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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

If one more person tells me .. that baby cant be hungry.. again.... i may.....@#@#

29 replies

chloeb2002 · 11/04/2011 02:32

For pitties sake.. i know im lucky.. i live in australia where bfing is very very well supported and tolerated... but some times i just get sick of people at social type outings telling me that after dd ( 9 weeks ) has fed.. sat and giggled for an hour .. then gets grumpy and wants more cant be hungry.... WHY??? jeepers....she is still in the 85 centile for height and weight.. is generally very very settled and happy.. It doesnt bother me if she wants to be attached... so why should anyone else contribute.. in jest with my friends it is just fine.. but it seems some people are just down right overpowering...yesterday someone at a freinds house was nuring hewr and she was fist sucking.. getting grumpy so i said ok hand her back ill feed her agin... and i pretty much had to fight her to get her back! with oh .. dear.. ( patronisin expression) she isnt possibly hungry... just demanding.... GRRRRR ok.. off the soap box now.....

OP posts:

debka · 11/04/2011 06:22

My DD (8weeks) has a feed, happy for an hour, gets hand-sucky and grumpy- it means she's tired and wants to sleep, not feed....

EauRouge · 11/04/2011 06:48

It's totally normal to want to feed that often, people do love to comment on it though I offer to feed my DD2 every time she makes a peep and that's usually what she's after even if it's just for a bit of comfort. I think people either forget what it's like having a newborn (I know I did, I was shellshocked for the first couple of weeks!) or they don't realise how small a baby's stomach is so it needs refilling pretty often.

If you don't want to have to explain or get in a debate then you could just fob them off with something like 'she can't get enough, must be good stuff' or 'it's because it's chocolate flavour'.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 11/04/2011 06:59

'You're not feeding that baby again are you?'
A sentence that is guaranteed to make my blood boil and have me fuming.

Sounds like you're listening to your baby

So what if she just wants to comfort suck? I really don't understand why people feel the need to comment about it.

jaggythistle · 11/04/2011 07:49

at chocolate flavour!

'is it normal for him to feed/poo so often' was the favourite from my PIL.

notthewowy · 11/04/2011 08:05

"is she still feeding?" No, shes feeding again. Christ you'd think they'd be happy about it given that she's just gotten out of the special care unit. ( I feel your pain, thanks for letting me join in.)

WoTmania · 11/04/2011 08:16

Is she still feeding?
Are you feeding that baby again?
Surely he can't be hungry already?
Are you sure he doesn't just want to go in his cot for a bit, he can't be hungry, you only fed him a little while ago?

I feel your pain.

These days 'is she still feeding' means something quite diferent as DD is 2. They've given up asking when DS2 is going to stop

sophielouise · 11/04/2011 08:58

Yes I feel your pain! I just say something like - 'They are just tanking up for the night where they only wake once for a feed' ..

gloyw · 11/04/2011 09:18

I've had this so much, and it drives me round the bend - he's not hungry, he can't be hungry, don't feed him, distract him....

I think it's three things - one, treating small babies as if they are older children, or adults, even, and capable of quite complicated and manipulative behaviour. When they just aren't.

Two - the prevalence of scheduled formula feeding. It's just so dominant. My MiL, while broadly supportive of BF-ing, still says 'what time does he feed', 'when is his next feed', 'if he feeds now, he won't be hungry when it's time for his next feed...' She just doesn't fundamentally understand BF-ing on demand.

Three - I've come to think that SO many women's attitude towards food and feeding is in general is so complicated, they end up projecting them onto babies. Seriously. Telling a baby off for being greedy, or 'snacking', or telling them they've had enough and they must 'learn to go without' for a bit.... it's all the language of moral 'dieting' judgement, and I honestly think a whole host of borderline eating disorders came round with their owners to hover over my baby's head when he was tiny.

None of which should be my baby's problem.

Original poster

chloeb2002 · 11/04/2011 10:25

Funnily enough I have adopted the .. Well she has had chocolate and now fancies strawberry... I have also tried the .. Well her two siblings are happy and healthy and fed on demand too.. and yes I don't care if she is comfort sucking... It comforts me too! But I'm very glad I am
Not alone!! Thanks...

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 11/04/2011 10:33

It doesn't really matter if she's hungry, tired, bored, overwhelmed... She wants a boob and you have a boob

KaraStarbuckThrace · 11/04/2011 10:43

Well if you see these people having a drink or a snack - every time they do then say to them "what, are you eating/drinking again? You only had something X mins ago!".
They'll soon get the picture!

jaggythistle · 11/04/2011 10:46

gloyw you are spot on with your post.

I spent months trying to patiently explain about feeding on demend/on cue and my MIL eventually saw it as a negative thing, 'OH jaggy'sDS aren't you lucky to be fed on demand' because she compared him to my niece who was FF.

She was also of the opininon that you can't always pick them up when they cry. (those wee x month olds are so manipulating. )

japhrimel · 11/04/2011 10:46

I had that alot as DD fed on average every 45-60minutes when she was awake for ages.

It used to stress me out but I coped a lot better when my HV asked about it, but then pointed out that as DD likes her sleep, she needs to cram feeds into the time she is awake. Plus, as she lost loads of weight in the early days, she's into catch up. So now when someone comments I just put on a smug face and say "Yes, we're back up to the 25th centile now" or "Yes, it's because she sleeps through the night, you see".

ShowOfHands · 11/04/2011 10:52

Oh gawd, it drove me mad. Especially when they'd wrestle the baby away from you and say in that faux voice 'no no no baby, you don't want that, you just want a cuddle, come with me where you can't see/smell mummy' . DD would howl until brought back and allowed the milk she'd asked for in the first place and I would fume.

Even now she's nearly 4 and people still talk about how much I 'fed that baby'. She was the smiliest, pudgiest child when allowed unfettered access to milk but because she protested when people would try and stop her and whisk her away, people said she was unhappy. I should have started snatching the biscuits out of their hands with a faux 'no no no you don't want that biscuit, you just want a good slap with a wet fish, don't you?'

jaggythistle · 11/04/2011 10:55

ShowOfHands · 11/04/2011 10:57

Next time jaggy, next time.

paddypoopants · 11/04/2011 11:07

My fil once caught me feeding ds and took out his watch- turns out he was timing me between feeds and then preceeded to give me a lecture on the once every 4 hours thing. I was mortified. He then got out a page he'd cut out of the daily mail on BMI for adults.WTF? Ds was 4 months old and 25th centile for weight and 80th for height.

My MIL once pulled my boob out of ds's mouth when he was feeding and said "That's enough of that"- because he had been feeding on and off all evening. Even though they were pro bf they just couldn't get their heads around the on demand thing. they are lucky I still speak to them.

jaggythistle · 11/04/2011 11:09

if i manage to get pg, can i hire you to appear with a wet fish when imaginarybaby2 is born?

(only month 7 of ttc but already impatient!)

nethunsreject · 11/04/2011 11:11

Oh, it is infuriating.

BEst thing about bfing is that it is the cure for all ails! TIred, hungry, hurt, poorly, all fixed with The Magic Boob.

I bloody love it!

ShowOfHands · 11/04/2011 11:13

Have fish, willing to travel. I charge a ready supply of gingerbread.

paddypoopants, I would have bitten your MIL's hand as a reflex. And anybody that cuts snippets out of the Daily Fail wouldn't be allowed in my house full stop.

Ishtar2410 · 11/04/2011 11:19

Used to drive me mad! It seemed to be the stock phrase from people who hadn't breastfed their children - along with, 'it's really hot, you'll need to give some cooled boiled water'....arrgh.

I used to smile serenely and mention that I was the mum and I'd decide!!

jaggythistle · 11/04/2011 11:19

Holy shit paddy!

How often do most adults go without eating or drinking anything? I so wish I had realised that when I was getting my head nipped about feeding DS.

My PIL read the Daily Mail too :(

Lexilicious · 11/04/2011 11:32

You know, my PILs are Daily Heilers and they have not, since the very early weeks, mentioned anything about my BF-ing. In those first weeks they tried a bit of "would you like somewhere more private" and exiting the room at warp speed if I looked like I was whipping one out, but they've never actually commented much. I must just have The Look. I commend all the little comebacks written above, I think I used a lot of those with various commenters braver than my PILs.

DS is 20 months now and has a sleepy-first-thing-in-the-morning-cuddle-in-bed feed which we both love. At all other times of the day he absent-mindedly sticks his hand down my top, which I don't love.

I'm ready to stop now, just wanted to see him through a winter and have the old antibodies going to counter any sniffles and stuff. We've even had a couple of long-ish stretches apart (four days over new year, eight days in Feb, six days starting tomorrow WAAAHHHHH) and he comes back like nothing's happened. So yes, That Baby is still hungry.

well done btw and have a on me

paddypoopants · 11/04/2011 12:06

Ooh, I have some cracking stories about my mad in laws but I fear I may out myself if I reveal them. My PIL still think we feed our skinny minny ds (2.7) too much - apparently one apple should suffice for lunch and breakfast.

jaggythistle · 11/04/2011 12:27

We don't have a problem any more - he's 18mo and they go on about what a 'good wee eater' he is.

They have switched to grumbling about how my 15mo FF neice still has a bottle, so I guess you can't win. It's still 'baby milk' she is getting not even 'follow-up milk' as MIL put it. She's been watching those adverts

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