I hate breast feeding!!

[AliB1]

My son is 7 weeks old and he is brilliant in all ways apart from feeding. Before he was born I would look at mothers feeding with envy and couldn't wait until that was me, it seemed so natural and right. prior to my son's birth I read up everything I could about breast feeding, I never considered formula as it was not an option... however from day 1 we struggled. First it took a week just to get him to feed, then we had three weeks of wonderful and easy feeding, then I got thrush in the nipple, then in the breast, it was agony but we carried on. Now that is gone I am still in so much pain. He eats for England!! If I express my son will take 9lbs in a feed, he feeds every two hours for at least 40mins draining both breasts and then still seems hungry. I know I am always supposed to produce as much as he needs but I genuinely feel like I am not keeping up! I have seen GP, HV and have had appointments with a lactation consultant. All say latch is fine, I don't have cracked nipples they just feels so bruised and damaged. Basically I think the problem is my son feeds so much, sucks like a barracuda and tosses his head around whilst feeding, my breasts never get a chance to heal. The lactation consultant thinks he is slightly tongue tied but not enough to warrant intervention. He also already has teeth coming up. I so want to breast feed my baby but I now dread each feed, I'll express whenever I can and have to take painkillers to get through some days... what can I do? Do I call it a day? Any help, advice, experience very much appreciated!

BTW my son was born 7.14lbs, is now over 13lbs, very healthy, growing well and very happy. He is an absolute joy!

if you have a look on here you'll find a list of local LLL groups (my lifeline!!!)

if you're close to the sussex/surrey end of the county i can give you some contacts too!

I also hated BF. To be honest I still dont love it and DD is 5 months old. But it has got easier. Probably around the 8-9 wk mark which was Christmas for me and I initially said I'd just keep going until Christmas. I found it easier as the feeds sped up and got a bit more spaced out. So I think it might be worth hanging on in there a little longer (and getting advice as detailed by others) and see if it becomes more bearable. But there's no shame in stopping and you've already given your baby loads of benefits by doing if for 7 weeks.

Hi Ali, I can't offer you any advice but I can stand by and say you are not alone!
I have a beautiful 3 week old. Like you I was determined to BF and couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't. However since her Birth I have constantly struggled and been in pain. i can honestly say the labour was a sinch compared to the anguish and pain i have gone through with the feeding.

She has an incredibly strong suck and is very chompy. I have had a lot of help from BF councilors and MW and HV all say her latch is great, but I am always in pain throughout every feed. I began with badly cracked nipples and bleeding, with lots of lansinoh these have cleared up but I ended up with thrush and Mastitis. The Mastitis cleared with self help but I have cream for the thrush which has still to clear up. My nipples feel badly burnt and I get lots of stabbing pain after a feed aswel.

I have to say it is improving as my nipples very slowly seem to be toughening up, my left one is literally split in two after have such a deep crack in it. i have been in tears, usually at night, and driven to tescos at 1am to get some Formula...Only on returning to give it just one last go after phoning a help line. I know there is no shame in FF but I just had my heart set on BF and also know I would be useless at the whole steralising bottles thing.

Like one poster said, I am taking it one feed at a time. You have done amazingly so far and the weight proves how much you pain has paid off. its crap that this special time has to be accompanied by this pain, so if you do end up switching, don't feel guilty you have given you baby an amazing start.
If I can make it to 7 weeks I will be so pleased.

But if you carry on, I hope it improves soon!!! xxxx

For those of you who have had thrush, it's really important that both you and baby are treated at the same time or you'll just pass it back and forth.

See the BfN's leaflet on thrush www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/leaflets-and-publications.html

And I agree with others it's worth getting the tounge tie sniped if your in pain.

Not sure I can offer any advice but just want to say there is hope. I really suffered at first - bleeding boobs, immense pain, dreading every feed. Most of DD's feeds ended up being bottles of expressed milk or from the boob using nipple shields for the first 11 weeks. I always made sure that I had one bottle of expressed milk in the fridge or freezer so that if I really couldn't face feeding her, I knew her next feed could be a bottle and then I'd express to replace it. Having that one feed in stock meant everything psychologically.

Eventually, at 11 weeks, even feeding via shields or expressing was causing me pain - I think both methods were causing damage to the boob tissue, just less that DD had previously caused. I read on here that biological nurturing might work - basically just lying back and letting DD find her own latch by wriggling around on my tummy. I cannot believe how well it worked. Even the very first feed that way was pretty much pain free and the best thing about it is you can feed snuggled up and lying down in bed!

DD is now coming up to 6 months and, instead of dreading each feed, I love feeding her. I think, as someone above has already said, part of the problem was just that DD's mouth was too small to take in enough boob when she was little and I just had to persevere until she got a bit bigger. Another part was just finding a position that worked for us. We still don't feed in the traditional fashion - instead, we either feed lying down with me on my back and DD on top (which is great first thing in the morning when her feeds still last at least 30 mins) or DD sits upright straddling one leg with her tummy against my tummy.

I really hope that, if you still want to, you can keep going until you break through that barrier and it become easier and really enjoyable. At 7 weeks, 3 months seems such a long time away but I look back now and am so glad I battled on.

I really do feel for you - I could have written your post 10 months ago. My DS was also tongue-tied which we eventually had diagnosed at 4.5 months. I would definitely get a second opinion on that, as others have said.

I just wanted to add re: supporting your breast - I still do this. It drove me nuts when he was little and fed lots but now we're down to 4-6 feeds a day it's no big deal. When your baby has difficulty latching they do need extra help. So don't feel like a second-rate breast feeder just because you're not casually slinging him in one arm and popping him on while you sip your latte. You're doing the best thing possible for him and he's obviously getting what he needs. :)

My first three months with ds were hell, I got through it by expressing some feeds to get a break and by chewing wine gums to distract me from the pain!

You are doing a great job, I am so glad I stuck it out. Keep posting here, lots of posters know a lot and can help you. I just wanted to send you good thoughts.

Hi Ali, Poor you! My first 5 babies breastfed beautifully; it was the 6th (and last!) that gave me absolute hell! I was (literally) in screaming agony, he just didn't seem to latch on properly though it didn't bother him overmuch. He was over ten and a half pounds so needed a lot of feeding. I did 'work through the pain' for weeks and weeks and eventually it came right but quite honestly, if it's not the tongue-tie thing that's the problem, and if it's giving you so much grief, do yourself a favour and put him on formula. He's had the first milk. There's no dishonour in tactical withdrawal, really (and the advantage is someone else can do it!). BTW my son is 15, 6'2, also very healthy, growing well and very happy. He is an absolute joy!