Should I give up breastfeeding?

[Mirabelle77]

Will try and make it brief, pfb is 8 weeks old struggled to breastfeed until 3.5 weeks. He lost 12 % of weight so was scared he would go to hospital so started giving formula. He has now put on weight I have been expressing and giving breast milk in bottle as well as the formula. Since the start of the week been bf again and then giving formula but I know he is not getting much breastmilk due to the amount of formula he drinks.

I would love to bf exclusively as I had always planned. I have been taking Fenugreek and my current routine is bf both sides then give formula then pump any breastmilk and save in fridge I never seem to pump more than 30 ml when I was bf at start managed to get 60 ml so my milk has decreased.

I am also using nipple shields as he struggled to latch, I know its all about supply and demand so I keep him sucking even when there is no milk there but he gets frustrated so have to give bottle to placate so he is happy while i pump.

Does this sound like I should give up I wish I had never given formula now. :(

Most people are at the group because they are having problems, or will have had them at some point, so don't worry on these scores.

I have to be honest and say the 1st year group I went to wasn't a help, because I was in the minority breastfeeding. But the proper bf group was amazing, and there were probably more mums crying than babies at some point!! The advisors will have seen it all, don't worry, and can take you discreetly away to a corner if that suits you better!

And DROP THE HOUSEWORK!!

Thanks Caz , I hope it will be like that at the group, I thought it was more of a social group for bf mums but I have no clue?! Perhaps as I don't have anyone to speak to in rl I think I'm the only mum who can't bf properly. None of my friends have babies and my mum stopped bf me at 3 weeks. My MIL bf twins so she is like a superwoman but we are not that close for me to ask her anything , I also think she probably thinks I'm not giving her grandson the best start like she did for her babies.

My dh even did the nightfeed so I could express so I wasn't up for so long. Not managed the staying in bed skin to skin had to go to tesco and hoover everywhere. Also my dh will just think I'm lazy, he seems to think I should be back to normal now. If I don't clean up nobody else will either.

just a quick post to say you SHOULD talk to your mil, she's the perfect person to tell your dh that of course you shouldn't be back to normal yet! I don't imagine anyone bfs twins without some sort of struggle even if it was just getting the hoovering done between feeds! I think you might find her to be an as yet untapped source of support if you can find it in you to talk to her.

Tell your DH things are never going back to normal! Your most important job right now is looking after yourself and your baby.

Do you know who's running the bf group - is it an NHS group, or NCT, La Leche League? I went to a La Leche meeting and it was a mix of social (tea and chatting - mostly about breastfeeding problems/issues) and mums who had come with specific problems they needed help fixing. The group leader was a trained breastfeeding counsellor.

Hi mirabelle,

So sorry you are feeling lonely. It's so tough with a new baby you need people to talk to. Try to chat go the other mums at the clinic if you feel you can, you can always ask if anyone wants to meet up another day. In my experience most new mums are pretty much on their own and desperate to make new friends as all their old ones are at work all day. 8 weeks is still very new to everything and being a mum is SO hard, especially when they are tiny and you feel you are a big failure. It's such a shame you haven't been able to talk to other new mums because everyone really struggles in the early weeks. And I don't know anyone who found breast feeding easy to start off with - all the mums in my ante natal group talked about how unprepared we were for how terribly hard it is and how difficult we found it! It will get easier, if you go and get some support. All the breast-feeding peer supporters I have met and spoken to on the phone have been so kind and knowledgable and sympathetic, but most importantly they have helped!

Oh and no way should you be back to normal by now!

Good luck next week :-)

Hi Mirabella When I had DS 3 years ago I hardly knew anyone near my age locally. Thanks to the BF group 3 years on I have some wonderful friends that I met there. We all ended up feeding longer than any of us expected and I'm sure it's down to attending the group. I'm back going again now that I have DD. At our children's centre they will take you to a private room if you are struggling in the main room. But all the mums there will have some problems. Some may have advice the rest will definitely have empathy.

I found that one of the main reasons to not having enough milk is bad expressing machines. I went for a hire one (not cheap, £55 first month and £35 each following month) but god, was it amazing! my baby is 3 month a and I have lots of milk.
my problem is that I have not bf for 6 weeks and I would like to go back to it, but where do you start. people say you can do it, but my baby is now very aware of the bottle etc. and not interested in my breast. I have also been told to chuck the dummy, I managed to reduce it, but can not get rid of it completely without having nightmares at night, she is so used to it. Anyone who managed to got back to bf after a long time?

ronniponni - it might be easier to start your own thread so that you are the focus of it rather than lost at the bottom .

In the mean time to get you going - have you tried skin to skin or co-bathing with baby? It might help to get her used to being around your breast without any pressure, just lots of lovely cuddles and gentle stroking. I expressed and bottle fed (though it was mainly formula) with a little bit of bfing from day 2 until DD1 was 8 weeks and she was then bf until she was 3.6 years old. So it can happen with a lot of hard work and a bit of luck