Why the belief that breast milk is not enough for bigger babies

[JamieJay]

I will freely admit this is a rant!

12wo DD is a big girl, 8lbs15 at birth and 18lbs when last weighed at 10 weeks.

She is totally breastfed and is gaining above the 99.6th percentile on it so it obviously suits her - this gain is despite her having a cows milk protein intolerance that took us 7 weeks to identify!

So why does the world and it's grandmother keep coming out with comments such as

• they're surprised I'm managing to keep breastfeeding 'such a big baby'
• the fact I'll need to introduce formula top-ups soon, or
• the need to wean early as she won't be satisfied on milk alone.

I realise that some people do struggle with breastfeeding but why this belief that a totally healthy but big baby needs more!!

Sorry rant over, I'd just love to understand why people think this way.

Big babies are hard to BF, they're so bloody heavy to hold in position . I've just struggled to haul 12 week -I don't know how big as we haven't seen a HV in 6 weeks, but filling 3-6 month clothes, maybe 16-18lb?- DS out of his cot for second breakfast!

I had that too..

Like there were no big babies when ALL babies were EBF..

And breathe..

Both my babies were smallish, and my MW friend said that in her opinion, if anything smaller babies feed even more often because they have more catching up to do, to get bigger. Makes sense to me.

And a big baby, on BF only, is clearly thriving on the breastmilk. So it is all nuts IMHO.

If we were just given more info about how healthy and normal it is to feed frequently, cluster feed, growth spurts etc, maybe we wouldn't doubt ourselves so easily.

Speakimg as someone who starting topping up DC1 at 7 weeks for the same reasons, but is now still feeding DC2 at almost 2 yrs and I am now a peer supporter and learned a lot between babies. I so wish I had known then what I know now - I try not to feel guilty but I know I made the wrong decisions back then.

But I didn't know. I do now.

Also need to vent here... my Dad thinks I'm a terrible mother for depriving DD of solids. She's 75th centile, lovely & chubby and generally a very happy baby... obviously thriving (in fact even strangers in supermarkets often comment how healthy looking she is!).

Last time he saw her (a month ago, so she was 4 months) he suggested I give her sugar on a spoon! When I looked aghast, he modified it to 'icing sugar' and said she'd love it!

Oh any time she gets grumbly he attributes it to the fact that I'm eating or was eating in front of her and she wants some.

My sister whose a mother of 3 under 11 was shocked that I hadn't let DD 4 months have a peice of chocolate yet!

I DD was breastfed exclusively for 6 months and I continued to feed her up to 9 months, with no problems at all.

However, I've just had a baby boy 5 weeks ago (born at 8lbs 2oz) and I simply cannot keep up with his demand for food and have to top up with formula. I can express 8oz of breastmilk from both breasts, so when he feeds from me he gets this and is STILL HUNGRY - nothing more is coming out of me, so I simply have to give him a little formula.

I'm gutted, feel inadequate, that I'm a failure - however, that's a whole other thread!

hugebelly I felt like that when my ds was about 5 weeks (he's 10 weeks now). He was 8lb 13oz at birth and went through a big growth spurt at about 5-6 weeks. He'd feed all evening, I'd feel totally empty but he'd still want more. Even when you feel empty though they are still getting milk, just more slowly, as your breasts produce it as they feed. Plus, letting them suck on an 'empty' breast sends the message to your body to produce more milk so in a day or so your supply will have increased to meet the demand.
Please don't feel guilty - it's incredibly hard work especially at that age.
The way I got through it was to feed feed feed until I couldn't feed any more, then get DH to take him from me and distract him for a bit to give my boobs a chance to recover and fill up a bit more. It's a lot easier now though I'm dreading the next growth spurt!
If he's gaining weight, looking well and pooing and weeing plenty then I wouldn't worry x

Good advice marzipanimal

Keep going Hugebelly! You can do it. I truly believe half the battle with bf is knowing you can do it.

Just keep feeding!

Hv just weighed ds, who's hit 91st at 12 week, born on 50th, and told me I would be weaning early. How much faster does she want him growing?

Totally agree with ghoulishglendawhingesagain - information on frequent feeding, cluster feeding, growth spurts would be so much more useful than just saying that breastfeeding is good. And a lovely bonding experience.

Thanks to MN I had faith and carried on. And my DSIL telling me "Yes, it is fucking difficult!"

I know it isn't hard for everyone but I think so many women give up because they think this can't be right. Esp with your 1st they seem so vulnerable and its tempting to listen to outdated advice about 'benefits' of FF.

She told you you'd be weaning early? Nice!

Keep going Hugebelly! It will be okay

Had a really nice surprise today.

Appointment with dietician (DD has suspected cows milk protein intolerance) who recommended I keep with EBF until 6 months and then, if I could manage it, keep breastfeeding until at least 8 months whilst weaning her.

She did offer me a prescription for nutri-sometheing to mix with food when I do start weaning but said that it would be even better is I could express breastmilk.

Was so nice to deal with a health professional who wasn't trying to undermind breastfeeding.

I was told by a Midwife that my 9lb DS1 would be too big to excusively breastfeed and that I would have to top him up. When I said that I didn't want to do that she said "oh do you have enough milk for him then?" - he was two days old and my milk hadn't even come it yet! It annoys me that we were given so little support beyond "Oh he's big top him up" in the weeks that followed. I was able to keep exclusively breastfeeding, mainly just through determination to prove them wrong!, but it was a struggle and there were many days when I felt like giving up. However I truely believe that our problems were due to lack of support not his size, especially as I have subsequently fed two more big babies (one even bigger than DS1!) with no problems at all.

I had a baby born at 34 wks, 3lb6 who I exbf for 6 months before begining to introduce solids. He went from below the bottom centile line to the 75th centile, purely on breastmilk I had battles with everyone about this from the hospital - home. He would definately need a fortifier added to my milk? He would definately need a formula top-up??? They didn't even want to give us a chance (so it seemed). But I stuck to my guns and fed him A LOT!

Baby no2 was born at 40wks, 6lb13, 9th centile. Exbf again, shot straight up to the 98th centile within wks. Then all I was told was how my milk would NEVER be enough for him etc etc, he would need to be weaned onto solids etc. I ignored all advice and bf on demand, started introducing solids at 6 months. Then I was told to start restricting his bf to 2 a day, and just 3 meals, no snacks?!! At 7 mo!! Again I just fed on demand.

Both are very healthy, average weight, v active toddlers. And I am so glad I followed my instinct. I feel my own HV has extremely poor knowledge of bf. However, I do know there are excellent HV's out there, I just wish I had one

DC3 due soon, so will be interesting to see what pearls of wisdom they give me this time

Agree that better education about the mechanics of bf would be helpful!

I was reading about someone the other day whose DS2's 6 week growth spurt meant that he fed for pretty much 72 hours without stopping. (Apparently as a toddler he wanted to do something similar when his molars were coming through.) If you know things like that are normal, it's so much easier.

hugebelly, often the growth spurts and fussy spells are about the need for comfort as well as the need for milk. Hang in there and keep feeding as much as you can - it will get better. :)