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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Stupid question about breastfeeding

44 replies

Rhinestone · 22/12/2011 19:18

Ok, stupid question coming up but it's a genuine one borne of a desire to learn so please don't flame me.

Before I ask the question I'll say that I'm very much intending to bf DC1 (due end of July) but have no judgement or criticism of other people's choices on the bf / ff debate.

The question is this -

Breastfeeding is perfectly natural and was around for thousands of years before the modern world. So why do we need lessons / lactation consultants / La Leche League etc? Confused Isn't it rather obvious what you do? And doesn't it come naturally? You don't hear of animals needing lessons so what's different with humans?

As I said, this really is a genuine question and something I've always wanted to ask but been afraid to IRL. Thanks!

OP posts:
TruthSweet · 22/12/2011 19:23

How many women have you seen bf, up close so you can actually see baby latch on, observe a full feed with sides swapped, etc, etc?

In more 'primitive' or shall we say less inhibited societies you might have seen that happen hundreds of times before having your own baby.

Draw your own conclusions about why we need to be taught.....

discrete · 22/12/2011 19:23

No, it's not obvious or easy and actually animals do need lessons - monkeys and apes brought up away from their peers have enormous trouble with childrearing and often have to have their babies taken away from them as they are unable to take adequate care of them.

Before the modern world women had a network of supportive older women (sisters, mothers, gms, etc.) who had done it before and could teach them how to do it. We have lost that now, (mostly) so have had to replace it with LLL, lactation consultants, etc.

organiccarrotcake · 22/12/2011 19:24

rhinestone

There is no such thing as a stupid question about breastfeeding. The point of this board is to come and ask things that you may not be able to elsewhere.

Breastfeeding has been undermined in so many ways in our modern world. Bottles are seen as the norm, and all we tend to see is bottle fed babies which are often held differently to a breastfed baby (and the "hold" or "position" is really important). We don't have our mothers and sisters to tweak our position, which can be the difference between it working or not, because mostly our mothers and sisters haven't breastfed.

Many parents - and their friends and family - don't understand normal baby behaviour which leads them to believe that a baby is "doing something" because he's breastfed - without recognition that the behaviour is actually normal, there fore a reason, and that formula may artificially be interferring with it.

Higher order animals do often need lessons. Many female primates who are isolated from their peer groups and who don't see lactacting peers find it hard to feed their babies :(

organiccarrotcake · 22/12/2011 19:25

Sorry X-post there with the last two posters!

FriggFRIGGYPudding · 22/12/2011 19:25

Well years ago,you would have watched your mother,sisters,aunts and friends breastfeeding their children,it would have been an everyday thing.

And I'll bet their was the odd feeding problem anyway,sorted by the local midwife,or your mum,aunt,friend etc...

It's just now it's a job,not something you just ask anyone about,because our culture is no longer expert on the subject,
which is sad IMO.

FriggFRIGGYPudding · 22/12/2011 19:26

Another x post,to slow at typing !

Original poster
Rhinestone · 22/12/2011 19:26

Truthsweet well quite a few actually, close friends etc and my mother with younger siblings.

See, your responses sound slightly defensive which is what I was afraid of!

OP posts:
pinkyp · 22/12/2011 19:26

Imagine bf for 2 years in agony everytime you feed, all because you didn't get you latch properly.

StealthPolarBear · 22/12/2011 19:27

the one thing I think helped me was watching someone up close (she offered) latching her baby on. It was all a bit of a mystery until then. Reading books helps but there's no substitute for seeing it done. I was amazed that she was feeding such an old baby - 8 or so months Xmas Grin

organiccarrotcake · 22/12/2011 19:27

rhinestone I can speak for Truthsweet to say she's not being defensive (and if you want any support, she's brilliant at it :) )

organiccarrotcake · 22/12/2011 19:28

PMSL polar. 8 months?? Really? Grin

StealthPolarBear · 22/12/2011 19:29

Yes - shouldn't be allowed once they can hold their own heads up should it?

organiccarrotcake · 22/12/2011 19:29

stealthpolar is soooo right. Seeing it up close is really important. Tiz entirely why I'm pregnant again, to have a model for my breastfeeding groups Grin. No other reason at all.

FriggFRIGGYPudding · 22/12/2011 19:29

I didn't mean to come across that way! I'm sorry!

I'm just tying with a rather large baby latched on Grin

organiccarrotcake · 22/12/2011 19:30

PMSL again (bloody stop it woman).

Original poster
Rhinestone · 22/12/2011 19:30

The 'slightly defensive' comment was to Truthsweet and discrete.

Thanks organiccarrotcake. By the way I'm not implying that people are somehow idiots if they're having a problem. Just genuinely intrigued and always been afraid to ask the question as anything to do with bf seems fraught with etiquette.

OP posts:
FriggFRIGGYPudding · 22/12/2011 19:31

Tying = typing,one Handed obv's....chubby 15 month old has made my other arm go numb Grin

organiccarrotcake · 22/12/2011 19:32

You know, and in all seriousness, you're right, lots of things to do with BF can kick off in ways you never expect. But you absolutely, absolutely must post questions here at any time and please ignore our jesting. It's brilliant that you're asking. Also please feel free to PM me at any time if you feel uncomfortable about a question (and I know other supporters are happy with this too).

organiccarrotcake · 22/12/2011 19:34

Shock @ you frigg. A breastfeeding 15 month old?

discrete · 22/12/2011 19:34

Not feeling even vaguely defensive, just answering the questions as you asked them. Why do you think the answers sounded defensive?

You may be lucky enough to have plenty of knowledgeable support around you to help you establish bf. If so, you are both lucky and unusual. The rest of us have to resort to specialists for support.

I had seen loads of women bfing close up when I was a child, but that was no help when struggling to bf ds1, as none of them were around then...

organiccarrotcake · 22/12/2011 19:35

Seriously, once again (I can be, really).

rhinestone no one has intended to be defensive, but it does feel like a minefield, doesn't it. But also do remember that tone intention can't always be read accurately on a talk board :)

I think it's an excellent question, personally.

organiccarrotcake · 22/12/2011 19:36

discrete that's really interesting. May I ask where you saw lots of ppl BFing as a child? Obviously it's unusual to have seen that, and noticed you'd seen it, IYSWIM.

discrete · 22/12/2011 19:39

South America. Large extended family, everyone bf (but only for 3-6 months max, usually, then solids and cow's milk (with sugar)! Shock)

Original poster
Rhinestone · 22/12/2011 19:40

OK, I misinterpreted! Probably because I was slightly scared of even asking the question in the first place.

Thank you for the responses. I guess I'll find out what it's actually like in 7 months.

OP posts:
discrete · 22/12/2011 19:43

Well, with a bit of luck you will be one of the ones whose babies will latch on like a dream and feed and gain weight beautifully from day one! There are those around, you just don't hear about them as much I guess.