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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Bfing in public - Have you ever had any nasty comments?

51 replies

Gemtubbs · 25/05/2011 04:25

Hello.

I breastfed my DS1 until he was 9 months, but I always felt a little awkward when feeding in public and tried to avoid it whereever possible. It's horrible that we're made to feel this way. Got DS2 on the way now and planning on BFing again. I never did get any nasty comments before from anyone in public, but I was just thinking about what I would say if someone did have a go. Have you ever had any comments from people when feeding in public? What would you say to these people?

Thanks.

OP posts:

PenguinArmy · 25/05/2011 04:41

Never a bad comment only good ones

BagofHolly · 25/05/2011 07:16

Not a single negative comment at all, loads of positive ones, BF for 13 months.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 25/05/2011 07:44

Yes I have had comments, all positive ones .

HappyAsASandboy · 25/05/2011 08:27

I've never had a negative comment either. I just get in with it to be honest, so I don't think I'd notice if I was being glared at. So they'd have to actually come over, get my attention and say their piece. Can't imagine anyone making all that effort.

Go out, feed, and if anyone notices, smile broadly

Original poster

Gemtubbs · 25/05/2011 10:09

Oh that's really good and reassuring to know. Makes me feel like the world isn't as cruel and insane as it's made out to be sometimes. :) Thanks for the nice replies.

OP posts:

EauRouge · 25/05/2011 10:16

Nope, not even when BF DD1 who is 2.7 now. I still feed her in public although lately I have to force myself to. I've had a couple of positive comments from people but usually I don't think they even notice.

I've never tandem fed in public but that's because I've yet to find a way to do it without sitting on a big sofa and getting both my boobs fully out.

pirateparty · 25/05/2011 10:25

Nope, bf DS in public all the time and never had so much as a second glance and planning to do it again this time too, all being well.

And if I even notice anyone else bf'ing (which i rarely do) I always smile to myself and think how lovely. And actually despite not being a very confrontational person, I think if I saw someone being in any way berated for doing it, I would step in and say something/ stick up for the woman bf'ing.

nethunsreject · 25/05/2011 10:28

Nope, never had a negative comment and I live in an area where there is little bfing.

I have many bfing pals from support groups and of about 20 Ihave only ever heard of one negative experience. She was feeding her ds in a cafe when a man said to her 'you shouldn't do that in here' to which she replied 'well, you shouldn't be looking'. The other customers gave her a round of applause!

Elk · 25/05/2011 10:35

Another one with only positive comments, little old ladies in particular loved it.

I found if you just got on with it then most people didn't even notice.

RitaMorgan · 25/05/2011 10:36

Never had a negative comment, and I don't think most people notice. And if they do notice, they pretend they haven't!

Even with a very wriggly 9 month old who won't put up with any kind of cover/muslin/scarf over him, it's never been a problem.

BertieBotts · 25/05/2011 10:40

No, I haven't, even when DS got close to a year and I started to feel uncomfortable. I had one slightly surprised/odd look when he was around fifteen months, he's 2.7 now and though I don't normally feed him while out any more, I did up until eighteen months or so and still do occasionally in certain places.

Or maybe I'm just unobservant

jaffacake79 · 25/05/2011 10:42

I had one negative experience in a year of feeding.
A lady of about 60 ish told me I was "disgusting" for feeding my child in public at the service station where I was having a coffee and eating a sandwich at the same time. There was nothing on show, unless you particularly stared at me while I latched dd on. She was quite venomous and said that I should go and do what I was doing in the toilets and began making a scene.
I stood up (still feeding dd), and offered to escort her to the toilet where she could sit with me and eat her lunch and drink her tea while my dd had her lunch too. She was aghast! I quite succinctly told her to mind her own damn business, eat her lunch far away from me and to keep her bigoted opinions to herself in future. All the while her husband was trying to pull her away and kept apologising.
As I was leaving, he approached me with a small toy he'd bought for dd from the shop as a way of making amends.

But as I say, that was one comment in an entire year!

MerryMemoo · 25/05/2011 10:46

I love seeing a mum breast feed in public or otherwise, I think it's the most beautiful thing ever.

ErnesttheBavarian · 25/05/2011 11:13

I've bf 4, including last till age 2, so about 5 years bf in total and never once had a negative comment.

Don't worry :)

neptunesdaughter · 25/05/2011 11:25

Nope no negative comments only smiles and murmers of approval - mostly from older men and women. I've had lots of positive smiles from younger women with toddlers too who obviously want to be encouraging. This is usually when out with a group of bfeeding mums. I'm not sure many people notice most of the time if you are on your own.

I remember feeling a bit funny about bfeeding in public first of all but my first expereience was being taken out to Bluewater shopping centre just before christmas when dd was only a about 3 weeks old and she had a meltdown in a shop and the only place I could find in my panic to feed her was a seat right in the middle of the main 'street' next to lots of people eating lunch. Talk about bfeeding in a VERY public place! No one batted an eyelid and I realised it wasn't scary at all - most people wouldn't even have noticed I was doing it.

Cosmosis · 25/05/2011 11:28

No never, only every positive comments, and loads of those. I have found it works really well as a conversation opener actually :)

Pagwatch · 25/05/2011 11:30

I breastfed all three children, two of whom fed well into toddlerhood.

Never had a bad comment. Ever.

MovingAndScared · 25/05/2011 11:35

No nasty comments either BF 2 babies - one very postive comment from older lady - couple of looks that might or might not have been negative

Gemjar · 25/05/2011 11:39

I think that most mums arm themselves with a comeback speech to say to anyone who makes a comment, but I bet hardly anyone gets to use it.

I felt a little awkward feeding DS in public at first, not so much the actual feeding, but the latching on, moment of exposure bit. But I honestly don't think that anyone has ever actually noticed what I am doing never mind get offended by it.

I have had bad comments/looks from people for carrying DS in a sling, people seem to think that I am incapable of walking without tripping over and flattening him, but NEVER noticed even a funny look for feeding

InNeedOfCoffee · 25/05/2011 11:39

The only negative comment i had was from my sister, don't think many people have even noticed when i've fed in public.

sadiesadiemarriedlady · 25/05/2011 11:42

I think it's a beautiful thing to see. I bf all mine and never had a neg comment. I am slightly bonkers about it though, saw a pig feeding her newborn piglets at a farm at the weekend and just thought it was beautiful. Made me proud to be a mammal! (my husband thinks I'm nuts!)

WoTmania · 25/05/2011 14:06

I had some tuts but never any comments.

KvetaBarry · 25/05/2011 14:08

only from family :)

FetchezLaVache · 25/05/2011 14:09

Only ever positive comments, smiles of solidarity and thumbs-up across the room, etc.

Rosemallow · 25/05/2011 14:19

I've never had any negative comments, only positive ones. Including one from a lady of about 80 who stated loudly that anyone who has a problem withit needed a good clout!
I've got no shame feeding DC2 as I fed DD pretty much anywhere you could imagine!
A little gem I read on here always gives me confidence when I'm feeding in public. I can't remember which mumsnetter said it but I'm always ready with it in case of negative comments:
'you can either have my baby feeding or screaming, your choice.'
Brilliant!

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