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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

How do I get out of the house?!

35 replies

BabCNesbitt · 19/12/2011 11:56

I've already asked a few stupid questions on this board, but this seems like the stupidest. DD is 7 weeks old, and I feel like I can't leave the house on my own for more than the time it takes to dash round the local supermarket, in case she needs to eat.

I've tried feeding in public a few times, but always with DH around, and each time it's been a struggle. At home, I use a breastfeeding pillow as I can't figure out how to support her without one, but obviously I can't lug around a lifebelt-sized wedge all the time. Without the pillow, my wrists hurt trying to hold her (she falls off the tit if I don't hold her head in place) and I wind up curling forward, killing my back. Supporting the back of her neck seems to twist her body around, and I'm worried about hurting her. And I have no hands free, because I need to hold up my saggy bap up for her with the other hand, which makes me worry about people walking off with my bag if I'm out on my own! She also tends to pull off every thirty seconds, leaving my nipple hanging out in the breeze and putting paid to any hope of discreet feeding.

I know I must be doing something wrong, but for the life of me I can't figure out how I can actually get out of the house for more than half an hour. (Have tried bottles of expressed milk - no good, she hated them!) I've only been out twice in the last week, both times to the doctor, so any suggestions would be really helpful!

(Sorry about the rant... )

OP posts:
LoopyLoopsWoopDeWoops · 19/12/2011 11:59

I was going to post a useful reply but want confirmation that you are actually a woman, what with 'tit' and 'saggy bap' and all. Hmm

Original poster
BabCNesbitt · 19/12/2011 12:11

Eh? Do women not use these words? Hmm Yes, I am a woman, last time I checked.

OP posts:
Original poster
BabCNesbitt · 19/12/2011 12:12

(I was a semi-regular poster on the October antenatal bus, if that helps.)

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 19/12/2011 12:27

practice at home,

the worst position is leaning forward, you'll kill your back.
sit on the sofa, lean back so you're comfortable and then bring baby up to the breast. she ought to be able to latch on by herself?

TruthSweet · 19/12/2011 12:30

Have you tried using your change bag as an impromptu nursing pillow or one of the pram blankets/zipped off cosy toes front rolled up?

You could also try raising your knee under her head by propping your foot up on the pram frame.

Or when at home try nursing in different positions with out the cushion to see what's easiest.

InvaderZim · 19/12/2011 12:40

It does get easier as they get older, I promise! As someone who had an October baby last year, I was eternally grateful for winter with a small baby- I used my coat as a cushion when out and about. Try to get yourself to places where you can feed in public with other new mums, that helped me gain confidence. (Big Scream cinema was great because it's dark and lots of other mums are feeding too.)

Also scope out seating in different cafes, I liked the giant armchairs tucked in a corner. 7 weeks is still so new for both of you, though! Once LO has a bit more head control feeding in general will be loads easier.

InvaderZim · 19/12/2011 12:42

Also, if all else fails, just stuff your feeding cushion under the pushchair and use it while oot and aboot.

LittleCatonkeyonadustyroad · 19/12/2011 12:43

try a sling wrap, I was a late convert (DD was 4 months by the time I got one and I'd pretty much got it sorted by then) but in hindsight it would have made life so much easier! I got a second hand Moby wrap for 15quid of Gumtree, but they are pretty easy to make yourself, check out youtube for how to make your own.

mistressploppy · 19/12/2011 12:44

Good advice here already, I just wanted to come on and say I totally remember this! You're not alone.

Loopy - why?

Original poster
BabCNesbitt · 19/12/2011 12:53

Yeah, I have tried to practise at home without the cushion, but it always becomes too painful on my wrist holding her head in place, and I still have to support the breast she feeds from with my hand because otherwise it just sort of slides out of her mouth. (I don't have a change bag yet - just my old handbag and a tote with the stuff for changing her - and she's in a sling at the moment.)

I'm not sure what you mean, thisisyesterday, by latch on by herself? I need to lift up my breast so that the nipple isn't pointing downwards, then I try to bring her on to the breast when her mouth's open, but I always have to look and check that she's in the right place (so feeding under a scarf or shawl isn't an option).

Sorry, I feel ridiculous that this is even a problem, but I just can't seem to get it!

OP posts:
Original poster
BabCNesbitt · 19/12/2011 12:57

Sorry, just saw the other posts! Thanks for reassuring that it gets easier! LittleCat, is it possible to feed in a sling if you've got bigger boobs? (I wanted to ask about the boob size issue generally in my last post, but if people thought I was a creepy bloke then I thought asking about that might confirm their suspicions... )

OP posts:
Iggly · 19/12/2011 12:58

Get yourself a massive muslin/scarf or cover to help with discretion.

Get thee to a bf group who can help you with positioning. I speak from experience - you think you're doing it well but someone experienced watching can tweak the smallest things and hey presto you can do it! Your supporting arm should run along her spine keeping her straight - you have your hand on her shoulders, less on her neck or head. Someone needs to show you really.

I did chuckle at your description - it's not funny but I remember the utter fear of feeding in public - still get it and I'm on dc2.

JoneseyA · 19/12/2011 13:00

I recommend going to one of the breast feeding support groups. The women there are really helpful and can give you tips on what to do. Can't remember the website but am sure it's on Google.

LittleCatonkeyonadustyroad · 19/12/2011 13:05

Well I'm usually around a 38E but grew FF ginormaboobs while feeding! I found it pretty easy to do, but we did have a pretty good technique by then anyway. The closeness of baby to you in the sling sort of supports your boob as well as the baby if that makes sense. If you already have a wrap sling give it a go at home. I did it by putting DD in a cradle hold, sort of lift my breast so she could latch on, then cover her with the fabric and she'd feed quite happily. Once you've got it sorted you can even wander round the shops while she's feeding, loads easier :)

I miss breast feeding :( but still use my Moby for lots of cuddles while we're out and about

idlevice · 19/12/2011 13:19

Second the advice to try a bf group/counsellor to see if you can get a better position - this might improve as babe gets stronger, but with particularly-shaped breasts it can be impossible to feed without hand-supporting the breast. Also they might be able to advise further on taking EBM (did you make sure you weren't around when trying the bottle & temp was right? different teat/bottle designs can sometimes work).

I used a portable self-inflating cushion for out & about feeding, still fairly bulky to carry around though & I did end up usually using a feeding room. You can use a rolled up flannel or the like under the breast to try to get a better latch position, or there is a product called the Booby Booster which attaches to your bra to help with bigger breasts. I have got one to try in a few weeks time as I developed painful De Quervain's syndrome last time from hand-supporting when feeding, needing splints & steroid injections to treat.

There are many different types of sling to try but I think if you have a particular shape boob then not much can help, esp when large - people always say the baby covers you up but if you have to get in a certain position involving hand support, angle, etc that you can't help being more exposed than those who just pop babe on whilst drinking coffee, texting, etc..the lucky so and sos!

Original poster
BabCNesbitt · 19/12/2011 13:32

idlevice, exactly! I've seen women at the BF cafe doing that and wondering how the heck they manage it! Will try and get back to another BF group after Xmas - when I went, it was solely to check on her tongue tie and they didn't check for positioning.

Iggly, if your hand is on their shoulders, how do you stop their head lolling (when they're still too little to control their neck)? If I don't hold her neck and stretch out fingers to support her head, her head just drops down - or is this just something that comes when their necks are stronger?

Thanks, everyone, for taking the time to reply - I'm really grateful that there are so many people on Mumsnet who'll take the time to respond to a stranger's idiot questions!

OP posts:
Iggly · 19/12/2011 13:36

Your hand is on their shoulders and your thumb and fingers either side of their head near the ears for support, you do it quite gently. It's easier doing it that way because you can keep the spine in line.

Iggly · 19/12/2011 13:43

Useful website

InvaderZim · 19/12/2011 13:57

Oh, and as far as latching on themselves, there seems to be a huge variation in the age at which a baby can do this. At 7 weeks one if my friends' babies was able to latch herself in while I was still just about managing the lip brush-gape-on manoeuvre. At 14 months old DD can latch herself on while doing crazy acrobatics. :)

jobnockey · 19/12/2011 14:18

Just felt compelled to write to offer some sympathy and support... my Ds is nearly 3 yet but i can remember those early weeks and having to time being out of the house around when he would need a feed... that panicky feelingif he started to wake up in a place where i would'nt be able to feed him easily... I never had the ginormous tit problem - 34D was largest i have ever been - whilst BFing - now back to to a (very saggy) 34A again...sigh. anyway where was I? yes... not big boobs but fantastically milky ones which would be prone to squirting milk 6 feet across the room when DS suddently decided to unlatch. Not good in the local cafe! I hated feeding in public at first... But, it is true it does become so much easier with time. 7 weeks is still so new. You will prefect a ?hold? and before long you?ll be able to do it without even thinking about it. Sorry I know this isn?t practical help but I just wanted you to know it does get better!!!

JumpinJellyBeansOnToast · 19/12/2011 14:35

This is very unpopular on MN but I use a nursing cover. DS pulls off to say hello any moving object when feeding and the nursing cover allows me to feed without worrying about exposing myself, milk spraying everyone and reduces distractions for him. There is a D shaped stiff opening at the top so you can keep eye contact with your baby and we also use it as an extra blanket/pillow/emergency muslin when out and about.

Shenanagins · 19/12/2011 15:22

Big department stores like M&S, Debenhams, John Lewis tend to have excellent baby feeding facilities in the baby changing rooms. They will provide you with some privacy for bf when out and about.

Just try to remember that with help from your local bf support group it will get easier.

LoopyLoopsWoopDeWoops · 19/12/2011 16:04

Just wanted to say sorry, was having a grumpy day. Blush

It honestly does get much better. I also found a nursing cover really useful first time round.

Fresh01 · 19/12/2011 16:05

A few ideas, put your bag between your feet so that no-one can walk away with it. Or put it in the pram next you.

Are you wearing two layers of tops? I found wearing a vest with elastic type straps under a normal top meant you lifted the normal top up and pushed the vest top down under the boob you were going to feed from. Limits the amount of skin you can expose and means that your tummy is covered so you feel less vunerable.

You can always go back to your car to feed, it has a comfy seat, heating and the radio. Saves always having to feel you have to go home.

Is your baby long enough yet that their bum could rest on you knees? You still support their head but a lot of their body weight is taken on your knees hence saving your wrist.

Practise at home without the pillow to assist you. And take advantage of your DH having time off over x-mas to practise with some moral support. I mastered feeding in public when my in-laws visited when DC1 was 7-9 weeks old.

hefner · 19/12/2011 16:39

I use several of the ideas Fresh suggested, like top up and vest down (M&S sell vests with very stretchy straps that are brilliant for this). At 7 weeks I had to position DD carefully with both hands but it got much easier. If your nipple points down you might find it easier to leave the breast where it is and bring the baby up from underneath slightly tilted on to their back. Doing it this way you can also rest most of their weight on your lap and just support their neck and shoulders.