Worried about my baby. Please advise, I'm scared.

[FeelLikeTweedleDee]

Maybe this is the insecurity that lurks in most BFing mums speaking, but I'm worried about my baby. She's 3 months old. 3 weeks ago I cut out all her formula top-ups (she'd normally have about 5oz per night because I couldn't express enough for DH to be able to relieve me of some night time feeds).

2 weeks ago I had her weekly weigh in and she had not gained any weight at all (a first for her, although her weight gain has never been great. She gained only 1oz one week). The HV did not seem concerned.

But I was of course. I saw the doctor who said that she could not prescribe anything to boost supply "because my prolactin levels were not low". So in desperation I went on Fenugreek and pumped inbetween feedings and this has now appeared to increase my supply from 3oz to 5oz per pumping session. Also I can feel my breasts filling up sooner.

I haven't weighed my baby since. Partly because the book says you should only weigh them monthly, but mostly because I'm very scared. The thought of getting her weighed and finding out in cold, hard numbers that I'm a failure despite my best efforts, makes me feel panic.

So why am I scared despite an apparent increase in supply? Well, my mind could be playing tricks on me but:

She doesn't have a chubby tummy like I see most babies having.

I can feel her ribs when I run my finger across her chest.

When positioning her at the breast I can feel her shoulder blades at the back.

Her feeds last a very long time still (40mins-1hour)

Am I STARVING her in an attempt to stay exclusive? I'm a first time mum and I don't know a single soul who breastfeeds and my HCPs are appauling in their knowledge of breastfeeding. You are the only people I can ask for advise. I'll answer any questions you have if you need more info.

Hi. I'm sure someone with more knowledge will be along in a minute, but in the meantime I didn't want your post to go unanswered! I really think weekly weigh-ins are a bad idea, unless your baby has particular health needs. If your GP and HV are not too concerned, and your baby seems happy in herself then there's probably no need to worry - if she needs more milk she will tell you (loudly!). Is there a local breastfeeding support group you could go to?

Extra info:

She has a sopping wet nappy every 6 hours (sooner than that and I wouldn't call it 'sopping' just wet). She hasn't had a poo in 10 days though.

Her accurate age is 3 months, 1 week, 4 days.

I can't advise on your own baby but I would say two things - firstly that pumping is no indication of what you're actually producing. So you're making more than 5oz every however many hours! And most importantly that if your baby is content and producing plenty of wet nappies and some dirty ones then it's very unlikely there's a problem. Why don't you phone one of the helplines and talk it through with a counsellor? Have your red book to hand so they can reassure you about her weight. As for weighing her again, you don't have to weigh her at all, but in your case it might put your mind at rest :)

Your in the right place. Congrats on DD. OK forget weigh in's. Does she have lots of wet and dirty nappies. In modern nappies wet can be hard but have the nappy you took off in one hand and clean in the other. If the old is heavier she has gone to the loo. (In neonatal they weight them!) Now long feeds are not unusal. What is her behoviour like after a feed? Does she seem sleepy / contend? If so she would probably be full.

Now for help. I don't where you live but there should be a support group. Goggle your area and breastfeeding support OR announce here and someone should tell you where one is.

Plus look at www.kellymom.com/
www.breastfeeding.com/helpme/helpme_videos/video_informational.html

Hope this OK.

TDD - thanks. What if I weigh her and she's lost? :( It would be a push to formula? Despite my concerns my DD has been EBF for 3 weeks now (we even got her through the 3 month growth spurt on breastmilk alone. I'm quite proud of that). I fear that if she's lost my mind will go crazy, I'll assume I'm starving her and head for formula. :(

mrspear - I've just fed her now. She came off the boob on her own accord after about 30 minutes of feeding. She's now lying smiling on the pillow next to me. She loves sticking her hands in her mouth and smacking her lips at all times though. Hunger or the start of teething?

No, it definitely doesn't sound as if you are starving her or that you have any supply issues at all. I am more worried about you than your baby to be honest, you sound very very anxious. Apart from this anxiety about feeding are you ok? To try and put your mind at rest - no weight gain at 3 months sounds ok to me, at this age their weight gain does slow down, its perfectly normal especially over the course of just a week. Expressing is never a good indicater of supply and getting 3oz out sounds v good to me, its certainly more than I can manage and I have ample supply and loads of practice. You baby will prob be able to get much more out than that. I can feel the ribs/shoulder blades on my 4 month old and she is a big 75th centile baby. I can also feel them on my 90th centile 3 year old so I can only conclude this is perfectly normal. Is your baby alert, content, doing plenty of wet and dirty nappies? These are all good indicators of whether she is thriving. Take care of yourself, you sound as if you are in need of some tlc OP.

Look at it this way. If she's lost weight then it confirms there's a problem and at least you can then address it. You'd need professional advice about whether that would involve giving formula - it might not. But on the other hand if she's gained then you have reassurance and can hopefully have a bit more faith in your body to do this!

My bet is that everything's FINE, but your level of anxiety is not, so you do need to reassure yourself by getting good advice from a counsellor :)

Sorry just realised it's only a fortnight since she was weighed. In that case I'd get BFC advice first then weigh her if that's what's suggested, otherwise leave it until a month.

Hiya I am currently breastfeeding my second child, she is a skinny wee thing compared to my first who though also breastfed was a big bruiser!
She only just doubled her birthweight at 8 months.
She is happy, bright and alert, u would know if you were starving your baby, honestly.

As the others said, pumping is no real indicator, you are just making much harder work for yourself, stop it

The no poo in 10 days is pretty normal when breastfeeding.

On the feeding for an hour, my first was like that, this wee girl is soooo quick, they are all different.
Are there any breastfeeding support groups in your area.

Tweedle I am NOT an expert but I do feel that she would let you know if she was hungry. Her feed times and wet nappies sound normal to me, poo on the long side of normal, but still normal.

You have put in a lot of effort to reestablish ebf because it carries bennefits and I wuld suggest youu find RL support for this before HPC's advise formula. It sounds like those youu know have already knocked youur confidence and this is showing now. [hsad] And don't weigh.

Hope you get the reassurance you need.

She's now lying smiling on the pillow next to me. She loves sticking her hands in her mouth and smacking her lips at all times though. Hunger or the start of teething?

Probably neither she maybe just likes the noise or the taste of her hands.

Are you getting out and about with her?

Not got much time to respond, but the answer from mrspear is spot on.

Forget the weighing. That's something that is part of the weigh out the formula powder / add the correct amount of water / weigh your baby routine.....breatfed babies just don't fit into this picture.

Think along the lines of how your baby is, not how much she weighs.

Is she fussy? If so, might still be hungry, but if not, probably fine and full.

Is she having lots of wet and pooey nappies?

Does she fall asleep on the boob? For prem or very little babies, they can fall asleep at the boob without having eaten enough, but if your baby falls asleep and stays asleep for a couple of hours, then she probably is full.

Is her head growing in circumference?

Is she growing in length?

Are you small or is the Daddy small?

All these things are better indicators of a healthy breastfed baby. Weighing is not always a good indicator at all, so avoid obsessing using it as a yardstick.

Good luck. It sounds like you are a loving and attentive mum and you will work out the best way to give your what she needs.

she seems hungry again now. shes back at the boob

MFM - Yes I fear that formula is the first thing HCP will advise :( Even one of the so-called breastfeeding counsellors advised it in the past when she was only 1 month old and there was no signs of weight loss (because my left breast was only getting a dribble out with the pump). So angry at that now. But what can you do? I dont trust HCP at all.

My DS eats his hands all the time, but you put him to the breast and he's not interest, try and give him a bottle and he doesn't want that either. I think they just like putting things in there mouth.

How often is she feeding? If your worried, you could try putting her to the breast more often, if she's hungry she'll drink and stimulate your supply.

she keeps latching on and off. we're supposed to be leaving for a baby group in a few minutes. we wont be able to go if she carries on like this :(

what does it mean when they latch on and off but seem hungry? help

If DS latches on and off I put him down and then distract him with something else for a few minutes. If he still seems hungry, we try again, if not then I leave it and try again an hour later.

Sometimes DS comes off and shoves his fist in his mouth but I can't get him to latch on again. I just let him do what he likes, if he'd rather have fist than booby it's his choice.

Hi please please don't be anxious you are doing great. My boy is doing your share of the poos at the mo!!!!
I weigh weekly and was disappointed with his weight gain (2oz) but the next day he went through his growth spurt!!!!
Take all the advice and go to recommended counsellor. They will give you the time and experience that other professionals don't have.

So its okay to feel ribs and bones on a baby?

"She loves sticking her hands in her mouth and smacking her lips at all times though. Hunger or the start of teething?"

Neither - it's a normal developmental stage :)

FLTD - nothing in your post suggests anything wrong with the feeding. Everything - yes, every little thing! - you have said about your dd's weight, appearence, behaviours, length of feeds, is developmentally normal.

Of course you can feel her shoulder blades and her ribs in exactly the way you describe - it would be really, really odd if you couldn't...I'd wonder what your baby was using as a skeleton :) :)

It is unhelpful to weigh babies too frequently - the results are misleading, and it causes anxiety.

I agree with the poster who was worried about you. Your anxiety seems to be very great, and if there is someone in your life you could talk to about this - not about your dd's feeding, which sounds normal, but about your worries about it - then this would be useful, I think. This might be your GP or a HV you like and trust.

can't really add too much more but to agree this all sounds very normal- just looked at DS's book and at this age (now 3 yr) he rarely gained more than 2-3 oz / week. I used to be told to go back week after week and the HVs gave me a hard time but I reassured myself that he was a happy contented baby, just on the small side. DD (12 weeks) looks to be going the same way, luckily I now have a much better HV and I have more confidence that this is normal for my children. If she were starving she would either constantly screaming or lethargic.
Please do find someone to chat with it's so daunting when you first become a mum, a brew and a good natter can work wonders

yes perfectly normal to feel the bones on a little baby. I've got a skinny minnie too (dd 15 weeks). She's almost too long for some of her 3-6 month clothes but not wide enough to wear 3-6 month skirts or trousers and they fall off of her. I can definitely feel her ribs and shoulder bones too but there is absolutely nothing wrong with her :)
Babies like adults just come in different shapes and sizes.