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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Best Clothes for Breast Feeding & General Advice

73 replies

TicTacsMum · 16/10/2005 15:09

I'm only 32 weeks pregnant but planning to BF. My problem is that I can't imagine being able to do it in front of anyone - especially my dad and brother - and the thought of doing it in public terrifies me!! I wondered if anyone has any tips on the best clothes to wear for privacy or just any other general advice.

Also my boyfriend isn't hugely supportive of the breastfeeding thing and whenever I speak to his mother about BF she's really really negative and normally says something like "You'll probably not do it for long anyway - I bet you'll end up using formula"!!! It's driving me mad

OP posts:

nickiey · 17/10/2005 19:32

No offence taken, some people just prefer to be discrete, like some people can snog manically in public and some cant or some people feel ok wearing bright/short/loud clothes and some dont-its all personal.
i personnally have huge boobs and if I didnt try to cover them a bit whilst feeding then people may well have eperienced an eclipse.
Being proud of the natural thing that is breastfeeding is one thing, and im very proud, but im also a bit private and what is a special moment between my baby and me is another.
TBH hitching up my top and showing my rolls of flab never appealed, nor did pulling down my top to reveal a huge boob, i also couldnt be arsed to arrange shawl,sheet or whatever. having a top with a correctly positioned slit in it was far more convinient, that fact that the slit was nicely conceled meant that I was able to wear the top all day long too.
I dont get how wearing breastfeeding tops is in anyway denying or shying away from the fact that you are breastfeeding or proud of that fact.

moondog · 17/10/2005 19:35

Point taken nickiey.
Lol at eclipse effect!

tadpole · 17/10/2005 19:49

my lacey elle mcpherson bra has got less itchy every time i have washed it but it was very itchy when brand new i'm wearing mine as a maternity bra at the moment

Mojomummy · 17/10/2005 19:57

I'm always really pleased when I see BF going on, but I never really felt comfortable doing it in public, so understand how nickiey feels. I've feed my DD in all sorts of places, but always went to great effect to conceal my/ourselves - bit of a shame really...

My MIL also made comments of 'too much of a good thing'. I BF DD until she was 2 - even my mum thought that was a bit much - perhaps we need some adverts during coronation street etc to 'normalise' it ?!

frannykenstein · 17/10/2005 20:32

Have the people with itchy lace got the Maternelle bra or another sort? The Maternelle is really soft and stretchy IMO, I don't see which bit could be itching you.

NotQuiteCockney · 17/10/2005 20:44

Mine is all lace. No solid bits. Don't know which model.

To be fair:

a) I don't wear lace, generally
b) I haven't washed it much, as I haven't worn it much, as it itches
c) I find lots of things itchy. I can't wear regular wool (or virgin wool), for example.

frannykenstein · 17/10/2005 20:46

All lace sounds very itchy. The Maternelle is like this

jenkel · 17/10/2005 21:21

Thats the one thing that worried me about breastfeeding, never could imagine doing it whilist not in the privacy of my own home and just me and dh there. Think the key is big baggy tops, the ones designed especially for breastfeeding never appealed to me, blouses/shirts are a good choice as you can just undo the amount of buttons that you need. Also Muslin or a scarf is a god send, you can more or less cover anything up with that. Just beware of any tight fitting tops if you are wearing breast pads as the outline can be seen, and they seems to show up a lot under white. This sort of thing doesnt bother all people but it did bother me.

Also, your priorities will change once you ahve your baby. If you know that to breastfeed a screaming baby will keep them quiet, it wont bother you who is around.

moondog · 17/10/2005 21:58

Oh yes jenkel!
Someone posted about going dancing and the lights suddenly going florescent,beautifully highlighting the two big white circles inher bra rofl!

suzi2 · 18/10/2005 16:35

My DS is only 10 wks so I'm a relative newbie to all this...

Clothes - I bought special tops from H&M. They are rubbish! My DS keeps latching onto the fabric! I find it easiest to wear a stretch jersey top and just lift it up. Unfasten your bra and get positioned and then just whisk it up, attach and then pull it down a wee bit to hide anything. Tescos & ASDAs sell loads - also very cheap as you may be covered in baby sick a lot. (reminds me - buy some muslins for burping and always pack a cardi/spare top if you're out!) Things that unbutton or you pull down make you feel quite naked!

Feeding in public - I was fairly mortified the first time I did it in front of my mum even! But you soon get used to the idea that your boobs are a tool and nothing 'rude'. My mum was soon holding my boob helping me latch him on! My dad makes excuses and leaves the room everytime I feed. My brothers & father in law do much the same. I generally feed DS on a cushion if we are at home - the cushion also helps hide things. I've only bf in public recently. I find getting a seat next to a wall ideal. And then feed off the boob nearest the wall.

Feeding in general - agree that the first month is not like any other! You're probably sore, tired, paranoid (how do I know how much baby's eating?) etc. That passes. Arm yourself with plenty DVDs as feeding can be really long and boring to start with. Lansinoh oitment is great for cracked nipples. Carry an inflatable travel cushion in your changing bag - very helpful when feeding.

Support - try and get as much as possible. I say this because I have loads of support yet in the early weeks I wanted to quit every day. It was those around me that kept me going (as well as the ladies on here) and I'm so glad that I did. In fact, it was only the last couple of weeks that I have started enjoying it - nothing like snuggling up with baby on a wet cold day. Find out if there are any breastfeeding support meetings around you. If there are, see if you can go to one before your baby is here to meet people and discuss any concerns. perhaps take your mother in law along?

Good luck - stick with it and you'll get there - I promise Sorry about the essay... I'm getting quite passionate on the topic!

suzi2 · 18/10/2005 16:39

ooh - meant to add... breastpads. I don't use them much but I like the washable ones for when I'm at home and the tommee tippee disposables for when I'm out (thinner). I hear that lilypadz are great too.

moondog · 18/10/2005 17:49

suzi2,very inspiring post!
Glad that it all worked out for you!

suzi2 · 18/10/2005 18:06

moondog - i'm borng everyone I know with the joys of breastfeeding!

and when I was feeding in a restaurant on saturday an old woman came over (I thought she was going to moan) and said "what a sweetheart - and it's so nice to see a mum feeding baby herself". I felt so smug!

moondog · 18/10/2005 18:10

Ah,suzi!
You bore away love!
Lotsof us feel exactly the same!

karmamother · 18/10/2005 22:48

I, too, found out the hard way that a blouse & cardie leave you feeling a little, erm, exposed once they're opened for BFing.

I like the idea of wearing layers, especially as its winter. This was a problem for me at night time...who in their right mind would sit up in bed on a cold winter's night, open their jammies & sit like that for 20-30 mins? I wore a thermal vest so at least my upper chest was warm.

Suzi2 - on the joys of breastfeeding...I recently met up with a friend who told me she was newly pg for 2nd time. As we discussed our future returns to BFing, we had this lovely sisterly moment when we both realised how excited we were to be doing it again. I got a warm glow all over.

Buddhamummy · 18/10/2005 23:49

Quite a long thread, so apologies if already mentioned. but the trusty muslin was always there to fall back on if i ever felt too exposed or had a particularly gawping audience or embarrassed FIL.... i would tuck one corner under my bra the side i was feeding and drap it over baby, It meant i could get quite alot of boob out!

Also my personal top tip for bf winter babies is wear light, thin tops with a thinish poncho. DONT wear anything woollen or thick however cold it is outside, make sure you can de-layer once inside.

You will be generating alot of heat yourself
( i never sweated so much in my life as when i bf) The central heating will be up high at any houses you go to for the "oo new baby coming must have extra warm house" visit. And Shopping centres and cafes are ludicrously hot in the winter.

Elf1981 · 23/10/2005 11:28

I had my first baby 17 days ago. I at first was unsure about breastfeeding, it was DH who was keen! My DD was born by C-section and the first few days in hospital were terrible trying to get her to feed. I felt like it was a huge struggle, as she wouldn't take the breast. At one point I had to express and feed her out of a cup just to get fluid into her as she was getting jaundice. On my last day in hospital, I fed her twice ALL BY MYSELF without any help from midwives and I was so chuffed all day long. Still had a crappy night with her at home but after the first full day at home, it was like we'd sort of sussed it out a bit more.
I'm still not up on feeding in front of people I know (other than DH) but I have fed in Tesco car park in the car!
I hope you get the support you need from your boyfriend and family. Initally my mum was a bit "hmmm" about the idea, but now she's supportive.
Hope it all goes well.

nervousmum · 23/10/2005 12:49

I bought a couple of breastfeeding tops from JojoMamanBebe, and would thoroughly recommend them. They are quite fitted, with poppers underneath the bustline so you don't expose your upper chest when feeding - very practical IMO. I also swear by the muslin squares!

I was really embarrassed feeding in front of people at first, but now my son is 4 weeks old, and i'll cheerfully whip a nork out when he needs it! They say all dignity goes out of the window once you've had a baby...

Good luck. x

Original poster

TicTacsMum · 23/10/2005 14:22

Update!....

Thanks to everyone who posted advice. Think I've got the clothes thing sussed out now.

Got boyfriend to read stuff about breastfeeding by taking away his Jaguar magazines from the side of the bed and replacing them with pamphlets & booklets about breastfeeding! Don't think he noticed what he was reading for a start and now he's more clued up he seems to be more positive about the whole thing!

OP posts:

frannykenstein · 23/10/2005 14:32

Good stuff Tictacsmum! A friend of mine managed a similar trick with her husband, when he had got a bit peculiar about her breastfeeding past a year. She left some leaflets in the loo casually, and hey presto, he came out quoting health statistics and WHO recommendations, and bored all their friends to death nagging them about breastfeeding till 2 years old.

moondog · 23/10/2005 15:12

Tictac..hope you downloaded the list of 10 and 101 reasons to breastfeed that I found you on 17th October!

(Glad that your dp is being more supportive.)

Original poster

TicTacsMum · 23/10/2005 15:16

Moondog - yes I did! Good stuff!

OP posts:

moondog · 23/10/2005 15:17

When you read the benefits,it's hard to see why not everyone doesn't at least give it a go isn't it?

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