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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

I hate breast feeding!!

34 replies

AliB1 · 27/03/2011 20:35

My son is 7 weeks old and he is brilliant in all ways apart from feeding. Before he was born I would look at mothers feeding with envy and couldn't wait until that was me, it seemed so natural and right. prior to my son's birth I read up everything I could about breast feeding, I never considered formula as it was not an option... however from day 1 we struggled. First it took a week just to get him to feed, then we had three weeks of wonderful and easy feeding, then I got thrush in the nipple, then in the breast, it was agony but we carried on. Now that is gone I am still in so much pain. He eats for England!! If I express my son will take 9lbs in a feed, he feeds every two hours for at least 40mins draining both breasts and then still seems hungry. I know I am always supposed to produce as much as he needs but I genuinely feel like I am not keeping up! I have seen GP, HV and have had appointments with a lactation consultant. All say latch is fine, I don't have cracked nipples they just feels so bruised and damaged. Basically I think the problem is my son feeds so much, sucks like a barracuda and tosses his head around whilst feeding, my breasts never get a chance to heal. The lactation consultant thinks he is slightly tongue tied but not enough to warrant intervention. He also already has teeth coming up. I so want to breast feed my baby but I now dread each feed, I'll express whenever I can and have to take painkillers to get through some days... what can I do? Do I call it a day? Any help, advice, experience very much appreciated!

BTW my son was born 7.14lbs, is now over 13lbs, very healthy, growing well and very happy. He is an absolute joy!

OP posts:

Original poster

AliB1 · 27/03/2011 20:36

PS that was supposed to say 9oz's!

OP posts:

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 27/03/2011 20:37

Unless you want a bunfight and genuinely want help get this moved to the breastfeeding//ff section.

Original poster

AliB1 · 27/03/2011 20:38

Ah thanks, sorry new to forum and not sure what goes where - how do I move it?

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 27/03/2011 20:38

even a very slight tongue tie can cause problems, and i'd wager that it is part, if not all, of your problem here.

the op to snip it is just soooooo simple and quick. my second child didn't even wake up when he had his done and it made life so much easier.
I did still have a bit of pain, but that was where my positioning and latching on had gone to pot because i was intervening too much in an attempt to lessen the pain from the tongue tie

whereabouts are you?

thisisyesterday · 27/03/2011 20:39

ali, don't worry i thijn keveryone will see that it's not a real AIBU!

if you do want it moved though then just click the "report" button by your first message and ask MN to move it :)

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 27/03/2011 20:40

Just PM MNHQ or just report your own message and ask them to move it.

reallytired · 27/03/2011 20:41

congratulations on the birth of your baby and breastfeeding for 7 weeks.

I am sorry you have experienced so many problems. I admire your perserverence.

Deciding when to give up breastfeeding is an intensely personal decision. I hope you get support whatever path you choose to take.

squeakytoy · 27/03/2011 20:43

I would say if it is causing that much pain and discomfort, dont do it. You shouldnt feel pressured into it or guilty if you dont breastfeed. Do what you want, and feel happy with. Constant pain is not the way to go.

essenceofSES · 27/03/2011 20:43

I agree with thisisyesterday about getting the tongue tie sorted.
My DS had a mild tongue tie and it was only after he had it snipped that I realised BF didn't have to be painful and he started to feed much more easily.

Original poster

AliB1 · 27/03/2011 20:44

Thisisyesterday - thank you - I think I also intervene too much, I feel like I have to support my breast just to get through a feed.

Thanks all - I promise this is a genuine post, I have reported the post and asked admin to move it!

OP posts:

mrsmindcontrol · 27/03/2011 20:45

My DS3 is now 9 months old and was exactly like this at 7 weeks. I BF all 3 of mine and did think I knew it all (huh!) but DS3 was a surprise. He fed almost constantly, probably until he was about 9 or 10 weeks old then settled right down. Thank goodness.
I had several episodes of mastitis, dreadful pain, lots of tears and many moments of wondering whether to just give him a bottle before things got easier.
I'm glad I stuck with it and am still BF him now.
I echo what others have said about the tongue tie being a possible issue even if only slight. So simple to treat, it's definitely worth a try- especially as you are obv so keen to continue BF.
All the best and congrats on your baby.

Original poster

AliB1 · 27/03/2011 20:46

I do feel so completely guilty about even thinking about stopping or combining and terrified to tell my husbands family, even though my husband will fully support whatever I do.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 27/03/2011 20:48

yeah, I think when it's painful and esp when you ahve a tongue tie then you do need more intervention and help getting the nipple in and helping it to then stay in!

it could also explain the long feeds... if he is not transferring milk effectively because of the tongue tie then he may need to feed longer to get the amount he wants?

this is a list of places where you can get a tongue tie divided. some you can self refer to, others need you to be referred by your HV or GP, but it shouldn't be difficult to get a referral if you are having feeding problems

NinkyNonker · 27/03/2011 20:48

Bless you, at 7 wks DD ate every hour, so I feel your pain! He will settle into a rhythm though honest, 7 wks is tiny.

At 7 months I now have the opposite worry, sometimes she only feeds first thing then before bed!

Definitely pursue the tongue tie, is there anyone else whose opinion you can seek?

What sort of expressing do you do? Cause some pumps are quite rough on the old nork, could you try some gentler hand expressing?

And don't worry about not keeping up, have faith that you will.

squeakytoy · 27/03/2011 20:48

Dont feel guilty at all. Do what makes you happy and doesnt cause you pain.

I was ff because my mother was unable to breastfeed and it certainly did me no harm at all.

SugarLemons · 27/03/2011 20:49

Did you both get treated when you had thrush?
I'd get in touch with your local LLL and seek advice, it seems such a shame to give in.

P.s. He is around 7 weeks now and most likely going through a growth spurt, he's feeding more regular to increase the milk supply for what he needs

Original poster

AliB1 · 27/03/2011 20:49

P.S is there a page which which explains acronyms? What is AIBU and DS?

OP posts:

thinkingkindly · 27/03/2011 20:49

Ow, poor you. And well done for persevering. I didn't much like bfing with DD1 but carried on, and was really really glad I did. With DD2 it was so easy. Just sounds like your boy has a really strong suck.

If you feel you need to support the breast, you might find a breastfeeding cushion helps - it was the best thing I ever bought. Another thing that might help is to vary you position. Have you tried the cross-cradle? You support the baby's head in the opposite hand to the breast you are feeding from, rather than in the crook of the same arm. The baby is less likely to slip off the nipple, so the latch stays good throughout the feed.

thisisyesterday · 27/03/2011 20:50

aibu is "am i being unreasonable"
and ds is "darling son"

bebemooneedsabreak · 27/03/2011 20:52

I said this exact same thing! I was in tears in frustration and pain and I posted on FB how much I HATED BF dd. It was such a terrible drag, and I felt like I was being tortured. I was horrified with how things were going and how much pain I was constantly in...everyone (professional) shrugged told me that I was imagining things or that my latch must not be right if I was in pain and sent me on to other consultants, gps, hv, mw, etc... I had a long talk with ladies on here and with my sister who had terrible times feeding her dc's and got it all out. and learned to take it one feed at a time. 'I'll just do it one more time,' was my mantra...and then at about 3m (oh god you say how can I last until 12weeks?! -just one more feed at a time) dd have a growth spurt and things started getting better. Feeds became efficient/shorter and dd put on lots of weight and finally seemed a truly contented baby.
It is SO hard. It is SO difficult being in pain. BUT once you get through it, and it finally does get easier life is SO great! Suddenly you can go out whenever and feed on the spot and don't have to worry about remembering this or that...and you'll look back and think OMG that was the longest x number of months in my entire life! But I got through it!
Take heart! (It really does get better) and in the mean time paracetamol and hot/cold compresses might help. (hugs)

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 27/03/2011 20:52

Hello. We're going to move this thread to Breast and bottlefeeding now - think that's probably a better place for it.

sparkle12mar08 · 27/03/2011 20:53

Definitely get a second (and third and fourth) opinion on the tongue tie issue. My hv was all for sending me away to come back on a month as it 'wasn't very serious', yet I insisted on a referral. And boy was I glad I did - the consultant said it was very severe and a 75% tie!!! Thisisyesterday has outlined everything I would have said. If you're based in Herts or can travel to North Herts I can give you the name of a private midwife who's qualified for tie cutting - pm me.

thisisyesterday · 27/03/2011 20:54

and if you're in the south east i can recommend a lovely lady and a couple of IBCLC's!

Original poster

AliB1 · 27/03/2011 21:01

Thank you, I am based in Kent.
I am loving motherhood I just always thought the feeding would be one of the best parts not the worst! My son has put on 3lbs in 2 weeks so I am confident he is getting enough.
I do really want to continue.

OP posts:

bebemooneedsabreak · 27/03/2011 21:03

I also found... contrary to what the professionals were telling me that what also helped was not expressing... I theorise that I was not making enough milk until I quit expressing and just put dd on all the time... I know some disagree and say expressing is the way, but for me this really seemed to make a difference with the 'hungry baby'. (she would also eat non-stop from a bottle- one mw suggested this was because that feeding from a bottle is not as soothing as being on the breast, and so she was taking more for the comfort of it...)

Also, after a lot of consideration I really think my ahem nipples were too big for dd's mouth at first...she had quite a small mouth and so the latch was not really that great until she went through the 3m growth spurt and her mouth was bigger...

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