Please reassure me that I am not a complete failure and others have done the same. :-(

[CrapBag]

I didn't BF DS, Have been BF DD who is now 5 days old. Today we have given up and gone on to FF.

She latched very well and was great to feed at first. Problem is I have always hated my nipples being touched. I was putting up with it with the gaps between feeding but when it came to cluster feeding, I was cringing and dreading it. Last night, after 7 and a half hours of constant on/off feeding, it got to 2.30am and I gave DD a bottle, she still took well over 2oz but finally settled. BF at 6.30 then early afternoon she fed 3 times and was still wanting more so gave her 3oz and she again settled for hours.

Spoken to MW. I have been crying since yesterday and this lack of sleep (I also have M.E.) and constant feeding have really got me down so we agreed it was best to move on.

I just feel like a failure tbh. It was going so well but on balance, I need all the energy I can get to look after DS (3) and DD and the very frequent BF wasn't going to help. I feel like all I am doing is justifying myself. DH thinks FF is the better way to go, after seeing the total state I got myself into.

I just want to hear from others who have been through the same.

Ahem, what a great name you have there!

Crap bag you have a duty to yourself and your baby, you've tried your best....that's all any good mother does! So no berating here!

Erm can you change your name now?

You should have chosen bananaHammock!

Maybe that will be my next name if it hasn't been used, I do change regularly.

Yes, I should!

I always wanted to be "FFandproud" but never quite had the guts.

Hey CrapBag, I love the name! That scene never fails to make me laugh.

I just wanted to comment to say I totally understand about the sensitive nipples thing. I felt that I must be abnormal because I literally hate having them touched or even touching them myself - what you said about putting nipple cream on them resonates so much with me - so glad it is not just me! Also I keep having to peel the pads off my nipples which is horrible and I have mostly just given up using them and just getting my clothes wet instead. I am BF (my DS is almost 4 weeks old) but it has been a struggle and still is really, the latch is not perfect so sometimes it is still toe-curlingly painful. I think my nipples are "toughening up" now but I was this close to FF too and I think in your situation I definitely would have done, it sounds as though it is the best thing for your DD and for you. BF is really exhausting (wish someone had told me how much, I was totally unprepared!) and with your illness and a 3yo to look after you are only doing what is best for everyone. I too didn't like the idea of mix feeding - not sure why, I know it's great for some, I just felt the unpredictability/instability(? possibly wrong word) wasn't for us - so I can totally empathise with your feelings on this and just wanted to say please don't feel guilty or that you have to justify the decision to anyone or even yourself! Congratulations on your DD, I hope things are a bit better now. :)

Thanks Lottery sounds just like me. Well done on getting to 4 weeks. It does sound like you feel just like I do about nipples so you really have done amazingly well to get to 4 weeks.

Congratulations on your DS.

Bike sounds like a good name to me.