BFing while out

[LLKH]

OK, now that DD and I have mastered bfing itself, how do I feel less self-conscious when we are out and she needs to eat?

Any advice?

Well done for cracking BF I don't have time to write a massive long post so please excuse the bullet point-y style.

• Go with a friend that is also BF
• Wear a stretchy vest under a normal T shirt or top, this means you don't have to flash your back or stomach
• Tuck a muslin square into your bra strap to soak up leaks or cover up if your DD suddenly decides to unlatch
• Go somewhere BF friendly, Costa is pretty good
• Practice in front of a mirror so you can see how much flesh you aren't showing and that it just looks like you're cuddling your baby
• Remember that nasty looks/comments are incredibly rare; I'm 32 weeks pregnant and still BF my 2.2 yo DD in public which must be a rare sight but I've never had any problems, and this is in an area where the BF rate is quite low.

Congratulations and well done from me too

Some great advice from EauRudolph, especially remembering that most people will just think you are cuddling your baby anyway.

As well as all the above advice you could always go along to your nearest NCT, LLL or Bfing Support group and feed there.

You'll be fine, enjoy your trip out

It's worth remembering that you're absolutely legally entitled to BF in public so IF you do (very, very unlikely) get any problems, the best thing to do is to ask for the person's name and address so that you can persue a case against them . Just knowing this made me feel much happier and in 15 months of BFing DS1 and nearly 6 so far with DS2 I've had soooo many lovely positive comments and people saying supportive things, or just grinning/thumbs up etc and one perhaps, possibly two dodgy looks (but they may have been having a bad day and not really looking at me). Never, ever been challenged in any way at all.

Like organic I've never had a single negative comment and I had DC1 long before the legislation came in.

Have got an everso slight look about me that would suggest it would be unwise to comment though, especially when bfing

I would just add a suggestion to wear loose, long tops so there is plenty to drape. A good friend used to wrap herself in a big pashmina but it just attracted attention really IMO.
Public attitude has come a long way since I first BF. I never had any problems with others except for the few who don't realise you are feeding and come and stare at the baby

I bought a whole pile of vests in a stretchy silky fabric from M & S in different colours, and wear them under cheap t shirts in the same colour. Especially with black, you can hardly tell I've pulled the top up and the vest down - baby's head covers everything. If you're somewhere you might feel you need to be extra discreet, a pashmina tied once around your neck with one end over the baby's neck works wonders.

Also it's legal to feed anywhere, and illegal to stop you, but in any case noone's ever said anything bad to me.

The main thing is to not worry about it. What I realised really quickly was that most people are way too self-absorbed to even notice what you're doing and I never once had a bad comment despite BFing in some slightly unusual places including a very stuffy golf club. Many times I BFd in very busy /pubs even when other people were practically sitting inches away and clearly paid no attention at all.I just used a muslin/scarf or similar to be discrete if I felt like it, but other times I didn't use anything at all. I think what helped me was partly that I went to a few places where BFing is very common (mum and baby cafes and places where there are loads of mums and kids like baby gyms) quite a bit when DS1 was very young. That got me used to doing it and so very quickly I realised I could happily BF absolutely anywhere. It meant that I was totally unrestricted about the sorts of things I could do when my DS was really young and I had an enormous amount of fun in my first 6 months with DS.

Another thing that I think also helps is to remember that if someone gives you a 'funny look' it is very likely that it has nothing to do with you BFing. They may just be having a bad day and have one of those faces that looks standoffish without meaning to - when you're not BFing just notice how many people look at you 'in a funny way'.

Also people who give you a second look or a genuine funny look it might just be that they are thinking 'wow, that lady is breasfeeding, I don't see that often round here, that's cool / interesting'. Don't assume that a 'funny look' is a negative look.

Well done on getting to this point and I hope you have many more months of happy BFing.

All the above advice is great. I also never had any negative comments/looks and used to bf a lot when our and about.

Another good tip is to suss out places in advance- think about where you could go in your local high st so that when the baby does need a feed at short notice you already have a place in mind. If you feel self-conscious at first look for cafes that have plenty of seats at the back away from the window, or alcoves where you can turn away from the main area. Once you've done it a few times you won't worry where you sit and it will come naturally!

Sit down on a chair in front of a full length mirror.
Have a go at b/f. YOu will see if you have any odd gaps you haven't thought of, and I should think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how little is showing.

Well done LLKH it's great when you get to this point isn't it, makes things so much easier.
Don't really have anything to add to the above, all sound advise. I too never had any negative comments, only people who ever commented where very possitive, even 78 year old old lady in the hospital A&E who was constantly staring at me, then lent over and said "sorry, it's just it's soooo lovely to see a mum feeding her baby".
In fact I had two rather funny experiences, one was having a full blown conversation with the land lady of our local, who was very suprised when DD popped her milky mush up after a feed, transpires she didn't realise and was very embarrassed that she had interrupted DD dinner !
Second was sitting next to a male colleague during lunch as a little get togther while I was on maternity leave. I was happily feeding DD, he hadn't realised and then DD let out a huge burp, he thought it was me lol.
Keep going, I soooooooooooo miss breast feeding :(

Thank you all for your advice. I knew posting on here would help. I did manage to feed her while out today, but that was in a very baby-oriented shop. Still, one has to start somewhere, right?

That's fab news LLKH. Keep up the good work and have a lovely Christmas

Well done LLKH - first time is quite daunting, I remember it from my first DD 3.5 years ago.

Brilliant advice here,so all I'll add is that like anything,the more you do it,the more confident you get.

Google breastvest!! Really good at hiding mummy tummy! Well done you. :)

I don't know if this helps, but on my first breastfeed in a public place I was in a cafe in a shopping centre, messing around with breastfeeding top and blankets etc. A woman leaned over from the table next to me and said (in a VERY posh voice) something like: "Oh bugger it! There's no need to mess around. You feed your baby and bollocks to anyone who has a problem with it!" It did my confidence a lot of good.

BTW, my local Mothercare had a great breastfeeding room, which was brilliant. I always had a good chat in there with the other mums too!

pasta that's lovely!

I started a thread here a while ago (you should be able to find it) about positive BFing in public stories and we got some crackers. One that stood out was a mum feeding somewhere and an old lady stormed up to her, waving her stick and shouting, "I've got one thing to say to you young lady! Well Done!". And she stormed away again, stick waving.

I went into a pub when DS2 was 2 days old, feeding him in a sling and the server came and peered into the sling, not realising I was "boobs out" and she said in a broad Irish accent, "Oh, you are good to do that, you are" which was so nice!

One other time I was trying to empty my trolley in Sainsburys at the checkout, with DS2 in the sling and feeding (thinking I was being all discrete) when a staff member ran over and started helping me, telling me, "we've all done it, we know what it's like, you just let me help you".

People are so nice :)

I agree, I have had lovely lovely comments about feeding when out and about, and never a nasty look or word. Disappointing really as I like a good fight

Those waterfall cardies that are around at the moment are a good piece of bf clothing I find, as are wrap tops.

Cosmosis: I know what you mean about fighting, I've had my lines ready for years and have never come across any negative comments - fed in front of my boss, on a building site of a project I was PMing, at a bus stop - only comments have been along the lines of not even having realised I was feeding or (in the case of lovely grannies) 'Good for you!' or in one case 'I do love a booby baby!' Anyway - more power to your bosoms, OP.

Is it me or do the biscuits look like festive boobs??

Not just you

I'm just getting to the stage of needing to bf in public so this is very helpful, thanks :)

Can I just recommend John Lewis, they have a great Parents Room, lots of chairs and clean changing mats, we did our first out-of-the-house feed there and it was surprisingly easy

As other people have said, it's surprising how little people take notice of what you're doing. I even had a single male friend stop and talk to me while I was feeding my 11 m.o. DS. He's the sort of person who would have been really embarassed if he'd realised what I was doing but he clearly had no idea even though I was feeding right in front of him!

I find a cardigan good - I have a couple of 'waterfall' type ones. You can drape them over the side of your DC's head, they hide any gaps and stop draughts without you having to draw attention to yourself with a muslin / cover up etc.

Libraries are good bf friendly places too IME - our county has a bf policy which states that bf women are encouraged to use the library to feed (along with an explanation for other library users as to why that's good e.g. not crying babies/toddlers). I found that feeding in the children's section was easiest way to start my feeding-in-public habits.

This is such a reassuring thread. I feel much more confident now especially as I have mastered the snaps on my nursing bra.