for my smear test when my son was 10months old and said I was still breast feeding she replied " lucky baby to have such a good mummy". Then when I went back to have a smear test with a different nurse 3 years later when my daughter was a year old and still breastfed, the nurse said " ah I still had feed my daughter in the night when she was 12 months old". You are prefectly normal.

nancerama · 13/01/2012 16:29

Hi ladies

Thank you again for all your support and friendly words. I've made a formal complaint about the nurse - I'm not sure if anything will come of it, and in all honesty I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to the nurse. I'm hoping she will be given some up to date training so that no one else is made to feel the way I was.

It never ceases to amaze me how many women are given outdated, incorrect and downright dangerous information by some of these so called qualified professionals. As so few people complain, these things are never picked up on. Perhaps we could all make it our new year resolution to complain when we aren't getting the best service from our GP/midwife /health visitor/nurse. The NHS is a wonderful thing with some amazing people, but it is let down by a few poor practitioners.

OP posts:
nancerama · 06/02/2012 16:09

Hello again

Today I've received a response to my complaint. Amusingly the nurse claims that this was a "misunderstanding" and that in fact it was she who told me that it's normal for my periods not to have returned! Apparently due to the new method of taking smears, lubricant an no longer be used (as I'm no medical expert, I'm in no position to question this one), and modesty sheets aren't used "for hygiene reasons". I shan't be responding to their letter, but I do hope that my letter might make her reconsider her attitude a little.

To add insult to injury though, the letter was sent without a stamp, so I had to pay £ 1.36 for the privilege.

OP posts:
Punchthosecalories · 06/02/2012 16:16

What an awful experience :(

UnnamedFemaleProtagonist · 06/02/2012 16:18

I have 6 monthly smears. They use lubricant and a modesty sheet every time. Unless this is something peculiar to your health authority they are talking bollocks.

Rowbot · 06/02/2012 19:40

Hey nancerama, sorry you have had that pathetic response Sad. Im not medically trained to question the lubricant either, but certainly I had a modesty sheet. And the nurse lying that it was she who told you no periods was normal! Very poor response Angry.

Snusmumriken · 06/02/2012 20:28

I am so sorry this happened to you.

She was horrible, please complain. We have a right to expect to be cared for by sympathetic and well informed health care providers.

Snusmumriken · 06/02/2012 20:31

Sorry, I posted before I read the 2nd page of comments.

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