warning! contraversial!!!

[dandycandyjellybean]

I have a two week old baby who is breast feeding exceptionally well given his traumatic birth and that i had a c/s and feel pretty lousy. However, I am finding the constant demand for feeds and the lack of sleep very exhausting and am crying a lot. Some of my friends who have bottle fed have suggested that switching from b/f to the bottle might help, as bottle fed babies tend to sleep through the night a bit more and that the whole feeding process tends to be quicker. However, I am terrified that if I switch and he hates the bottle I have made an awful choice for my son and then there is no going back. Can anyone provide any positive feeback with regards to switching from b/f to the bottle, or is this just too, too contraversial?

I think it is a very personal decision but you should do what is best for you and your family. Don't worry about anybody else! Good luck

dont switch! it will settle and bottle feeds will make no difference imo.
sil and bil stayed here with their 6 wk baby and he bottle feed evey 2 - 2 1/2 hrs all night and day - they dont tell you this in real life!
keep going , youre doing really well by feeding him and you must decide to do nothing else for a week or two, if he's your 1st. just plenty of bed resting and no cooking/cleaning!!
if he is feeding well then you are on a great road for success.
breastfeeding can become very patterned and easy going, you made a good choice!

Sorry you're exhausted cubby. Well done for bfing this far at least.

Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but, by all accounts it's a myth that bottlefed babies sleep through the night.
Sadly, newborns aren't designed to sleep through the night. Their tummies are about the size of walnuts so the milk passes through them pretty quickly and it's right and proper that they wake for more because they're hungry.
But that doesn't help you I know.
I've always had mine in bed with me. Then at least I don't have to get up to feed them.
Some people express milk (though I never really got on with this) and then perhaps someone else could do a nightfeed for you.
If I could be equally controversial, even giving small amounts of formula cna interfere with the supply and demand you and your baby are building up together.

Is there anyway you could sleep more in the daytime? Have you got anyone who could help you?
Don't just struggle on. It sounds like you're having it really tough.

congratulations on the birth of your son cubby. i think that all 2 week old babies exhaust their mummies, whether they're breast or bottle fed. in your position i would carry on breastfeeding, but try & make sure that it's all you do - let your partner/mum/friends do everything else for you & the baby. and spend as much time as possible in bed. hope you feel better soon.

Could try expressing your breastmilk & getting your dh to give it in a bottle xxx

It's hard after a section. And breastfeeding is hard to establish sometimes, but once established, it's much less work than bottles. No sterilising, no stuff to take out with you.

They feed less often, the older they get.

I slept with my babies when they were tiny, and that made it easier for all of us to sleep. Also, do you get any time off? If your baby is gaining weight well, you can get your DH or whomever to take him or her away for a walk in the pram or sling or whatever for an hour or two, so you can soak in the tub, nap, whatever.

Obviously, if you want to switch, switch. But it's hard to switch back. And if breastfeeding is working well, it's better to stick with it. There's no way to know if bottlefeeding will fix the things that are troubling you.

Well if you think you are controversial, I can be more so. With my ds1 and ds2 I mixed fed, eg breastfed and bottle fed. I found them both to be very demanding for milk and just didn't feel able to keep up the feeding all the time. There is no doubt, breastfedding takes a lot out of you (apparently more demanding on your body than pregnancy) and if you are weeping and stressed and constantly having your sleep disturbed it can be very hard to keep going. I found letting them have as much as a bottle of formula a day helped to give me a break, took away from me the pressure of being the sole provider of milk, and actually worked extremely well. They did not stop suckling from me - I fed ds1 for 7 months and ds2 for 6 - and they were entirely used to bottles and teats etc when I did come to stop so difficulty getting them to take a bottle later on.

Try it if you want to but maybe be careful who you tell if you do go for it as some HVs were incredibly disapproving of the idea.

BTW, I also breast fed dd and ds3, this time with virtually no bottle supplements. In their cases, I fed for 12 and 14 months respectively, so I suppose exclusively breast fedding maybe does make you more likely to continue for longer, but it is not an endurance test you are undergoing! (Well, the endurance is parenting, not how long or how well you can breastfeed for!) Do whatever you need to. This is a hard enough time as it is without beating yourself up about breastfeeding.

Hang on in there cubby! You have had major surgery, you have a small baby and you are still functioning! You are doing so brilliantly and it WILL get easier

Spider's advice is spot on. I would add a ready supply of magazines, chocolate and radio during the night to get you through. Abandon all thoughts of doing anything but looking after you and the baby. I used to express and get my dh to feed the baby at 11-12 ish so I could catch a couple of hours kip. Take it really easy and remember it will get easier as the days pass! Must dash as my baby is awake and unhappy but will keep watching the thread and hoping you get a bit of rest soon.

Take care

X

Hi cubby

The first two weeks are really hard. The next four really should be easier, and then after 6 weeks it really calms down, honestly. If you can stick with it, it will be worth it.

I started expressing so that my husband could do it and I could get a better stretch of sleep early in the night. At 8 weeks we switched to formula for the last feed . It worked for us and meant I carried on bf longer than I probably would/could have done otherwise. But two weeks is really early to do that and may well as spidermama says muck up your supply.

Be kind to yourself. Let us know how you get on.

That should no difficulty switching to bottles!

Having read other posters' responses, I do agree with them eg getting lots of sleep yourself, eat whatever you like, rest during the day, dond't do any housework, take the baby to bed with you, it gets easier, bottle fed babies don't necessarily sleep the night, etc.

But I can remember the desperation of trying to feed and feeling that it wasn't enough, etc and I got quite over wrought about it. My mother (a paediatric doctor) suggested I tried mixed feeding and it just helped to break the cycle of worrying and stressing. This is such a precious time, when your baby is so tiny and new, that you don't want to waste it in tears and constantly fretting.

I must add, because people don't necessarily tell you this, bf-ing produces oxytocin the hormone of love. Very well worth having IME.

As others have said, it really does get easier and you're doing so brilliantly, especially after a C section.

xx

I switched and now have no regrets. It was the right thing at the right time for us.

YOU need to do what YOU feel is best for you and your baby now.

The hell w/other peoples' opinions about it!

hi cubby
congratulations on the birth of your baby and for persisting with bf this far.
I would echo the comments so far to say that the first six weeks are the worst... and once you have made it through that initial period things WILL start to get better. i am afraid that I can't offer any positive experience of switching from bf to bottle - I didn't do it myself and from what I have seen I think you may be v disappointed if you think that your baby will start to sleep through!
if your baby is bf "exceptionally well" then I can only suggest that you give it a bit longer and see how it goes. frankly, if you want my honest advice I think it is better to stick with it for now.
good luck and get some rest...

Well done cubby for bfing this far!
Introducing bottles in the early weeks should be done with caution as there is a danger that they could be put off the breast as the milk comes so much more easily from the bottle. There are also, as someone else said, supply issues which can have a particular impact in those early weeks. The first few weeks of bf were gruelling for me as ds kept refusing the breast and I had to express (also several times at night, and it took up to 50 mins each time!) and mixed feed, and once we'd made it to exclusive bf at 4 weeks he would feed for a long time, and I was absolutely knackered and tbh he desn't sleep through to this day, but it settled down and since then it's worked like a dream. Feeds are over in a matter of 10-15 minutes, and even the night feeds are not that bad as we co-sleep. I do still get tired, but that early exhaustion is gone. ds is 5 1/2 mo now and we're still going strong. I do understand and know (oh how I know!) about the exhaustion. But might it help to think that if you stick at bf now, you won't have all the faff of bottles, sterilising etc. later?
On your final point, it is a LOT easier to switch from breast to bottle than vice versa. If you switch to bottle and later regret your decision, you can relactate, but that takes a lot of effort and determination.
Also important: sleep when your baby sleeps! When he has a nap, you have one too. Some shut-eye for you is more important than a tidy house . And make sure dp/dh is pulling his weight!

Cubby, I'm going to be flamed for this but... even with all my efforts to breastfeed (and months of feeling guilty about my "failure" to do it), DS continued to sleep as bad as before the introduction of the bottle, he only started to sleep more regularly when I decided to introduce a routine. IMO the bottle feed babies who sleep better do not do so because they are formula feed but because they have a longer feed most of the times as you normally try to get the baby to finish the bottle, obviously you can do the same with breastfeeding by insisting in providing longer feeds rather than a series of small ones.

Another thing to consider is that the baby is going to take as much time to feed as before, DS was on the breast for 45 minutes and so he was with a bottle, so no saving in time there. Another thing is that it's a struggle to find the teat that suits your baby, some let go too much milk (with lots of poseting as a consequence), some too little, others are disliked by the baby and when you finally get one that baby feels comfortable with they have a growth spurt and you need to start again, so in the long run I believe it is much easier if you try to keep going. And don't start me in allergies... It will get easier, everybody says so

Hi Cubby
Agree with a lot of what's been said. First 2 weeks is hellish, stick with it if it's what you want (I also had a CS). At 3 weeks we started to realise that DD could probably feed for longer, less frequently (tried for 2-3 hrs which seemed to suit her), if we were able to stop her falling asleep at the boobs and distract her in between feeds etc. From then on, it was still hard, but I felt more in control. Things have got gradually better over time and I'm so pleased I stuck with it. At 5m I now give her a bottle at bedtime, no feeds at night and quick, easy and free feeds in the day! I had a love/hate relationship with bf for a long time, so I know how you're feeling, but I wanted to give it a really good shot (plus my brain wasn't tuned in to messing about with bottles, teats, sterilising etc - didn't even get my breast pump out till week 4 cos I couldn't be bothered working out how it worked!) If you want to keep going, try giving it a bit more time - maybe join a support group, see if your local hospital has one and come on here and rant! Well done for all the great work you've done so far and good luck

I can relate to all this as I had these issues with my first - constant feeding which is exhausting! Then when I had my second and third I realised that if they get a full feed, they really only need to be fed every 3 hours and by feeding my first constantly I just encouraged him to snack!

If you want some rest and to not be feeding all the time I suggest this:

• get baby into a routine - no I don't mean watch the clock, but rather help baby to understand that there is a pattern to the day: feed, little bit of awake time, sleep, feed etc... I found that in the evening feeding the baby, then bathing baby, then putting them down for their sleep at more or less the same time each evening established a bedtime from early on.
• Make sure they get a full feed. This is very important because if they only have a snack they will want feeding again in half an hour and so on... Feed on the one side until there seems to be no more. Spend 5/10 minutes burping then feed on the other side - this could take 45 minutes! But if they have a good feed, they should only need another in about 3 hours. Try and strech the time between feeds this way by going out for a walk, etc. Baby may be crying because tired, bored or whatever! If they are fed every time they cry, again they will just use the boob for comfort and snack!
• I agree with what others have said about the formula milk thing, ultimately it is your decision what you do and no -one should ever make you feel guilty for a decision you make, but I tried mixed feeding with my first and it made no difference to sleep. My second and third I fed as I explained above and they slept through at 8 weeks!!!
• Lastly eat well, try expressing and getting baby on a bottle as well and check the quality of your milk when you express - if thick and milky and plenty of it then there is nothing wrong with the quality of it. See a breastffeding councillor if you need more help - the NCT ones are free!

Good luck with whatever decision you make!

All that washing of bottles etc. is still knackering. Bfing forces you to sit down and rest. I cried a lot when I had a two week old (and shouted quite a bit too). And it got better - it honestly did. By 6 weeks I couldn't remember 2 weeks and by 12 weeks I couldn't remember 6 weeks.

Have you got a partner?

Also, get some iron in you. Lack of iron can be a problem when bf-ing and contributes to tiredness. Floradix is the best way to take it (available in the chemist or health food shop) as it has other great stuff and is easily absorbed in this form. It can really help with tiredness (but don't overdo the iron because it can leave you constipated).

Eat as well as you can.

Are you still there cubby?

Floradix won't constipate you. I know as I have tried all iron supplements and only Floradix made no difference to my bowels!

Hiya Cubby

Congratulations on the birth of your baby - I seem to remember you were worried about induction a couple of weeks ago, so well done on the first two weeks!

You've already had some brilliant advice here, so I won't repeat it!

But if you're just at the end of your rope through lack of sleep, etc, please see how you feel after you've had a rest, if that's possible for you - can you feed DS to the gills tomorrow and get somebody to take him out of the house for a couple of hours so you can sleep? I remember DH doing that for me and I felt like a new person after two hours' sleep.

Switching to bottlefeeding now may mean worrying about DS taking a bottle, worrying about which formula to give, how many ounces each feed, whether he's taking enough/too much, it might constipate him to change from breastmilk, etc, etc.

Or it might not - he might sleep longer, etc, etc. But nobody can tell you that this will definitely be the case, and from reading your first post, I think there's a good chance you won't make the switch without feeling guilty.

Why don't you try taking it one feed at a time - and please don't make the decision to bottlefeed in the middle of the night, when it all seems bleak and lonely and impossible. Please try sleeping when he sleeps, getting someone else to take him for a bit - and concentrate on getting over the major surgery you've had.

I know it seems endless and I know it's just too hard for words - but I promise you it does get better. You've already done the hardest bit.

Having said all that - it's totally your decision - the last line of your post asks for positive feedback about switching - of course there are people who have switched and it's all been totally fine - but the rest of your post suggests to me that you might not feel comfortable with it, however much it might seem like the answer to your problems at the moment.

Good luck with it x x x

Hang in there! I've happily bf'd one child and happily bottlefed another (and both were cr*p at sleeping at night). You may decide you want to bottlefeed but it isn't a decision to make at 2 weeks when you are hormonal, exhausted and overwhelmed. It wouldn't make anything instantly better, just introduce different problems. Waiting 4 weeks seems like forever but it will go quickly. Then see how you feel. Once your supply is established you could do both.

Do you have a bf'ing cushion so you can do it with both hands free (one for your chocolate and one for the phone!)?