How would you respond to this comment?

[hotcrossSES]

A friend of a friend commented to me the other day that she was having a business meeting in Starbucks the other day and was put off by 3 mums BFing. She said it was really difficult to concentrate on her meeting when surrounded by BFing mums and she felt it was inappropriate.

I didn't know how to respond. Inside I was seething and wanted to say "Maybe it was inappropriate to have a business meeting in Starbucks when most people go there to relax". I did comment to her that a while back I made a business phone call whilst having a drink in Starbucks and one of the other customers complained to me as she left.

How would you have responded?

It depends. If she was telling me this she would already know that I bf everywhere and anywhere, and that I would find her comments inappropriate.

If she doesn't know your feelings on bf in public, which I assume are positive, then I would put her straight, and say that it would be harder to concentrate on her meeting if 3 babies were crying with hunger in Starbucks. and then I would offer to top up her coffee with lovely, frothy bm

I would have told her to get a grip. (sorry!) bf is the most natural thing ever and if she finds it inappropriate then she has issues..

Is she a mum herself?

It's people like her that make new mums feel anxious and scared about bf in public for the first few times, especially if they have low self confidence and are very self aware (like me!)

I'd have said, 'Starbucks? What an odd place for a business meeting! That's a cafe where people meet to socialise.'

How crap of her!! What on earth is wrong with bfing in a cafe? Or indeed any public place?? I would have thought it was much mroe inappropriate to have a meeting there.

I would have laughed and said "I used to bf in public all the time, You would have been very uncomfortable if you'd know me then!"

and here was me thinking people come into Starbucks for a drink and something to eat.

Is she a mum? I'd explain to her how often baby feeds and how loud a baby cries when she wants her food. If she has any common sense she'd understand that 1) breast is the most natural food for baby and 2) new mums can't be expected to stay at home to avoid feeding in public.

Why is she interested in staring at other women's breasts? Is there something that she isn't telling you?

Three screaming babies would be more off putting IMHO.

"Why is she interested in staring at other women's breasts? Is there something that she isn't telling you?"

But you can't actually see the breast when the baby is latched on anyway.

exactly, no reason to stare then

Oh God, why do I join these bf'ing threads?

OK, if I was eating lunch in that Starbucks, I would be slightly put off by the sight of women bf'ing. Sorry, but not everybody is comfortable around it. I am one of those people. And I bf all of my DC. I saw something once that really nauseated me, I think that is why.

However, I recognise that it is probably my problem, so I would probably leave and go and eat somewhere else.

I'd laugh in her face and agree that no, Starbucks might not be the best place to have a business meeting. Why couldn't she go in the toilet?

BAB, what was it that once nauseated you?

Tell her to stop being such a tightwad and pay for a meeting room if she wants to avoid being distracted by normal people going about their normal business.

I bf both my DCs regularly in cafes & restaurants. I did it very discreetly and no-one would have known they were feeding unless they came up and stuck their noses in my chest. it just looked like I was cuddling the baby - no flesh on display.

I have never actually seen anyone bfing in a way that could cause embarassment to any reasonable person. I may have been aware of what they were doing, as I had done it myself, but nothing embarassing on display.

Some people, including the OPs friend, find just the idea of breastfeeding nauseating , so cannot even stand the knowledge that it is being done near them.

They have very deep-seated emotional issues which warrant professional care.

I totally agree with FirstTimeMum
It is appalling attitudes like this that put mums off breastfeeding in public, and probably contribute to our appallingly low rate of breastfeeding.

If everybody else is having a drink/snack why should the baby not??

I am afraid I don't have any witty response to suggest as I am rubbish at that sort of thing. I would either have said nothing, or gone red in the face and muttered something like 'I breastfed my DD in cafes all the time'

Cafes are the perfect bfing place. A drink and a snack! Plus, a bfing baby is quiet - most people prefer that to crying.

I'd ask her if she has issues around the area in a passive aggressive caring way.

Surely it would have been more difficult to concentrate if the mums hadn't had fed their babies....and they were crying with hunger?!

agree with carrots.

Totally agree with carrots. They should have hired a business setting then.
Frankly I would tell her to grow up.

BAB - sorry you feel that way, but at least you do have decency to recognise that it is your problem and would react appropriately. Unlike the OPs friend!

BornAgainBitch What did you see that puts you off seeing a baby being fed in a way that you yourself had done?

I don't really want to say, because it would sound like I was just being nasty. Which I'm not.

Fat mum's wobbly back?

or c sect overhang

I'd have asked why she thought it was inappropriate...they were there to have a drink, so were the babies.

I would ask her straight out what she thought was inappropriate and then lay into her if it's some stupid anti-BF answer go from there.

If you hold a business meeting in Starbucks, what do you expect? It's a public space. Don't hold a meeting in a public space if you are distracted by children/toddlers/grannies/people talking/noise from coffee machines/people walking by/rustling of newspapers...