Feeling terrible about mixed feeding - wanting to go back to bfing?

[planner26]

Hi, DD is now 12 days old. We started off bfing, which I was really keen on from the off. We left hospital after a day, with the midwives telling me she was feeding fine only to end up with severely cracked and bleeding nipples 4 days later - the pain was excruciating.

The midwives at the hospital never actually watched the latch, just my position. My midwife visited me at home for day 5 visit and watched the latch, confirming she wasn't latching on properly (just right onto my nipple). She told me how to do it, but by that point I was so exhausted (bad latch = feeding lasting about 50mins and having to go again 30 mins later) and still hadn't properly recovered from a 30 hour labour so I started to use my electric pump to express.

DP was not massively supportive of my bfing, and when I had problems he was very quick to go out and buy formula (also I guess all he saw was me so tired and in pain). I have been so upset since, crying every day (I kno hormones all over the place) at feeling like I've let down DD and disappointed/ like a bad mother.

I have been expressing about 8 times a day since, my nipples have nearly healed and I am thinking I would like to give bfing another go. Do you think this would be possible? I am expressing about 3 oz each time. Does anyone have any advice for me?

Thank you

Did you check for thrush? It sounds like that may cause the pain. It's important to get it treated properly if it is as it can become unbearably painful. Yet when killed off BFing suddenly becomes a dream!

Incidentally the reason that pasturising affects shelf life is that raw milk (of any species) is packed with antibacterial (and anti lots of nasty things) agents, many of which are killed during pasturisation. However, at the same time TB and other milk-born diseases are killed, which is why cow's milk is pasturised.

Raw milk has potent anti-nasties properties. One theory that the way that BM protects mums against cancer is that as it passes through the breast it destroys cancerous cells which are just starting to grow.

This isn't the only way that BM protects babies intestines though, as milk banks pasturise their donated milk and yet it still helps to protect the preemie babies who receive it by massively reducing the incidence of necrotising enterocolitis which preemies are extremely prone to getting (and it's one of the frequent killers of preemies).

Only looking in a baby's mouth as a last resort? I'm going to come over all Victor Meldrew! Why, FGS? it is hardly invasive to check for something that could make a huge difference if diagnosed and treated early.

Look for yourself: look for the white coating I described. If it is there then you must both be treated for thrush asap. Also, when she cries, look to see whether her tongue is attached to the bottom of her mouth. There should be some degree of attachment, however if her tongue doesn't curl up like a bowl at the front when she cries, then insist on having her mouth properly checked for tongue-tie.

Pain in the breasts between feeds can be another symptom of thrush. Can you described the pain?

But, TBH, I think the issue is positional. And the reason I think that is because you say feeding sitting up in bed is more uncomfortable than sitting up on a sofa. Also the mis-shapen nipple is a clue.

When you are learning to bf your own posture can be as important as the baby's. Once you've both got the hang of it then posture is less important as you learn what suits you and vary your technique to suit.

It is often easier to feed sitting fairly upright, with your back supported and your feet, knees and hips forming right-angles.

The mis-shapen nipple shows that dd is not taking enough of the breast into her mouth, and is therefore compressing the nipple instead of the areola.

Please call the bfing helplines tomorrow. They will be able to get a much clearer picture by having a conversation with you, and talk you through latching dd on, telling you what to look for, and so on. The supporters on the phone are all mums who have breastfed and have been trained as breastfeeding supporters.

Have you tried feeding lying down?

i have had been suffering with mastitis over the weekend, finally saw drs on monday but been really poorly with it. yet another reason for DP to argue against bfing, which is annoying.

felt a bit better today so went up to see the feeding coordinator at the hospital. she was really good and i managed to feed her really well with her help. since i've been home though i just can't seem to do it myself, it's so disappointing.

i haven't tried any other positions, the FC said that the problem that i had would occur wherever i held her.

just wish it wasn't the holidays as i could go back and see her, but she's not going to be in again until jan 3rd.

if i get mastitis again i think DP will pretty much demand FF and don't know if i've got the energy if i get it again as bad to say no.

Goodness you've really been through the mill haven't you :(

I can't really offer much advice as you've had great advice already, but one thing I woudl say is don't let your OH demand you ff, it has to be your decision to stop bf if you want to! If he makes you stop you could end up feeling really horrible about it and towards him.

The only other advice I will give is don't be afraid to unlatch your dd as many times as you think necessary to get the latch right.

Sorry, Planner, I missed this.

Anger is rarely helpful, so I apologise in advance, but I feel utterly at what that FC has been telling you.

She is undermining you! Please don't go back to her. Please please talk to the breastfeeding charities. They really do know what they are talking about, and what's more they know how to support a woman without scaring her.

", the FC said that the problem that i had would occur wherever i held her". This is complete nonsense! If your pain and mastitis are caused by the baby's latch, ie the position in which she takes the breast, then of course changing that position can help.

The most likely other causes of the pain are tongue-tie and thrush, both of which can be quickly and easily checked for. I can't understand why nobody has done this yet.

What is happening around you tomorrow? Are you expected to cook or host?