Help! My baby is on strike

[AppleOrchid]

Please help ? I?m desperate for answers....

Four days ago my eight-month old stopped breastfeeding. When I bring her to the breast she pulls away and cries.

On the whole, she has always been an enthusiastic feeder. For around the last two to three weeks she has had a low-grade temp (hovering around 37.5 ? 37.9) and has been teething ? or at least chewing on her fingers a lot and pointing to the roof of her mouth. She has also been sleeping uncharacteristically badly. I have taken her to the GP twice but he found nothing out of the ordinary except a slightly red throat, so possibly that?s been bothering her. I wonder if these facts might have something to do with the strike. In other respects she seems fairly jolly.

I am desperate to feed her again and it?s no exaggeration to say I?m finding the whole thing quite heartbreaking. At the moment, I?m expressing and giving her as much of the milk as she?ll take. She?s never had a bottle so it?s a bit tricky, but her appetite seems normal with regards to solids. If she won?t take the breast soon I?ll have to consider other options, but I really don?t want to and if I?m honest I wouldn?t know where to start with formula feeding and wouldn?t know what to do about my milk supply either.

Have you experienced anything similar? Any help or advice hugely welcome, I can?t bear not being able to feed her.
Thank you

Don't mind a bit AmeliaEarhart. The way I see it, we're in it together. Solidarity for mothers with striking babies! :)

I just read your post TruthSweet. You (and your husband) are an inspiration. Just a little addition that might help Amelia. Recently, on the occasions my little one has taken the breast, I've had something to distract her. Initially a stuffed toy, but recently a card with a monkey on it she especially likes. I put DD in the nursing position and expressed a little while she looked at the monkey card, then dabbed a small amount of milk on her lip. She rather absentmindedly took my nipple without noticing and continued looking at the card...

Maybe a similar distraction-strategy might be worth a shot if you haven?t already tried. Good luck.

Apple and thank you for reminding me of another way we nursed after DD1/DD2's strike - naked cuddles in bed with a book (we have cuddles in bed everyday [time allowing] and just stretched it out a bit longer with a book or two. Often one or another would latch on for a little bit. A lot less pressure all round and no sense of failure if nothing happened (after all we were reading a book and snuggling already!).

Sometimes the lower key the offering the easier it is for a) baby to latch on and b) accept a refusal. If you sit down in your favourite chair and get out the nursing pillow, lift top and unclip bra then get a 'No' and a bite or get smacked away that's heartbreaking. If they just don't latch on or only have a couple of sucks when you are having a bath or a morning snuggle it didn't feel like such a big deal.

Hello both, I think I posted on one of your threads before and wanted to say well done to you both for persevering. :)

DS went on strike for 12 days at 13 m.o. (although he did still feed 3 x a day while going to sleep - prior to that he'd feed 6 or 7 times a day). An ear / chest infection followed by V&D bug and conjunctivitis - and teething - was to blame, I think.

DH suggested I use it as an opportunity for weaning, but neither DS nor I was really ready. The GP I saw looked at me like I was nuts for trying to keep bf'ing a 13 m.o. (I saw her again a few months later when DS was partially on strike, and got the same reaction. )

DS is still going with 5-7 feeds a day at 22 m.o.

If you have a dishwasher, you can wash bottles & pumps in there. Sorry if it's obvious, but thought I'd mention it just in case.

I agree with Apple - you're brill, Truth. :)

Hello all. I'm freaking out because my DS has been on strike since yesterday morning. He's 13 months and had been having two feeds a day (morning and bedtime, plus one at night sometimes).

He's had a low-grade fever since Thursday. Fed to sleep as usual Thursday night and slept through, but has refused all feeds since then :(

He's all dopey and just wants to cuddle and sleep all the time, which is very out of character (he's a very active, fidgety, non-cuddly, wakeful baby). We took him to the doc and she said he was fine, it must just be a virus.

I tried to express last night but got nothing from the right and half an ounce from the left, which I gave DS in a cup. He even seemed to turn his nose up at that :( yet he's eating solids fine.

V upset. Had been thinking about how long I was going to bf for, but this has made me realise I'm not ready to stop yet. :(

Anyone got any advice for me? Should I carry on pumping even though I'm not getting much? My boobs do feel slightly uncomfortable. Just not sure what to do :(

Hi CountBapula, I think you should definitely carry on pumping if you want to carry on feeding your little one. You need to do it to keep your supply up and also to make sure you don't get blocked ducts etc. You may well also be feeling very hormonal if you're used to feeding regularly and this has just stopped. I know it effects me massively. Try and take a deep breath and relax a little if you can. All the advice I've been given on this thread has been really useful in trying to manage a strike. Don't take rejection personally. It sounds like your little one is unwell and something is stopping him feeding. He will sense if you're upset, or if there's pressure on him to feed. I spoke to a counsellor from La Leche League who was really helpful. She advised me to act bright and breezy even if this was a million miles from how I was feeling. I hope your little on returns to the breast soon and I wish I could be more help - I know how distressing this is and how strong the instinct to nurse is.

AngelDog - Oh how I long for a dishwasher!

Thanks AppleOrchid. I'm expressing now and getting loads

Not sure why I got nothing last night. Maybe I was too stressed out or something. I've always managed to express better in the mornings so maybe that's it.

Will keep pumping all weekend but not sure how long I'll be able to keep it up because I work almost full time and I find pumping much more time consuming than bf.

Oh well. These things are sent to try us. How's your little one doing now?

CountBapula, I always find it easier to express in the mornings than evenings. Has your little chap nursed since yesterday morning?

The newsflash from here is that DS had his first boob feed for 11 days this morning! We'd just woken up and were sitting on the bed. I offered him the boob - totally going through the motions at this point as he'd been refusing for so long - and he took it! It was a little uncomfortable - I think we're both a bit rusty when it comes to latching on well - but I didn't dare try and move him, and he fed for about 10 minutes. He refused again at lunch time of course Ah well, it still counts as progress, right?

AppleOrchid, any news?

Amelia, that is great news! It definitely counts as progress.

My little one has been taking one side on most feeds for the last few days which is wonderful. It still means I've got to keep expressing, sterilising etc etc etc, but like you, I'm just thrilled not to be getting complete refusal. However DD still seams off colour and gets upset by the other breast. She sometimes takes it only to come off whimpering. Today she woke up with a temperature (38.7) so I'm planning to take her back to the docs to see if we can find out what's going on.

Keep up the good work, let us know how you get on.

Likewise CountBapula - glad to hear the expressing is more productive. I hope your little one is feeding normally again now.

Hi ladies. Great to hear you're making progress. None here I'm afraid :(

DS still refusing. He's still poorly, which isn't helping. And I'm still only able to express about 1oz at a time (think I must've been really full the other day). Feeling pretty gutted about it all. It's hard seeing DS so poorly and upset and not being able to soothe him by feeding :(

Just got to keep pumping and hope for the best but can only do it once a day really. No time for more than that with work and everything. Worried my supply won't keep up :(

Fantastic to hear about some progress - I agree that you should count it as progress, Amelia - at least you know he still wants to and can bf.

CountBapula, I hardly managed to express at all when my DS went on strike, although he was still feeding a bit. My supply dipped a bit, and when he resumed feeding after 12 days, he had a lot of looooong feeds for a few days, then normal service resumed. I think after 13 months your supply ought to be fairly robust.

Well, he's definitely back on the boob! Fed yesterday afternoon, last night, this morning, this afternoon (while out and about!) and bedtime. Phew!

I'm hoping we'll stay at 2-3 feeds a day, which seems manageable when I go back to work part-time next month. Also I now know that he can sleep through the night without milk, and that I can get him to sleep without feeding, so I guess we're night-weaned now.

I've been so glad of all the advice and support on offer here

AppleOrchid, did you see the doctor? What did they say?

Hurray! We're back in business too!

I'd resigned myself to it being the end, and I said to DH, "I'll just try one more time ..." I didn't think DS would go for it, because he sort of looked at my boob like this but after a couple of seconds he latched on hesitantly and fed for about 45 minutes total (both sides) then slept through 9pm-6am. Result!

He's feeding as I type. Bit ouchy because latch is a bit dodgy but hopefully we can sort that. I'm just so glad he's back. Thank goodness for mumsnet!

So glad to hear it Amelia & Bapula! It was one of the best feelings I have ever had when our strikes have broken - just an overwhelming sense of relief!!

Long may it last

Ditto TruthSweet's sentiments - really happy to hear your babies are back on the breast.

I also share in the relief as my little on seems happy to feed at the moment - it's a huge relief. She had a massive feed last night and I gazed very happily at her on the breast.

The doctor has conceded that she may have an ear infection and has prescribed antibiotics. I reluctantly started her on them yesterday. I'd rather not, but she's had a temperature and been under the weather for more than a month now so it seemed sensible. I'm really hoping they'll shift it. Temperature still hovering around 38 and she now has diarrhoea - so my latest concern is that she may be allergic to penicillin. I hope not!

I worry I may be becoming one of those over-anxious-about-everything mothers, but it's so hard not to worry about everything! On that note, TruthSweet, you mentioned OCD in an earlier post. I was wondering if you could give me a steer on this. Since arrival of bubs, I've been very over-the-top about hygiene - for example, we have builders coming to look at a leak in the kitchen and I feel hopelessly worked up about them coming in with their shoes on; letting little one play with communal toys at baby weigh-in makes me feel hugely anxious etc etc. I was going to ask if you thought this was normal, but as I write this I think I know the answer...

Thanks for all your support on this thread everyone. It's been a massive help

That is such wonderful news, everyone. Thrilled to hear it.

Apple, I think diarrhoea is quite common with antibiotics - IIRC the GP warned me that DS might have it when he was given penicillin the first time. He did have diarrhoea then, but I'm not sure whether it was the antibiotics - he's had ABS again since without diarrhoea.

I think penicillin allergy usually appears the second time you're given the antibiotics - it's after the first time that your body identifies the penicillin as something that it should react strongly to.

I'm allergic to penicillin myself, and my main symptom was a rash all over. If you're concerned, I'd give NHS Direct a ring and you can talk it through with them.

I was reluctant to give DS the antibiotics prescibed for him, but they sorted out his ear infection (and the nursing strike, eventually). He'd had a bad cough for about a month beforehand and they really helped that too (the GP said he had quite a bad chest infection by then).

Thanks AngelDog - Will keep a close eye on her.

Apple - I have had OCD/trichlotilomania since about 7 but had PND-OCD after DD1 was about 4m. My PND-OCD wasn't directed at cleanliness (much to my house's misfortune) but safety - I had many intrusive thoughts about car seats harnesses/pushchair harnesses/highchair...you guessed it harnesses!, car/bus accidents, letting go of the pram, falling down stairs holding the baby, etc) for most of DD1's first year it was like I was living in a horror film.

I also had suicidal ideation (made very detailed plans, had a med stash, was thisclose to my HV getting me admitted to a mother & baby unit) which to be honest apart from DH & the HV no one took very seriously .

I also found it very difficult to bf DD1 as I felt my milk was poisoning her (had issues with a friend claiming it was dangerous to a baby to feed past 6m). At my worst point I was trying to vomit when DD1 wanted feeding due to the overwhelming fear of my milk being bad for her.

I had a huge up hill battle to get my PND-OCD diagnosed (I self-diagnosed to start with as the psych. hadn't heard of it - just wanted to sedate me at night so I would sleep). I then met a psych who knew her stuff and I got the appropriate meds for me (Sertraline) and a CPN.

Just before DD3 was born I did a CBT course which was very helpful but I am not completely 'cured'. OCD is a life long condition but I think PND-OCD can go away in time and with appropriate care.

If you have a supportive HV/GP would you be able to talk about how you feel? There should be some kind of support locally for mothers with PND which hopefully could be tweaked to suit the OCD side of it too.

If you want to talk further please feel free to PM me.

Thanks TruthSweet, I'll PM you.

Little one now has explosive diarrhoea - of the very impressive (and very messy) shooting-out-the-sides-of nappies variety. If it's not one thing, it's another, poor little thing.

On a brighter note, she slept through until 7.10am this morning :)

Right, off to clear up poo and take care of the little monkey.

Hope everybody's babies are content and feeding well.