What help did you get with breastfeeding?

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Just been listening to radio womens hour and discussion about availability of Formula in hospitals. I've bf 3 babies but was very grateful with last baby to be offered formula at 4 am on the 2nd night after hours trying to settle crying baby.I was in longer after cs.
I continued bf, muddled through mastitis with an electric pump but no practical help at all from midwife's in the hospital or at home even with severe engorgement/ bleeding nipples/ mastitis or health visitors.
This was in stark contrast to the brilliant bf support I'd received with baby 2 in a different city. In Edinburgh Royal Infirmary they were bf zealots constantly checking and correcting position and latching, literally hands on even helping me hand express. If I hadn't received that support with the 2nd I doubt I'd have continued bf with 2nd or 3rd baby.
So I feel this is vital and wondered how it differs around the country.

Had DD at Exeter was helped post C-sec to feed in recovery but then it went downhill next 2nights little support I discharged myself to Honiton by which point had bleeding cracked nipples. Not till 3rd night MW on duty took one look at me in tears &pain offered me nipple shields which was god send. At home MW spotted at 10d her last visit I had mastitous I had no idea just felt shit flu symptoms usual exhausted new mum. All the HV kept telling me not to use nipple shields but this was the only way I could feed without in agony in the end I lied to them said I stopped using them noone checked by 7wks id weaned off them and kept BF for 9mths due to sheer bloody mindness!
Expecting no2 baby soon nervous about establishing feeding again as do not want to to through the horror of first experience will be armed with tel nos and ask for help this time. And pack my own nipple shields in advance!

I got terrible support with DD1, lots of boob grabbing, one MW syringed my nipples and grazed them so badly that it put pay to me wanting to even try to latch on one side. All the advice was of the "party line" variety, and nothing that could help a panicked first time mum, who was desperate to bf, but was finding it difficult. Even paid a terrible bf consultant to come and see me at home. When discharged, never saw the same MW twice, and was basically shown something different at each MW contact. Ended up bf via EBF for 6 months.

DD2, different hospital, calmer mum, struggle to get a latch, used EBF / FF / cup feeding (every permutation that you can think of) and finally got a good latch at 2 weeks old. Went to a bf support group once to check I was doing ok. BF for 9.5 months, and she then refused to take a bottle completely.

What I meant to say was that I basically disregarded all advice from MWs regarding not doing any bottle feeding etc in the first few weeks, if I had, I would have not succeeded. My area so pro bf that it can sometimes be a bit too much.

it was pretty good for me. i was stuck in hospital for a few days and had very good midwife and breastfeeding support workers who helped.

felt very alone when i did get out of hospital though. there's not enough help at home imho.

I gave birth to my first in the MW led unit in a St. Georges, although I live in a neighbouring borough. The MW that delivered my son helped me latch on and then finished her shift. I had read to just keep getting your latch checked and decided to do so. The next MW I saw I asked about checking my latch and she said to ring for her next time I was feeding, by that time it was the middle of the night, I buzzed my bell. A different MW came, stuck her head though the curtains, so several meters away from me, I said "I would just like our latch checked please?", from behind the curtains, head still poking though she said "looks fine" and left! Other than being given a photocopied leaflet so fuzzy it was almost impossible to read for BF café's in that borough, I don't remember any other conversations about BF.
Luckily DS was a expert and didn't lose any birth weight, but I have no idea what I would have done if it had all gone wrong.

I had a lot of support - in particular with dc1. I think it helped that I sought out lots of support. I did everything I could to get her to gain weight. (extra pumping, fennel plus other herbs, videos, latch check, baby cafe, lactation specialist home visits)
My low milk supply was not "diagnosed" until I struggled again with dc2. Same effort, just more supplements. Did not seek out as much professional help - although was a regular on mn by then and it was here I learnt about domperidone which helped me feed dc2 longer.
Dc3 = last child. Again, I sought out help, used all of the above plus I used a supplementor and prescribed medication. Also spoke to la leche. In addition, Hv on this occassion was very supportive.
Still feeding dc3 at 13months.

Gave birth in Torbay. Boob grabbing was experienced :( I vivdly remember sitting with my arms hanging helpless beside me whilst baby was taken and rammed onto the nipple that she squeezed to an inch of it's life. I had horrendous engorgement so my nips were flattened. Terribly painful experience and I'd had a traumatic long labour. I think it's amazing I made it to 10 days of B/f tbh

Having been given the hard sell about b/fding I then struggled with guilt and depression

I can't describe it without sounding like some pathetic wimp who gives up easily. (I'm not giving my life history but I am not a wimp and I don't give in easily)To experience a traumatic birth and then fail at b/f in the most painful way and then endure smug b/fders comments for the rest of your life.... well it has made me very cynical about b/fding.

Fix the way you teach it before you bully people into it.

Dc 1 - 2008 in Sussex - horrific! Got stuck so head was a flat shape which led to them putting her in scbu and checking for downs!!! Was told she would never latch on so they fed her with a tube for the first 5 days. I expressed from day 1 for 8 weeks because every time I tried to latch her on she either bit me or gave a look as to say 'i can't be bothered, too much effort' It all got too much so had to switch to formula. I had PTSD from the birth because it was so bad. She didn't turn out that bad, about to turn 3 and is super bright (no downs of course).

DC 2 - 2010 in Somerset - awesome! Hooked up to machines and drips and was induced. After a 2.5 hr labour he came out and latched on (lol Jammie) but because of the anti-bs, we both got thrush and didn't get the right treatment in time to save us. Once I stopped, it took 2 weeks for DS to get rid of the oral and 4 weeks for me to get rid of the nipple thrush!
We did try a BF group but I was so sore that I didn't express like before or try to bf properly so we stopped going. I feel that the MW could have identified that I might get thrush from the anti-bs and tell me about the treatment (wouldn't have hurt to know, would have saved the pain and lots of time).

Another one from Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. They were amazing. Thet obviously have some targets somewhere but... they were amazing.
I was prepared that bf might be difficult to get started and had indicated everywhere that I was keen and wanted support. But I saw them help others too. IN fact I was in the intensive care unit for a bit so I missed out on the specialist bf help mothers got just after the birth. As at that time they were more concerned about my health. I lost a lot of blood during a planned c section.

More specifically: lots of hands on help with latching. When we had trouble they put us on a feeding schedule and let me express with the hospital pumps to establish supply and to give my daughter top ups (w syringe)
Things were still a bit shaky when we got discharged. But They gave me a really excellent booklet on feeding. I had some material at home but this was really the best thing I came across. Plus a long list of every breast feeding clinic support group etc in Edinburgh.

I ended up calling help groups here and there to get help with feeding difficulties as she got older. Mainly feeding both sides, or twice each side, to really fill her up. BF til 14 months.

In the Norfolk and Norwich hospital 2004 and 2007, almost no help at all. Dd1 I was shown how to latch on while lieing down once and when sat in a chair once. Then nothing else. I asked if there was a bf supporter who could come and see me and was told 'they're for people with real problems' and refused. Luckily dd1 knew what she doing and I bf for a year.

dd2 similar, mw stayed with me once for latching on then no more, understandable as I was an experienced bfer at this point. Had more problems 2nd time round but nothing serious, solved them myself with Kellymom.

The community midwives, both times, were great but I didn't get to see them often enough. HV's were great, very pro bf. Didn't really see much of the GP so don't know what their attitudes were.

I am in Wales. My son is 6 months old and I am still breastfeeding.

My son was born with complications so taken to neo-natal. About 5 or 6 hours later someone came to tell me they would like my permission to give him formula. I agreed but said I wanted to breastfeed and would like someone to come and show me how to express. I got help straight away but still feel like if I hadn't asked I migt not have been offered help. Every feed he had after that was my expressed milk and after about 3 days I was able to go up and try to breastfeed. The help I got on the ward to express was amaing but there was very little help available in the Neo Natal unit when it came to breastfeeding. I wish they had had a dedicated breastfeeding person working in the unit as I had to rely on staff which changed every few hours and had lots of conflicting advice. I also felt like by attempting to breastfeed some of the nurses felt like I was in the way of their 4 hourly bottle feeding routine.

They did have a breastfeeding/expressing room in the unit and on the surface seemed to support breastfeeding but I was pretty much left alone to deal with latching on my baby etc.

Once home (after 9/10 days) I had help from the midwife (grip and shove method) and then from a dedicated NHS breastfeeding person who was much more helpful and my son was pretty quickly exclusively breastfed - I also got some help here :)

I think mums who have babies in Neo Natal need a lot more help than I was given.

btw I am in Cardiff too. not sure who I had on the ward but she was brilliant.

With DS in 2002, I was helped with the first feed by the midwife in the labour suite grabbing my boob and seemingly shoving DS on. I wasn't sure how to get him to latch on properly, and despite repeated requests for help on the ward, I wasn't shown again. I was even told "If you were on a desert island, you'd find some way of feeding him!" and handed a leaflet.

I gave up after a week, with blistery bleeding nipples and mastitis. The CMW never came to visit me and the HV didn't come until DS was one month old. I was 20 at the time, and listened to my mum who had FF all of us repeatedly telling me just him a bottle as he was getting so distressed trying to latch on and DP gently suggesting it too. Although TBF he was worried as every feed resulted in DS howling and me sobbing trying to get it right.
This was in Dublin, BTW.

bf my first DD for two months, wasnt a great experience, I had problems, in the hospital instead of offering advice, showing me, they shoved baby on my boob, and when that didnt work they basically milked me, ( squeezed my boobs, and sucked up the milk with a syringe). They were v. impatient with me! In the end my community midwife expressed concern that I was becoming increasingly depressed ( the bf situation got worse) and recommended that I went on to formula. I think had I recieved better advice and care, I would have continued to bf.

can't believe all the boob grabbing. really. . the peer support group/clinic i went to had a hands off approach AS POLICY. if anyone goes into hospital again to have a baby please say 'get the f* off my boobs!' and get me someone who knows how to enable me and my baby to breastfeed.

I had the usual mixed help from MWs and HCAs on the ward - I was in for 8 nights with DS1 and I do think this helped rather than hindered my breastfeeding - I used to call for help with the latch and aout 50% of the time, someone had come before I managed on my own. There was a small amount of boob grabbing, which I didn't mind per se (and didn't know it was Wrong) and a few MWs really pushed feeding lying down and cosleeping (and offered bed guards!) so that was good. I also had my mother talking me through latching and calming me down. I honestly think that having a mother who breastfed made all the difference in the early days, both in terms of support and my own expectations of myself.

When I got home finally, I went round to the local (UNICEF standard) midwife unit in a cottage hospital and had some mixed advice (at 6 weeks, one old skool MW suggested that DS1 was snacking, being lazy and that at his age should be lasting 4 hours between feeds! ) but on the whole it was great. I also rang an NCT bfc whom I already knew, and she came round to look at his odd thrashing, head-shaking behaviour (we never got to the root of it but in retrospect, I think this was perfectly normal newborn behaviour, 'scanning' for the breast). There was a bf cafe I went to with a friend in a nearby town. And I think the best form of support was my antenatal group, most of whom were breastfeeding - we'd just sit in one another's houses with boobs out, comparing tips and moaning!

DS2 (homebirth) - actually a rockier road than the first time, but by then I had some breastfeeding books and had read a lot more, knew the online resources etc. I've called an NCT bfc a couple of times with queries, my MW was great in the first few days, and we've dealt with blocked ducts by recourse to MN, Kellymom and my books!

We are actually very lucky here - there are many bf cafes and drop-ins, there's a (retired but still unofficially working) NCT bfc available, the local MWU is generally great for support... I haven't met a bad HV who was giving out poor advice, either, though I know there used to be a couple round here who were shocking. I was so impressed with how vital good support is in the early days, that I looked into training as a BFC with the NCT and did actually start the diploma course before stopping to have DS2. Sadly, since I went on time out, they've changed the way they're running it and changed the terms of the student agreement we signed, and when I was asked to commit to continuing (and start paying towards the course) after 6 months time out, I withdrew from training. I'm really gutted about this - above all, we need more trained BFCs on the ground, but at this point in my life, I just can't do the course.

to be fair I was grateful for the boob grabbing when I was expressing on the first day as I found it impossible to express by hand myself. I was quite literally milked by a series of different women. Was very relieved to get on the pump though.

I had both of my children at the Royal Sussex. The Support was pretty much non existent when i had DS. I went down to the ward at 11pm, DS was pretty much screaming all night in hunger, no help was offered to help him latch on. When i was visited at home by the midwifes i was in agony and was told, quite helpfully (?), that despite pain i had to keep in mind that i had to feed my baby- of course that was true but i felt like screaming at her, 'HO W', stating the obvious doesnt help!

With DD, who was born this March my experience was better. I had a Student Italian midwife and she was very encouraging and proactive with ensuring skin to skin contact, latching on. Also, a breastfeeding counsellor came around the ward. Unfortunately DD löst 12 % of her birthweight so it wasnt going aswell as i thought. However, i had a very good Health Visitor he told me how to feed her so she benefited from the full fat milk. I have yet to weigh her because we have recently moved but she looks fine.

Absolutely zero in London 7 years ago with DS. Everyone (midwives, HV's, docs ) told me it must be done, but no one showed me how. DS was ventouse delivery, had very sore head and wouldn't feed at all the first 2 days, all the mws etc clucking and fussing round that he wouldn't feed, but none helped or showed me how "Its up to you". It was unbelievably crap.

The first three months were appalling. Very painful, very sucky baby, I nearly stopped so so many times. DH said I would be letting myself down, and that his mum had bf him for 6 months. I should keep going and battle through, I'd regret it.

I managed 8 months, after month 4 it got better. DD was much easier, breezed through the 8 months, no issues and didn't need any help ( wasn't offered any either ).

I was chatting with MIL when DS was about 2 about how she got on with 6 months of bf and she spluttered her tea out. "6 months?? He told you that? I did 2 days, dear."

I didn't speak to DH for a bit after that.

While in hospital it was very mixed, lots of different views from nurses, assistants etc on which way was best to hold her, how often I should feed, how long to feed for. And they tried feeding her formula in a cup straight after birth when she didnt latch first time :( Also told me I was unlikely to bf successfully as I have inverted nipples.
Much better when I finally got out and came home. Community MW were really hepful and advice was much more consistent, GP was great too. First six weeks were tough but shes 7months now and Im so glad we persevered :)

Both DDs were small (5lb 1oz and 5lb 8oz). Unfortunately this meant paediatric involvement from the beginning for both of them. The paeds consultant on both occasions 'liked to see how much small babies were getting' i.e. liked forumula. During my hospital stay with with DD1 I let them bully me into 'topping up', with DD2 I shamelessly poured their formula down the sink and lied. On both occasions they kept me in the hospital for 2 or 3 nights, which was hellish. The first time I came out with a massive thumb-print shaped black bruise on my left breast from where a midwife had 'helped' me express.

Despite the efforts of the paeds and some of the MWs, on both occasions I came out of hospital breastfeeding exclusively. DD1's severe reflux was ignored by the HCPs until she vomited all over one of them ... and then we instantly got readmitted, as the Dr finally believed that she turned almost blue during it! I moved to expressing so I could mix her reflux meds in with the milk, but still refused to top up. DD1 slowly gained centiles on the FF baby growth chart. My HV repeated told me to give up and that I'd been 'enough of a martyr' to the breastpump. She refused to write down that DD1 was breastfed as it was 'only' expressed milk. I exclusively expressed until DD1 was 14 months old, and only wish I had the courage to tell the HV where to get off at the time.

DD2 latched like a dream. Staff kept coming to ask to check the latch and I kept politely pointing them in the direction of the woman in the bed next to mine, who was having a hard time. The paeds consultant kept nervously showing up and asking why I wasn't giving 40ml formula per 2.5 hours (hence my move to pouring it down the sink). He also tried to force me to put DD2 in the heated cot (rather than skin to skin as we were doing ... I was hotter than the cot by some margin!). I got home, rang the health visitor and bluntly asked her not to contact or visit me at all, for any reason. And we got on with feeding on our own. DD2 is still feeding now at 16 months and we're aiming for beyond 2 years. DD1, now 33 months, drinks 10oz breastmilk per day. Yes I'm proud (NOT SMUG) because it has taken a lot of determination and the health care professionals did everything they possibly could to undermine our chances of a successful relationship.

I hate the assumption that small babies automatically can't cope on breastmilk alone, I HATE how abnormal and defective they made me feel for growing such small babies and then 'failing' to nourish them properly (by arguing about formula) and I REALLY HATE being made to feel like a second rate breastfeeder because I expressed.

Phew. That's better!

I was keen to bf ds, but at the hospital they kept asking me if I wanted him to have formula - I said no, even though the second night it felt like he fed constantly between about 9 pm and 2 am. My midwife was okay, but didn't really help with positioning/latching on. After a couple of weeks things got really painful, the midwife just told me that everything looked okay, so I got in contact with a local breastfeeding counsellor. She was amazing, and I totally credit her for me continuing to bf ds. If I hadn't contacted her, I would have given up because it got too painful.

Naff all help in Essex. DD was wheeled away from me at 7am by nurses who were going to feed her a bottle. Didnt wake me, only because I heard the wheels I spotted them and had to scream at them to bring her back to me (cesarean so couldnt get out of bed quickly). I thought something had happened to her. Bloody insensitive a*ses. Plainly had 'nothing' to do and just wanted to play with a newborn. Scared the flipping life out of me. I had to wing it as they didnt have time to show me bfing (although had plenty of time to give it a bottle!)

DS was born by EMCS and was showing signs of infection. So in the recovery room the MW gave us about 10 minutes to attempt to latch (the first time I got to hold my DS), then helped hand-express into a syringe, gave DS that, took him away to have cannula inserted, instructing me to meanwhile keep hand-expressing into syringe. She 'threatened' that if we didn't get at least 3ml out by the time he was back, he would have to have formula. I couldn't do it by myself. Luckily my mum was there and helped. Until they turned the lights off - mum couldn't see enough anymore...

Later on, bf was going well... . We had to stay at hospital in transitional care for 10 days due to the ABs he was getting. On day 4 DS stopped feeding. I asked for help. Lots of times. Every time, a MW or nursery nurse came, said 'let me see your latch', then left because it was fine. No help with the fact that DS came off or fell asleep within 30 seconds of them leaving. Or in the other cases, when DS didn't go on at all - just screamed with hunger - did the baby-to-boob-shoving thing, then left, despite me repeatedly telling them he was not on properly, was not suckling, was about to fall asleep. I saw about 10 different people and everybody thought I was probably doing it wrong wrt the latch, everybody showed me 'how to do it' before realising that I was doing it ok, and once they saw the latch was ok, nobody considered that there might be another problem going on.With the result that by day 6, he had to be tube fed as he was starting to be severly dehydrated.
Got lots of help with expressing, and a fabulous nursery nurse 'tricked' the paeds into removing the tube and letting us attempt bf again after 48 hours. Though found it difficult how the MWs/NNs and paeds didn't work together. Paeds said 'must tube-feed x amount 8 times/day, absolutely must, serious risks if not' and MW decides in the middle of the night that less will be ok too. Me, confused and unconfident as a result.

After going home at 10 days, MW came to see us once, then discharged to HV. MW and HV both assumed as we had been in hospital for so long, we knew what to do. And we did, in a sense, latch was alright and all, but DS was still not well, still on ABs, and too tired to feed enough, so my supply dwindled and nobody realised anything. Nobody had told us to look out for this either. I assumed that as he was feeding for a while, then falling asleep, things were ok. HV observed feed once, and left saying everything ok, when she came back - we had meanwhile been in A&E because of renewed weight loss - she mentioned she 'had been worried but didn't want to say anything' ...

At A&E the verdict was simple - you don't have enough milk, you need to give him formula. Nobody mentioned that there are ways to increase supply...

So we were expressing, putting to breast, and topping up - lots of - EBM by bottle. HV kept going on about how we could impossibly keep that up, didn't we want to give ourselves a break, there was nothing wrong with giving formula.

We went to see the hospitals lactation consultant. It was fab, she took lots of time, showed us how to increase supply, how to encourage DS to take more from the breast, encouraged us to keep going without exerting pressure. Gave us her private phone number for in case we needed out-of-hours help. Thanks to her, we got back to EBF and are still going (DS 10 months now).

It really upsets me that this fabulous, helpful person was available a few doors down while we were in hospital, and no-one ever suggested we see her - despite the huge problems we were having. Everybody seemed to think they knew best. Even when DS was clearly ill from not having enough milk, nobody believed me when I said that despite the latch being good, he was not feeding, and nobody thought that seeing an expert might be a good idea. And I didn't find out about her until much later...

Sorry for length.

I'm in Bromley. I had help with first latch with DD1, though this sometime after the birth and formula was being threatened! Hospitals in this area will no longer provide formula now though.

I recall being in tears as DD wanted to feed constantly, which was at odds with what I had been told about the first three days about babies just sleeping. A BF support midwife found me in tears told me it was normal as she was a big (9lb) baby.

What you don't get in the NHS is any indication of what it will be like the first few weeks, such as the constant feeding while they get the supply up, which is almost unbearable (I learnt about it from googling my problem and finding a discussion thread and that is how I discovered Mumsnet). I almost gave in but battled through. I've read such horror stories on here and wonder why on one hand BF is pushed at you, but the hospitals will often go for the formula route rather then proper support, probably because the resources aren't there.