Keep considering giving up...fed up need pep talk please...

[roz1982]

Hi all

Have been beast feeding my 3 week old ds and am getting progressively more fed up with continuing problems and feeling uncomfortable/in pain. Have hd the usual problems with latch and soreness and although this seemed to sort o
Itself out and no longer hurt, the problem has returned. Thinks its because ds can be really fidgety and fussy and quite aggressive at the breast, coming on and off alot. This causes havoc with nipples. Also, my breasts just seem to ache constantly, I definitely produce alot of milk and often have to express to be comfortable

. I am also still in pain from c section and am just fed up of being in pain and uncomfortable!! We sometime give ds expressed breast milk and the occasional formula feed if breasts are too sore but I woke up this morning just feeling like ive had enough. Any advice? Or just similar stories/a bit of understanding would be great x

I was in the same boat as you. With dd1 I nearly gave up as I had sore boobs and I was also sore from the csection. I did get through it and breast fed for 4 months. Just take it very easy and do nothing much but rest and feed. All the other stuff can wait...

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I had the same sort of experience, was starting to really hate breastfeeding and was so uncomfortable but it does get better, I promise. I nearly gave up after 2 months but DS is 8 mo now and I'm still going.

Do you have a breastfeeding consultant you can talk to? I was encouraged to see one that holds drop in sessions at the local sure start children's centre, she's helped so many of us (including most of the group of us that met through Antenatal classes)

It's so hard and so tiring, if you want to keep going then your midwife or health visitor might be able to help you but it is ok to say "I can't do this", your baby will be just as happy and healthy with formula if you want to or need to give up. You have to do what's right for you.

Take care xxx

It can be bloody hard in the early weeks and months.

I'd second speaking to a BF counsellor - your HV might have details of a local support group or you could try the NCT or LLL helplines.

If you're producing too much milk, expressing will make it worse in the long run so discuss how to reduce this. I have over supply and won't express in the first couple of months while my supply is established because it puts my boobs out of kilter!

If you have a milk over supply (which tends to occur with an overactive letdown, where your milk shoots out), your baby can struggle with the flow and take down wind which causes discomfort. Baby might choke or gasp frequently. DD does this and comes on and off if she's tired. When she's calmer, we can both deal with it (so I make sure her latch is ok and she's positioned above the boob so can deal with the flow).
However saying that, feeding when baby is tired or too hungry can also cause difficulties as baby is crying or wound up, doesn't feed properly then can fall asleep and want more a bit later. So try and catch hunger signs earlier if you can and keep baby close to you. If they fall asleep during a feed, don't take them off straight away as they may want more.

I think establishing bf can be tough because our expectations don't match the reality. Also the challenges of having a newborn coupled with starting bf combined are hard. A lot of newborn behaviour (fussing, waking up loads etc) come from them being new babies not how they're fed.

Try and get plenty of rest in the day - baby naps, you nap. Do not feel obliged to be doing all sorts - that can come later.

The early weeks are tough. Have you got some RL support? A group or something you can go to? For the pain, you can take paracetomol. Also allowing 'air time' for your nipples can help them stop being so sore. This is the technique I used after feeds: apply milk to entire nipple, allow to dry for 10 minutes, apply lansinoh to entire nipple, allow to dry for as long as you can stand to have your boobs out.

Also chocolate cake and a glass of wine will make the world seem a much better place, especially for those evenings when baby is permanently attached.

The true benefits of breastfeeding will begin to show in just another couple of weeks. That's when you will be allowed to feel a little bit smug (yes you are!) that you've made it through and feel sorry for those mums who have to do all that faff with sterilising and make up bottles in the middle of the night.

The 20 minutes extra sleep that bf mums get is extremely precious - it's your reward for making it through the tough times.

Snap to the OP. My LO is 4 weeks old tomorrow and I'm now just about coping with the pain from the c-section and starting to feel a tiny bit more normal but I'm finding it hard to take things easy.

LO seems to be so hungry in the evenings and I'm now running low on my expressed supply that we use when my boobs haven't caught up yet and she's screaming for more.

This is truly one of the hardest things ever!!!

showtunes being hungry in the evening is normal - but so tough to get through :( Hard as it is, ideally it's best to just keep feeding through it if you can, swapping from one breast to another no matter how low on milk they feel rather than topping up with expressed milk (unless of course you need to do so for a break/bath etc). Although it's really hard and stressful it's important to keep the stimulation going to get your milk supply really kick started. You've got the 6 week growth spurt coming up and you might find that you're feeding pretty much all the time. But get past that and things will settle down much more and you'll find the evenings start to get much better.

The problem is that I am feeding her on both breasts and then she starts to cry and hit me and demands more. I keep feeding her again and again on both breasts and then she gets so distressed and I'm in tears too that I then get out the expressed milk. This usually means that she then goes to sleep for two hours and I get enough time to actually make her enough milk. I'm not offering the expressed milk as a first resort but only after hours of her trying to get milk out after she's got all she can out of them and there's no more. :(

Have you tried a dummy? If your daughter is one of those babies that needs a lot of "sucky" comfort, a dummy can be a real life saver and give your boobs a much needed break. My OH taught me a trick - when you pop it in keep tapping it gently. For some reason it stops them spitting it out.

showtunesgirl it's so frustrating isn't it :( But you are always making milk, and in fact the "emptier" your breasts are, the faster they're making milk. And this process, while really hard, is telling your breasts to make, make, make.

The hitting thing is the worst part, I feel. It feels like rejection and anger (although of course it's not). I really do sympathise and you need to do what you need to do to get through, but understanding that your breasts are always making milk and the more she's feeding like this the faster you'll get to the point where things will settle down may help you to just keep on persevering. It will get better, it really will, and in just a very short time.

If you can power through using the advice above it really really pays off. For example my baby and I both have colds and we both feel pretty sorry for ourselves. We're on the sofa and she's dozing and latching herself on every so often when she wants a snack or extra comfort. So much easier than having to make bottles all the time.

I agree that it is worth hanging in there. I only managed 4 weeks with DS1 and then gave up, but with DS2 we are now at the 7 week mark and its all going well now. I have actually experienced all the same problems that I had with DS1 but this time I have known what to do and been able to resolve things before they got out of hand, do get as much help as you can because addressing issues promptly is key.

So here are the benefits:

-SO much more sleep! Learning to bf lying down changed our life!, now i just fall right back to sleep as soon as he is on. Bliss.

-Freedom - its so much easier to go out of the house, no panicy clock watching, making sure there is boiledwater/sterlised bottle/other paraphenalia all ready for the next feed.

-also there are less wind/puke/constipation issues. Formula gave us lots of other problems to deal with, had to spend hours winding after a feed, went to the doctors several times because of constipation etc.

-nappies dont smell so foul

By the way, if you feel like you have "too much" milk, count that as a good thing, little growth spurts will start soon, and you will sail through them as there will already be plenty of supply there and you wont have to go through the 24 hour feeding sessions in order to build it up to what they need. If baby is popping off, a lot make sure he/she is well winded. I find sometimes that its easier to lay on your back and have them lay on top of you on their tummies and try feeding that way, i have got a few burps out in the middle of feeds that way - two birds with one stone!

good luck, remember you have already given your baby a fantastic start in life by doing this, well done xxx

PS I also had a c-section, and I know it makes trying different holds really hard at first, but very soon it wont hurt anymore and things will be so much better.

Thanks for all the responses and advice...things arent much better at moment, I'm having a day off boobs and giving him expressed milk and a formula feed if he needs it. I feel guilty but my nipples are just so sore. I feel I'm already not making as much milk and he is definitely more unsettled and windy. Feeding is proving to be a bit of a mare at the moment...

The thing is I really do want to breast feed as well. Think I will try and get some proper help as suggested.

Nothing wrong with taking a break and expressing until you are healed. I had to do the same thing early on. I think it helped too, If you lie back while you are doing it, the milk sorts of collects in the pump around the nipple and "bathes it" which will help it heal faster (wont do much from a thrush point of view, but breast milk does help generally soreness)

good luck and chin up! xxx

ooh - sorry about the thrush comment, I am getting my threads mixed up!

I'm feeling quite tearful and trapped right now. When will I actually start to enjoy this?

I've just given her a feed and she seems quite happy but it's when she screams and screams no matter how much I'm putting her on the breast that I can't handle.

Show tunes I really feel for you I'm having such a mare at the moment too. Feeding him just feels like one long teary battle...are you sure shes really hungry? Could it be something else making her scream? Could she be colicky? X

She's making definite feeding gestures and when I put her on the boob, she chomps for England!

I don't feel like my supply is meeting her demand and I'm definitely putting her on the breast as much as possible.

I feel so alone.

Big hugs girls I don't have any magic answers but something I found really helpful in the early days was to put baby in a little swaddle using a muslin cloth so as not too bulky... Really helped with me & baby to get latch sorted & helped keep baby arms and hands away from sore nipples.....I think it also helped calm baby...(bit like being back inside iykwim)
I also second air lanison & a bit of milk

(waves to mummy )

Showtunes I did have this with ds for a few days when he was around two weeks old he was going through a growth spurt and literally fed all night...I got to the point where I couldnt take it anymore ut then it did settle down. Your not alone, so many women, inc me, are having the sames issues and feelings. It's so much harder than I thought it would be...

Sympathies to the two of you, you are doing so well and it's great that you want to persvere.

I really would recommend finding a BF group near you - they will normally be full of lovely ladies who'll make you and help you out.

It does get better.

And how quickly things can change...

I have bitten the bullet today and have been pretty much stuck her on the boob at the slightest moan or whinge. She's now pretty content and in her bouncer and I have Hunter's Chicken in the oven. :o

Yay well done!! I'm still having issues...gonna go docs in morn as I suspect something else is wrong in nipple dept...have had full day off breast now and they are still bright red and really sore...think there might be some kind of infection. Things were going so well and then all of a sudden, they were so sore!! Dh is in kitchen now making up bottles, I've tried to express some but not enough there. Once I'm healed and sorted I wanna try again.

Ow. Soreness is the pits isn't it? Hope everything gets sorted.

Hubby just made a really off colour remark to me. He is SO in the doghouse.

Oh dear!! They must be so careful what they say these days!!! What did he say?? My dh came home the other day and got ds and was saying things like "oh that's a very full nappy isn't it, that needs changing" and "still in this babygro are you son" haha! My response was a scathing "oh I'm doing such a terrible job aren't I a bad mother!!" he didn't mean anything by it but it just sounded terrible to me!