4 month old refusing his 7am feed

[Charlie74]

Hi

I'm new to this site so apologies if I've done something wrong. I am worried that my 4 month old son is refusing his 7am bottle feed. have tried delaying it etc and nothing. If I keep persevering until he's eaten it he sicks most of it up. Does anyone have any advice? Is this normal? Thanks!

~PS he's fine with all his other bottles. Ta

Hi, welcome to mumsnet. My 4.5 month old is breastfed, but very noticeably is slow to get going with his milk in the morning. He sort of slakes his thirst for 5 minutes about half an hour after waking. Then he has 1 or 2 more small 10 minute feeds at hour intervals from that before his big monring nap. When he wakes up from that he has a big 20 minutes both boob feed, and carries on that way through the day every 2-3 hours. Until a few weeks ago he woke and had the full monty. I'm just going with the flow on this one, as I don't eat the same amount each meal, I'm not going to stress if he doesn't

So I think maybe some babies just like very small breakfasts? Looking forward to other input. HTH.

Does he have milk during the night?

Charlie I have a four month old who is breastfed and not on a routine, but for his first feed after he wakes up, he hardly wants any milk - whereas he usually feeds for 20-30 minutes, this feed will be 5-10 mins at the most - just a wee snack, really! He obviously doesn't want/need it at that time. Just leave it and he will let you know when he is ready for it.

Hi I have the same thing, I have fed Ds a couple of mini snacks this morning - it upsets his naps is the only problem as he falls asleep too early for lunch (he is asleep now). I think poss he feeds too much during the night but he doesn't appreciate it if I cut him off early. Guess as Miaou says its best to go with the flow.

Bear in mind also that at this age babies change so much, that whereas a 7am feed was perfect for him, it's now not what he needs - give it a couple of weeks/whatever and he may suddenly demand it again.

Thanks for all your messages and advice - guess I'm just being notorious!!! (1st time mum)

Hes still on 5 feeds a day of 7(ish) oz, he has his last feed at approx 10.30-11pm and doesn't feed in the night. Hence, in my mind he should be hungry at 7am. I know that he should be dropping a feed at 6ish months but I'm worried if he looses weight (he also suffers from reflux). Hes had a cold recently - could that be why? and he is taking more and more time to finish his bottles (11am feed took him 2.5 hours to finish!!)

Can't hurt to speak to a health visitor or GP if you are worried some kind of illness might be behind it - I'm a 1st time mum too so prob why I come up with that option! My DS seems to have reflux acc to GP but not sickey on Breastmilk. he often struggles to take much formula don't know if there is a connection - have you tried diff brands to see if that helps cow and gate readymade cartons seem ok for my ds. App the best way to feed with relux is little and often so maybe he is just doing what he knows will make his tummy feel ok. With breastfeeding an advantage is that you can never know how much the baby takes so you aren't trying to get him to take more than he wants. Maybe disregard the age guidlines and just keep an eye on his weight gain and how content he seems? I hardly ever give DS the correct amount for his age when he has formula because I know he won't take it (he is a big baby 9lb 3 when born and long with it). Sorry this is all abit garbled and prob nothing new to you!

Thanks Pookey. Wow, what a big baby!! Mine was only 6lbs when born - 2 weeks early. Prob why I'm so obsessed with his weight gain - he seems to be doing well now though.
Have spoken to HV about the reflux and the fact that he's uninterested in his food and she just shrugs and says that he looks fine so he must be doing ok. GP has put him on Gaviscon for his Reflux but that makes him sick too - plus he hates the taste of it and I end up battelling with him for an hour just to get the teat in his mouth!! (he's definately hungry by this stage)
I have tried him on several different types brands: SMA Gold at first, then Aptamil, then SMA Staydown which was a nightmare!! back to SMA Gold and now he's on Cow and Gate which he seems to like and most importantly is keeping down at the mo (his limit is 2 weeks before he starts sicking entire feeds again).

Hi Charlie74. My DS1 had gastric reflux (silent reflux ie; didn't throw up at all just screamed bloody murder all the time! - why they call it 'silent' reflux I do not know because it was far from silent!) sorry, anyway, I know my DS1 had a really small apetite. Maybe he is ready to drop is 11 pm bottle but obviously cos of his reflux check with HV first. But could be his cold. You know yourself how you can lose your appetite when you are ill. How long has he been taking his bottles slowly?

Hi Peachandpear, he's been taking his feeds slowly for about 2 weeks now - have tried different teats and flows. He either falls asleep or decides to 'talk' whilst eating!! very cute but frustrating when you have a numb bum from being sat there for 2hrs, plus he ends up soaked from milk spattered everywhere, as do I!!
My DSs reflux started off as 'silent' which I mistook it for colic. Winding him was a nightmare as he would arch backwards and scream (feeding in public was fun as people would look at you like you've just grown another head!). Only started being sick at 11 weeks - dont know which type is worse, dont feed in public now for fear of embarassing projectile vomiting epsiode.
Have tried dropping his late feed but he wakes up at 2-2.30am for a feed anyway so I think he still needs it - its a dream feed anyway so relatively hasslefree.
Has your DS1's reflux gone? how old is he? My HV and GP has said it could last 9 months but was hoping it would go away when weaning.

Have they not given you any medication for it!!!!!???? . I totally sympathise with not feeding in public. People do look at you like you have grown another head, I know exactly what you mean! He used to scream until he was purple for hours on end 24/7 and there was nothing we could do with him. He fed really badly, arching his back and only taking 1 - 2 oz per feed. Hardly slept. Was living hell. He was not diagnosed until he was 3 months old. We were given Cisapride and Tagamet (stomach relaxant and antacid) and some stuff to clear up all the ulcers down his food pipe!! He was sooooo much better after that. He stayed on the medication until he was 10 months and then was fine. (well sort of, had a milk intolerance too which was not diagnosed til he was 2 years!) apparently I have been told since it is quite common for reflux babies to have milk intolerance. Thats not to say all reflux babies do by the way. He is nearly 9 years old now and is absolutely fine. Still on the small side. But I still have nightmares about his babyhood, traumatised we are by the whole thing! (Us that is, not him!).

Anyway, 9 months sounds about right. The muscle at the top of the stomach is not tight enough which causes the reflux. It strengthens when they start to sit up and move around. But I am surprised they have not offered you any medication.

Not sure what to say about him refusing or chatting through feeds. Obviously he is not hungry (!?). I don't think I would sit there for 2 hours though. I think I would remove the feed after 45 mins. Maybe he is kind of snacking in a drawn out kind of way and therefore his tummy is not really empty before his next feed. Worth a go maybe?

PS. In the end I never went anywhere public with him. Just couldn't face it. I know exactly where you are coming from!

My GP has put him on Gaviscon but not only is it useless (he still throws up) he HATES the taste!!

What are the symptoms of milk intolerance? is it constipation and runny poos? He has that too, from one extreme to the other in a matter of days.

He doesn't scream as much now as he did before when eating... he's starting to want to sit up so maybe his muscle at the top of his stomach is getting a bit stronger. I just have to make sure he stays upright for about 30-45 mins after a feed (he can still throw up up to 2hrs after a feed). Sounds like your DS1 had really severe reflux, poor little thing ulcers sound awful. Poor you too - must have been hell for you

Surely he should be hungry after a long night of not feeding??? I tried waiting till 8.30 for his first feed today (bear in mind he hasn't eaten since 11 last night) I could actually hear his stomach rumbelling and he struggelled to take 5oz - took him an hour which is miles better. As you say, it could just be his cold. Will ask HV today... he has his last set of jabs today

I don't think DS1 ever took more than 3 oz at a time and that was a struggle, even when he was 8 months old. Def talk to HV. Poor u. I feel for you. Let me know how you get on.

Oh and the symptoms. Well, the symptoms for my DS1 milk intolerance was that he had very sticky poo, like peanut butter and they STANK. Being a first baby, I had no idea that was not normal. He whinged ALOT too. We took him off dairy when he was 2 years and within a week he was a different child and his poos changed. A couple of weeks later we put him back on dairy and the symptoms returned. When he got older (ie 4 years) and we tried him again on dairy the symptoms returned again but this time he was able to tell us how he felt. He said he had a really really bad tummy ache and he couldn't wipe his bottom properly because the poo wouldn't come away from him (sorry about gruesome details!). Poor chap. He obviously had such a gut ache when he was a baby/small toddler and we had no idea! By the way, he is nearly 9 years now and fine. Can eat dairy no prob. Grew out of it at about the age of 7.

Aah poor little guy... glad hes grown out of it. Seems like you had your hands full with him.

DS was weighed today and as I thought only put on 6oz in 2 weeks! (week before put on 11oz in one week which is really good for him). Had jabs and is pretty grizzly and unsettled at the mo - off his food but there's a surprise!! Dr said to monitor his feeds over this week with the new food and see how much weight he's put on next week, then take it from there. If there's no change we have to see the pediatrician. At least they're not fobbing me off anymore.

Sounds like he's not intolerant of dairy tho, his poo is runny but according to Dr it could be because his gut is overcompensating for his previous constipation whilst on Staydown. Will keep an eye on it.

We certainly did have our hands full! Glad the professionals are listening to you and not fobbing you off. Let us know how he gets on.

Will do, and thanks for the advice. It nice to know that there are other people out there who can sympathise with you and not just treat you like your overreacting and notorius Thanks!

Hi guys

Peachandpear - what an awful time you had, your poor poor son glad he is well now.

Charlie I am really glad its being looked into for you - reminds me I should take mine to be weighed again. My ds probably only has a very mild version of reflux but the hard bit for me is that I forget that it is the reflux making him unhappy sometimes and get upset aswell during feeds (esp when alone) which does not help. He was crying during an am feed the other night and woke the neighbours little children up so felt bad about that - the following night I was concentrating most on keeping him quiet (giving him a dummy so he settled back to sleep quicker) which isn't good.

Hopefully the paeds can do something to help your lo. feeding is so emotive I never realised such a simple thing would be so difficult!

Tell me about it! Its heartbreaking when you experience your babe in such pain and you can't take it away from them. The amount of times we've both been sat here in tears at feeding time - especially as you say when alone or tired.

It's so hard but it helps to know it is a common thing and things get better - need to hold on to the fact we are not the only ones struggling with difficult feeds from time to time and its not something we are doing wrong.

I know. Thats why I joined MN - all of my friends and family have easy babies who put on loads of weight. When they see mine I'm sure they think I'm doing something wrong (Ive even thought it) - what they dont realise is that I have tried EVERYTHING and it gets really frustrating when they say "have you tried...." guess they're just being helpful eh.

Almost as frustrating as people (some of them mothers themselves) who tell you your supposed to "sleep when the baby sleeps". Its almost like they dont remember how unrealistic that is - or is it just me?

Yeah that napping thing is funny as its guaranteed that on the day you try to have a nap when the baby does he will decide to wake up every 5 minutes making you more exhausted than if you hadn't gone to sleep!

You will be ok honey, weaning next

Oh joy!!! is it really that bad? Was hoping it would help the reflux...

I am hoping things will get better then too (DS is almost 4 mths) but its a whole new challenge!