How would you respond to this comment?

[hotcrossSES]

A friend of a friend commented to me the other day that she was having a business meeting in Starbucks the other day and was put off by 3 mums BFing. She said it was really difficult to concentrate on her meeting when surrounded by BFing mums and she felt it was inappropriate.

I didn't know how to respond. Inside I was seething and wanted to say "Maybe it was inappropriate to have a business meeting in Starbucks when most people go there to relax". I did comment to her that a while back I made a business phone call whilst having a drink in Starbucks and one of the other customers complained to me as she left.

How would you have responded?

I'd have laughed. She held a business meeting in a local coffee shop and expected to have a business like and professional atmosphere? That's just bizarre. I can think of many things I might see in starbucks that would be much less appropriate than a bit of bfing.

I'd then have continued with the comments mentioned above about the babies having every right to a snack/drink, the same as everyone else, and bfing being a lot more considerate than leaving a baby to cry.

Surely breastfeeding is the whole point of Starbucks? It's certainly not the coffee, or the dishwater "tea", but they do perfectly good hot chocolate and muffins for refuelling mother and baby, and are always happy to give you a glass of tap water as well, and have huge easy-access babychanging areas and comfy chairs.

Whenever anyone says they're worried about bf-ing in public on their own, I always specifically recommend Starbucks as a stress-free starting point; you start there and work your way up to the Da Vinci exhibition, St Paul's Cathedral or the number 88 bus.

The problem may be that the Square Mile coffee shops are often used for business meetings, so different clientele identify them with different needs.

Your friend sounds lik a right tool.

Although my own response would be ruder, I think CocktailQueen's is both polite and to the point : I'd have said, 'Starbucks? What an odd place for a business meeting! That's a cafe where people meet to socialise.'

Must have been a very high powered business meeting if it was in Starbucks

Tell her to get a grip.

Starbucks was my breastfeeding in town venue of choice.
DS started rooting as soon as he could smell the java wafting from the doorway.

Wow - only just come back to the thread and wasn't aware I'd had so many replies. Also pleased that everyone has a similar view that she was BVU.

She is a single woman in her late thirties and I really don't think she realised how stupid a comment it was, although she does know I BF DS. Maybe the best thing I can do is to make sure when DC2 is born, I BF as and when the baby needs - putting his/her needs before the uneducated views of others

BornAgainBitch - you've intrigued us all on the thread I think. At least you realise that it is your issue and don't impose that on others.

Its people like this that make me feel so anxious. DS is 8 weeks and I haven't brave bfing in a cafe yet. I'm still timing my outings. I can feel the public feed happening soon though. Once over the hurdle and all that!

G'wan Annpann, it is absolutely liberating once you start. No schedules, no stress, just feed whereever you are!

As to the OP, I'm not sure what I'd say. Probably the line about 'would you rather the babies had screamed all the way through your meeting?' Still think she sounds like a tool though.

Annpann please don't worry. My DS is also 8 weeks old and I had a KIT day yesterday where I had to breastfeed in a business meeting. I was a lot more anxious with my first child, but no-one ever minds and if they did it would be their problem anyway! Breastfeeding baby so much less offensive than screaming baby in my and most of the sane world's opinion

A friend of mine said something similar to this when he came to visit me in hosp after I'd had my son. I was sitting there trying to get baby to latch on and he said "oh god you're not going to be doing that in public are you?!" He is very gay and very bitchy so I just laughed and ignored him. After about ten minutes of him banging on about all the bfers that come into the restruant he works in with "their boobs hanging out all over the place" etc I snapped and told him to shut up and asked why he thought the babies shouldn't get to eat while everyone else is! He laughed and said 'true' and now doesn't bat an eyelid when I feed, wherever we are. Sometimes people don't realize how unfounded their ignorance is.

Surprised by the continous mention of 'being discreet'. Bfing in public should be acceptable even if your whole boob is on display. It can be very difficult as well, especially if you've got larger breasts. Not saying everyone should be sitting round in starbucks topless but that we should all be able to bf anywhere, however it is the most comfortable.

Oh I totally understand how you feel annpan but honestly feeding in public is fine.
The first few times I bf DD in public I did just have to grit my teeth and make myself do it. But very quickly it just became second nature.

A couple of my friends had breastfeeding apron things but I feel they draw more attention to you, and also found it a huge faff to try to get DD latched on while she was under the apron.

Perhaps you could ask if her business meeting was very boring? After all she noticed what at least 3 other people were discreetly doing.