DH says it's time to stop BF as it's 'bitty'

[pombal]

DS2 is 8 months old, was mixed fed until 4 months due to his TT and BF since.

DH wants me to stop BF now as he says at 8 months old, it's getting a bit 'bitty' as in Little Britain and also and I quote 'it's got teeth' referring to DS who has 2 teeth.

I have explained the benefits of continuing and he believes that the WHO guidelines are only relevant to developing countries.

He also thinks I am making our baby 'clingy '

He is adamant in his belief that most people would agree with him and in RL I think he is right, they probably would.

Anyone else had a similar situation, what did you do?

Am not going to stop btw, just don't understand why it bothers him.

I am going to be charitable and edit my first response.

show him this

and this

and for you

Do you feel embarassed at having an imbecile for a husband?

Please show him what I said.

Perhaps he thinks your boobs belong to him and he wants them back?

Good for you for not stopping. Tell him it doesn't matter what "most people" think. It does matter what he thinks, seeing as this is his baby too, maybe he's also feeling a bit left out?

See if you can get him to give you any good reasons to stop, maybe you can get to the bottom of it. But if it's just that he thinks it's gross, then tell him to grow up and point out that the Little Britain character is in his forties and hardly comparable with an 8 month old baby.

God, I thought you were going to say your child was much much older (not that that would make it OK to pressure you on this).

He's already starting with the "bitty" about your eight month old? That is so sad.

I really, really hate this kind of thing. How can he be so dense? And I think you are wrong to believe he is right that RL folk would mostly agree. Nobody I know would agree with him. And I am not on the fringes of society or anything. I'm very normal.

(And apart from anything else, people who watch and quote Little Britain are morons IMO, because it is a pile of crap)

I'm glad you plan to ignore him! I may be wrong, but I thought the NHS advice was at least a year, which might get him to back off.

I really object to the whole 'bitty' thing. It's a baby, not a grown man FFS.

Some babies are born with teeth, or have them within weeks, so I don't understand this objection - after all, its your breasts at risk of nips, not his.

I guess if he come from a family of bottle feeders, and has no other terms of reference, he might see it as unusual, but it really isn't. 'We' are just conditioned to think that way by formula marketing.

I am BF a 10 month old with no plans to stop imminently, and have a supportive DH.

Bucharest I know you are being light hearted in your reply, I will show him this thread, also I have called him worse over this :)

Thank you for the links Kara esp the saving on formula on the NCT one, we live abroad and it's even more expensive here than UK.

DS crying, have to go

You can point out to him that babies need breastmilk until at least 12 months. If they don't have breastmilk they need an artificial breastmilk substitute.

Why would a father want his child to have a processed artificial substitute when he could have the real thing?

MoonUnitAlfa I said this to him last night and he didn't have a reply. I can see no point in re introducing bottles and formula at 8 months + unless we have to. If my work situation changes it can't be helped but I wouldn't want to change things just because DH thinks BF is weird past 6 months.

Yakovs am glad I'm wrong about RL opinions and that things are changing, as I said I don't live in the UK and when I read the threads here, I do get the impression that things are way ahead back home.

I don't even know what he thinks and he can't articulate what the problem is, I think it is because we both come from FF families and it's just not the norm to him.

How is breastfeeding a baby 'bitty'? It's not as if you've got a forty three year old strewn across your lap demanding to be fed is it?

Could you maybe ask him if he wants you to base all your parenting decisions on little Britain sketches?

Really?

LOL at Pagwatch. Have just spat tea out over my laptop...

I was worried about feeding my 3 and a half year old the other day, at a male friend's house...till he walked into the room with a cup of tea, calmly mentioning that he was breastfed till he was four.

it was the loveliest thing ever!

Sorry your husband is worried/embarrassed about this. Loads of men aren't, and he needn't be. He needs to support you. Hopefully he'll come around to the idea.

He sounds like a fuckwit. I wouldnt base my decidion about whether to breastfeed or not on his bitty comments.

If a baby is young enough to drink formula, they're young wnough to drink breast milk. My friends thaqt ff gave formula for a loooong time...

"Could you maybe ask him if he wants you to base all your parenting decisions on little Britain sketches?

Really?"

I really, REALLY like that answer. REALLY a lot.

"I was worried about feeding my 3 and a half year old the other day, at a male friend's house...till he walked into the room with a cup of tea, calmly mentioning that he was breastfed till he was four."

What an angel :)

OP, I have a tee which basically tells people I'm a BFing mum, and randomly chatting to people (not in BFing situations) I get loads of people telling me, very proudly, how they fed their child until they were 2, 3, 4 and whatever. Obviously I'd never, ever have known this as it would just not come up in conversation. Term BFing is really common, it's just not well known.

It makes sense - human milk for human babies. Anything else is slightly strange, unless there's no option, in which case we're very lucky to have it as a back up.

He has issues that he needs to deal with. How horrible of him to pressure you out of doing what is best for your baby.

Does he even realise that stopping befoe 1 year means you'll need to use formula?

LOL@ pagwatch :) Have relayed your replies to DH who is genuinely suprised, no- one has agreed with his POV. No joke.
He is coming round to the idea of continuing to one year.Many thanks for your replies :)
Obviously I will do as I see fit, he can't stop me but I want him to be 'on board' with whatever I decide.

organic and Everett I find it encouraging to know that people do carry on past 6 months and shock, horror even a year.
I hope I can make it to a year, like I said the only thing that may change that is work - deffo not DH :)

pombal yes, I was surprised about this when I had my first son 6 years ago :). I thought it was really weird at first so I do have some sympathy for your DH. But the thing is, not how he feels now when it's the first time he comes across it, but how he deals with the information that he is given about it.

• For every year you BF your risk of breast cancer reduces by over 4%
• The longer you BF, the more protection your baby has against coeliac disease
• Bottle feeding does not allow the mouth to develop as well as breastfeeding, so introducing bottles makes your child more likely to need orthodontic treatment
• The longer you BF, the more protection you have against osteoporosis
• Once you start back with formula, you're introducing the risks of gastro infections from contaminated formula, and from the absence of breastmilk in the gut which helps to protect it from gastro bugs.

Just a few to put to him :)

Of course, you can also BF part time (eg morning and night) so work doesn't need to stop it, either. :)

I find it "bitty" how a father can put his sexual pleasure and ego over the emotional and health needs of his tiny baby. I guess it is just a matter of educating him, this country is quite strange when it comes to bf and does seem to see breasts as sex objects rather than as nature's gift to nourish and calm babies, so maybe one can't blame DH, but be firm and educate him, which it seems you have done. Good luck!

Wow. I think you are showing almost saintly levels of restraint in your reaction to him. @ Pagwatch
Am at this second currently feeding DD who, at 12 months, has 5 teeth and who is - shock, horror - still a baby and very much looks like a baby particularly when she's sleepy and warm and snuggled up to me. As opposed to resembling some lowest common denominator caricature thinly disguised as 'comedy'.

Apart from all the already good points made the other thing to keep in mind is you may not have the absolute safety of formula that exists in the UK. Formula is frequently faked in some countries as it is a high cost product. Also if your water isn't safe from the tap the same can be true of bottled water. On top of that if the country you're in has higher chances of getting tummy bugs then being BF is even more beneficial.