stupid things I've heard

[shuckleberryfinn]

This weeks winner is "she's using you as a dummy". I'd actually never thought about that before but isn't a dummy a me substitute and not the other way around?

You are correct, the full original term for a dummy was a "dummy tit", so it is a fake tit, not something used to shut babies up and make them dumb.

You can say 'she's not using me as a dummy, she's using me as her mummy.'

Then you can tell them to get stuffed (or other dismissive phrase as you prefer :) ).

Heard this recently "you need to leave him to cry [with hunger] or he wont learn how to communicate"

So apparently I shouuld sit there, watching my baby communicate his hunger, until he cries because I haven't responded to his communication

Oh Bluth, can that be true? I've heard everything now. You might as well say "You need to leave him to cry or he wont learn that communication is completely pointless." Isn't that what heppens to severly neglected babies - they just get all quiet and passive?

I also love 'you're spoiling him/her' to people who give their young babies lots of cuddles!

One I had was that crying was good for DD because it 'expands the lungs'.
Ok, so the breathing she has been doing so far has been through tiny weany lungs

Someone told me that crying is good 'exercise' for babies !!!!

My mil mainained that if we allowed DS to yawn, he would dislocate his jaw. I ponted out that he was a baby, not a boa constrictor!

How on earth were you supposed to stop the baby yawning

mil has given me many useful tips such as dipping a dummy in port which she did when dh 'was being particulary obnoxious'

people are bonkers, especially MILs!

My DH keeps complaining that DS is using me as a dummy and that we ought to give him one so that I don't have to BF him so often. DS is 17 months FFS!!! I'm NOT about to start given him a dummy now.

Exactly surgeonsmate, it didn't even make any kind of sense.

Apparently you are supposed to put two fingers under the baby's chin to stop their mouth opening when they yawn. Can you imagine how irritating it would be if someone did that to you?!

An (older) relative told me that you must never tickle a baby's feet as it makes them go maaaaaaaad!

I know this woman from my ante natal class years ago who used to drive me nuts with the crap she came out with.

examples 1) You can tell the sex of a baby at the 12 week scan because they can 'count the chromosomes' on the scan WTF??? I tried to explain they can;t count chromosomes on a fuzzy image on a screen, but she wouldn;t believe me. 2) Germolene makes you faint if you put it on your skin???? 3) Balding men should not shave their heads ( you know, the V short hair fashion for baldies), because the hair knows you don't want it and it will stop growing. She is raving!!

next doors mil told them to put the baby's head in the gas oven to "help it sleep"...well it hadn't done next door's dh any harm! (i would beg to differ on that point but there you go)

moonface - that's the worst thing i've ever heard :( and and :(

Moonface that has really disturbed me. Surely they were 'joking'?

they were laughing in a "you won't believe what his mum said..." way...but said mum was adament (sp) it had worked for her.

moon

How're you getting on btw?

When my DD was 5 days old she was sleeping in the afternoon for a really long time and my ILs were visiting. She'd been asleep for over 4 hours so I decided that I should wake her for a feed as she's lost 11% of her body weight and I was trying to get her to feed as much as possible. At that point my FIL told me that my DD was controlling me and I shouldn't let that happen.....

In neonatal with DD1 it was the 2006 heatwave and a kind nurse came round with ice pops for the older children, she passed a few to me. A different nurse told me I shouldn't eat them as they would turn my milk different colours...

One of my favourites was 'dress the baby in clothes during the day and in pyjamas at night so they know when to sleep'. It's a mystery how the human race coped before the invention of nightwear. And there was me thinking we were naturally diurnal!

These are hillarious!

Mbj i'm well thank you! Bit tired and starting to feel the strain of the bump when carrying ds, or trying to get up etc...but other than that i'm fine. How are you?

Good thanks .

Will post on t'other thread...

My 4 month old ds went through a phase of pulling off the breast quick so the milk would splash him in the face and he would laugh, I was telling my elderly mother about it ,she said baby was trying to tell me he wanted a bottle now not the breast!