BREASTFEEDING MUMS - feeding in public

[Dozeyland]

When did you feel 100% confident in doing so?

any tips?

other than not caring what people think!

I second the two tops method, if the top top is smocky and roomy it helps and I also used to drape a dark coloured scarf (mine is an old headscarf a Muslim friend gave me if that gives an idea of the size and sort of gauzy but not see through material) over my shoulder for added privacy til I got "good" at getting baby on and off. By about 12 weeks I could easily manage without. I'd recommend this over those nursing cover things, cos the only ones I've seen have been really, really garish and sort of scream I'M BREASTFEEDING OVER HERE. DP is really unfazed by breastfeeding women but on seeing a lady put one on in a cafe said "what the f*ck is that woman doing? Oh, she's going to feed the baby. I wouldn't have noticed if she'd not tied a clown's trousers round her neck". I've had nobody even mention it in the 9 months I've been feeding DD and I have very large boobs on a normalish size body.
Feed your baby in front of a mirror or get a friend to film you on your mobile, you can't see owt! Get feeding :)

I found meeting up with other people also breastfeeding really helpful and a confidence booster. Luckily a friend had a baby a few weeks after me and she was pretty confident, so we spent a lot of time in Coffee shops for a few weeks. More practice = more confidence for me.

Now I don't care if people see anything- though I'm still trying to be discreet-ish. Just wish ds would sit still and wasn't such a heavy lump!

I think being brave about feeding in public has been the key to bf ds for longer- I stopped bf after 2 months with dd- I didn't ever feed out and about... It has also made me feel bolder in general. Babies really do teach you new things!!

Good luck! Just keep trying, you will get the hang of it!

I wouldn't say I'm 100% confident yet but I do it, I just make myself. I know where the breastfeeding friendly places are and go there. I also have a group of friends who are all breastfeeding and I meet up with them a lot and it helps normalise things a bit for me I think.

I was with one of these friends the other day in a cafe where I wouldn't have been happy to feed (too crowded, too many men) and she just got on with it with no concern and no-one even looked and it made me question why I even worried about it. I also feel happy that if anyone said anything I could get the manager to speak to them.

I do have a bottle feeding friend who thinks BF is disgusting and it makes me feel very uncomfortable and I have to say I mainly avoid her as it's easier. Not ideal for our friendship but that's the way it is. I have never met anyone else like her though, I think she's an exception!

Thanks for the replies, really helps. :)

I have my feeding tops from H&M too, and also use boob-tubes which i find fab.

As for feeding in front of family, (i live at home with DP, Dad, and brother. dad and brother have never been around breastfeeding before and still do the [confused eyes wandering thing.

im sure once im ok feeding in front of them they will be, i guess it is just a matter of practice and confidence over time.

Baby Cafe is lovely, i look forward to it every tuesday, i am the yougnest one there by far (i am 21 nearly 22) but they make me feel welcome which is nice. i feel 100% feeding there, but when it comes to feeding in public on my own - not so much (YET!) and also all of my friends with babies bottle-feed...

i will eventually have the "NOT CARE HAT" on, (she says!)

I have a very supportive family, and friends but its me who feels a bit awkward - no idea why. i never grew up knowing about breastfeeding, i tried it when i had DD and i love it. my mum for instance never tried, doesnt know anything about it so she can't really advise., maybe thats why i feel awkward because they havent been around it.?

i try explaining to my little sister about it (i do tons of reading about breastfeeding/child attachment theory etc) and she seems to get it now. but my DP's siblings are fine with it - as they've grown up knowing what its all about!

SOrry i ramble so much i lose the point of what im trying to talk about lol

Oh yeah, forgot to add, when in public my face doesnt take long to go a lovely shade of red - i think that will draw more attention to my feeding rather than feeding itself! especially with friends! and i dont want them thinking im uncomfortable! but the blushing is uncontrollable!

Practice in front of a mirror and be pleasantly surprised at how little flesh actually shows

A cardie to hide any exposed flesh and sit facing the room - I feel quite exposed with my back to the room.

i hated it with ds1....

with ds2 i got a black nursing cover and it has been worth every penny, i can wear what i like and it covers my boobs and i have fed everywhere with comfort

Do try not to worry. This takes time and practice and experience that is all.

I am bf the little girl having bf my son until he weaned himself off the boob (:() at 11 months.

If the baby is hungry, she gets fed. No matter where we are.

When the boy was 10 months, I went to my admittance to the roll ceremony at the law society and breastfed him there. I was just about to whack em out (although, not really out as such, I also have used the 2 top method from the off) and a chap asked me if I'd like to feed elsewhere. I was in two minds as to be annoyed or not, but he pointed at these little cubicle type places off the main room. They sound plain, but they were gorgeous with a lovely view and he got me a really comfy seat. I was thankful to him, and thankful I hadn't been a little twatish about getting cross!

Even I get, not shocked, but a little jolt when I notice someone is bf and look away quickly. I am not embarrassed, I assume she is not embarrassed, but you ARE in a somewhat vulnerable position when out and about and feeding, esp if you are on your own. So I just look away and give her some privacy - and a smile if she catches my eye.

I've never had any negative comments.

I've not had any stares, just a couple of smiles from ladies. Don't catch people's eye and watch your baby if you feel self-conscious.

Most people don't notice what you're doing. I had a conversation with a single male friend of mine who stopped as he saw me sitting down feeding 11 m.o. DS. He'd have been very embarassed if he realised what I was doing, but he clearly thought we were just enjoying a lovely cuddle.

I've found it worst with family members tbh, although they find it more embarassing than me. FIL always leaves the room & my dad tactfully stares out of the window!

Practice, practice, practice was the best tip I was ever given. First I practiced amongst other bf-ing mums, but I challenged myself to feed somewhere new each week and before I knew it I was feeding everywhere. Which was fortunate, because DD2 wanted feeding everywhere and I would have been stuck in the house otherwise. I refer to DD2 as my little adventurer because she and I did so much and had such fun during my second maternity leave (first mat leave was mostly spent expressing milk for DD1 then having it vomited over me, rinse and repeat). I have to say though, breastfeeding in public - even with inadvertant nipple spray on occasion - is a lot less embarrassing than having your baby vomit a full 5oz of EBM onto a slate floor in a cafe with great accoustics. And then realising that you've left your muslins in the car ...

I feel fairly confident but I have a preference for those tops which have a false bit by the boobs and you just pull them aside. I don't like the tops where you have to pull the front right up.

I've also started taking a scarf with me to kind of drape around my son and my boob. I find it more embarrassing infront of some friends (male ones of my DH's) and male family members.

Once the baby is on I am fine but I do find all the fumbling about until the baby has latched on a bit stressful.

Getting my Dd latched can be a wrestling match atm and we're still learning but I have a thin wide pashmina-style scarf I wear anyway and I just drape that over Dd until she's on properly. It gives me confidence.

I don't use the two top method. If you're worried about any tummy flesh then sit behind a cafe table. A cardigan is useful to hide your boob from the side in case you end up in the middle of a cafe and you can't turn away to latch. Usually I wear a top I can hitch up, but sometimes I forget. If it's a top I have to open downwards I just do it as quickly as possible and throw a muslin over the flesh on view ASAP. When you're still not 100% confident with latching is definitely safer to hitch up!

I once accidentally left a nipple on display for a few seconds in front of a friend - top not fully returned over boob after feeding and I didn't notice . She never said anything but she must have noticed. I try not to think about it, but I cringe when I do!

Best experience I had was in Portugal. The waiter came over, topped up my wine and said "It's good for the milk!

I took another step today and fed in public, in costa in town!, i felt a bit nervous at first, then i found a more comfortable seat at the back and as i was feeding, this old lady came up to me (me thinking she would be rude) and she said "i love to see baby's being breast-fed, it's the best thing! i don't understand some women who think breastfeeding is wrong" and she saif how cute DD was.

Made my day :)

It wasn't so bad after all, maybe because once DD was latched it wasn't even noticable to the majority of people...

i think i just need to be sat somewhere nice and comfy, and feel relaxed then we'll get there

Well done! and hurrah for the nice lady :) Honestly I have never had a funny look or comment, only people being nice.

Dozey - well done! And how lovely that you got such a positive response :)

I always wore a top that I could unbutton and pull to the side, or a cardi and vest with a drop-clip. I never felt happy pulling my top up - mainly because of muffin top issues!
I've got quite big boobs and there was never much on show because I would just pull my cardi a bit further round or tuck a muslin into my bra strap.

I never bothered with the 2 tops, just a normal top and made sure I was sitting down with baby / toddler on lap before I lifted it up. Not because I was embarrassed about flashing my boobs but because no-one deserved to see my stretch-marked covered tummy!

I have big boobs and I always thought people could tell when I was feeding, but when I was bridesmaid at my sister's wedding I had a sleeveless top - basque style top on, and took DS2 (18 mo) to a quiet room to feed him as he got very distracted by noise. I just hoiked my boob out over the top and started to feed him. There was a woman in the room who looked over and commented on what a nice cuddle....I pointed out I was feeding and she said she hadn't realised! With me sitting there with my boob hanging over my top, with a noisy slurpy toddler, about 5 feet away from her!

That's when I realised it really is VERY hard to tell when someone is feeding, so I say just get on with it and you will soon wonder what all the fuss is about!

Well done Dozeyland!

Well done!

Another vote for Aibaba's cardi method - but I do like my cardigans. :)

Well done Dozey and wasn't that lady sweet!