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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

tandem feeding 2y-old and new baby

31 replies

honneybunny · 30/11/2005 12:20

Hi! I am due on December 9th and have a 2y-old son who is still breastfeeding. I thought during this pregnancy I would be able to wean him, or that he would self-wean, but he is still as interested as before. Weaning him seemed like a mean thing to do... . He drinks twice a day: at waking up, and at bedtime. I now want to start tandem feeding him and little one, but have no idea how to do this. Who's supposed to go first? Or can you feed at same time?? Any advice??? I heard it is a great thing to let the older drinker drink away the biggest pressure (esp. when milk has just come in), but would there be enough left for the baby????

OP posts:
frannyandzooey · 30/11/2005 12:24

Ooh, I know just the person to help you....I shall point her in your direction...

[wanders off to find HC]

Original poster
honneybunny · 30/11/2005 12:27

[jumping with excitement]
but who's HC???

OP posts:
harpsiheraldangelssing · 30/11/2005 12:28

here I am!
am just about to go out tho
please CAT me or I will respond later
(I have been tandem feeding for just over two weeks and it is FAB. newborn got back to birth weight at day 5, now well over a pound heavier at day 16. Really helps with the older one too)

harpsiheraldangelssing · 30/11/2005 12:29

am normally harpsichordcarrier btw this is my christmas name

frannyandzooey · 30/11/2005 12:30

She is harpsichordcarrier, currently appearing under her panto name of harpsiheraldangelssingdingdongmerrilyonhigh or something. I have alerted her to your plight, so I'm sure she will be along later.

frannyandzooey · 30/11/2005 12:30

Holy Smoke Batman, that was fast

harpsiheraldangelssing · 30/11/2005 12:49

I heard the call of the norks
panto name

hunkermunker · 30/11/2005 12:56

PMSL at call of the norks

Had an interest in tandem feeding, but DS self-weaned. Dammit. Mind you, he's still boob-fascinated and will no doubt point at them and say, "Ohhh!" in his quizzically cute (and loud) way a lot when DB arrives in January...

spidermama · 30/11/2005 12:57

Hello honneybunny and harpsi. Tandem feeding eh? Fab! Good on you both.

I did this with dd1 and ds2 (15 month gap) and I loved it. I think I was pretty relaxed about it and it all fell into place without a strategy. I would probably feed the baby first on a big full nork but sometimes I fed them both at the same time which was amazing.

It's great for your toddler and will really help with any rivalry or tension when the new one arrives.

Have faith in your breasts. The know what they're doing. They'll produce as much as your babies demand so there are no worries about the new one going short.

Good luck with the birth and the feeding.

agalch · 30/11/2005 13:35

Hi Girls
Looking for advice.My dd is 16 months and im pg,but no idea when due yet but estimate dd will be just about 2 when babe is born.Still bf dd at the mo and fully expect her to bf for a long time yet.Don't mind the idea of tandem feeding but can't get my head round how it works,will there be colostrum for baby,does baby need that? who feeds first? I am clueless and need help

frannyandzooey · 30/11/2005 13:50

Relax everyone, the Nork Squad are here...

spidermama · 30/11/2005 14:00

Hi agalch.
There's no need to worry or indeed to forward plan. It'll all take care of itself. It's the most natural thing in the world. Your breasts will produce whatever is demanded of them by your children.

On the odd occasion where they want it at the same time you'll naturally feed the baby first. That said I have had one on each breast and I felt like Superwoman. (Though others have reported feeling more like dairy cows!)

Original poster
honneybunny · 30/11/2005 15:32

hi agalch, we'll have the same age-gap between db1&2! strangely enough i was advised by hv to wean ds1 by 5 months at least, when i asked her about tandem feeding. ds1 had different opinion though. i am glad he did, but also a bit puzzled about how to organise the feeds with two eager eaters figthing over my nipples. i came up with the exact same questions as you. was also vaguely worried ds1 would happily finish off all my colostrum.
i have now put all my hopes and bets on, and rest my fate on the nork squad let's wait and see what they have to say, and maybe in a couple of days i can be an expert too , i am due in 9 days!

OP posts:
Original poster
honneybunny · 30/11/2005 15:36

actually spidermama, my mum is reading over my shoulder and said feeding two dbs at same time would be more like having a litter of hungry little piggies hunting you down.

OP posts:
Mistymoo · 30/11/2005 15:40

Just read the thread and wondered how it worked with cholestrum - do you still produce it for the baby?

Am I being thick ?

spidermama · 30/11/2005 15:46

Kellymom is a really great resource for in-depth questions about breastfeeding.

Mistymoo · 30/11/2005 15:51

Wow1 Aren't our bodies amazing. You learn something new every day!

Mistymoo · 30/11/2005 15:51

That should be Wow!

mawbroon · 30/11/2005 16:24

My HV lent me her copy of La Leche League's "breastfeeding answers" book. I read a bit about tandem feeding out of interest, but having nappy brain (DS is 6 weeks) I have forgotten most of it as it didn't apply to me. I too had wondered about the colostrum. Apparently it will probably give the older child diarrhoea as it has a laxative effect

Anyway, it may be worth speaking with LLL is what I am trying to say..

MB

emkana · 30/11/2005 18:49

Hi, I tandemfed my dd's too, for about two months. Apparently the milk is geared towards the newborn/younger baby as he/she is the one who needs it more! So there will be colostrum. Didn't seem to bother dd1 though.

One word of warning though: I found, and have read some other accounts stating the same, that I actually found it highly irritating to feed two at the same time. Couldn't stand it! And I generally began to feel that I wanted the breast to "belong" to dd2. All this even though I had been feeling very positive about tandem feeding, I just couldn't help feeling that way. Luckily dd1 self-weaned when dd2 was only a few weeks old, very painlessly, it was as if she herself handed over to dd2.

Good luck with it anyway!

harpsiheraldangelssing · 01/12/2005 10:45

hi there
yes I am tandem feeding and so far only positives.
apparently your body starts to produce colostrum in the third trimester, and all the books say the toddler may self weanat this point because the taste changes. not mine tho and clearly not yours.... so he will have been taking colostrum fpr some time and any laxative effect will have`already happened - if at all, I never experienced this personally.
in terms of benefits, I would say that the milk supply and production settled dowm very quickly, engorgement was far less uncomfortable (and yes it was great to have a toddler to relieve the pressure a bit). also no probs with sore nipples. the laws of supply and demand mean that yes there is plenty to go round. my newborn is putting on weight like there is no tomorrow and expressing is easier too. remember that women can supply plenty for twins and your toddler is only feeding twice a day anyway.
like spidermama I would say jus go with the flow. If they want to feed at he same time (and you want them too) then newborn should go first. DD1 is perfectly happy to wait in line - she is 2.5 and taking turns is the hot topic anyway. I have explained to her for months that the new baby will have my milk too, but as the new baby won't be able to have anything else then s/he needs to go first. She is absolutely happy with this. Having both on together is not something I would want to do with an audience! but it was a very lovely experience and made me feel like superwoman too spidermama...
I would also say that the tandel feeding has for me mnimised any issues of rivalry and jealousy. in fact the first two/three weeks have been decidely lovely and straightforward....
the only negative I can think of has been other people's reactions. The midwives at the hospital were (variously) incredulous, disbelieving, critical and just plain loopy (ie recommending I give dd1 milk shakes instead...) and I even had one bossy one telling me that I MUST STOP! but I am quite capable of ignoring that kind of ignorant nonsense.
we will stop when we are ALL good and ready...
if I had my time again I would prob not mention it but get my advice from the NCT/LLL/Kellymom i,e, people that actually KNOW something about the subject.
good luck and hope it works out for you. please do CAT me if you like
HC x

Original poster
honneybunny · 01/12/2005 15:39

Thanks for the advice! HC, milkshakes! The effects of colostrum we have noticed, but we didn't know it was what caused his runny nappies. We thought it was mostly because of his love of fruits and vegs, and Nursery has complained: they thought he just has lots of tummy bugs!! I wish we'd known before, as I have had to spend many days at home with a supposedly sick toddler.

OP posts:
harpsiheraldangelssing · 01/12/2005 17:56

let us know how it goes and all the best for your birth

Eulalia · 02/12/2005 08:17

Hi honneybunny - I've been breastfeeding continually for 6.5 years and am now on my 3rd child (4 months) and tandem b/fed for a lot of that time too. My dd (aged 3.5) still has a feed in the middle of the night but have cut out daytime as she is just too old. My ds didn't properly stop till he was over 5 but that really tailed off towards the end ie several weeks spacing.

yes your body can produce enough - think that some people can feed twins easily. A feed a couple of times a day isn't much milk. you may find your 2 year old wants to feed a bit more when the new baby arrives but it will soon settle down. I found it really helped with jealousy issues as it helped the older one to feel included. I always let the baby go first as their needs are greater although have had the occasion when lying in bed with babe and other boob being attacked by other child!

Got to get kids ready for school/playgroup but if you want to know more then ask away or CAT.

Good luck with the birth - not far off now

ruty · 02/12/2005 13:13

my 14 month old still breastfeeding and we`are thinking about having another one next year, when i hope to still be breastfeeding. i was more worried about breastfeeding when pregnant, i wasn't sure if it would mean fewer vitamins getting to babe in tum, but it sounds like thats not a problem. Tandem feeding with my big boisterous ds tho - not sure if we'll manage that!