Help! My baby is on strike

[AppleOrchid]

Please help ? I?m desperate for answers....

Four days ago my eight-month old stopped breastfeeding. When I bring her to the breast she pulls away and cries.

On the whole, she has always been an enthusiastic feeder. For around the last two to three weeks she has had a low-grade temp (hovering around 37.5 ? 37.9) and has been teething ? or at least chewing on her fingers a lot and pointing to the roof of her mouth. She has also been sleeping uncharacteristically badly. I have taken her to the GP twice but he found nothing out of the ordinary except a slightly red throat, so possibly that?s been bothering her. I wonder if these facts might have something to do with the strike. In other respects she seems fairly jolly.

I am desperate to feed her again and it?s no exaggeration to say I?m finding the whole thing quite heartbreaking. At the moment, I?m expressing and giving her as much of the milk as she?ll take. She?s never had a bottle so it?s a bit tricky, but her appetite seems normal with regards to solids. If she won?t take the breast soon I?ll have to consider other options, but I really don?t want to and if I?m honest I wouldn?t know where to start with formula feeding and wouldn?t know what to do about my milk supply either.

Have you experienced anything similar? Any help or advice hugely welcome, I can?t bear not being able to feed her.
Thank you

There is a good secosion on kellymom's web site on nursing strike's.

I think the advice is really to stay carm and keep offering she will take the breast again. They don't self wean at such a young age, sounds like your coping quit well.

I feel your pain. Had this twice with dd. Longest one lasted a week. I expressed and fed as much as I could with cups and syringes as she would not take a bottle. Keep offering the breast. The thing that broke the strike both times for us was sleepy feeds. She is now 17 months and still having 2 bf's a day. There was a brilliant thread about this. Will try to find it and post a link.

My health visitor advised me that my DD could decide she didn't want to BF any more as early as 8 months and if she did, not to worry about it.

Really looby - think your HV need's some retraning. Baby's can certainly strick at that age but woun't give up altogether as they still nurtinaly need milk at this age.

We had a breakthrough this morning when she fed for an entire fourteen minutes on the left breast. Hooray! She declined the right but what a great start.

Alas when I offered her the mid-morning feed an hour or so ago, she bit my nipple hard - four times. I managed not to react but it was very painful.

This morning's early feed has at least given me a big glimmer of hope. I suppose I need to keep offering and hope for the best...

imissbluesky -thanks for the kind words, sounds like i'm in a similar boat. It's so hard. My instinct to feed is very strong and it feels quite soul destroying not being able to. Saying that, the biting is a good deterrant!

Further words of wisdom on this topic most welcome (and advice on biting)...

Thanks

Hi AppleOrchid. No wisdom here I'm afraid, just sympathy. My 11 month old is also on strike (my thread is further down the page) and I can't work out if it's temporary or if he's finished for good. I'm finding it very demoralising as I'd always hoped to join the 'extended feeders' thread one day! I walked past a woman nursing her toddler in the park yesterday and felt such a pang of envy and disappointment that I may never be in that position.

Anyway, hooray for your breakthrough this morning! What a relief it must have been. Fingers crossed she'll do it again (with the biting of course...).

Thanks for the sympathy. It's amazing how much it helps. Until my little one stopped feeding, I didn't realise how much the whole breastfeeding relationship meant to me. It's such a massive part of life and has been day-in-day-out for the last eight-and-a-half months. I very much hope your baby returns to the breast. Good luck - I'll take a look at your thread now...

I've dealt with a few nursing strikes in my time (unfortunately) so you have my sympathies. My now nearly 4y/o had a strike at about 18m (and at the same time as her older sister too) that went on for 2 weeks before both of them downed pickets on the same day - she's 'still' nursing now (not for everyone I know).

Self-weaning under 2 is very rare as milk still provides a substantial part of a toddler nutrition. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but it is very rare all the same.

Often keeping bfing very low key can help. Having a bath together or a snuggle in bed skin to skin can lead to a baby doing what they know with out thinking about it. Also bfing on waking from sleep can help as they might not have switched on fully immediately post-nap.

Trying different positions (either actual nursing positions or different chairs/sofas/baths/beds) might help too.

Getting stressed and trying for hours to latch them on isn't going help them want to bf more. It's very tempting when you have full swollen breasts and a baby that's hungry and won't latch to just try and make them feed but don't it won't end well

Hope you find baby starts nursing soon.

strikes are shit, hope it continues to improve for you

After yesterday's breakthrough, no further improvement unfortunately. DD cries or looks disinterested when offered the breast. No more biting, but no more feeding either.

Not looking forward to Monday when partner goes back to work. I'm not sure how I'll manage all the extra washing, sterilising and pumping if I'm honest.

Very sadly, I think I'm going to have to consider the alternatives soon, but just thinking that this might be the end of nursing makes me feel such a mixed bag of emotions. Largely sad, but if I'm really honest, also a bit cross that she won't feed. I wish I could rationalise with my little one and tell her breast milk the best thing for her. It goes without saying I also feel guilty for feeling a bit cross. How exhausting this is.

Right, off to express now - can you believe it's only just gone 6am?! Bloody daylight saving, that's going to throw a spanner into the works of millions of routines around the country!

Once again, thanks for your support in this - it is really helpful to know I'm not alone. Truthsweet - two strike at once? Crikey. I take my hat off to you!

A final note: in order to get enough milk into my DD I've resorted to using one of these 'toddler bottles'. It has a plastic teat, but is free flow (I think). She gets milk more effectively than with syringes, but I now worry that giving her this might make her even less likely to return to the breast. It's such a minefield...

Oh, and one more thing (I promise I'll stop after this), she didn't sleep very well again last night. I'm convinced she has been teething for weeks - could this be the root cause (no pun intended) of all this - or is she just hungry because she's not getting nearly as much milk as before this blasted strike? Should I keep soldiering on? Will she feed again???

Have you tried applying teething gel before a snuggly nap and seeing if that helps. Or offering breastmilk slushies/ice pops instead of a beaker feed or offering a cup with a straw/open cup.

It's still early days for a strike so don't lose hope. They can go on for 2 weeks before breaking so 2 days isn't the end of the world (did feel like it to me though every time my lot went on strike!)

Thanks TruthSweet - she's had just one feed in six days so it does indeed feel like forever!

I've tried teething gels etc before feeds to no avail, but ice pops are a great idea - thanks again...

Ack sorry - just looked at the date not re-read the OP to work out how long it was

Still, one feed is positive. Did anything precipitate the strike - did she bite you, earache, a cold, teething, fright whilst nursing, time apart? Sometimes knowing what has triggered the strike can help you work past it (both in a breaking the strike way and in emotionally processing the possible end of bfing).

Have you tried one of the Breastfeeding Helplines?

Great thread on strikes

Have you tried the sleepy feeds yet? I used to lie in bed (only during strikes at this age ) and take my top off completely, baby dressed in vest or something, and lie in bed with her until she was asleep but still sucking her thumb and then tried to latch her on in this state. As the strikes broke, I could initially only feed like this, sometimes both sides, sometimes one, but after a few days she usually started taking the breast again when offered.

Hope this makes sense. Hang in there. I vividly remember the anguish of nursing strikes but hopefully it will pass.

Well, it's been a day of two halves.

I went on a mammoth tour of shops looking for best bottle/teat solutions and it took much longer than expected. Stopped in a car park and decided to offer DD the breast in the car. To my utter surprise and great relief she nursed for an entire 25 minutes. Brilliant! Offered her the other one only for her to take it quizzically in her mouth for a moment before spitting it out.

This evening, buoyed by the day's earlier success, I rather optimistically offered her my boobs for her bedtime feed only to have them both bitten and rejected. I'm not sure what's going on in her little head.

TruthSweet, I have been racking my brains to work out what started all this. I did think it was teething or some other mouth/throat-related pain. She's been exhibiting all the classic teething signs and had a low-grade temperature for weeks. I've taken her to the GP who couldn't find anything wrong with her except for a slightly red throat, so it may well have been sore. A couple of times leading up to the strike, she fell asleep on the breast only to wake wincing in what looked like pain. She also woke choking a bit, so I don't think she'd been swallowing properly.

Imissbluesky - thanks for the link and words of encouragement.

Right, off to express yawn

FWIW I think she will come back but they are normally bumpy rides with set-backs and some continued fussing even after they are mostly back. It could last a few weeks but hang in there.

Thanks PenguinArmy. Here's hoping she'll come back.

On a slightly different note, I've been researching formulas to give the little one if worst comes to worst, and I was surprised to discover I can't easily get hold of one that is both vegetarian and organic. I'm a veggie myself but have been weaning DD on a diet including fish for protein etc. If I do end up having to supplement with formula I don't really want to have to choose if it's organic or vegetarian, seems bonkers really that there isn't a mainstream one that is both. You'd think there would be a demand for it.

AppleOrchid, have you had her checked by a doctor? the two times my DD went on nursing strike it turned out she had a sore throat. it can happen from a blocked nose as well but I would think you would have noticed that. when DD had sore throat she refused the breast as the strong sucking hurt her, but she did eat solids fine, drink from a cup etc. it's worth checking out.

Yep, I've taken her twice. Funny you should mention it, but the only thing he could find was a slightly red throat which might signify that it's sore. My little one also manages solids OK, so perhaps that is the problem afterall. How long did your strikes last and was there anything you did in particular to help things along?

hi - sorry wasn't on mn for a while. has it settled down by now? mine only lasted two or three days. there wasn't much i could do, i just offered it once in a while and in the meantime expressed and made sure she had fruits/solids/wated/herbal tea. she did actually nurse in her sleep luckily, just refused to do it while awake.

has it gotten better yet? wish you good luck!

Hi there,

it's been over a week now and it's quite rough. I'm not as upset as I was as I've had the time to get my head around things a bit. I haven't given up hope that she'll return to the breast, otherwise I might still be totally bereft. In the past eight days she's had three or four feeds (all from the left breast), which has given me some hope. I'm still not 100% what's going on, or why strike in the first place, but teething/mouth pain is still my main hunch.

For the past couple of days I've been using bottles to give her my milk and she's getting the hang of them slowly but surely. I'm using the Medela Calma ones which are supposed to be good if you want to return to the breast. I did try her on formula the other morning but she thought it was revolting and point black refused it. I tried it and I have to agree with her on that one. So for now it's just my milk in bottles, cereal etc. I think I'll need to persevere with formula though in case I can't supply enough of my own milk.

All-in-all it's just such hard work. I seem to spend my whole life expressing and washing pump/bottle parts and sterilising them. I do wish she'd return to the breast!

On that note, back to the kitchen sink...

Ah, I know how you feel AppleOrchid. I have a washing up bowl full of pump parts and bottles awaiting my attention.

It's been a week since DS's last feed now. The GP has given him a clean bill of health, but advised me to keep up the expressing / offering boob. I've spotted some new teeth emerging, so am holding onto the hope that once they're through and his gums aren't so sore he may change his mind.

He nearly latched on a few times yesterday, then pulled away immediately. It's so frustrating! Meanwhile he guzzles expressed milk from a bottle and cries when it's finished.

I remain hopeful for you and your DD.

Off to tackle the bottle-washing...

Just a FYI - providing you don't have an ill or prem baby you don't need to sterilise after every time you express. Just once a day is enough.

In between pumping you can either refridgerate the pump parts in a ziplock type plastic bag or you rinse the pump out with hot soapy water and leave to air dry.

Thanks for that info TruthSweet. All the sterilising did seem a bit redundant in light of the amount of soil / dead leaves / stuff off the floor he eats.

You posted earlier about your toddler striking, and I wanted to ask you: were you confident at the time that she would return to the breast? Did you ever lose hope? (I hope you don't mind me hijacking your thread a bit AppleOrchid). I get the feeling everyone but DH thinks I'm bonkers for persevering.

Hi Amelia - I really wasn't sure that DD2 would come back and indeed as time went on I was quite convinced she wouldn't but DD1 (who was about 3.3y) would. I was so so sure I would be bfing my newborn and my 3 1/2 y/o but not my 2y/o!

In the end both broke their strike the same day (after 2 weeks of not nursing) when I was 26 wks pg with DD3. DD1 self weaned a few months later and DD2 is 'still' nursing now at 3.11y/o.

I have also had DD3 go on strike after I returned from hospital following a weeks' stay but she broke that with in a week (IIRC). I also bottle fed DD1 for her 8 weeks before I got her back to EBF (bottles were part formula part ebm) so I have a fair bit of personal experience with breast refusal. In those circumstances I was willing to do ANYTHING to make bfing work again, especially with DD3's strike as I knew then how much easier bfing made the toddler years (for me).

Everyone has always thought that I should just take advantage of the strikes/breast refusal to stop bfing/switch to formula with the exception of DH. He has been my rock and I categorically would be here with out him let alone bfing a toddler and a pre-schooler (had very bad PND-OCD).

Without his support I wouldn't have felt confident enough to let go of the bottles with DD1 and his practical support was amazing. He did all the sterilising and bottle feeding when home from work - I pumped every 2 hours 24hrs a day for 8 weeks and I didn't know then that you didn't have to sterilise every time so DH sterilised the pumps/bottles whilst I slept (I pumped while DD1 was bottle fed by DH, I'd settle DD1 to sleep/sleep myself while DH would go down stairs and wash up/sterilise everything then bring the pump parts back up before going to bed himself).