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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Why the belief that breast milk is not enough for bigger babies

41 replies

JamieJay · 09/11/2010 17:25

I will freely admit this is a rant!

12wo DD is a big girl, 8lbs15 at birth and 18lbs when last weighed at 10 weeks.

She is totally breastfed and is gaining above the 99.6th percentile on it so it obviously suits her - this gain is despite her having a cows milk protein intolerance that took us 7 weeks to identify!

So why does the world and it's grandmother keep coming out with comments such as

  • they're surprised I'm managing to keep breastfeeding 'such a big baby'
  • the fact I'll need to introduce formula top-ups soon, or
  • the need to wean early as she won't be satisfied on milk alone.

I realise that some people do struggle with breastfeeding but why this belief that a totally healthy but big baby needs more!!

Sorry Blush rant over, I'd just love to understand why people think this way.

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 09/11/2010 17:29

I don't know. I think there's an incredulity both ways. Just a disbelief that a baby can survive on milk alone for 6 months regardless. I had a dd born on the 50th and off the charts by 12 weeks. She was 25lbs, maybe a bit more when she had her first solids. She was thriving. I got the same comments. But then SIL had a tiny baby who was on the 0.4th centile and she was told that she obviously couldn't survive on bm alone either and needed more.

None of it makes any sense.

Bucharest · 09/11/2010 17:29

I suppose in the olden days Grin when people stuck to 4 hr routines then probably a bigger baby wouldn't have been satisfied by breastmilk....so all the grannies might be thinking along those lines.

Or they've bought into the Hungry Baby Milk shite.

Obviously they aren't able to make the glaringly obvious connection that your baby is growing more than adequately because of your milk!

EdgarAirbombPoe · 09/11/2010 17:30

If she was small, the exact same things would be said.

ayjayjay · 09/11/2010 17:32

I don't know why people think this way but it is a very common belief.

I've got a friend who stopped breastfeeding at 2 weeks because her "baby was big so she couldn't keep up with supply".

I think people are generally just a little bit ignorant of the facts around breastfeeding and how supply adjusts to what is required regardless of size.

ShowOfHands · 09/11/2010 17:33

Yes, maybe frequent feeding is the problem and that happens in babies of all sizes.

DH's grandma still says all the time what an unhappy baby dd was. Well she never cried, she laughed, smiled, giggled, was so very content. When I challenge her on this she says 'but she wanted milk all the time, some days it was every couple of hours, she was never happy at all'. So she clearly thought that the 2hrly feeding was due to some inherent problem as opposed to utterly normal. Still irks because dd was just so happy.

belgo · 09/11/2010 17:36

I don't know but you'll find that not only do some people believe that it's impossible to breastfeed a large baby, but also that if the baby is small, they won't make enough milk for the baby to put on weight fast enough.

It is very frustrating , my friend couldn't bf her first baby because he was too big at just under nine pounds, and she couldn't bf her second baby because he was too small at 6 and a half pounds.

EdgarAirbombPoe · 09/11/2010 17:41

i took DD2 to be weighed for the first time in a while.

and no-one gave me bad BF advice. I was most disappointed. I'd been all ready to spout a bunch of facts from Mumsnet..

yama · 09/11/2010 17:44

The power of marketing.

My 12 week old boy is big. At the back of my mind in the early days I wondered if I could feed him myself.

I too have had many comments about how frequently I'm feeding him. I do feel like telling people who insinuate I'm over-feeding him to eff off.

jandmmum · 09/11/2010 18:13

I had the same crap spouted at me with DS who was on 0.4th centile despite being happy and alert. He's only about 28lbs at 3yrs. Carried on regardless and thankfully then found a better HV who is now HV for DD.

jaggythistle · 09/11/2010 18:30

I got the same too and my DS wasn't even big!

My FIL was worried that he'd need real food soon as he was getting to be a big boy at about 4/5 months. Yeah, and he grew that big on just the milk so he is probably ok...

MIL was wondering if I had tried him with any food at 15 weeks Hmm

Even my Mum was convinced he'd magically sleep better as soon as he was not on just milk.

Also visited an 8 week old recently whose Mum had decided she couldn't keep up as he was quite big. She was annoyed that he wanted another bottle after less than a couple of hours though, so probably wasn't having a much easier time with the formula. Sad

No wonder so many people don't have confidence and worry unneccessarily about the quality or quantity of milk they are producing.

(Note: I know some people do have problems, but a lot of worries are caused by unrealistic expectations and 'helpful' family comments etc)

Original poster
JamieJay · 09/11/2010 18:32

Starting to wonder if the ignorance around breastfeeding will ever be solved.... obviously if there is a problem it needs to be addressed but why only look at size / weight when making these judgements about babies.

To be fair to my HV she hasn't given me any duff advice when it comes to breastfeeding.

OP posts:
5DollarShake · 09/11/2010 18:33

DD was 9lb 4oz at birth. She is 13 weeks now and 98th centile. Exclusively breastfed. I haven't had a single comment along these lines
,

And there are no issues witty my supply - quite the opposite. When she starts to feed, I hat to take her off straight after let down and have a muslin soak up the milk that comes pouring out too fast for her to drink.

Just gees to show that if you put baby to the breast whenever s/he wants feeding in the early days to establish your supply, your supply will meet the demand of your baby, no matter how big.*

*This assumes no other problems with breastfeeding - I am just commenting on supply/demand, not on ability to b/f in the first place. :)

5DollarShake · 09/11/2010 18:36

Sorry for typos!

Guitargirl · 09/11/2010 18:55

Just ignore. I had the same comments re DS who was 9lbs, 6 oz at birth. I exclusively bf him till 6 months and stopped eventually at 20 months. He fed much less frequently than his sister who was smaller but seemed to constantly graze.

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 09/11/2010 20:11

I'm sure that in politics of bf she says that around 40% of bf women switch from bf to formula as they believe they are unable to satisfy their baby.

And the same proportion of ff women switch between brands of formula as, yes, you guessed it, they don't believe their baby is satisfied.

Sad

On a side note does anyone know what hungry baby formula is? Does it have more calories?

cinnamongreyhound · 09/11/2010 20:43

DS1 was 8lb 12 at birth and quickly moved to above the 98th centile, it was never suggested that I couldn't feed him as I had a LOT of milk but I agree that everyone said I would have to wean him early. I decided to start at 5 1/2 months as I was going back to work and wanted to know there were things he'd eat when I sent him to the childminder but it wasn't a huge amount. DS2 was 9lb 2 but now at 8 weeks is much smaller than his brother at this age, feeding from one side instead of both but is gaining weight well. I must admit I do feel a bit anxious when he's weighed, so I think it's definitely easier having a bigger baby!

MaeMobley · 09/11/2010 20:47

I completely sympathise OP. I got the sam grief, especially from my MIL. DS and DD were over 11lbs and fed a lot.

suzikettles · 09/11/2010 20:52

Hungry baby milk is casein rather than whey based and harder for the baby to digest - hence possibly making them feel full for longer.

It's basically an older formula recipe. The manufacturers started making their "first" milks whey based to more closely immitate breast milk.

No extra calories - technically some babies on hungry baby milk will actually be getting fewer calories if it suceeds in making them feed less frequently.

Greythorne · 09/11/2010 20:54

Because lots of some people just don't know what they're talking about, when it comes to bfing.

I have heard:

  • oh, he was such a big baby at birth, he really didn't need nreastmilk, he wouldn't have been satisfied on BM alone

AND

  • Oh, she was so premature, I just knew breastfeeding wouldn't work because I wanted to be sure she was getting enough and I needed to see how much she was getting.

Go figure.

And ignore and just do your own thing. You are doing brilliantly.

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 09/11/2010 20:58

Thank you suzy Grin

izzybiz · 09/11/2010 21:00

My ds2 was 10lb 10oz, and while I didn't bf him I also got all the comments about how I'd need to wean him early.

I was feeding him at a farm when he was 5 days old (we had taken our DD out as a treat)
A woman came over and asked how old he was, when I told her he was 5 days she replied 'wow hes a big one! I know someone who had a baby that size and had to start them on baby rice at 10 days old' Shock and Hmm

Woodlands · 09/11/2010 21:42

It's weird isn't it? I get the same comments about my 16 week DS - my DH's gran is convinced we'll need to wean early. He isn't showing even the faintest sign yet of being ready for weaning - I can't imagine he'll be ready for another 10 weeks at least.

Even the HV said, when she talked to me as I BF DS, "Well done for breastfeeding - it's not easy with such a big boy". Is it really any harder than BFing any other sized baby?

Mind you, it is a bit of a running joke amongst my friends and family that he is ALWAYS plugged into my boob...

QueenFizzBangPoppingEverything · 09/11/2010 22:37

YY I get this all the time.

DS is 13 weeks, dunno what he weighs now, but he was 9lb 15 at birth and 3-6 month clothes are a tight fit now.

The mums at school are incredulous (except the one who is doing BFC training Grin)

'Oh I bet he takes some feeding - I couldn't keep up with X and he was not as big' (er, actually DS feeds for 5-10 minutes at a time every 3 hours or so, far less than 7lb DD who fed for years hours on end)

'Boys eh - you'll never get him off the boob!' (WTF?)

'You're not feeding him yourself are you? Goodness...' (Indeed I am, DP being strangely reluctant to attempt lactation)

5DollarShake · 10/11/2010 01:49

I wonder what vibes I am sending out that I don't get the comments...?! Hmm Grin

It is incredible though, the misconceptions around breastfeeding - goes a long say towards explaining why the UK is such much a formula culture.

And, to be honest, shows the 'Breast is Best ' campaign doesn't work, as it doesn't go even remotely far enough in educating people, providing support and, crucially, reassurance around all the.perceived 'hurdles' of b/feeding that aren't hurdles at all - just a normal part of it.

Like - your supply will meet the demand. If you don't have faith in this, then it's easy to see how any tiny doubt will be enough to set you on the path to giving up.

mollycuddles · 10/11/2010 05:14

I don't know anyone who hasn't stopped bf or topped up within 6 weeks and I know a few people who've had babies this year. No one quite believes me that my thriving, gorgeous 24 week daughter is ebf and not on solids yet. I get asked at least one more time after I say so just in case they've heard me wrong. Then it's all "wow. I didn't produce enough milk to bf" etc etc