Should breast and bottle feeding discussions be separate?

[mears]

Following on fron the Aptamil and allergies thread. Davros posted that bottle feeding was not included as a discussion title before - I hadn't actually noticed that. I thought there was a breast feeding one and a bottle feeding one. It has made me think though. Should they be separate to avoid any more arguements about 'breast feeding police' and guilt? Just a thought. Would it make a difference?

I think it is a good idea. I noticed at my pregnancy classes that the midwife made women put their hands up who were planning to bottle feed - it was very uncomfortable as she had just given a 'breast is best' speech and she had made very clear where her allegiances were. I think it might save some discomfort and prevent turning bottle feeding mums off mumsnet.

I think it is a good idea. I noticed at my pregnancy classes that the midwife made women put their hands up who were planning to bottle feed - it was very uncomfortable as she had just given a 'breast is best' speech and she had made very clear where her allegiances were. I think it might save some discomfort and prevent turning bottle feeding mums off mumsnet.

I was sure there were two separate topics for breast and bottle ages ago and then they were suddenly merged. Maybe I was imagining it. Definitely worth having separate topics I think.

I don't think so, because for many mothers the two are used simultaneously--therefore to separate them seems (to me) artificial. Furthermore, both are ways of getting milk to a baby, so why have 2 topics on getting milk to a baby, when there are so many really different topics which need separate subject headings.

Mind you, I haven't read the Aptamil thread, so don't know about "police" and so on.

But I find that, in general, the discussion titles inform the reader if the conversation is about breast or bottle. And from there it's easy to avoid the subjects that don't apply to your own knowledge/way of doing things/etc.

What about those who do both? I guess that they would post on both topics? It does sound like a good idea.

'breast feeding police' - that sounds awful. haven't read the thread so not sure what it's all about. I thinks it's a bit sad that there should be 2 differerent topics entirely. I fed my DD by breast and bottle, first 2 days of her life she was on Cow & Gate given by hospital through a tube up her nose, then went onto breast only, then onto breast and expressed milk in bottle, then started mixing in cow and gate to expressing and breast when I went back to work. So where would I have fitted in???!!!

I thought the same Bobsmum about the separate titles. Mixed feeding can be discussed on the breastfeeding thread. I have been aware of more people getting annoyed about breastfeeding promotion. Wondrerd if it was more apparent since the merger of threads. Just an observation.

Hmm, just had a good old read of that thread and I guess they should be seperate, somewhere mumns who are bottle feeding don't have to be mad to feel bad. I undersatnd more now.
BTW, my DD was given cow and gate at the hospital without anyone asking what i had planned for her, which was breastfeeding. She was born with down's for those that don't know by now and was put straight into intensive care and then transferred to the special care unit. It waas only on day 2 that my shock was waring off and i suddenly thought - shit I haven't fed her. i ran into the I.C and said OMG - she';s not been fed and they pointed out the tube with a load of C&G being pumped through it! Felt really pissed off and siad 'oh - well I was going to breast deed her', and it was only then I was shown how to express!

I feel everyone should be more tolerant & respectful of other people's wishes and whatever they decide to do - if the two topics were 'separate' wouldn't it alientate the two 'sides' even more? Like others, I very happily 'mix fed' but until I read about others mothers doing 'mixed feeding' I wasn't aware how popular it was.

You could say that a lot of subjects should be 'separated' (eg: vaginal & CS births) but that would be a shame as if you only read your 'own subject' thread youre not learning much - whether or not you always agree is a different matter but I have learned so much about lots of different issues on Mumnset.

I think that if you have strong views either way then bite your bloody tongue (cyberly!) and think before you post. Too many times strong views are posted, then there is a flurry of you said she said posts, and it all goes pear shaped.

I am now off home so will read any retorts another time.

No, they should stay together - as Expatkat said, it's all about getting milk into babies.

We should be tolerant of other people's choices of how they feed their baby, not separating formula and breast into two sides.

With both together, a mother who is determined to bottle feed as she has never experienced breastfeeding will stumble across threads which may persuade her to give bf a try, a mother struggling to breastfeed will stumble across threads showing that mixed feeding is perfectly workable.

Yes, actually that's exactly what it's about - getting milk into babies. They needn't be seperate subjects if people were a little more thoughtful about what they were saying. Really well said Sopie, OliveOil & Lindy.

Good points. Tolerance of others' views is the key.

I would like this Topic to be renamed "Infant Feeding". The militant BRfeeding Nazi in me finds the current title provocative, almost inflamatory, like the two words definitely belong together. A lot of breastfeeders get shtick about WHEN are they going to bottles, while in truth that doesn't ever have to happen. (But give me credit for showing restraint by not hassling any bottle feeders here since the name change, ok?!). "Infant Feeding" would cover the gamut of feeding techniques/issues/questions for under 1's. Especially solids.

message withdrawn

I also sympathise with breast feeders who are fed up with people asking them when they intend to bottle feed. However I can say it isn't much fun being on the other side of the fence. I had a lot of very negative comments made to me because I had to bottle feed. I couldn't breast feed (and please don't anyone else give me the 'you could if you realy tried' lecture...I did for a long time and my dd was starving). Not putting breast and bottle feeding together is insulting to those of us who gave our baies the best we could, and in my case it was a bottle. It is annoying that breast feeders are pestered but at least you have a choice, many of us do not, so lets not add insult to injury?

Cor Zebra, you're a food Nazi and a Breastfeeding Nazi?

I know, WWW, bad in'it? You should see me in my high heel boots with my leather whip out .... in my husband's dreams, maybe...

Actually, I think a true Nazi wants to rule the world and fundamentally I don't want to make other people do what I think is best, but I won't ignore it if I think their logic is fundamenally wrong. Maybe that's why I stand my ground so tenaciously. Or maybe I'm just too stupid to shut up, back down & give myself an easy life.

I totally agree with you Zebra. Let's get the title of the discussion changed to Infant Feeding. Everyone agreed?

Umm, no, I don't agree. Infant feeding could include solids, too. Perhaps we could find titles for milk feeding before solids introduced, and for milk feeding together with solids. How about 'Milk Feeding' for the first, and 'Milk Feeding and Solids' for the second?

Or how about adding some extra ones like "Milk feeding when you're trying to introduce solids" Milk feeding when solids are established" "Moving on to milk feeding and lumpier foods" and "giving up milk feeding altogether". Let's make sure we cover everything.

I seriously can't see what the problem with "breast and bottle feeding". Pretty much every mother uses a bottle eventually whether it's for formula or EBM. I really can't believe that anyone finds the title provocative or inflamatory! I'm a pretty militant breastfeeder but only so far as I believe everyone should at least give it a try (medical conditions excepted). Why should it bother me how someone else's baby is fed if both mother and baby are happy?? It's really none of my business unless they ask for help/opinions.

(OldDragon slinks back to her cave huffing and puffing)

Actually, as an ex-mix-feeder, I like the B&B title. I just think that 'Infant Feeding' is too wide if it's to be a replacement for B&B.

I'm with you Old Dragon. Ps love the name!

My babies had both breast milk and formula milk, so I have no strong beliefs either way. In fact the only think that makes me get a bit hot under the collar is if breast and formula feeding discussions don't touch on the mixed feeding route. If feeding thereads become polarrised, this IMO useful middle way might get lost.

I also think it's a really good that breast feeders can read the views of bottle feeders and visa versa. I have certainly learned a lot.

I don't follow many feeding debates, so am not sure if misunderstandings and bad feeling are increasing on them. Is this so?

My suggesting FWIW: How about having a mumsnet message or an automatic pop up near each milk feeding blank new message box. This mumsnet message reminds people, just before their fingers touch the keyboard, about being tolerant of other people's feeding views and respecting their decisions.

I don't see a problem at all with the 'breast and bottle feeding' topic. Like some of you I just saw it as a topic about feeding milk to babies .... why on earth should people have a problem with it?
I bottle fed my DS from 8 weeks but plan to breastfeed my next child for much much longer if possible ... and it is mumsnet and discussions on the subject that I have followed in the last 18 months that have enabled me see that it is possible to get through problems with b/fing without giving up and going onto formula (which is what happened to me .... lack of info and support)
HOWEVER ... it is no one's business but my own what I decide to do ... and if I choose to bottlefeed having had all the information that I now have then so be it and what's that got to do with anyone? I do not judge people for breastfeeding forever, nor do I judge people for bottle feeding from the start without breastfeeding at all .... it is not my business ...
AND ... I am beginning to dislike the term "Breastfeeding Nazi" intensely .... is there any chance that you could use another term???