warning! contraversial!!!

[dandycandyjellybean]

I have a two week old baby who is breast feeding exceptionally well given his traumatic birth and that i had a c/s and feel pretty lousy. However, I am finding the constant demand for feeds and the lack of sleep very exhausting and am crying a lot. Some of my friends who have bottle fed have suggested that switching from b/f to the bottle might help, as bottle fed babies tend to sleep through the night a bit more and that the whole feeding process tends to be quicker. However, I am terrified that if I switch and he hates the bottle I have made an awful choice for my son and then there is no going back. Can anyone provide any positive feeback with regards to switching from b/f to the bottle, or is this just too, too contraversial?

dont do it. stick with breastfeeding. the first two weeks are a nightmare whether you have an easy birth, or a hard one. stick with it, and soon it will be adoddle.
bottle feeding is much much harder.

Aah right. Positive feedback about switching. Well, I switched at 8 weeks. Ds went from being a sad, not-gaining-weight, screaming, not-sleeping baby to a contented happy little person pretty much instantly. He went from feeding every 90 minutes to every 3 hours. He went from 1-hr feeds to 15-min feeds. Dh could do feeds. I could give my dd some attention. I wasn't so exhausted cos not producing milk. I wasn't faffing around trying to express to build up my supply, and sterilising the wretched pump. You don't have to get up at night - you get a milk powder dispenser and have a bottle of water by the bed (no need to warm bottles). You don't even need to sterilise actually (different thread!). Bottlefeeding is great; I totally surprised myself by enjoying it.

But. If I'd done that at 2 weeks I would have forever wondered if things would have improved if I'd persevered with bf'ing, and felt guilty about it. As it is I know I did the right thing for us. And I know he got 8 weeks of my milk, which has to be good.

Congratulations on the birth of your son and successfully establishing breastfeeding. I'd like to say something positive for both sides. If you can keep breast-feeding, please do. It does get easier, quicker, more regular etc. Having always found breast-feeding painful, I have always been on the point of giving up. Every now and then I've given bottles of expressed breast milk and found the bottle feeding a much more bonding experience because it didn't hurt. Crying a lot in the early days is very normal, IME, and if you can, hold out on deciding whether to switch to bottles until everything has settled down a bit.

Hi Cubby, well done on getting this far. It is so hard isn't it. Sorry I have no experience of switching to bottles, but I just wanted to say if you want to BF then please stick with it. You will still be tired if you switch. BF forces you to sit/lie down and rest while you are feeding and you don't have to worry about all the faff of bottles, sterilising etc. TBH I think if baby is feeding well on the breast then that is your main worry out of the way, you just need to work on making sure you sleep when baby sleeps. When I was at that stage with ds I was so tired too, the birth and the shock of it all really knocked me for six, and when people suggested introducing a bottle to "give me a break", I really didn't see how it could do that. Bottle feeding seemed like more work to me and I was in such a mess I don't think I could have even got my head around making up a bottle properly! Although someone else could have given ds the odd bottle, I knew I would be feeding most of the time, so sticking him on my boob was much easier. Much better to get someone to take babe out in the pram for a nice long walk when you need a break. Everyone has said so, but it really does get better and you will start to feel back to your old self soon

cubby, aside from the breast/bottle issue (there's lots of good advice here), i had a long, traumatic labour and c/s and just wanted to let you know that i cried buckets for weeks on end. whatever you decide to do about the feeding, the exhaustion and crying are partly to do with what you've been through and the hormones, and will settle down.

"bf-ing produces oxytocin the hormone of love. Very well worth having IME. "

ermmm - and???? Are bottle feeding mum's not capable of loving their babies???? I bonded quicker with DS2 (bottlefed) than I did wtih DS1.

As others have said though - it will get easier, however, you need to do what is best for YOU.

Having one of each - I'd say that neither is 'easier' than the other. With both of them you get to sit down and rest (not sure where this idea that you can't rest while bottlefeeding has appeared from......never seen a 2 week old baby holding their own bottle ), and can have lots of skin to skin contact at the same time.

I think a lot of the time we're supposed to feel guilty about swtiching - because we have it drummed into us all the time that Breast is Best......but nobody bothers to tell you that in this case, 2nd best isn't that bad.

Whatever you decide to do, remember - enjoy your baby

Yes but the point about resting while bf-ing is that you always get to have the rest while doing it, not dp/dh or whoever else has offered to feed baby to give you a 'break' while you in the meantime get lumbered with strerilising etc long term. And you can lie down on a bed and fall asleep while bf-ing, you can't do that with bottles.

And yes it can take a good while for those hormones to settle down. I was still bursting into tears weeks down the line, but the bouts of crying became less and less frequent. Put off any decision making until the dust has settled and then do what is right for you

OK, I haven't read all the replies so I don't know if this thread turned into a contraversial "parping" thread or whether you are still getting helpful advice cubby ...

I wanted to share with you my story so that maybe it might help (or it may not ...)
I too had a terrible traumatic birth with my DS (ended in emergency c-section) ... I won't bore you with the details of it all but I was very messed up emotionally from it all and found the first few weeks impossible. He had a condition called Pyloric Stenosis which caused him to projectile vomit but at the same time be constantly hungry ... this was duly fixed by a simple operation when he was 4 weeks but I was a physical and emotional wreck.
I decided at 5 weeks (after another health scare) to 'mix feed' ... I had little or no advice on how to keep my milk going ... I was crying all the time and resenting my DS for the time feeding took and the sleepless nights.
Sadly unlike LonelyMum's children, my DS did not continue to breastfeed . The one thing a good friend did say to me was "Think carefully as you can't go back" ... I didn't think carefully enough about it unfortunately and although bottlefeeding helped in some ways (yes, his feeds became more regular, yes, DH could help, yes, he slept more ... but tbh he didn't really sleep through the night till he was 5 and a half years old so that is a myth IMO! Blah blah blah ....) I still regret to this day (he will be 6 at the end of this month) that I didn't give it a few more weeks and give him (and me) a chance to get over our early problems.

I have a DD who is now 21 months old. Hers was not a traumatic birth but was a c-section as well. I was knackered in her early weeks from the feeding but I promised myself that I would try to breastfeed to at least 3 months if I could possibly manage it as I didn't want to live with the regret again. By the time breastfeeding was truly established at 8 weeks (yes, it takes about 6 - 8 weeks to get settled) she was in a feeding pattern that wasn't far off a bottlefed baby anyway. I blissfully breastfed her for 10 months and we stopped when we were both ready. She has always been a better sleeper than DS ever was at the same age.

I am not one of these "You will damage your baby if you don't breastfeed" types ... I very much respect other people's decisions to do what they want BUT I wanted to say, please, think carefully ... your baby is very young and if you gave up now you may regret it and I still wish I could turn the clock back and breastfeed my DS for longer ...

HTH

If b/f is going well, stick with it. I had difficulties at the start like you tho b/f was going and had others telling me to bottle feed.

i tried to give my dd a bottle of formula a day to 'make it easier on myself' when dd was 6 wks old. she ended up with lots of wind and it took ages for her to bring it up and was v. colicky. IME spending loads of time trying to wind a baby was even more timeconsuming that bf and dealing with a colicky baby stressed me out. With b/f I would mostly put her to sit up straight and she burped.

Cubby, really hope you can keep going. Breastfeeding is SO much easier than bottle feeding. Can you co-sleep with your baby to make it less tiring feeding at night?

lots of good advice and support here

Cubby, what do you really really want to do?

I imagine your friends and family are telling you to try a bottle because they feel uncomfortable with you being so tired, but if you really want to keep BF, then keep coming here for support - we've all been through the first disruptive few weeks, and for most of us it does get better.

Or why not call one of the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers' counsellors, they very supportive and patient. \link{l \link{http://www.abm.me.uk\here is the website, you will find the number of a counsellor local to you.

HTH and as the others have said, well done you for BF so far

A 2 week old baby will not slepp through the night regardless of whether bottle feed or breast fed. You have done really well if the baby is feeding well on the breast then try and stick with it.

Bottle feeding may be quicker, but think of the prepartion , sterlizing etc, At least with the breast its there ,no sterlizing at the right temperature etc. Stick with it for a while longer, you are bound to be exhausted . I dont know what your circumstances are whether you have another child or this is your first.

If its your first then get as much sleep as you can when baby is sleeping , stuff the housework etc. You and baby come first.

Mkae sure that you are eating enough and take someting like supplements like Pregnacare that you can still take whilst breastfeeding as well as being pregnant.

Good luck

Message withdrawn

you sound knackered

express some milk and get your partner to do the night feeds for a few nights and see if that helps. Then decide. Good luck and congrats x E

How was your night cubby? And how are you feeling today?

One thing I would add to the advice on the thread - if you had an induction followed by an emergency c/s then you might find it helpful to have a "debrief" with a senior MW / a consultant to talk about what you went through. I had an induction at 42 weeks, a 30 hour labour, trial of forceps and then a c/s - felt really battered and emotional about it all afterwards. Talking through with the consultant and understanding what had happened helped a lot. Your MW or health visitor should be able to help you to arrange it.

Main thing for now though is to look after yourself - I would agree with whoever suggested the magic triangle pillow. With a bit of practice, you can balance the baby feeding on it leaving you hands free to phone, scoff, change channels from Countdown to ready, steady, cook etc. You can even shop if you have a few catalogues and a credit card to hand!!

If you can persuade dh/dp or a friend to take the baby out after a big feed for a couple of hours, you can get a bit of me time which will make you feel so much better. Could you treat yourself to a trip to the hairdressers or a pedicure or something ? i used to take the baby to the hairdressers and there was always someone there only to eager for a cuddle (with her not me!) whilst I was pampered a bit.

Hope you are bearing up - let us know how it's goin when you get a chance.

XXX

I had the same - induction, c-section and then, hey, mastitis after a week and you have my full sympathy, as it really is exhausting to the point of despair.

I kept reminding myself of all the benefits of b/f and told myself that I could do it for another day, and another day etc and generally tried not to look too far into the future. It won't be like this for long, it WILL get better. Best of luck

Mixed feeding? 90% of women in Vancouver BF, but over half of these also give formula, particularly for the last feed at night. That way, you get best of both worlds - a good night's sleep and the health benefits of BF!!

P.S. Those stats are from memory. And I do still have pregnancy brain

Hi Cubby.

Congrats on the arrival of your baby and for making it this far.

Great advice on this thread that will help loads of people and I just want to add that sterilising is NOT as difficult as all that if you need to use bottles for expressing or formula feeding.

You need a microwave steriliser and a microwave .

Wash everything to be sterilised in hot soapy water, rinse and then into steriliser and microwave on full power for 5 mins.

OK it's not as easy as getting boob out but dh or dp or friends or rellies can do it!

If you have a few small cartons of ready made formula in the cupboard then at least you know that you will be able to feed your baby whatever happens.

I switched to bottle at day 5 (everything was working fine but I just hated the fact that I was the only one who could feed her on top of everything else) and I now have a happy healthy 9 month old. Incidentally she has slept through the night since 8 weeks but I don't think it's to do with formula - she's just that kind of a girl!

Good luck and I hope that you can continue bf if you want to. if you don't though, it doesn't matter how many people say that it gets better, you will not enjoy it if you don't want to do it. For me it was the right thing to switch but only you can decide what is best for you and your family.

lol tatties - well of course if you got well practised like I did I used to walk around Breastfeeding - so never really rested - never quite mastered the walking and bottlefeeding though

And what if you decide to express......sure then someone else can give the bottle?

Mixed feeding does have its benefits. But you (and the baby) do not get as much benefit as you do from exclusive bf.

Also, most women who introduce formula before 6 weeks end up giving up bf earlier than they want to. I think if you want to try mixed feeding, it's best to wait until after 6 weeks.

I just wanted to say that I have bottlefed one baby and breastfed my second for 18 months. I'm expecting my third and am choosing to bottle feed this one. It's such a personal decision. I didn't find bottlefeeding hard, it DID give me freedom, ds DID sleep better, and I always found breastfeeding a bit irritating physically. I just don't think I can face doing it all again - certainly not for 18 months. I think however, that you should persevere for a few weeks longer. The first 6 or so weeks is always hard, exhausting. Give yourself another month - if you're still finding it unbearable after that time, then consider changing to bottles. The chances are you will wake up one morning and suddenly realise that the fog has lifted and you're enjoying it. If you don't give yourself that chance, then you will probably regret it because you will always be wondering what might have been.

Looks like Cubby is off getting some of that sleep!

I still think, hang in there till 6 weeks and then decide.

BUT I have to say this. Bottlefeeding is not difficult and it is not lots of work! It is not "so much harder". It just isn't. Bottle preparation took me 20 minutes a day, max. And I didn't always have to do it myself. And I spent less time washing milk-soaked pjs and bras and sheets and flipping breastpads.

And you do not need to sterilize. UCH neonatal unit advice is that you do not need to sterilize. See RTKangaMummy's excellent thread here: scroll down to RTK's post on 21 Sept 5 pm .

Whether bottle or breast feeding is easier depends so much on the individual mum. The point is, its not "carry on bf'ing cos bottlefeeding is so hard". Its "carry on bf'ing cos breastmilk is better for the baby and it gets easier". And if it doesn't, formula is an excellent second-best for the baby with a going-crazy mum.

thank you all so much for your input/support. perhaps i should have mentioned that my husband is disabled, and although this means he is around all day and is often incredibly supportive emotionally, it does seriously limit how much he can help physically, not to mention the fact that he needs quite a bit of looking after on his worst days. (i.e. last night he was ill in the night so just after having had a couple of wakeful feed / settle sessions with ds i then had to care for him.) i guess this is why it took us solong to get around to having a baby in the first place (17 yrs) cos i wasnt sure if i could cope...perhaps i was right.

I know people have said this before, but cubby, it will get better. having a baby is a shock to the system!

oh yes, especially if this is your first baby - it's such a shock to the system, you're still at that foggy, totally exhausted all the time stage. It will get better, honest - and quite soon. Although a month might seem forever at the moment. Small babies change so much so quickly. I just think that if you feel like you might regret your decision to bottlefeed, to just hang on in there for a few more weeks.