Woman stopped from breastfeeding her child in a (men’s) clothes shop!!

[clary]

what do you reckon to this? breastfeeding story

yep Joolstoo this one will run and run... or something.
in fact, I can see why other people might not want to see me breastfeed, just like I can see that other people might not want to see my birth ravaged body in a swimsuit on the beach, but crucially I truly could not give a f*.... because someone else's finer sensibilities over something so trivial absolutely pale next to the hunger of my baby
I'm sure I used to be a nicer person before I was a mother. and a mnetter...

I was at my local Health Clinic getting baby weighed etc. There were about 20 or so mothers sitting around in chairs waiting their turn. I had to feed DD so out came the boob and baby was fed. The row in front of me had a family of about 3 adult women.

When a woman in the row in front of them also had to Bfeed baby the group of women started nudging each other and pointing at her. They were clearly disturbed. They could see nothing! The woman had her back to them and was very discrete anyway. They obviously hadn't seen me else they would have been traumatised.

On the subject of my mother not approving of breastfeeding. When my sister was breasfeeding her young baby she needed to go to the shops so my Mum looked after her DS. Having spent the week prior to this telling my sister that her baby was 'starving' she gave the baby a bottle while my sister was out without her consent. I wouldn't mind but her mother (my grandmother) breastfed her 9 children. I think one of the issues my Mother has is the association with poverty.

How embarrassing...just signed the petition link below only to be told that I have already signed it before. I fed in a Waitrose cafe today and no-one batted an eyelid - I even got an, 'Aww, how lovely!' from one old lady.

I don't know if I was a nicer person before I became a mother and found mumsnet, but mumsnet has certainly expanded my range of things to be 'assertive' about...

Eaney! I'd have been livid if anyone had given DS a bottle!

There seems to be a whole generation of women who were told that science had sorted out feeding babies for them and there was no need for them to worry their pretty little boobs with it. And breastmilk was often seen as a choice women had forced upon them through not being able to afford formula.

harpsi - hallelujah!

that's all I'm saying - I can see why some people would be uncomfortable and now another mner can too! - the fact that you don't care? I don't blame you!

Oh, JT, if that's all you wanted, let me make your night

I can see why some people might not want to see it too. I just think they can bugger off

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Socci, love that you clarified which post you mean after my last one

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thankyou hunker - as ever

Spidermama

I had a similar experience to yours. While I was breastfeeding my baby in my GP's surgery, a receptionist asked me (ever so politely and yet I had the distinct feeling that she disapproved) if I "would like a private room to do THAT". I said I was happy where I was, thank you. You would have thought the one place where you could breastfeed was in a GP's surgery!

savanna

To be absolutely frank I don't think I'll be bfing dd2 when she's born, for a number of reasons, but none of these reasons are to do with bfing in public. When I was pg with dd1 and quite adamant that I would bf, I was actually looking forward to bfing at MIL and FIL's house in their front room just to get on FIL's wick as he doesn't like it. My SIL who had kids before me used to have to go upstairs to bf.

I think one problem people have is that it was so 'unfashionable' in the 50s and 60s, in that it was not encouraged and that's the generation many of our parents belong to. I also agree with the poster who said they thought their mum associated it with being poor. It's all very bizarre.

JT,

While I can appreciate that some people may not like to see a breastfeeding mum breastfeed, when I am out and about it is me and my baby I'm interested in, not the opinion of someone I've never met before and am unlikely to see again.

If my baby's hungry I'm going to feed him, not let him cry while I find somewhere discreet just incase someone may not like it.

Last week I fed DS3 in Marks and Spencer on the main floor. Don't know if this particular store had a mother and baby room as I don't go to that town often. Anyway, it was pouring with rain outside and DS3 was screaming his head off. I had left a small mobile phone shop as I would have felt awkward feeding there, and M&S was only a couple of doors down and I knew there were some seats near the door. One woman asked me if I was feeding and was really nice about it. There was no way I was going to trudge the streets just incase someone didn't like it. The nearest Mother and Baby room I could think of was a good 5 minute walk, in the rain, and not only that but it is upstairs. And DS3 was really yelling.

Anyway, what is there to see anyway. Baby's mouth is over the important bit!

Mandy.

Surely one of the major advantages of a baby, is that you don't have to remove them to a specific venue to feed them, whether you do that by breast or by bottle (or funny American nork-cup)? When they're older and they start whinging about being hungry, you have to actually go somewhere socially acceptable, where it doesn't matter if they drop sandwich crumbs/ chips/ organic asparagus tips on the floor. But when it's just milk, the chief advantage is that their dining-space is wherever they happen to be at that time.

Ah, those were the days...

Moomin, why not, if you don't mind me asking?

stardoman - good post, I completely agree.

My ONLY point is that we should understand each others viewpoint - we don't have to agree, just take the point on board.

I say again, I don't have a problem with bf in public myself.

If, I have problem its this - I'm a Libran - I can always see both sides!

most clothes stores have chairs, or a sofaa, or something like that next to, or in the changing rooms. perfect for feeding babies.
and a shawl/scarf/towel will cover everything up.

Thanks for missing me Gdg - I have been around, just not posting much. Usually I post prolificly when at work, but actually have been quite busy in the office lately...

Stitch I love your previous post: "what i find offensive is the amoount of breast tissue i have to see oin the summer. none of it belonging to feeding moms "

• couldn't agree more!

and I see your point JT - I can understand why some people are uncomfortable with public breastfeeding - however I still think they need to get over it! Bless you - you'll never live down your nose picking analogy lol

I fed dd in lloyds pharmacy the other day sitting on a chair waiting for a prescription. They were very nice and made me welcome and even came round the counter to tuck the bag in the pram for me to save me getting up. I asked them in Asda whether i could leave my trolley (unpaid for) at the info desk while I found somewhere to feed - she asked me 'breast or bottle?' and when I said breast she directed me to 'the baby feeding room' - I was impressed and headed off there only to find it was still only the same old baby CHANGING room, where did she expect me to sit, on the toilet? I went into their cafe instead and am now a regular there, can't tell what the staff think they just blank me. Nicest experience recently was in Starbucks when someone else came in and started feeding at the table next to me at the same time. Have to say I have had several positive words of encouragement (mostly from older people) and no direct criticism or anti-comment...I only really feel self-conscious when there are groups of teenagers around because I fear that if they are not used to seeing breastfeeding mums they might make comments - but this has never actually happened.

I love seeing babies being fed, it looks so beautiful and makes me feel very broody! Always takes me back to the time when mine were tiny. So if you are out, feeding your baby and you see a short, fat, hairy woman gazing, slightly glassy eyed, at you, it's not a pervert, it's me and I am taking a trip down memory lane. So don't punch me!

WHY is breastfeeding such a big issue? That's what they are for, for god's sake! I blame men (but then I blame them for everything!) But seriously, it is the objectification of women and the idea that the function of every part of a woman's body is the titilation of men. (and I don't seriously blame men btw, it's more a media and some people thing!).

We need to move away from the over sexualisation of our society. Even pop music videos are now nothing more than pornography with a drum machine. And WHY is it always women thrusting their chest and genitals into the camera? These women need to get some pride, throw on some clothes and say sod off, thrust your own, I am more than a hunk of meat!

OMG need to stop now, I am going off on one and it is far too early!!

Mytwopenceworth,

Those are my thoughts entirely!

I used to be a shameless breastfeeder, I didn't think anything of feeding in shops etc.

I did however feel funny about feeding in church. (Which is strange because I don't think God would have minded, do you?) The other problem I had was that feeding nearly always made ds do an incredibly smelly (and noisy) nappy which I really don't think is acceptable in a crowded place of worship when it is tricky to discreetly leave .

I can understand that some people are uncomfortable/embarrassed by breast-feeding - but I honestly believe that is their problem. The only way things will change is for Mums feeding in public to become commonplace - you still don't see it very often. I fed my two all over the place - cafes, parks, shopping centres and never received a single comment, not even a dodgy look. Sadly, I know that's not the case for every feeding Mum. We shouldn't be forced into toilets and baby changing rooms (unless you feel more comfortable there yourself) by some peoples' bizarre attitudes. I really hope that by the time I have grandchildren (I hope I have grandchildren!) they can be breast-fed anywhere without anyone batting an eyelid - but that won't happen if we don't challenge some peoples' archaic attitudes to breast feeding. They need to get over it - it's the 21st centry for goodness' sake.

I was going to write there's no need to BF in a shop and there's always somewhere better but then remembered i did this while waiting for a friend to get his contact lenses. It's never crossed my mind to use a clothes changing room.