So upset told EBF 5 mo is "overweight and in the danger zone"

[Halfbaked]

Hi I've just come back from the HV ( I know but so far they have been excellent) I am in tears.

DD is ebf and just turned 5mo, she was 7lb 6oz at birth 25th percentile she is now 20lb 1oz and between the 98th and 99th percentile.
I only stayed to ask how you tell the difference between teething and weaning signs, as i think she possibly is ready for weaning but wanted to do BLW as sitting up etc but seems early still.

I have been told to drop a feed and swap with water as she is clearly overweight and in the danger zone. If I keep on feeding her she will be off the charts and did a look to suggest action would be taken.

I said I had been told many times you cannot overfeed a breastfed baby, including by her colleagues when I have visited before- (in fact last time they congratulated me on doing so well and that it was rare to find EBF babies in the area.)

She said this was not true and some babies can be. She said the chart clearly shows that she is heading off the scale, that I should not wean her until at least 6 months because she will be obese.

I said perhaps I ought to take her to the Dr's she said it wasn't a medical matter. There was a trainee dr(I think) with her who was a bit flustered when asked her advice saying the HV knew more about feeding but pretty much backed her up.

I left, was in a daze came home and cried my eyes out.

So from all the posts that I have lurked on here, I think I am right but I feel so undermined and tbh I've worried about the weight thing from the beginning as she still nurses every 2 hours except at night.

Am I overfeeding her? Is she obese? Why am i listening to one HV when 4 others said the opposite?
So sorry for the long post.

Last year my ds2 went from 9th to 98th centile on EBF. When he was 7 months old i was told to bf him no more than 3 x a day, not to give him any night feeds, to only give him 3 meals a day and NO snacks as he was getting older All this was from HV! At that stage he'd only tried some veggies and fruit! I'm soooo glad i completely ignored her IMO very dangerous advice!! I continued to follow my instinct instead, and bf on demand and offered healthy meals and snacks. Ds2 gradually came down to the 75th centile once crawling/walking.

Sorry you've been landed with a dangerously ignorant HV.

If you do have the time, I like bedlam's idea of contacting the team leader. SOMEONE should be aware of this HV's, ahem, learning needs... batty HVs get away with it becuase mothers of babies are too busy to complain or give feedback.

The more I hear the more convinced I am that HVs are numpties.

There are good HVs but there seems to be a complete lack of quality control to root out the numpties and stop them making stuff up. Their professional association told me that Primary Care Trusts don't fund any protected time for training - so HVs can merrily carry along spouting absolute nonsense if they choose.

Hi, I haven't read the whole thread but a similar thing happened to me. I was terribly upset to be told to put my baby on a diet at six months. It was a load of utter rubbish and she has really slimmed out now she is walking. As long as your baby is happy and healthy then don't worry!

DD was 7lbs when born and off the charts by 12 weeks.

The basic idea behind centiles is that they give an average. Of course some will be bigger, some smaller than the average middle line.

Anyway, dd is 3.9 now and she's slim, fit, strong and tall. Still at the top of the charts mind but then she's also at the top for height. Nowt wrong with her. She was 26lbs before she had anything other than milk. She was clearly thriving.

What will your hv do if your child is near the top for height too and heading for a danger zone? Chop off his feet?

I had the same thing happen to me with ds. He was ebf and got very fat in the first 6 months. HV pointed to charts and fussed. Suggested that I should start solids right away. I ignored. This was in the early days of mumsnet and there wasn't so much information available on the internet, but lots of nutritionists in the family, so I continued with my bfing and started solids at 6 months as originally planned.

My dd was just as fat as a baby, but had a much better hv. Anyway, ds is now 10 and dd is 8 and they are both skinny as can be. When babies start crawling they skinny up a bit and then when they start walking they skinny up some more.

Halfbaked I had a similar situation with my first who was always above the 75th centile and got up to the 98th centile, also EBF.
Once she was mobile she slimmed right down and now is a slim little thing at nearly 2.

I was made to feel guilty that I was overfeeding her, I was asked to detail exactly what I was feeding her. I said, fruit, veg, homemade meals and they didn't believe me. I think they thought I was just giving her crap, this was at about 8 mths - did they think I was giving her BigMacs??

My second is now chubby, chubby, chubby. This time round though I know that once she gets moving she will slim down and I'm just enjoying having a lovely little bundle of chub to cuddle. I'm not taking her to get weighed. I pop her on my digital bathroom scales once in a blue moon, just out of interest, but otherwise I just use the 'observation rule'.

ie. Does baby look healthy? Is baby meeting milestones? Does baby interact? Is baby happy? Is parent happy with babys' health?
As long as the answer is yes then all is fine. If the answer is no to any of them, it wouldn't be a HV I went to see anyway!!

If you are worried book to see a GP, one you feel comfortable with. Otherwise, I'd avoid the HVs, or at least if you walk in and its the horrid HV just turn around again and try another week when hopefully it will be someone else. You don't need to be dealing with HVs that make you cry. I've been there and done it and life is too short!

My son was around that weight at that age, he was 10kg (about 22 lb) at 6 months old too. I live in Holland and the equivalent of our health visitor was just really pleased with his progress!!! Sure, he was off the top of the scale too but the scale is for formula fed babies!! Breast fed's are always bigger for the first 6 months I believe, then they slope off a bit.

I'd go get a second opinion if I were you .... or just totally ignore her! Sounds to me like you're doing fine. :)

It's worrying that the HV is dishing out diet advice for a 6 month old and just as worrying that a trainee doc is learning from her advice.

Like someone else said, surely the baby's height would need to be taken into account too. And, like kids of all ages, they go through spurts where the are heavier, take a stretch and then even out.

Personally, I'd complain about the HV's advice and the way it was put across.

Agree with everyone above that your HV is nuts and you should not take her advice, and listen to someone who knows about breastfeeding.

My DS was on the 7 lbs 8 oz at birth, and by 3 months was on the 98th/99th centile. He's still cruising along the 98th centile at 13 months. The only comments I've had from HVs were 'we've certainly got no concerns about his weight' and saying how healthy he was.

When the dust settles, a complaint would definitely be in order

And DS was feeding every 2-3 hours until 12 months.

FWIW, the NHS recommendations on weaning do recommend starting before 6 months with finger food (ie BLW) if your LO is able to sit unsupported and pick up & eat finger food.

Osh tosh b'gosh

If your baby is 99% for height, then 99% for weight is absolutely perfectly and wonderfully in proportion.

BF babies tend to gain weight faster earlier than FF, then level out.

You cannot overfeed a BF baby.

These things I have learned from BF 2 babies for a year apiece and obsessive mumsnetting , both of whom started off v low on the charts, then shot up to the top for both height and weight. One is now 75% height and about 40% weight (dropped her baby weight and is long and lean like her dad), and the other is 99.6% height and about 90% weight. So both are absolutely perfect in every way, and in no way obese just because they were heavy on the charts.

THIS MEANS THAT YOUR MILK SUPPLY IS GOOD AND YOU ARE DOING AN EXCELLENT JOB

Sorry, I don't usually shout, but fgs, how dare your HV undermine you like this. I believe HV are meant to be concerned if there is more than two lines of difference between height and weight - so if she didn't even take into account height then how on earth is she actually doing her job competently?

All mine shot through the percentiles like bullets! They eventually settled down, all were chubby babies and all slimmed down once they started crawling and walking.

Mine were all off the chart for length/height so as far as I was concerned they were in proportion.

Try not to worry, in my experience the HVs would have wildly differing opinions on pretty much every aspect of baby care. Even the ones in the same centre would contradict each other!

If your LO is happy and content, you're obviously doing something right!

Wow I am overwhelmed with the response, I haven't posted here very often, a serial lurker, so thank you all.

The lovely lady from NCT echoed the same as you all have said. HV is wrong and has undermined my confidence.

I think I will complain, as I don't want anyone else being told the same, and as carnival said a trainee dr picking up incorrect information.

As I said she is the only one who has given dubious advice, but it only takes one person to knock your confidence and not everyone knows about the brilliant support on here.

Angeldog thanks for that link, that is exactly what I wanted to know!

Halfbaked - really glad you feel better about this.

The health visitor needs some training in communications and in supporting mothers, I think.

Your baby's weight gain is unusual, for sure - but weight is only one sign of a baby's health and well-being. If a baby crosses two or more centile lines up or downwards and this is sustained, then it makes sense (and is accepted good practice) for a health visitor to ask the mother what is happening - if a baby is going upwards, then the HV might check the mother is not weaning on bread and lard :) for example, or giving unnecessary bottles of formula, or that there is no sign of some rare metabolic disorder.

Usually, all is well, and the weight gain/loss is physiological ie what the baby is 'meant' to be at that time.

It is totally inappropriate to recommend withholding breastmilk from a baby who appears well and healthy in every way. If there is some sign of a problem, then you are right - you need a medical opinion.

Can you call the HV you feel confident in and let her know how upset you have felt? I don't think HCPs should get away with this unkind treatment of mothers :(

Thanks tiktok I have been asked before, as she is putting on about a pound a week, but as soon as I mentioned EBF they were happy. I was just really taken aback at her advice and insistence that I was wrong.

Maybe she thought EBF stood for exclusive bread and fat?

I will be contacting the health care team to flag this up.

Or 'eggs, bacon and fajitas' :)

Yes - flag it up!

HAha sounds like my daughter! She went from 50th to 92nd percentile in 8 weeks and has stayed there ever since (now 17 weeks). She is also ebf. In my case, i was the one thinking i must be overfeeding her, but i kept checking with gp, hv etc and all say you can't.

Although your hv sounds crazy for suggesting your dc might be obese later when it is shown that it has nothing to do with each other, i actually do agree with the advice not to introduce purees etc, as clearly your milk is enough. It looks like with breastfeeding and blw you are doing exactly the right thing! I am planning on the same aporoach with my BIG girl :-).

To be honest, i dont even go to weigh her anymore, i know she's fine and i won't let some random person tell me how to feed my baby. It's based on this nannystate assumptions that mothers are uneducated and unknowledgable and i reject that assumption.

You know better than your hv! Your baby is thriving.

My ds put on a pound a week when he was little and being b/f. Had a lovely HV back then who was extremely supportive - she knew how I'd struggled establishing b/f and was always really encouraging. Never raised any concerns about his impressive weight gain at all (he's always been long/tall and muscle-y just like his Dad).

Halfbaked - I hope you feel reassured, just remember the world's population is made up of varying sizes of people! ;-)

I do wonder about HV's myself, mine tried to tell me my DS1 was severely malnutritioned and small at 8 weeks according to her charts, until I informed her if she read the notes she would see he was born 8 weeks early doh! Quite satisfying seeing her red face!!

Good luck and enjoy Bfing your little one!

Grrr for you, halfbaked.

DS is the same - BF and on the 99th percentile. He's now 11 months and has slimmed down since he started crawling (although still 99th percentile, I think he's just growing upwards rather than outwards and is losing some of his many chins).

He doesn't eat many solids really, but still BF a lot, so I figure he's doing fine - and I just ignored the HV at his 'one year' developmental check who after asking 'when was he last breastfed?' tutted and wrote down in his red book 'breastfeeds THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT'.

Glad the link was useful, OP.

Actually, domesticdiva has a good point about human error. My HV once weighed DS who had barely put on any weight at all in a month or more. "That's odd, he hardly looks like he's wasting away," she said. It turned out she'd failed to re-set the scales to zero.

God, DS2 was 9lbs at birth and by 5 months was waaaaay off the charts. I was starting to wonder if I was actually producing rocket fuel rather than BM.

He was squidgy and had multiple elbows and knees because of the fat rolls. Very proud of myself actually as DS1 was a bit scrawny (not that I did anything different, they were just different).

He is 10 months now and eats like a horse and still BFs every 3 hours or so through the day but because he is crawling/cruising he has lots most of his lovely pudge, still cuddly but doesn't look like a sumo wrestler anymore.

The HV you spoke to is an idiot.