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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Best Clothes for Breast Feeding & General Advice

73 replies

TicTacsMum · 16/10/2005 15:09

I'm only 32 weeks pregnant but planning to BF. My problem is that I can't imagine being able to do it in front of anyone - especially my dad and brother - and the thought of doing it in public terrifies me!! I wondered if anyone has any tips on the best clothes to wear for privacy or just any other general advice.

Also my boyfriend isn't hugely supportive of the breastfeeding thing and whenever I speak to his mother about BF she's really really negative and normally says something like "You'll probably not do it for long anyway - I bet you'll end up using formula"!!! It's driving me mad

Ta

OP posts:
CarolinaFullMoon · 16/10/2005 20:09

I just used my huge saggy belly as a feeding cushion .

aloha · 16/10/2005 21:27

I have wasted so much money on horrible cheap nursing bras from mothercare and M&S, I can't tell you. Now I just wear my Elle Macpherson one EVERY DAY (I wash it out overnight). I really should buy another one, I know. It is a false economy to buy cheap. I could have had a wardrobe of cream, black and lilac Elle ones for the money I've wasted on lumpen, ill-fitting industrial weight cotton monstrosities which either give me a monobosom or make me look like a hunchfront.
Go Elle!

aloha · 16/10/2005 21:28

Oh and the Elle Macpherson has rows and rows and rows of hooks and eyes on the band which means it will easily continue fit you as your ribcage contracts - another reason why it works out cheaper than crappy Mothercare bras.

SpikeMomma · 16/10/2005 22:04

Hi TicTacsMum, I got some excellent breastfeeding t-shirts - which looked quite smart and have a cross over type affect at the top of them, from Hennes (H&M). I've lived in them all summer. Really good for protecting your modesty. I couldn't find any others from places like mothercare and the like - which i was quite surprised about.

If i'm not wearing them i wear a long vest under normal clothing (again, cheap from H&M - hide me tum and stretch marks!). I can then lift my top up, pull the top of the vest down - so there is a small gap, without exposing any flesh down my sides. Very discreet.

You stick to your guns. At the end of the day you're feeding a little life you have created. I love breast feeding. You will find you can get quite slick at it, and don't have to expose yourself. Remain confident - people are generally wrapped up in what they are doing to notice - it's more paranoi which got me at first! I sometimes pull my pram towards where i'm sitting and drape a muslin over the handle - as a make shift screen. It's really hassle free once you get the hang of it. GO FOR IT - it just takes a bit of confidence, you'll be amazed how you get into the hang of it - i was! You'll be so pleased with yourself if you do it. Don't let anyone put you off.

frannykenstein · 16/10/2005 22:27

Blimey, I had no idea everybody loved the Elle MacPherson bra as much as I do. Can we get some sort of Mumsnet endorsement and then a deal where we all get cheap ones?

(must admit I did run back to underwire and a bit of flattering light padding as soon as I could though )

TicTacsMum · 16/10/2005 22:30

Okay - you've all convinced me - i think i'll splash out on the Elle MacPherson bra - maybe just one to start with though...

How do I know what size to get though? I'm pretty flat chested (still only in a B cup at 32 weeks ) and am expecting to grow considerably when the time comes!! I read somewhere that you should get fitted at 36 weeks once the aby's head engages or something. Should I go to M&S or John Lewis to get measured then buy that size off the internet?

OP posts:
frannykenstein · 16/10/2005 22:33

Yay, do it, you will not regret it! Yes, get measured once the baby's head has dropped down. You could always return the bra if it is not right when your little one arrives...

(p.s. your boyfriend will like the Elle Mac P bra much better than the other frumpy, lumpy nursing bras around. Plus, once you have bought it, you won't be able to give up breastfeeding without a struggle - you'll need to recoup your investment!)

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 16/10/2005 22:42

all right then I am convinced...
but where can you get the Elle McP bras?? I would prefer to try them on

bobbybob · 17/10/2005 00:56

Still wear my Elle maternity bras and I stopped bfing 2 months ago. Very comfy and lovely.

Gracesmum · 17/10/2005 02:24

hi tictacsmum, cant add much more than other ladies have, only to say my MIL was never that supportive but i BF my dd for 9 months, she's 18 months now and we have the best bond there is, that intimacy is like nothing else. i would never judge anyone who doesnt BF, but i really missed it when i stopped (her choice, too nosey to lie still). anyway, do you know if there is b/feeding support group, or surestart area local to you? sometimes can get bras at discount through them.
what area you from?

NotQuiteCockney · 17/10/2005 07:56

I don't like my Elle bra. It's all lacy, and pretty (I guess, I don't really do lace), but it itches like mad.

I like the Bravado bras, which are very relaxed about sizing and super comfortable (but not very supportive, it's worth noting), and I don't mind the Emma ones they sell at John Lewis. They're a bit more supportive.

NotQuiteCockney · 17/10/2005 07:56

I don't like my Elle bra. It's all lacy, and pretty (I guess, I don't really do lace), but it itches like mad.

I like the Bravado bras, which are very relaxed about sizing and super comfortable (but not very supportive, it's worth noting), and I don't mind the Emma ones they sell at John Lewis. They're a bit more supportive.

KristinaM · 17/10/2005 07:59

Tictacsmum - do you remember learning to drive a car? ( sorry if you dont drive, thsi wont make sense). BF is just like that. I remember when I was learning, steering my DPs car around this industrial estate at about 20mph in 3rd gear . He told me to chnage to 4th and i thought - NO NO NO how can i change gear and steer at the same time? How will i ever do this on a main road? And with passengers in the car?

Of course now it feels silly, coz I can drive, listen to homework and plan the shopping in my head all at the same time. Its just practice and experience and confidence.

Honestly, everyone who has posted here probably used to feel like you. You worry about your dad or brother seeing your breasts - I wouldnt even let my DH or my 4yo see me Bf at the beginning. After a while I could do it almost anywhere.

you get very good at unhooking the bra and adjusting your clothes and after a while the baby learns to latch on themselves. So all you need to do is point them in the right direction under your clothes. Honesly, most of the time you just look like you are cuddling the baby, so you could do it anywhere and no one would know.

I knwo you wont belive thsi for teh first few weeks as it can be a real struggle, but it will happen. My experince is that Bf is NOT easier than bottle feeding at teh beginning but is is is teh long term. And better for you and baby of course. Good luck!

merryberry · 17/10/2005 09:05

wow ttm, i wish i'd asked yr questions when i started. I'm also a vest cardi combo wearer. And it is cool feeding when out if you've got moral support from dp/other mum, especially ni the early weeks.

Other things that helped are: our local sure start does a BF cafe, and that's where i first fed in public. And you get to see other people doing it and can stare with no weirdness and learn more about it. Also, do bear in mind always like theothers say that it does take time to get used to - HVs etc all said it taes 6 weeks for the supply to fully establish and for you to get like an old pro at it. And they were so right. I was suprised it took so long, and used to get so frustrated with myself. No need for that.

Another shock to me was how much time it took to do. Don't look for the benefits of ease from bf in the first few weeks. Just treat it as your main job - get yourself really comfy with a seat which is yours and all the pillows etc you need. This is so important as after a few weeks of not quite supported BF i ended up with agonising shoulder pains from muscle spasms tha needed physio to sort out. I always kept water to hand at my seat at home as well. Don't expect to lose weight apart from your pg fluid going, as to begin with BF made me ravenous. Insanely ravenous. So make sure you snack healthy and guilt free. My appetite settled down at about 2 months.

Finally with the MIL type issues, I was bombarded with well, not positive, BF comments by my mum and her sisters. The more we talked about it it though the more it boiled down to - they were brainwashed/frogmarched into formula feeding, and so have those lessons firmly in their head. Mostly they:

  1. couldn't understand the fuss about bf as 'my children were fine on formula' - when they see yours are too they'll back off.

  2. felt guilty they had ff and not bf - all these years later they had feelings of regret/anger/guilt that they needed to get past which time has done

  3. simply didn't know what the true benefits are, so education helped there

Most important one to get on side though is your other half. It's him who can make or break your attempt, as its him who will have to dive in to cover the rest of the housework while you spend HOURS establishing supply and technique. And its him who may feel left out by the intensity of your bond with baby.

HTH and PS - in my paltry experience, don't force yourself to establish expressing until you've got comfortable with BF on the breast. Expressing is another art form in itself I've found.

sweetkitty · 17/10/2005 09:17

Tictacsmum - theres some great advice on here and I would echo many of the comments, when I said I planned on breastfeeding it was as if I had said I was planning to sacrifice the baby at birth
"why do you want to bother with all that fuss"
"get them on a bottle asap you can see what they are getting"
"bottlefed babies are more content"
"yuck why would you want a baby hanging off your boobs"
were some of teh comments, anyway I stuck to my guns, I think most people were surprised at how easy and convenient BFing is, even DP was pleased when he realised it was far easier for me to pop up my top and feed her in the night rather than heating up bottles etc.

I've fed in front of everyone, I had the opinion that I was feeding my baby as nature intended and if they were embarrassed about it they could leave the room, only my brother (whos a bit immature) was a bit funny about it although the first time he saw me feeding he didn't even know I was, I think he thought you sit there with both boobs hanging out.

You can feed very discreetly the baby hides most of your flesh and unless your sitting on top of someone you can latch on and off very quickly with practice. I'm sure you see far more flesh at the local pool or on holiday.

Best of luck

bamboo · 17/10/2005 11:40

TicTacsMum, £30 on a bra isn't so much when you consider how much money you'll save if you don't need to buy formula. That's how I justify it anyhow!

TicTacsMum · 17/10/2005 18:59

Gracesmum - I'm in Aberdeen. I've got a breastfeeding antenatal class about 4 weeks before my due date so hopefully that'll be quite useful.

Does anyone else find the Elle bra itchy? I've never liked lace bras either and hadn't really thought of that. I've always been so flat chested that i've had to wear AA padded bras. I think i'm going to feel quite exposed without the 'security' of the padding.

OP posts:
nickiey · 17/10/2005 19:01

Hiya, I breastfeed for 1 year and lived in tops from this Co. www.motherwear.com/

Cant rate them enough-really good service, comfy to wear and not at all obvious that they are breastfeeding tops, also very easy to use!

NotQuiteCockney · 17/10/2005 19:02

Not all Elle bras are lace, I think. They are quite thin.

Both Bravado and Emma bras are reasonably thick. Bravado bras are like sports bras, kinda. A thick band of elastic under the boobs, and two triangles of stretchy cotton. Emma bras are more like traditional bras.

I'd hold off on buying any expensive bf bras until a few weeks after the baby is born - my size changed lots in that period.

aloha · 17/10/2005 19:04

The Maternelle isn't lacy. It's a really smooth slightly silky fabric, with a small trim of smooth, definitely non-itchy lace

moondog · 17/10/2005 19:05

You go tictacsmum!!!
You'llget lots of help on here (as you already are doing)

Doesanyone remember mears posting that great list
'100 reasons to breastfeed'?

You should print that out for your bloke.

I'll see if I can dig it out and do a link.

TicTacsMum · 17/10/2005 19:05

nickiey - i like the look of their clothes. Is there a UK stockist or did you order online & get them sent from the states?

OP posts:
nickiey · 17/10/2005 19:07

I got them sent from the states, and really they were fab (plus you get freebie creams and stuff too, or I did anyway!)
I think in total i got about 7 tops from them and a dress and no-one ever suspected i was feeding even in the marks cafe in bluewater shopping centre.

moondog · 17/10/2005 19:18

OK,found you two lists....10 reasons and 101 reasons if they're still dubious lol!

Here

And here

moondog · 17/10/2005 19:21

Nickiey,while I know what you're saying,can I just point out it's not a crime to b/feed!
I'm not a 'norks out' merchant but I am actually rather pleased and proud for people to know that I am breastfeeding!

If we do it in a way that 'nonoe ever suspects' I think it's very sad.

Hope I haven't offended.