Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

How do you feel about how you were fed as a baby?

143 replies

LoisLame · 15/02/2011 12:36

As the title says really.

When I was trying to get bf going with DD, we had a pretty bad time of it. She was crying for a feed. I was crying in anticipation of the pain when she would latch on. DH was crying because everyone else was crying. And he would always say to me "DD will appreciate you going through all this to give her the best start you can". DD is 6mths old now and still breastfeeding (mix fed with Infatrini) and I keep thinking about what he used to say.

So if you were breastfed, do you appreciate what your mum did for you? Are you grateful? If you were formula fed, do you resent it? Or does it really not make a blind bit of difference now you're all grown up?

I was formula fed in the early 80s. I'm thankful my mum fed me full stop - no matter what method she used. The only gripe I have about it is that she doesn't understand why I've gone through so much to carry on breastfeeding. I don't know what the bf/ff debate situation was like back then. I just really wish she could see it through my eyes.

OP posts:

Horton · 15/02/2011 13:26

I was fed on watered down Carnation (1968), so I do feel a bit cross about it tbh.

marzipananimal · 15/02/2011 13:28

I'm glad i was bfed because I know that I might be less healthy, lower IQ etc if I hadn't been. BUT if I was ff I wouldn't hold it against my mum at all - she's a great mum and always did her best for us so if she hadn't managed to bf that would've been fine too

itsatiggerday · 15/02/2011 13:30

FF. My mum tried to feed DB and 'didn't have enough supply' so gave up after a few weeks, didn't have the confidence to try for longer than a few days with me.

I don't care for my own reasons, but I'm sad for her because she still talks about how much she wanted to do it and couldn't. Having seen SIL and me BF all our children, but with some early stages of having to figure it out and adjust, she's pretty sure she could have done if she'd had some decent help and advice. Makes me :( because she clearly feels she missed out.

DB and me both seem relatively normal though - being dropped on our heads probably explains the oddities far more effectively than our infant feeding!

Cosmosis · 15/02/2011 13:32

I was bf, I am pleased becuase it means that I'm not embarrassed to bf infront of my dad and he is not embarrassed either! I think it pretty impressive that anyone managed to bf successfully in the take your babies away and only feed every 4 hours era tbh. other than that though it wouldn't bother me either way, I certainly don't expect DS to be "grateful" that I am bfing him!

streptococcus · 15/02/2011 13:34

I am far more pissed off that my diet as a child was full of crap.... lots of findus crispy pancakes and a full size mars bar every day in my lunchbox at primary school. :(. Its still rare to find fruit in my mums trollet
we all have weight/food problems as grown ups and think early diet didnt really help

... oh and I was breastfed until 18 months

tinierclanger · 15/02/2011 13:35

Hey Horton, I had Carnation too! Apparently as recommended by Dr Spock...

streptococcus · 15/02/2011 13:35

trollet->trolley damn it

Horton · 15/02/2011 13:38

I only found out recently, tinierclanger. I was quite shocked!

tinierclanger · 15/02/2011 13:42

Yeah me too! I do sometimes wonder if I could've been 6 inches taller...!

noeyedear · 15/02/2011 13:43

I was bf for a couple of months, I think, and then ff. Didn't make a difference to me until I had my own children, when my mothers attitude to bf came out and she barely disguised her disapproval of me exclusively bf past about 4 months. She used to tell me to go out of the room to do it if others were in the room.

I think that was what you did in the '70's though and is probably more to do with the way my mum is than anything else!

noeyedear · 15/02/2011 13:46

My DS was bf for 18 months, by the way- I don't expect him to be grateful- he doesn't even remember it a year later, never mind as a adult!

Francagoestohollywood · 15/02/2011 13:47

I was formula fed, like most people in Italy in the 1970s.
I have no feelings about it, I was a healthy, slender child and I had an excellent, varied diet, once I was weaned.

I breastfed my dc and my mum was very supportive.

Horton · 15/02/2011 13:47

I'm quite glad I'm not six inches taller but I do wonder if I'd have asthma, eczema and a whole raft of allergies!

organiccarrotcake · 15/02/2011 13:47

EBF to 6 months in the 1970s. V grateful as I have mild eczema and it's possible it would have been much worse. My younger brother was EFF as he was really, really ill and in hospital away from her so she couldn't BF him as well as being at home with me. I know she wanted to and wishes she could have done so.

Shodan · 15/02/2011 13:51

I was also fed watered down Carnation. Must've been the in thing in those days.

I thank God I'm not 6 inches taller becasue that would make me 6'2".

Weirdly in our family it is my younger sister (who was BF) who has asthma and eczema. I haven't any health issues.

TaffetaCat · 15/02/2011 14:00

I was in the equiv of intensive care for 4 weeks as I was 4lbs 4oz, and was given someone else's breast milk. When I found out, in my teens, I felt quite weird about it. I actually thought it might be why I am the first person in my family to really suffer with hayfever. I KNOW now this is mad, but thats how I felt at the time.

Now I am quite cool about it, I would not judge ANYONE now on feeding choices, as I know how hard it can be, and how everyone has different baggage/experience etc.

I breastfed both mine for 8 months. I really struggled with the first, but DH was determined I should continue, through cracked nipples, a very sucky baby, colic, mastistis etc etc. He oft quoted his mother exclusively bf all her three for 6 months, just at the point I was ready to jack it in.

I mentioned this to MIL when my bf days were over, and Oh! how she howled with laughter. DH was bf for 2 days.

carve133 · 15/02/2011 14:03

I was BF for 15months (born 1977), and so was DH (also 1977). My mum also bf my older brother. I agree with the posters who say it only became important when they had children themselves. My mum did an NCT BF counsellor course, and I felt very supported by the fact that both my mum and MIL saw BF on demand as normal, as this was my choice with DS. I'm sure my choice was influenced by them, in the same way that many of our parenting choices are. I also see now that their choices were somewhat radical in the 1970s (MIL says she felt a 'rebel' for feeding on demand ). However, regardless of the method of feeding what's most important is that they were both sensitive and responsive mothers and I think that has naff all to do with how they fed us.

solo · 15/02/2011 14:07

Funny you should bring this up. My Mum apparently bfed me for a few weeks only. I 'wasn't getting enough' according to her. Nor was my (younger) brother, so we were ff after the few weeks. I do feel a bit resentful for some reason. Maybe it's because I've been such a big believer in bfing...Mum also told me that it was 'time to stop' when my Ds was 18 months (I listened to her too! but I was ill at the time). She tried the same with Dd, but I had to put her straight and am still bfing Dd at 4.1yo; she was like . I actually wondered if my Mum is envious of my stubborness at overcoming a dozen episodes of ductal thrush and several of mastitis and my ability to continue when she couldn't/wouldn't. I do sometimes say (when she brings up our inabilty to get enough breast milk from her) that these days, she'd have more (MN grin]) support to keep going etc...
So yes, I am resentful at being fed powdered milk.

changer22 · 15/02/2011 14:13

I was breastfed and it was drummed into me and my siblings that this was the 'best' way.

I have breastfed my DC and it was only when I was feeding beyond 6 months that my mother started getting a bit squeamish. She just can't get her head around feeding them for longer. I got to 2 years with number 3 and am wondering how long number 4 will be...

She also said once about how it was lovely in hospital when she had us. They used to take the new babies to the nursery and she slept all night. So, I said, we were clearly given formula in hospital then It hadn't occurred to her before! She's still miffed though about having the curtain drawn around her bed in hospital so as not to offend all the bottlefeeding mothers but can't understand why I don't want to sit in my bedroom to feed my babies .

theborrower · 15/02/2011 14:15

I was Bf for a few weeks then FF after that. I have an older brother and younger sister - older brother was BF for 2 months until doctors said she had to give formula as he wasn't putting on weight and was ill (and he thrived after that). With me, she struggled with mastitis etc before stopping, and with younger sister, she didn't get a look in - FF from the start. I know my sister isn't bothered at all - she says there's nothing wrong with her (and she doesn't have allergies or anything like that) and why should it matter anyway? It doesn't bother me either. I'm more bothered about my teenage years when she wouldn't let me stay out late

I don't have any particular feelings about it, except that I'm sad that my mother didn't have the support necessary to continue feeding as I think she wanted and felt bad about herself. She said they had the 4 hour feeding thing, 15 minutes on each side etc, so really it's no wonder that big brother didn't thrive, but it's not her fault - that's how they were told to feed.

As someone who has really struggled with BFing though (I mix feed - mostly FF) it makes me a little sad that I couldn't look to my mother for support. Not blaming her, but comments like "It's really hard" and "Not everyone can breastfeed" don't really help. I don't think she understood/understands why I kept on persevering.

FunnysInTheGarden · 15/02/2011 14:15

It's a bit odd IMO to feel resentful about something you knew nothing about and which may or equally may not have had any adverse effect on you. There are so many other things to worry about.

My mum BF a bit and mostly FF me and oldest DSis in 70's and 50's and fully BF my middle DSis in the 50's.

If your parents brought you up well and loved you then I think it is actually rather rude to resent the fact that your mother did not BF you for very long/at all.

BeerTricksPotter · 15/02/2011 14:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rugbylovingmum · 15/02/2011 14:31

My mum formula-fed me and my brother. She tried breastfeeding with me but her milk never seemed to come in (probably due to very long and traumatic labour ending in emergency c-section and then she wasn't able to see me for almost 24 hours and had no advice/support to establish feeding). She was actually very pleased as she hadn't wanted to breastfeed at all but had been guilt tripped into 'giving it a go' by both sets of grandparents. I certainly don't feel resentful, in some ways it's been a good thing for me now I have DD. After her parents and in-laws made her feel bad about the way she fed me she really appreciates how important it is to me to feel supported in my decisions and she was great when I struggled with feeding in the first couple of weeks. It also made me more relaxed about the feeding - I wanted to breastfeed DD1 but if it didn't work out I knew formula hadn't done DB or I any harm - and being relaxed probably helped me get the breastfeeding established (I bf DD for 10 months in the end).

Trillian42 · 15/02/2011 14:36

Never thought about it... and now I have I still don't care

I was FF, as was my sister. My mum tried to BF my older brother but had no support from what I've discovered since BFing DD.

I don't intend to discuss it with DD unless she asks either! Certainly not something I intend to hold over her in some way.

suzikettles · 15/02/2011 14:42

lol changer - my mum hadn't realised about the ff in hospital either until I brought it up.

She just thought that I'd slept through the night from birth and then suddenly started waking again when I was brought home at 10 days old

It just shows how paternalistic maternity services were back then though. The mothers were brought a sleeping pill each night to make sure they "slept through" too...

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread