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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Yesterday I was in the same room as several mothers who nurse their school aged children

342 replies

Babieseverywhere · 09/03/2011 14:47

This was the annual LLL social coffee morning for nursing mothers of children over 4 years old !
It was so nice to discuss the good and bad points about nursing older children. :D

Roll on next year :)

OP posts:
tiktok · 09/03/2011 23:08

Speedy, breastfeeding and breastmilk are clever, but not clever enough to instantly tailor milk quality to the baby using the particular breast at the time....your friend needs to ask her tutor for a better account of what happens, sorry :)

SpeedyGonzalez · 09/03/2011 23:09

Really? I will check. Where did you get your info from?

Himalaya · 09/03/2011 23:34

I breastfed mine till about 3 and a half each. One was definately at nursery before he gave up. It wasn't a planned just a day to day carry on of what was working. As someone said earlier on it feels quite normal as you go from day to day - how can they be ok one day and 'too old ' the next ?

The funny thing is though now my kids are much bigger, if I see somone breastfeeding a todler I can't help getting the 'that's wierd' reaction myself for a few seconds before the 'ah, isn't that great' reaction kicks in. strong social conditioning I guess.

tiktok · 10/03/2011 11:28

Speedy, I am a breastfeeding counsellor and I know how bf works :) Breastmilk is indeed responsive to the sucking patterns of the baby, but the breasts cannot 'see' the age of the baby. Pregnancy and then birth cause colostrum to be made for the new baby, even if a toddler is still breastfeeding. Thereafter, the milk made will be 'for' the newborn, but post-colostrum the milk does not differ hugely enough for the older one to notice.

The volume of milk available will depend on the baby/toddler and volumes in each breast will eventually differ if the baby and the toddler stick to their 'own' breast...but if they swap on any occasion, the breasts don't go instantly into some other mode, calculating what to do according to the individual who is feeding (which is what you said).

I am as certain as I can be that I am right and your friend has misunderstood.

KirstyJC · 10/03/2011 12:24

Tiktok - you're a breastfeeding counsellor - I thought so, but how you do you fit that around driving a truck then?!? Grin. (And is a hairy arse compulsory for truck drivers? HmmGrin)

Interesting about the newborn/toddler milk - I am wondering if DS2 will ask for the breast again once he sees his new sibling drinking and I wasn't sure how that worked. I wasn't planning on going back to lots of feeds for DS2, but it's useful to know the occasional feed to pacify him won't make any difference. (he is going through a jealous phase at the moment so I am anticipating he will want some!)

SpeedyGonzalez · 10/03/2011 12:58

Interesting, tiktok. My friend is an NCT trainer! If you like, the two of you can fight it out Wink. Not worth a big disagreement, really, but at least we both recognise that our bodies are amazing! Grin

Pagwatch · 10/03/2011 13:06

Lol at stridence.

No. Not strident. Don't care what anyone else does.

If someone starts a thread on the West Wing or handbags or Giraffe I may contribute. That does not make me especially fanatical about any of them.

I should be more strident. It would suit me I think....

tiktok · 10/03/2011 13:07

Speedy, she may be a trainer (do you mean a tutor? or a peer support trainer? Tutor will know more :) ) . She has got this one wrong - the breasts simply cannot recognise 'which baby is which' in the instant way you say and make different milk.

I do think it's important to get things right, in fact. Breastfeeding is not a magical thing - it is wonderful, for sure, but it works in ways we understand from science and from study and research, and all its wonders are explainable in this way.

Once we start being too starry-eyed about it we lose the plot a bit, I think :)

toddlerwrangler · 10/03/2011 13:24

Sorry, but anything past 'grown up toddler' sort of age and I get uncomfortable, and I can see why other people do as well. Funnily enough I tried broaching this subject when I was very new to the baord and got shot down.

"Why?" you will all shout, and to me it is simple. I am uncomfortable with a child feeding at the point it is likely to have some form of memory of the act. I an extremely, extremely uncomfortable with the idea of 5/6 year olds being fed at an age where they are becoimg aware of sexual matters such as 'ohhm this feels nice when I do it', 'mummy, where did I come from' and so on.

WoTmania · 10/03/2011 13:26

Maybe she's mixing us up with Kangaroos? speedy Wink. They do have 2 types of milk at once.
But ASAIK we only produce the one type of milk at any one point as nursing progresses

WoTmania · 10/03/2011 13:28

but Toddler - 'where did I come from?' erm...mummy's tummy and out of the vagina/sunroof. Breasts actuall yhave nothing to, mechanically, with the conception of or birth of a baby

WoTmania · 10/03/2011 13:28

Also I know a very small number of people who remember BF and none of htem are scarred by it.

LeninGrad · 10/03/2011 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WoTmania · 10/03/2011 13:34

ah, but Lenin dont you realise it's 'all about the mother' at this point Grin. Hehe, i wish.

Pagwatch · 10/03/2011 13:35

Ok toddlerwrangler.

But why does your discomfort have anything to do with what anyone else choses to do.

I see people every day doing things that I think are shitty choices. It is entirely possible that you do things that I think are crap. But it's not my business. Why is it on this issue that people think that their view should be considered?

In a non rude and definately non shouty way, I don't care what you think. Why do you think your opinion on what I do with my child matters?

that is why this discussion is so odd. People think their 'eeuwww' reaction matters when it doesn't. Why do they/you think it does?

Just curious Smile

toddlerwrangler · 10/03/2011 13:37

See, this is why I bloody hate expanding on anything in this place. WoTmania - The 'where did I come from' comment was merely an example of how 5/6 years aolds start to become aware of sex, and it is at that point I think extended BF really startts to become an issue. And do you really, REALLY think the people who can remember being BF would admit 'I remembered sucking on my mothers nipples the other day and it made me feel odd'. Unlikely, to say the least.

toddlerwrangler · 10/03/2011 13:40

Pagwatch But why does your discomfort have anything to do with what anyone else choses to do.

It doesnt. I think it is odd, borderline slefish (and NO, not in the 'its all about mum' sense) to BF till 5/6 years old. That said my opinions are just those, opinions. Don't think I have said anywhere that I am fighting for an outright ban?!

^In a non rude and definately non shouty way, I don't care what you think. Why do you think your opinion on what I do with my child matters?
^ - again, it doesnt, so not sure why you need to make the point twice.

WoTmania · 10/03/2011 13:41

But Bf isn't sexual. Why can't you understand that. And you know what. I reckon (bearing in mind I'm BF a 3.9 and 2 year old) tht if they now felt uncomfortable about BF to that age my friends would tell me. Also if they felt uncomfortable about it when they were doing it they would have stopped don't you think? Maybe?

LeninGrad · 10/03/2011 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toddlerwrangler · 10/03/2011 13:42

Meant to add a NON passive agressive smiley at the end of my message :) . I actually AGREE with you Pagwatch - my opinuons are just those, I am merely stating why I am uncomfortable with extra etended exrended BF!

tiktok · 10/03/2011 13:43

What's wrong with remembering being bf?

It's no 'wronger' than remembering having a cuddle or a kiss when you fell down, or a bedtime story - it's remembering an everyday expression of care and closeness and surely that's fine?

Being aware of sexual matters is a gradual thing and yes, this will be present in a five year old in some form, but there's no reason why a child should associate the breast with a sexual feeling, any more than he would do so with any other expression of care and closeness.

toddlerwrangler · 10/03/2011 13:44

LeninGrad - if people stop, it's maybe because they see some validity in the points I am making? if they are truely comfortable they will carry on, and in that case, good on them. If they are not comfortable they will stop.

LeninGrad · 10/03/2011 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toddlerwrangler · 10/03/2011 13:46

tiktok - 'what's wrong with remembering BF' . Well, I think that one will remain debated until the end of days. I for one that god that I cannot remember sucking on my mothers breasts. Others will be comfortable with it.

Pagwatch · 10/03/2011 13:46

Blimey, you get cross and stridence really quickly... Grin

I don't think 'where do I come from' questions are the beginnings of sexuality. They speak to curiosity not sexual urges. I don't think anyone except someone wanting to sexualise the act would describe breastfeeding as 'sucking on nipples'. I think that saying ' no one would admit to feeling odd' is just a way of saying ' I have nothing but my own views to back this up so I will make snidy slightly accusatory statements' instead.m