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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

convince me to perservere

37 replies

bonkerz · 28/12/2005 22:01

Please tell me im being over emotional and irrational.

DD was born on 19th December weighing 7lb 4 oz. She didnt feed too good for the first 36 hours then was great at breast feeding for a few days. She has a cold at minute and we have drops for her nose but she has lost 10 oz in 9 days and i feel like im failing her!
So i suppose the question is do i put her on formula in hope she gains weight? I am expressing and she is taking 2 EBM bottles a day plus boob. So should i perservere with breast even though its making me feel bad ( love feeding her but cant stop worrying) or do i go with formula and learn to live with the failure?

OP posts:

brusselsbeansprout · 28/12/2005 22:04

Is your hv any good or can you contact a b/f counsellor? It sounds like you don't really want to stop but just need some support. The cold will make it harder for her to feed but that's ok, she will make up for it when it passes. That's not you letting her down that is just the simple fact that none of us enjoy our food so much when we have a cold. Keep going, you are doing fine!

moondog · 28/12/2005 22:04

Bonkerz,why are you giving her two bottles of EBM out of interest?
From your earlier posts,you sound like you have loads of milk.
Did you bottle feed your first?
Are you underestimating the amount of time she needs to be at the breast do you think?

You sound like you are doing so well.How about giving yourself a week (with a lot more time at the boob) and see how you fell then?

Do you have a b/f counsellor who you could visit??

Pruni · 28/12/2005 22:04

Message withdrawn

thecattleareALOHing · 28/12/2005 22:07

My advice? Stay with the breastfeeding. It is very, very early days for you and this period of breastfeeding is really NOTHING like breastfeeding will be in a few days or weeks for you. And your dd will get over her cold - and your breastmilk is full of antibodies that she really needs right now. Formula has no more calories than breastmilk (very slighter fewer iirc actually) so there is no reason at all why your dd will gain weight faster on formula. How are you feeding her? Are you snuggling up with her and letting her feed at the breast whenever she wants? Why are you expressing and giving a bottle?
Babies do tend to lose weight at first - it's normal and natural and they come with on-board resources so they can healthily do just that. Me, I'd suggest feeding her absolutely on request - go to bed with her, let her feed all the time. Don't time or restrict feeds and let her feed directly rather than expressing and giving milk via a bottle so build up your supply more effectively. When are you next going to have her weighed?

Original poster

bonkerz · 28/12/2005 22:08

midwife advised giving ebm due to her blocked nose and finding it hard to latch on, she is also exhausted from trying to breast feed so easier for her to take bottle. Midwife is due tomorrow but tbh isnt much help with regard brest feeding. When i was in hospital the midwife there told me i was worrying too much because DD does seem contented and is not crying for food etc. My rational voice is telling me she is probably just a very efficient feeder and is taking what she needs no probs but im still panicking about this weight loss.

OP posts:

thecattleareALOHing · 28/12/2005 22:08

Weight loss is NORMAL! But now she should start to regain though her cold won't be helping.

thecattleareALOHing · 28/12/2005 22:09

Is she still happy to breastfeed? I mean to actually latch on?

suzi2 · 28/12/2005 22:10

Bonkerz - keep at it. I worried all the time to start with (usually about weight!) but only now, at 20wks do I feel confident that DS & I know what we're doing!

Like so many have told me on here... trust that your body and your baby know what to do. If she has a cold, she will catch up with her weight when she's feeling better. Simply offer her a feed frequently and spend a few days on the sofa with the sole aim of getting milk into her.

Take it one feed at a time. If she's taking 2 bottles EBM, you must know that she's getting a certain amount. Try to use that for a bit of confidence.

Stick with it - it's fab when it all works out.

Original poster

bonkerz · 28/12/2005 22:10

I am letting her feed when she wants but she is sleeping loads as she is exhausted just trying to breath at the moment. If i left her she would happily sleep 7 hours without a feed.

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moondog · 28/12/2005 22:12

You are doing fantastically well by the way.
We are all here for you when you need us-remember that.
Big gang of women (and the odd hairy handed trucker) cheering you on.
Nice feeling isn't it??

hunkermunker · 28/12/2005 22:14

Bonkerz, think of it this way - if you switch to formula feeding, you'll still worry, but about different things. It's just what mums do about babies, I promise.

Her cold is making it harder for her to feed, but breastmilk's the best thing for her to be receiving. You've had fantastic advice so far - would totally agree with Aloha (as usual ) that going to bed with DD for the day will help, if you can manage that at all - feed her every time she stirs.

And if your midwife suggests topping up with formula, you have my full permission to punch her in the nose

Btw - DS lost a similar amount of weight at first, then went on to pile it all back on again over the next few weeks. It's totally normal for this to happen.

You're doing a brilliant job, honestly.

Original poster

bonkerz · 28/12/2005 22:15

thanks, just need to get over this feeling of failing my daughter i suppose. I always had a view to put DD onto formula by 6 weeks cos im due to start back at work but never imagined iw ould feel so defeated especially whe i managed it for 4 weeks solid with ds

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Original poster

bonkerz · 28/12/2005 22:15

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Original poster

bonkerz · 28/12/2005 22:17

Spent whole day today just me and DD on sofa feeding all day preatty much but do have to wake her to feed and then its only for 10 minutes or so on and off.

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hunkermunker · 28/12/2005 22:18

But you're producing heaps of milk - am sure she's getting all she needs.

You are not failing her.

That deserves saying again.

You are not failing her.

Is she weeing and pooing? Don't make any decisions about her feeding until she's well over her cold, I would say.

thecattleareALOHing · 28/12/2005 22:19

Ok, checked with Kellymom. Normal, average weight loss in a newborn is 5-7% of birthweight. Your dd weighed 116oz so a weight loss of 6-8.2oz is totally average (if my maths is right and it very often isn't!). Your dd has lost 9oz which is the merest smidgen of a fraction more than average - and tbh the difference can easily be accounted for by slightly inaccurate weighing at birth or whenever she was last weighed - or both - and believe me, it does happen.
By two weeks she should have regained her birthweight and she isn't two weeks old yet. Average weight gain for a healthy baby is around 6oz a week on average - so sometimes it will be a bit more sometimes a bit less. TBH I never, ever got dd weighed, and it made my breastfeeding so much less stressful you wouldn't believe it. Just a huge weight off my shoulders.

Original poster

bonkerz · 28/12/2005 22:19

she is the ultiamte poo monster!!! Weeing and pooing loads so not too worried about that and i suppose if i think rationally then her poo and wee is an indicator she is getting enough food, right?

Im so sorry, now realise im a paranoid mum!

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thecattleareALOHing · 28/12/2005 22:22

Ah, your poor dd, she sounds really poorly. So many nasty viruses around atm. Do keep waking her to feed. None of us exactly pile the weight on while we are ill, do we? My 10 month old lost quite a lot of weight recently while struck by vomiting bugs and colds (she looked noticeably thinner) but she's gaining it back now.

thecattleareALOHing · 28/12/2005 22:23

Absolutely, if it's coming out in those quantities, it has to be getting in, eh?

hunkermunker · 28/12/2005 22:25

Sounds like she's getting plenty - but never apologise for not spotting what seems obvious when you're sleep-deprived and 9 days post-delivery! Heck, I'm going to be posting on here about nappies leaking after this baby's born and will have to have it pointed out to me that it's a good plan to put them on the baby's bottom, not the lamp in the bedroom!

thecattleareALOHing · 28/12/2005 22:26

And it is SUCH an emotional time too. You forget that. Hormones flying etc.

Original poster

bonkerz · 28/12/2005 22:26

lol, thanks all, am seeing abit clearer now, well till her next feed anyway!

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hotmulledwinemama · 28/12/2005 22:30

I gave up bf dd because she lost weight after I got home. Dd was 8.10 but was 7.9 by the time we left hospital (after 6 days) - she was a sleepy baby who wasn't bothered about feeding and took nearly 6 weeks to get back to her birth weight - and then started to lose weight again. I was pressured by the hv to switch - and still feel guilty etc. I wish I had ignored the hv - dd was happy, slept well and it was probably a blip. (Didn't know about mn until too late)

Dd2 is due at the end of Jan so I have attended a La Leche bf course and have got gemmed up with bf info.

I would recommend contacting the La Leche league for info - I have found them helpful- and I hope to bf for longer.

at going back to work after 6 weeks

Maddison · 28/12/2005 22:30

When DS2 had a stuffy nose I found that tilting his bum up just a little higher than his head helped. He also only fed for 10 - 15 minutes a time.

Like the others said, you're doing a great job, please don't feel like you're failing her.

thecattleareALOHing · 28/12/2005 22:31

What work are you going back to after six weeks Bonkerz?

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