Should I give up breastfeeding?

[Mirabelle77]

Will try and make it brief, pfb is 8 weeks old struggled to breastfeed until 3.5 weeks. He lost 12 % of weight so was scared he would go to hospital so started giving formula. He has now put on weight I have been expressing and giving breast milk in bottle as well as the formula. Since the start of the week been bf again and then giving formula but I know he is not getting much breastmilk due to the amount of formula he drinks.

I would love to bf exclusively as I had always planned. I have been taking Fenugreek and my current routine is bf both sides then give formula then pump any breastmilk and save in fridge I never seem to pump more than 30 ml when I was bf at start managed to get 60 ml so my milk has decreased.

I am also using nipple shields as he struggled to latch, I know its all about supply and demand so I keep him sucking even when there is no milk there but he gets frustrated so have to give bottle to placate so he is happy while i pump.

Does this sound like I should give up I wish I had never given formula now. :(

x-posts - don't go away!
For me, I fixed the positioning and talked to my local bf counsellor who reassured me that my milk was good enough.

Hope that helps!

sorry didn't get the link right here

Hi , been looking at the links thanks. I'm going to go for a bath and then express while the apprentice is on! I will think about calling a helpline, although nor sure which one. There is a breastfeeding group at the childrens centre do they give advice there or is it just to chat?

Good luck Mirabelle! BF can be so hard to start with, but you can crack it.

The reason people are giving the numbers etc is that honestly there is no substitute for real life support. The people from the BFN really, really helped me, I couldn't have BF without them. Do you know which organisation run the BF group? I think it would be great to go to it - and the chat helps just as much as the advice!

Breastfeeding groups are great, they do make you feel much less alone. Do you have a nurse led clinic somewhere near you? We have several here where they watch you and LO feeding and offer advice as to any changes you should make.

Hi mirabelle - I'm on the way to overcoming a similar problem and here's what worked for me:

• my DD (now 4wks) dropped nearly 10% as i had hardly any milk and ended up on formula. Like you I was advised by mw's to put her to the breast at every 3 hrly feed, try to get her to suck to stimulate, then feed formula and also express every 2 hrs - I could only get a few drops at first and cried every time.

• this wasn't bad advice but it was miserable and I couldn't see any progress so I went to see a BF counsellor who listened and suggested some other approaches - lots of skin to skin, co-bathing and even dripping formula onto my nipple for the baby to taste to encourage her to suck. We went home and tried it - all much more pleasant than the punishing expressing regime and so I dropped some of the expressing sessions, and went to bed with the baby instead.

• a MW also recommended a medical herbalist who gave me a tonic to increase milk production - this really worked and I found I could pump more almost overnight.

• once I had a bit more milk, DD latched on for a bit longer each time which helped my supply keep increasing, and now 2 weeks on she has 5 breastfeeds a day and 2 formula. It'd be nice to get all the way there but if not this will do.

So that's what worked for me - if you want to continue, I'd say find a way to change what you're doing so you feel better about it. That way you'll be more relaxed and it's more likely to work.

Also I'd really recommend calling a helpline - i spoke to the NCT and an NHS bf counsellor and neither said anything disapproving about using formula. If anyone does, just hang up and phone someone else.

I really hope it gets better for you but it's not the be all and end all if parenting - it's more important to enjoy the time with your baby and be a happy mum.

Apols for appalling grammar and typos - typing on an iPhone while expressing!

HTH - good luck!

Hi mirabelle - I'm on the way to overcoming a similar problem and here's what worked for me:

• my DD (now 4wks) dropped nearly 10% as i had hardly any milk and ended up on formula. Like you I was advised by mw's to put her to the breast at every 3 hrly feed, try to get her to suck to stimulate, then feed formula and also express every 2 hrs - I could only get a few drops at first and cried every time.

• this wasn't bad advice but it was miserable and I couldn't see any progress so I went to see a BF counsellor who listened and suggested some other approaches - lots of skin to skin, co-bathing and even dripping formula onto my nipple for the baby to taste to encourage her to suck. We went home and tried it - all much more pleasant than the punishing expressing regime and so I dropped some of the expressing sessions, and went to bed with the baby for skin to skin and biological nurturing (where baby basically finds the breast herself, stimulating but also following her instinct to latch i think)

• a MW also recommended a medical herbalist who gave me a tonic to increase milk production - this really worked and I found I could pump more almost overnight.

• once I had a bit more milk, DD latched on for a bit longer each time which helped my supply keep increasing, and now 2 weeks on she has 5 breastfeeds a day and 2 formula. It'd be nice to get all the way there but if not this will do.

So that's what worked for me - if you want to continue, I'd say find a way to change what you're doing so you feel better about it. That way you'll be more relaxed and it's more likely to work.

Also I'd really recommend calling a helpline - i spoke to the NCT and an NHS bf counsellor and neither said anything disapproving about using formula. If anyone does, just hang up and phone someone else.

I really hope it gets better for you but it's not the be all and end all if parenting - it's more important to enjoy the time with your baby and be a happy mum.

Apols for appalling grammar and typos - typing on an iPhone while expressing!

HTH - good luck!

Have you tried staying in bed with him all day? Stay topless, keep him close to your chest and allow him to feed all day if he wants to. Give formula if he gets hungry, but keep offering the breast all day (and night and next day if possible). If your breasts are stimulated it will help supply. Expressing is much harder, as they are only physically stimulated. When you express, do you hold him, or look at a picture of him?
Also, what pump are you using to express? Try to get hold of a really good electric (preferably hospital grade) one for a week or so, you will find that this really increases your supply.

Good luck. :)

ah, x posts!

hmm, i am not an expert, but have had some problems feeding.
fwiw i found, getting plenty of rest really did help, if you can get an hour or two nap in the day that would be good.
also found expressing exhausting and just demoralising. all that anxiety about how much you were expressing. i would gradually drop this if you can or much reduce it.
this sounds rubbish but night feeds are best to increase production, so plenty of those.
and just to let you know, i called a breastfeeding helpline once but my baby was screaming so loudly i couldn't hear the person on the other end!!
you have done really well to get to this point and your baby is getting plenty of benefit from waht you are doing - please don't feel bad.

Hi Mirabelle - I tried 2 helplines and they were not that helpful (unlucky I know), but I found going to a BF clinic brilliant.

They won't judge you, and they can see you feed so might be able to give you some on the spot tips. I really think that you getting out there will help.

I agree with what others have said about staying in bed and feeding, feeding, feeding. Also I could never express, but I did manage to up my supply and move to exclusive bm when I had used some formula.

Don't give up.

You can do it, you just need to get out there and see someone in person.

Lots of good posts on here.

I wish you every support to get through this.

Find bed uncomfortable to feed really but could get him under my dressing gown and get comfy on the sofa later. Will try and relax and enjoy cuddling as all I seem to do is the endless feeding routine in between housework with no time for playing or cuddles.

Drop the housework while trying to establish bf - try concentrating on this and only this for a few days & see how it works out. If the sofa is comfiest for you, stay there for your feeds - but if at all possible, get someone to advise about your latch with reference to where you end up settling yourself for feeds - I did want to feed in bed and needed to ask in detail how to best position myself and LO because all the advice would have been applicable to sitting in a seat otherwise. Get your DP to sleep in the spare room if necessary, too!

I never rang a helpline so don't know how that works, but I went to local baby cafés for specific bf advice and got the local la leche league rep to come round too. I really wanted to be able to have someone look at exactly what I was doing positioning-wise who could correct me as I went - some of the help I got seemed useful at the time but then I couldn't work out how best to apply it once I was back at home. It all did help, but it was a bit like each time I managed to improve one thing which made it at least a bit better, though not perfect, until on the n-th visit I got the last bit of advice that made it all click into place so that I felt much more able to do it.

Expressing was really hard and pretty thankless work, but doing a couple of days of expressing several times a day did help to get my supply up, though I think not everyone recommends that. It did mean that for a while I was either feeding or expressing or sterilising though! I've been able to drop expressing now which I'm glad of.

Your baby is still little enough that you can change the situation if you try, honestly. Getting the latch right has got to be the main thing and for that, expert advice specific to you is going to be key.

Hi. Hope you're feeling ok this morning. Loads of good advice. I would second that you should forget the housework apart from absolute necessities. Have you got a sling? I used to pop dd into a sling for the very very small amount of housework I did in the early days. The bf groups I went to before going back to work both included mums who mixed fed so that really shouldn't be an issue. The change of scene and the company should be a good thing and there is no substitute for getting someone to check your latch and advise you. Your routine sounds really punishing. I'm sure a real bf expert will have some other ideas that don't involve so much expressing. I really hope so for your sake. Hope this is a better day for you.

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Thanks for the advice I was having a really bad day yesterday. I will think about going to a bf group but I'm not sure I want loads of strangers to see me bf him with a shield when he is going mad and then me ff him. I imagine it's full of calm babies bf nicely and I wil be like a freak show. I know I sound a bit extreme but it's how I feel! Maybe I could try feeding him before so he won't need feeding at the group and just ask questions?

I've been to LLL meetings where women have been crying in pain while feeding their babies while the leader helps them to fix the latch and positioning - I'm sure you won't be a freak show at all.

I went to a local BF group but phoned beforehand to ask some qustions, the BF specialist midwife who ran the group set aside a separate room for me and spent an hour watching me attempt to feed and talking through solutions. My problem was getting him to learn his to latch as it didn't come naturally. I'm really glad my DH made me go as I wouldn't have done otherwise, and it saved BF for me.

I've seen tears, shields, supplementers and formula at bf group. I've attended with totally mashed nipples and had to feed through gritted teeth and then apply ointment and dressings to them. Honestly you won't be the only one struggling. Bf can be wonderful (and for me, now at 6 months, is lovely although she still chomps and grazes me on occasion and I get recurrent thrush because of my eczema) but is also bloody hard work. Like many aspects of being a mum I had no idea what I was letting myself in for and had crazy expectations of me and baby in some happy, blissful bubble. Seeing other mums who are knackered and having problems could be really good for you. But also if you do see someone who looks totally in control the chances are they are struggling underneath. We often judge how we feel on the inside with how others appear on the outside and find ourselves wanting. But, seriously nobody finds this business easy all the time.

Interesting article here about breastfeeding in Mongolia.

Sorry Mirabelle, wrong thread!

I hope you manage to bump up your supply enough to keep going. The sucking is doing something even if the feeding seems constant. Eventually your supply should match demand and feeds will take a lot less time.

Hi Mirabelle,

IN my experience everyone at the b-feeding clinic is there because they have some kind of problem. I really struggled to feed at the start (different issues to you) but I didn't want to call up the line or go to the group because I kind of felt like a failure and that I would cry and look stupid or something. I just wasn't thinking straight. I was using the shields as well and I felt really defensive about them and really didn't want to give them up.

Turns out the shields were contributing to the problem as they were slowing down how quickly she could eat. I finally called the line (when I felt ready and when I could manage without crying) and they gave some really good advice. Then I went along to a clinic with a friend and got even more advice. Breastfeeding went from a hideous, painful, protracted chore to (almost) a pleasure within a week. For me, getting the help was the best thing I've ever done. I'm still breastfeeding at 4 months and it's now a genuine pleasure (most of the time) but in the early weeks I HATED and resented it terribly. I'm so glad I got the help and I still call and attend the clinics whenever I get a niggly problem (there are still blips along the way even when breast feeding is established).

I really hope that hasn't made you feel worse! I'm hoping to give you the courage to go to the clinic. I know it feels really daunting to begin with

Thanks newmum. The bf group is next tues so I am going to go and see what it is like. I wish I had a friend to go with but we moved here in the summer so we don't know anyone. I did go to ante natal classes but nobody chatted at them . All my family and friends are a 4 hour drive away so I feel very lonely and my dh is out the house 12 hours a day. There is a group at the same centre tomorrow for under ones so I am going to that , it will be a start as I have avoided all these groups because of the bf issues.