What help did you get with breastfeeding?

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Just been listening to radio womens hour and discussion about availability of Formula in hospitals. I've bf 3 babies but was very grateful with last baby to be offered formula at 4 am on the 2nd night after hours trying to settle crying baby.I was in longer after cs.
I continued bf, muddled through mastitis with an electric pump but no practical help at all from midwife's in the hospital or at home even with severe engorgement/ bleeding nipples/ mastitis or health visitors.
This was in stark contrast to the brilliant bf support I'd received with baby 2 in a different city. In Edinburgh Royal Infirmary they were bf zealots constantly checking and correcting position and latching, literally hands on even helping me hand express. If I hadn't received that support with the 2nd I doubt I'd have continued bf with 2nd or 3rd baby.
So I feel this is vital and wondered how it differs around the country.

YaMaYaMa Yes you can go to many bfing support groups when pregnant. Its exactly what you should do! So if you have problems you know where to go and will be seeing a familiar face. Wish I had done it.

Gave birth in Oxford, one mw helped me hand express and feed lying down at 3am. Lifesaver. Also had bf clinic at hospital, baby cafe and la leche meetings. Rest of mw and hv not much help, thank god for the unofficial support available and mn!

I sought out the help we needed. Had a million issues, a lot of which were preventable if we'd been listened to and helped. Emcs, jaundice, breast reduction, 100% tongue tie which we were told didn't exist(!), 14% weight loss, readmission due to weight loss, mastitis ... Turning point for me was talking to my nct group leader, after a week of tears and snotters, who recommended we get referred to a local hospital infant feeding coordinator.

Without me proactively seeking support, we wouldn't still be breastfeeding nearly 5 months on. The IFC was amazing, helping us over the phone until our appt.

Midwives were all giving conflicting advise, and no One believed us about the Tongue tie, or listened when I asked if my breast reduction may be causing issues.

Ds1 - was born at Tommies, got no support and I didn't really realise that he wasn't latched on properly so he wasn't getting much although he was getting a bit.

By the time I got home and it took few days to get the 1st day home visit from a mw he was getting really scrawny. Mw came with a student and was more concerned with showing her what to do than listening to me. When I asked for help with feeding she did the GT bing baby's head and grabbIng my boob and shoving the two together and said that's fine. It wasnt. She had only paid for 10 mins parking outside my block of flats and was determined that was all the time she was going to take, even though I'd told her before and during the visit that there was visitor parking that she could legitimately and freely use. And despite the fact that there were other complicating factors so needed her advice on several issues. And despite the fact they are supposed to come out every day in the first fortnight if you need them - which I did - she only came back once more

Second time around hired a fab independent mw having by this time moved to MK which at the time had just come bottom of the pile of maternity units in the uk. She was fantastic and helped and helped and I was out of hospital 5 hours after ds2 was born. She came up with all sorts of different positions when I was struggling and it worked - fed ds2 for nearly 3 years. But she was coming daily to start with if not more and as she lived nearby she could easily pop around when the baby needed feeding rather than turning up whenever was convenient for them.

I had varying support , with my first I ended up using nipple shields as he couldn't latch properly and these seemed to help . The mws on the ward were pretty hopeless , lots of grabbing my breasts and generally being man handled . However my ds had to go into scbu for one night and they put me in touch with the lactation counsellor and she was brilliant .

They let me take an electric breast pump home with me , my ds was syringe fed in between breast feeds as his latch and lack of energy made things very tricky . She then travelled 20miles to see me twice and helped me enormously .

Unlike my local mw who couldn't believe I was going to so much trouble and wanting me to ff .

With the next two children we both seemed to know what we were doing and all was well thankfully .

When I was pregnant for the first time, I went to community antenatal classes where breastfeeding was discussed in detail. We also had a session where a video was shown, and we practised with dolls.

When DD1 was born the midwives in the hospital were very helpful. Each time I tried to feed and failed, I could press the button and one of them would come over to help with latching on. Then when we went home, it became so much more difficult to breastfeed without a button to press, and DD started losing weight, and I got so depressed... But the CMW got the breastfeeding coordinator to visit, and she came back every day until we got the feeding going. I kept it up until DD1 was over 2 years old.

With DD2 I didn't need help, but I'm confident I would have received help if I wanted it.

So a very positive experience for me - and friends have had similar stories.

I'm in London. DD was a homebirth, but she was early and we were admitted to the Whittington a few days later as she hadn't latched and lost too much weight.

They were very supportive and had me express and cupfeed her my expressed milk. This was really useful as we discovered that the only thing wrong was that her swallowing reflex hadn't caught up with her sucking reflex yet. And then one day it did and she's been feeding ever since (She'll be 7 months on 4 July). After we were discharged, the HB midwives came every day until they were sure all was well with both DD and myself.

I had a home birth and the midwifes were great, they helped me get started with the latch and unfortunately I had to go in to Kings that night for the stitches to be checked... was a bit weak but I put that down to only having xmas cake to eat and a glug of champagne post birth..It was Boxing Day after all.

Anyway I ended up staying in for 2 days, there were probably 4 different midwifes checking on me and all making sure, sometimes a bit roughly with a well meaning hand here and there, that DD was feeding. Nobody ever mentioned the F word.

Because I had a home birth the midwife came back twice in the same week after I had been discharged and showed me different positions, checked the latch etc etc. Thankfully she showed me how to feed lying down which she said I should do because of the stitches...I probably wouldn't have healed so quickly otherwise.

The first week seemed to go OK but it became excruciatingly painful in week 2 and 3 but I carried on. I rang the breastfeeding helpline, I read Mumsnet, I went to see an NCT breastfeeding counsellor and I also went to a breastfeeding cafe/clinic a couple of times, the problem was as soon as I left and got home I couldn't do it again! I felt utterly crap and in agony.

Then a friend of mine came to visit, took one look at DD and said "bloody Nora you've got thrush" probably brought on by antibiotics. My sister came another time and put me in a comfortable position with lots of pillows and basically made sure I was comfortable. I'm 6ft and was finding it really hard to get in the right chair/bed everywhere I felt awkward.

So the midwives at the cafe/clinic didn't notice the thrush and I was furious with the NCT counsellor as she just wanted us to be in her video and basically wasn't interested when I needed help and couldn't wait for us to leave.

So I did feel that I had plenty of support, just too many conflicts of opinion and was peeved that the thrush was missed could have saved me a few weeks of pain...

I'm fundamentally quite lazy too and absolutely hated the idea of making bottles in the middle of the night...

I had some fantastic support from an NCT breastfeeding counsellor before DD1 was born. ( Basically hold baby towards your body, practicing with doll ) Once she was here she took to BFing like a duckling to water .. so did DS1 2.5 yrs later ( but I do have large nipples to attach to ) Only real problem was getting the two of them to ever stop !
And I did work through a mastitis like episode with lots of feeding - probably should have seen my GP, or called him out really. Other NCT counselllers were supportive regarding extended breast-feeding, when I felt I needed some support on this, and wondered how long it would all go on !

I had a conversation with a dear friend about this who wanted desperately to BF but ended up giving up.

I gave birth in the Royal Surrey Hospital (Guildford - an hour from London for the geographically challenged ) who pride themselves on the support they give RE breastfeeding and I know if it wasn't for their time, patience and constant help for the 5 days I was kept in I would have given up. They were all wonderful and now DD is 13 weeks old tomorrow and we are still exclusively BF thanks to them.

In contrast my dear friend gave birth in a hospital in Bury (In Greater Manchester) and told me that the midwives on the unit were insulting and she felt like they told her off when she got it wrong. Apparently they told her she "might as well just formula feed". I was quite shocked when she told me this as everything I had heard said that even if you only BF for 3 days then it is well worth it.

I had a huge amount of support from many professionals, but it still didn't work out, even though I very much wanted to breastfeed and tried my best for as long as possible.

Great support (I lvie near Edinburgh):

1. At antenatal classes they went through the theory, although I then did feel a bit of a prat putting the baby doll to my (t-shirted) breast - but at least they were trying to include breastfeeding as part of "having a baby".

1. In the hospital they were very supportive, checked the latch etc, reassured me when what he threw up looked disgusting ... Although I must say I was a bit miffed to find out that the bottlefed babies got wheeled away to the nursery to give mum a bit of rest - I couldn't sleep with mine beside me as every snuffle, even from someone else's baby, had me wide awake. I was blooming exhausted. They didn't even tell me they had a nursery.

1. Weekly breastfeeding support group at the local clinic, run by a MW and a HV. This was brilliant. You'd pop along for an hour, have a cup of coffee together and a structured natter about how you were getting on. Lots of feeding going on as well, helped to make it "normal" I suppose.

Excellent support at the RVI in Newcastle, I managed to establish and continue BF even after having to tube-feed formula for a while. Most importantly it was actual support and assistance and not judgy coercion i.e. there was formula available if you asked, it wasn't banned as it is in some hospitals. I think the problem is that many hospitals try to promote BF by banning formula, yet fail to provide any useful support to women who actually want to BF.

Queen Elizabeth Hospital London - I asked for help after a very traumatic birth and wait for it..... They gave me a leaflet!!!!! Thanks for the help QEH!
( struggled with bleeding nipples for weeks continued until 5 months because it took that long to get dd1 to take a bottle) I was too nervous to go to BF support groups

St Thomas's hospital London
Elective C section All of the midwives checked my latch, there was a breastfeeding 'lesson' ( although I disagreed with a lot of what was said)

No bleeding nipples but recurring blocked duct
I have been to local bf support once at my local surestart the counsellors were brilliant and the lady who ran the session even phoned me at home the next day to see how I was.
Still feeding dd2 at almost 6 months
I find the night waking hard though ( who doesnt!)

Best help I received was from a pencil drawing-style picture I printed off from a website the day before delivery. It showed a simple pic of a baby latched on properly next to a drawing of a baby latched on incorrectly - just a tiny difference, but seeing it visually, gave me the confidence to know how baby's mouth should look, and my baby and I had no probs from the first moment she burrowed up to my boob. Later on, next door neighbour advised "feed through" the pain, or else I might have given up at one stage. Then, Health Visitor messed us up by telling me that I needed to feed baby longer on each boob. That caused excess milk, rock hard boobs and severe pain, but proper Breast Feeding Councillor said HV was talking rubbish, given baby was three months old at the time and already knew how much she needed. HVs are not specialists - always try a breastfeeding clinic/babycafe even if it means a phone call to a different town. I'm still giving one BF at night at 16 months and am saddened by the prospect of stopping.

My baby was not interested in feeding for the first 48 hours (turned out was because had Hirschprung's disease) and I reluctantly agreed to let him be given some formula in hospital as they were getting stressy about him being dehydrated. However, the midwives encouraged me to express and the best one did a "hand on hand" to help me hand express, as I was really struggling to get anything out. My son was transferred to another hospital 160 miles away to their intensive care. I continued to hand express until he was well enough to be able to feed from me. If that midwife hadn't helped me hand express, I wouldn't have been able to bf him at all. Still going 9 months later.

Not great to start with. Lots of skin to skin after birth, but my midwife just did the "grab boob and baby" thing and didn't help me do it myself. Got transferred up to the ward about 10pm and did not see a single member of staff all night. Tried to feed her during the night but could not make it work. Finally got her latched on in the morning just as the volunteer LA Leche person came round. Thought I was ok then so she went away.

Went to a breastfeeding talk in the morning and tried to take in the advice, then went home.

Persisted with feeding at home. Had real problems on one side, HV suggested trying the rugby hold but didn't show me how. Again I was feeding at the time so it probably looked fine. She didn't take a look at my latch.

Feeds started to get more and more painful by the third day and I knew something was wrong. Baby was getting jaundiced and very sleepy. I called LLL but not being able to see me it wasn't much help. By 4 days post birth my nipples were bleeding and I knew something was very wrong.

And this is where it gets better.

I called the midwives and asked for someone to come out. Half an hour later I got a call saying they were all really busy and might not be able to make it that day. However, the feeding specialist midwife at the hospital was in all afternoon and would be more than happy to see me.

So DH and I went to the hospital. That midwife sat with me for 2 hours to fix the problems. By this point my daughter was too sleepy to latch on properly. She gave me a manual breast pump and I expressed a bit, then she showed us how to cup feed so we could give a little milk to wake the baby up enough to feed. She had me latch and relatch until it stopped hurting. Then watched me give the feed. And then the same on the other side.

She saved breastfeeding for me. After a few feeds where I cup fed first I had a different baby who was feeding non-stop. My nipples healed up faster than I thought possibly. Now 4 months down the line I find feeding a doddle.

Had I not had that midwife available I'm not sure I would have kept feeding. She was just fantastic. Had I not been discharged in such a hurry she would have seen me before I left hospital and would probably have sorted me out from the beginning.

Sorry for the epic nature of this post!

Not much when dd was born after a horrendous traumatic birth, had a hca drag me out of bed when I was in agony to try and milk me (felt like) Dd was in scbu at this point with breathing difficulties.

I wanted to bf and in the end I think stubborness on my side was the only real reason I managed to bf for nearly a year (yay me!!!)

Having said that it helped having my mum support me (she had struggled to bf herself) and once we were both out of hospital I found a good bf suppport group that was really useful and helped my confidence.

No support at the Royal Free in Hampstead in 2006. Postnatal ward midwives showed every sign of hating newly delivered mothers.

Active discouragement at Lewisham NICU, also 2006.

Excellent support at Addenbrookes, Cambridge in 2010.

I have to concede that my support was brilliant- but I also have to admit it was a) private and b) in Australia!

I was in my own room in the private hospital a good week after the birth and got loads of help then, with every feed from the midwives (DS was a bit jaundiced but it was a blood incompatability jaundice so requiring a bit more monitoring). Then, when I went home I employed a -wait for it- breast feeding consultant! She came out every day for a week then as needed for as long as I needed. We struggled to feed, DS and I- it took him a fair while to work it out but boy, it paid dividends- I fed him for 11 months.

DS2, born in the same hospital, was a doddle (with my experience and his innate ability- latched on 2 minutes after birth!). I fed him for 15 months.

I am very grateful to that woman but of course, I was in a deeply fortunate position to be at a private hospital where one could access one to one help!

No support in hospital but my CMW was fantastic, she showed me a new position every time she came so that I could swap about and also showed me how to feed safely lying down.

I am v lucky though as my mother and MIL are both v pro-breastfeeding so when they were staying I was very well looked after. DH was a star as well and is still so supportive of me continuing to breastfeed - 18 months on!

DS (my first) is 19 weeks now and we had fuck all post-natal support

Had him in the early hours of a Sunday morning after a long labour, and didn't get to sleep until 5am, before being woken up at 7.30am by midwives slamming doors , so was absolutely exhausted. Despite great care throughout my labour and delivery, the post-natal midwives on the ward couldn't be more of a contrast and didn't seem to care at all about BF. Not ONE came to actually actively give me advice and hands-on support, and I had to buzz a few times to get anyone to show an interest, and they didn't seem to know what they were doing to be honest! I was discharged at 4pm the same day, and didn't have a clue what I was doing, nor did anyone check that we had the correct latch, we were 'getting it' etc.

The next day, myself and DP still hadn't slept due to DS being up all night. The midwife who came to visit us at home, again didn't offer any practical support, and instead gave us a leaflet and flicked through her list and said "Oh well you've missed the support group at X today, I suggest you drive to X (15 MILES AWAY) on Wednesday". Me and DP looked at each other and shook our heads (at this point we were almost hallucinating with tiredness, so driving anywhere wasn't an option at that point! Looking back we probably could've got a taxi but definitely weren't thinking straight). Then she left and that was the last we heard from anyone regarding bf. We were so tired, bf wasn't working and we gave in and gave DS formula.

I'd gone to bf ante-natal groups and thought i'd done my homework, but turns out I didn't have a clue who to turn to after actually having DS. I felt guilty for a few weeks, but not anymore as DS is thriving, but I do feel angry. If we have another one, I'll make bloody sure that no matter how tired I am, I or DP will kick up a fuss and make sure someone gives us the support before leaving hospital.

Sorry if I sound bitter. I think tbh if i'd been less tired, i'd have perhaps 'got it' better and wouldn't have given in so quickly, but so wish i'd had a friendly midwife to offer encouragement and support.

I had both my DDs at Addenbrookes too, support was really excellent, I had trouble feeding from my left side (DD1 didn't like it) and they just kept helping me, very patient.

After discharge was feeding well but DD1 was baby Dyson so I had blisters on my nipples, something about latch not quite right. A community MW came round, showed me how to do the rugby hold (which fooled DD into thinking she was on her favourite side all the time, ha!) - she really talked me through the whole process and watched me do it. She checked DD1 over and spotted tongue tie - said it was mild but to call if feeding didn't improve in the next 10 days (it did, and the tie didn't need separating).

Fed DD1 until 13 months, was pg again whsn ehs was 15 months so had no trouble with DD2 - this time at least one of us knew how to do it . But without the support from both hospital and communiy, I'd have given up.

Not much BF help offered at JR in Oxford with DS1, but was so lucky to get a few days afterwards in Cottage Hospital in Wallingford. Had two midwives pretty much to myself and got amazing support with the BF. Once I had gone home, local weekly 'baby weighing clinic' had dedicated BF counsellor in attendance every week to offer tips. She was fab and even did home visits. She came to me at home once when DS1 got a bit older and got fidgetty while BFing. All this for free. Fed him very successfully for a year. Similar help was available when I had DS2 , but after all the expert advice and experience I got with DS1 I didn't really need it and we were off and running from the start! Happy days!!

Interesting to hear other people's views of Edinburgh. Mine was quite different. I agree that they're zealots! However, maybe due to the fact that my DC was born at Xmas, I had little help. I remember trying to work out what to do myself as the (lovely) midwife who saw me through my induced labour went off shift. Eventually some one came in and sort of latched Dc on, but didn't really tell me what to do. Went up to the ward and when DC needed to be fed, I did it myself, then someone came round and shoved my boob in DC's mouth and said she knew what to do.

After I left hospital, (lovely) midwife checked me out, showed me again what to do and for the next 9 days showed me what to do. While she was there, it worked perfectly, as soon as she was gone, it all went to pot.

I eventually (after 6 weeks) burst into tears at the HV clinic because I still wasn't getting it right. They told me about a workshop at ERI. As I don't drive, it was a problem. I ended up breast feeding for 10 months, (through sheer bloody mindedness and a fear of failure) but my DC was in the 9th percentile (she was born 25th) and I never felt that I was feeding her as I should until she ate 'real food'. But I felt that I could give up as all the HCP's were telling me how much better it was for my DC. And perhaps I put too much pressure on myself to succeed (when really I didn't...)

So, my conclusion is: some help in hospital & lots of pressure to BF, but after the midwives sign you off, no help at all

I had DS at the JR in Oxford 11 weeks ago. Postnatal ward was a nightmare, had one midwife (I think she was anyway) try and help but DS ended up screaming as she tugged him around, then she decided I should use a syringe got one then left me to it. Didn't have a clue what I was doing and no one else came to help or advise, I was discharged by 9pm having got to the ward about 6am and only spoke to the one MW about BF.

Thankfully there is the BF clinic at the JR run by Sally Inch and Chloe Fisher and it saved BF for us. I went twice a week for 7 weeks after DS lost too much of his birth weight, they and the others that help there helped me through 3 weeks of expressing, engorgement, major oversupply, mastitis and a bad latch, all of this with a cup of tea and a smile! I also go to Baby Cafes which were brilliant as a confidence boost when really needed and just to chat to people.

MW and HV seemed very tick box happy (except one MW who did show us how to cup feed), though I've started going to a HV clinic that isn't run by 'my' HV team but they are much nicer and seem to know what they're on about!

I've also had amazing support and advice from my Mum, DH and on many occasions MN!